Ahh it’s laundry day (please note that I am not put together enough to have a designated laundry day but in theory, this is a thing). You have paraded through your dorm with your dirty laundry – wondering why you bought a laundry hamper made of see-through mesh – and have arrived to the laundry room, characterized by flooded floors, detergent stains and miscellaneous piles of forgotten socks and t-shirts. Laundry day is fraught with questions like: “What the heck does ‘perm press warm’ mean?” “Which washers here actually work?” and “Can I take this sweatshirt that has been on the floor for a week?”. At 4E, we believe the best part of this day of the week is observing all the kinds of people that attempt to wash their pile of clothes next to you. Here we present….
The Five People You Meet in the Laundry Room
- The person still trying to figure out what the word “dirty” means.
The laundry room hosts a collection of people with widely varying definitions of the word “dirty”. At one end of the spectrum, we have the guy/girl who only washes the visibly dirty clothes (read: mud stains). “Interesting” smells do not merit any concern for this person.
2. The impatient person who unloads people’s laundry from the dryers to put his/her own wet clothing in.
If you are this person, here are some pro tips from 4E:
- Start folding the laundry of the person whose dryer you’ve hijacked until they come down to find you folding their pajamas.
- Helpfully put the laundry on top of the dryer stacks where people of average height are unable to reach.
- *A highly overrated option is just waiting for an open dryer, but why avoid some fun, awkward situations?
3. The person who, judging from a questionable ensemble, appears to be washing every article of clothing that he/she brought to college.
Hmm – nothing against your rain coat, pink pajama pants and crocs combination. Part of me is a little jealous of how cozy you look and the other part sincerely hopes that you plan on changing into something else once that load of wash is dry.
4. The person who has never before done his/her own laundry.
There are many reasons to be looking around the laundry room in bewilderment, shock and horror (the aforementioned flooding, strewn clothing and “friendly critters” all capable of eliciting such a response). Another reason may be that you have never had to consider the intermediate step between your clothes being dirty and clean and are now being asked to determine whether your respective heap of cloth warrants a “delicates cold” or “normal hot” wash cycle and frankly you are unprepared to make these types of paramount decisions.
5. The laundry pro.
This aficionado separates lights from darks and colors with ease. They know what the right amount of laundry detergent is, they use fabric softener AND dryer sheets (what do dryer sheets even do?!). They can even easily decode the cryptic washer and dryer settings. They hold the secret to the world: which washers and dryers actually work. Don’t be (too) intimidated by this laundry master. Maybe you have talents that manifest themselves in places other than the 3rd floor VCE laundry room, and that is perfectly fine.
And there you have it, 4E’s 5 people you meet in the laundry room! Wash with care.