The Five People You’ll Meet at a Basketball Game

Well, folks, it’s back. By ‘it’, we mean the beacon of hope amidst these trying times. Among papers, finals and crying in the corner of Lau, it’s the light at the end of the tunnel, the ray of sunshine beaming through your window on a soft and snowy morning, the central tenet of your existence for the coming months. Yes, Hoyas, it’s basketball season.

The Hoyas might only be four games into the season, but even in four short games, one must learn to expect the unexpected with Hoya Basketball … cough cough, UCLA. But, in the spirit of our favorite game and our favorite time of year, here is something every Hoya fan can come to expect when he or she steps into the hallowed Verizon Center. Here are the five people you’re sure to meet at a Hoya Basketball Game:

The Drunken Potty Mouth It isn’t Hoya Basketball if this person isn’t at the game. They smell a little bit like beer, and they sound a little bit like this. Beware, opposing team, nothing is off-limits for this person. Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife, hide yo’ husband, and hide yo’ point guard, because they’re cussin’ err’body out here.

The Fan Who Doesn’t Know Anything About Basketball This person is virtually the opposite of our friend Joe (see below). He or she is characterized by looking the wrong way during the game, cheering for offense instead of saying defense, and consistently asking, “What just happened?” They probably aren’t wearing the Student Section Shirt, and they actually probably don’t even go here.

The Stats Freak This person knows that the Hoyas are 0-1, that Otto Porter used to average 8.1 points per game (we miss you, Otto!), that David Allen is exactly 6 foot 2, and that Tyler Adams is 2 for 2 in free throws this season. If you’re sitting next to this numbers-junkie, we’re sorry. But there’s a 95.6% chance that he or she isn’t.

Joe Fiorica The man. The myth. The legend. Hoya Blue’s fearless leader. Our loudest chanter. The President, nay, almighty ruler of Georgetown’s go-to group for sports-enthusiasts and school-spirit-junkies. If you don’t see Rennie screaming in the front of the student section, either he’s dead or you’re in the wrong stadium.

You You’re the happy mix of everything: the Hoya fan, the basketball fan and the social butterfly. You’re out to have a good time, spend an evening with your friends, and watch the Hoyas crush their opponents … watch out, rivals. So kick back, friend. Just relax, and enjoy the arena food. Hoya Saxa!

Photo: Georgetown Univeristy

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