7 Totems of Georgetown

While in the show “You” there are seven totems that mark one’s initiation into Los Angeles life, indeed there are another seven to become a full ~Hoya~. Read below to find out if you have actually reached full membership on the Hilltop.

1. Watch two rats fighting by a trash can in the dead of the night

D.C. is full of fascinating and beautiful fauna, but the rat is undoubtedly held in greatest esteem at Georgetown. If you’re lucky enough to see two of them fighting by a trash can in the dead of the night, preferably by a Henle, you’re more of a Hoya than you’ll ever know.

2. An overflowing toilet

While some may marvel at the charm of Healy and its surrounding tulip beds, I contend that the most pleasant aspect of Georgetown are the facilities — specifically overflowing toilets. Did someone clog it? Is it a simple, common malfunction? Who knows.

3. Cry over an abandoned, half-eaten grilled cheese from Epi

Anyone on the Hilltop will tell you that the proper night out ends with an excursion to Epicurean. Whether you’re merely chilling or ordering food after visiting a sweaty Henle, you and your friends (if lucky) will definitely end up sitting down at a table covered with half-eaten leftovers from your fellow, drunken Hoyas.

4. Have a cockroach in your dorm

If you thought rats were the worst thing to find in your room, guess again. Roaches also carry 33 kinds of bacteria, six different types of parasitic worms and seven known pathogens — just remember that next time one crawls across your desk.

5. Wake up to never-ending construction at 6 a.m.

If you live in Henle or Darnall, you’re all too familiar with the morning not being brought in by the sunrise, but with, well, the sound of a dump truck.

6. See the three-legged dog from SWQ

While you may have thought Jack the Bulldog was the goodest boy on campus, you were wrong. Keep an eye out for the three-legged doggo (named Crouton!) who lives in the Southwest Quad. Extra points if you pet him.

7. Admire the Harry Styles cardboard cutout in Vil A

Keep an eye out for the ominous presence of a Harry Styles cardboard cutout next time you drunkenly wander Vil A in search of a darty. You won’t be disappointed. 

The Five People You’ll Meet on the DC Metro this Summer

DC MetroAs Hoyas, we try to break the bubble as much possible, which means that we’ll likely take a trip on the metro at some point. You’ll probably meet an interesting array of people so here’s a catalog of these people to help you out.

1. The Business Professional

These “yopros” may be annoying, but for many Georgetown students this may be your future. They’re always impeccably dressed with their suits and briefcases and as you travel further into the political heart of DC, you’ll notice that they all have a government-issued security badge. The fresher the hire, the more prominently displayed the badge. They’ll spend most of the ride glued to their smartphone in an attempt to appear productive and important. They’re mostly rush-hour Metro patrons and carry that no-nonsense attitude with them all the time. If you block them on the escalator prepare to be body-slammed.

2. The Tourist

While this breed of Metro-rider is only seen at certain times of the day, the mighty Tourist is a constant presence. Their guide books will tell them to stay away from the Green & Yellow lines (which is stupid) and they will most likely be found on the Blue & Orange lines loudly counting down the stops until the Smithsonian station where they will all depart. Chances are that they will be wearing matching running shoes, fanny packs and tacky Washington D.C. t-shirts and will have a particularly noticeable regional accent. These are the people who stand on the left side of the escalator and take up two seats for one person during rush hour. They just don’t get it.

3. The Family

This type is similar to the Tourist, but the Family unit is ten times worse because they come with loud unruly children. Even if they aren’t tourists, kids have a way of almost getting shut in doors and causing general mayhem. The worst is when parents try to bring strollers into the crowded car and are surprised – mad even – when it doesn’t really fit. They shout, they move around a lot, they miss their stops a lot – they are the embodiment of a Metro nightmare.

4. The Probably Homeless Person

This guy may be homeless, or he may just be making a unique personal lifestyle choice, but he certainly does smells very strange. This person probably has a fairly large collection of empty seats around them – this is partly due to the smell, and partly due to the fact that he may be talking to himself. Even though he may be a perfectly nice person, it’s probably best to give him some space.

5. You

You’re either commuting to your internship or exploring more of the city, but you know enough of the unspoken Metro rules to get by. You have learned to not stand on the left side of the escalators, to not sit in the handicapped seats and, even though you probably don’t know exactly where you’re going, you definitely learned not to discuss that fact too loudly. You’re really just trying to take advantage of everything DC has to offer, and the Metro is the easiest way to do that.

Photo: Anamsong