The Hoya launched a new website this week — an exciting step for anyone who’s ever read anything at thehoya.com, not to mention those of us who put the stories there. But with the upgrade comes the end of an era: no longer will The Hoya facilitate anonymous commenting. That means goodbye to all the informed observers, Hoya fact-checkers and Mao Zedongs who kept the Hoya comment sections lively, and to their comments — the old ones won’t transfer to the new website.
In honor of our most dedicated readers/peanut gallery, we’ve put together a list of the best comments of all time. Actually, it’s more like the past year or so (the most commented section only goes back so far). I would offer a prize to everyone who made this list, but it’d be hard to track you all down. If any anonymouses out there want to come forward, there may be a high five in your future.
Anonymous’ reign may be over, but don’t let named commenting scare you off. Have meaningful, constructive conversations with your peers! …Or just write “derp” with a fake WordPress account.
25. “Council Rules Greco Legitimate Speaker”
“Rabble rabble rabble” sets the mood nicely.
24. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”
I can confirm that the ed board says “derp” all the time.
23. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”
Thanks, Asher. Us too.
22. “Car Crashes Into Wisey’s Fence”
Worth it? Worth it.
21 & 20. “Forbes Honors Young Alumni”
A classic spat between anonymouses.
19. “In Sudden Shift, University Opts for On-Campus Housing”
Housing is definitely the hottest of news stories.
18. “In DC, Free Parking Could Come at a Cost”
Hey, everyone deserves a Wisey’s cookie now and then. Even Todd. No, especially Todd.
17. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”
Aren’t we all?
16. “From Mascot to Pet: A New Home for JJ”
Team Pup N Suds, come work for us! Be our professional slideshow-namer! Puparazzi > Puppy Paparazzi.
15. “GUSA Presidential Candidates Spar in Debate”
GUSA articles comments sections done, forever. Just paste this in and it’s all over.
14. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”
It’s just a hot tub! It didn’t know any better!
13. “Diversity Lacking in Exec Race”
Agreed, “Keep the USA in GUSA” is pretty great. The commenter behind that phrase, however, peaked when he chose that name, before he wrote his comment. His admirer gets spot 13 instead.
12. “Diversity Lacking in Exec Race”
Where’s the birth certificate?
11. “Fall Study Abroad in Cairo Cancelled”
Sensing a theme here…
10. “State of the Race 2014: The results of The Hoya’s door-to-door GUSA poll”
Appropriate in 99 percent of Hoya comments sections.
9. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”
Todd, you didn’t have to be anonymous before! It’s OK if you’re still upset about the cookies.
8. “Gruber Discusses Safe Rides, Student Guards”
Anonymous, come work for us too. We need you to ask the tough questions. You and Pup N Suds would be the dream team.
7. “On Georgetown’s Overreaction”
Anonymous, your dream has come true! This one’s for you. <3
6. “Fall Study Abroad in Cairo Cancelled”
Touché, Anonymous. Touché.
5. “The Wolf of O Street”
Don’t they listen on their tours?
4. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”
A proverb passed down for generations.
3. “At Rhino, a New Way of Getting Carded”
Jesus has spoken.
2. “The Wolf of O Street”
If you’re ever feeling down, read about OldTattooedGuy and know that your life could be worse. OldTattooedGuy, you’ve made it through some tough times. We salute you.
1. “SAE’s Inconsistent Pledge”
Amen, Trollin’. Amen.