The Top 25 Hoya Comments of All Time

The HoyaThe Hoya launched a new website this week — an exciting step for anyone who’s ever read anything at thehoya.com, not to mention those of us who put the stories there. But with the upgrade comes the end of an era: no longer will The Hoya facilitate anonymous commenting. That means goodbye to all the informed observers, Hoya fact-checkers and Mao Zedongs who kept the Hoya comment sections lively, and to their comments — the old ones won’t transfer to the new website.

In honor of our most dedicated readers/peanut gallery, we’ve put together a list of the best comments of all time. Actually, it’s more like the past year or so (the most commented section only goes back so far). I would offer a prize to everyone who made this list, but it’d be hard to track you all down. If any anonymouses out there want to come forward, there may be a high five in your future.

Anonymous’ reign may be over, but don’t let named commenting scare you off. Have meaningful, constructive conversations with your peers! …Or just write “derp” with a fake WordPress account.

25. “Council Rules Greco Legitimate Speaker”

Council Rules Greco Legitimate Speaker“Rabble rabble rabble” sets the mood nicely.

 

24. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”

4 Candidates Secret Society Members 5I can confirm that the ed board says “derp” all the time.

 

23. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”

4 Candidates Secret Society Members 2Thanks, Asher. Us too.

 

22. “Car Crashes Into Wisey’s Fence”

Car Crashes Into Wisey's FenceWorth it? Worth it.

 

21 & 20. “Forbes Honors Young Alumni”

Forbes Honors Young AlumniA classic spat between anonymouses.

 

19. “In Sudden Shift, University Opts for On-Campus Housing”

In Sudden Shift, University Opts for On-Campus HousingHousing is definitely the hottest of news stories.

 

18. “In DC, Free Parking Could Come at a Cost”

In DC, Free Parking Could Come at a CostHey, everyone deserves a Wisey’s cookie now and then. Even Todd. No, especially Todd.

 

17. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”

4 Candidates Secret Society Members 4Aren’t we all?

 

16. “From Mascot to Pet: A New Home for JJ”

From Mascot to Pet, a New Home for JJTeam Pup N Suds, come work for us! Be our professional slideshow-namer!  Puparazzi > Puppy Paparazzi.

15. “GUSA Presidential Candidates Spar in Debate”

GUSA Presidential Candidates Spar in Debate 1GUSA articles comments sections done, forever. Just paste this in and it’s all over.

 

14. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”

4 Candidates Secret Society Members 6It’s just a hot tub! It didn’t know any better!

 

13. “Diversity Lacking in Exec Race”

Diversity Lacking in Exec RaceAgreed, “Keep the USA in GUSA” is pretty great. The commenter behind that phrase, however, peaked when he chose that name, before he wrote his comment. His admirer gets spot 13 instead.

 

12. “Diversity Lacking in Exec Race”

Diversity Lacking in Exec 2Where’s the birth certificate?

 

11. “Fall Study Abroad in Cairo Cancelled”

Fall Study Abroad in Cairo Cancelled 2Sensing a theme here…

 

10. “State of the Race 2014: The results of The Hoya’s door-to-door GUSA poll”

State of the Race 2014Appropriate in 99 percent of Hoya comments sections.

 

9. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”

4 Candidates Secret Society Members 7Todd, you didn’t have to be anonymous before! It’s OK if you’re still upset about the cookies.

 

8. “Gruber Discusses Safe Rides, Student Guards”

Gruber Discusses Safe Rides, Student GuardsAnonymous, come work for us too. We need you to ask the tough questions. You and Pup N Suds would be the dream team.

 

7. “On Georgetown’s Overreaction”

On Georgetown's OverreactionAnonymous, your dream has come true! This one’s for you. <3

 

6. “Fall Study Abroad in Cairo Cancelled”

Fall Study Abroad in Cairo CancelledTouché, Anonymous. Touché.

 

5. “The Wolf of O Street”

Wolf of O Street 2Don’t they listen on their tours?

 

4. “4 Candidates Secret Society Members”

4 Candidates Secret Society Members 3A proverb passed down for generations.

 

3. “At Rhino, a New Way of Getting Carded”

At Rhino, a New Way of Getting CardedJesus has spoken.

 

2. “The Wolf of O Street”

Wolf of O Street 1If you’re ever feeling down, read about OldTattooedGuy and know that your life could be worse. OldTattooedGuy, you’ve made it through some tough times. We salute you.

 

1. “SAE’s Inconsistent Pledge”

Number 1 - SAE's Inconsistent PledgeAmen, Trollin’. Amen.

Staffers of the Week: Chris, Taylor and Many Office “Faces”

taylor chrisOnce a week, The Hoya recognizes a staffer that has done a particularly awesome job – now you can get to know about them too. As part of our Leavey 421 series, we’ll be posting quick interviews with each Staffer of the Week! In a special turn of events– poetic justice? divine intervention?– one of our staffers is celebrating his birthday today. Happy birthday, Chris! Keep up your fantastic work for The Hoya!

Names Chris Bien
Schools College
Years 2014
Majors Political Economy
Hometowns Los Altos Hills, CA
Positions on the Hoya Contributing Editor (former senior photo editor)

Names Taylor Wan
Schools College
Years 2016
Majors Computer Science
Hometowns New York, NY
Positions on the Hoya Web Manager (former resident female techie)

Why did you earn staffer of the week? 

Chris: I think credit first has to be given to the staff for doing a lot of work on the Faces campaign. All of the photographers and recorders worked hard in making sure we had enough people for the project. Also, Lauren Weber (former Chair of the Board) and Connor Gregoire (former Editor in Chief) for organizing the charge, while the tech team made sure the website looked sick. What I did was go through the pictures we had and make sure the matched the names and info, then resized the photos for the poster and online, and then laid them out while making sure the info and pictures were prepped and ready to go to the right people for them to do their part. It took a long time but it was worth it.

Taylor: I made and helped launch the website for the Many Faces project. I don’t know him very well, but I have a feeling Chris is going to be modest in his description, so I’m just adding this: Chris went through and made edits to every photo on the project multiple times so that they would all be formatted the same, without complaint. That’s 224 photos, and he finished everything in a day, which is simply amazing. He also offered to come to the office to help find files I needed at the last minute, and was up until 3am the night before the site launched, helping sort out last minute kinks.

What is your favorite part about working for The Hoya?

Chris: My favorite part of working at The Hoya is simply the people. While it’s cool to be able to cover cool speakers, interesting events and shoot basketball games, it’s the diversity and the personalities of the people on The Hoya that make it so much fun. I consider many of the people I’ve worked with my close friends and I’ve learned and grown a lot because of them. When you end up spending 20 or more hours a week with these guys, it’s impossible to not appreciate what they’ve done and their impact on you.

Taylor: The people! Everyone is fun, quirky and wonderful to work with. Also, someone always brings some sort of gummies to the meetings…

What was your favorite part about working on the Faces project?

Chris: My favorite part was working with Connor and Lauren on Sunday night until 6am laying out the posters and Facebook-stalking people to make sure we got the right person. It definitely felt like old times in the office when we were all in editor positions.

Taylor: The Faces project was definitely a great learning experience. I got to work with a lot of unfamiliar web-making code that I honestly still don’t completely understand, and I also got to meet a lot of great people in the process. Moreover, I pretty much just implemented the best stalking tool invented since Facebook… I’m going to have a lot more of those awkward “I-think-I’ve-seen-you-before-but-I-have-no-idea-where” moments after scrolling through all those photos and names.

As you probably already know, Hunter Main is our new Managing Editor, and you were his first selections as Staffers of the Week. How would you describe #1- Hunter’s hair and #2 Hunter’s fashion sense?

Chris: I must say, Hunter’s hair has a very nice “swoosh” to the side that very appropriately fits his fashion sense. Of course, I have no sense of fashion so I think Hunter’s fashion will always beat my laid-back Cali-ness.

Taylor: I’ve actually only seen Hunter maybe twice in my life, but I’m gonna go with dark Justin Bieber hair or quirky preppy-snazzy?

If you had to make a movie about The Hoya office, what would it be called, who would you cast – and why? (Author’s Note: this final question was slightly altered for Chris and Taylor. Though a bit different, their answers are nonetheless thoroughly entertaining and long.)

Chris: If I had to name The Hoya movie, I’d call it “The Black Hole” because you enter the organization as a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed freshman, eager to take on whatever the editors give you. Then, by the time you transition out, you feel like the life has been sucked out of you because of all the work you’ve put in it and realize you feel empty inside without The Hoya filling that void.

Since I’m old, I am going to cast the senior eds that I worked with:

So for EIC Connor, I would cast Danny Tanner from Full House as since we would always call him “Dad” in the office and you would hate to disappoint him.

Opinion Editor Katherine Foley would be Kate Middleton, cause Katherine is the Duchess of Delaware.

Executive Editor Upasana Kaku would be Michelle Rodriguez because she is a boss and can dole out the pain if you didn’t do what you were supposed to do.

Managing Editor Suzanne Fonzi would be Pam from The Office cause she was the voice of reason when the office got rowdy.

Campus Editor Mariah Byrne would be Claire Dunphy from Modern Family because she’s always on top of everything when taking care of the section.

City Editor Sarah Kaplan is Katie Couric cause she always got down to the bottom of those stories.

Layout Editor Remy Samuels would be Julia Child/Martha Stewart cause seriously, the things that Remy makes are literally heavenly.

Sports Editor Pat Curran would be Seth Rogan cause both are lovable guys who love to make jokes.

Guide Steven Piccione would be Adrian Monk cause he seems to always have a solution to a problem while liking things a particular way.

Copy Chief Sam Randazzo would be Heidi Klum cause her fashion sense is ridiculously awesome.

Blog Editor Michelle Cassidy would be a llama, cause she is one.

And Jon Rabar would naturally be James Bond. But not a Daniel Craig James Bond, more like Sean Connery James Bond, because Jon is more of a suave Bond than your rough-and-tumble Bond.

If you had to make a movie about The Hoya office, what would it be called, and which celebrities would you have play Danny Funt and Mary Nancy Walter — and why?

Taylor: Umm… some sort of musical comedy, maybe titled “The Publisher and the Published?” Also disclaimer: I stink at matching people to celebrities, so I’m just going to go with Daniel Radcliffe and Jennifer Lawrence. (Editor’s note: this is beyond hilarious to me).

Photo: Many Faces/The Hoya

Staffer of the Week: Upasana Kaku

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Once a week, The Hoya recognizes a staffer that has done a particularly awesome job – now you can get to know about them too. As part of our Leavey 421 series, we’ll be posting quick interviews with each Staffer of the Week!

Name Upasana Kaku
School SFS
Year 2013
Major International Political Economy
Hometown Silver Spring, MD

Why were you chosen for Staffer of The Week?

I, along with the fabulously talented Steven Piccione, and with the design skills of Suzanne Fonzi, conquered our super ugly homepage, and hopefully made it a little less ugly. I can’t really use technology (e.g. cell phones), but now I can write code! It also probably helped that there was no issue today, so Victoria (Managing Editor) didn’t have many people who did stuff this week to choose from for Staffer of the Week. (Editor’s noteShe’s just being modest!)

What’s your favorite part about working for The Hoya?

I can be a total nerd and still feel loved. Also, getting to meet some awesome people.

What is your favorite memory with the Hoya Staffers?

Late nights in the office when I was Executive Editor, hanging out, chatting, and watching YouTube videos with the rest of the staff long after we finished production, even though it was 3am and we all had homework we probably should have been doing or sleep we should have been catching up on.

Which Hoya Staffer do you think is most likely to receive a show on TLC? (Or be on an already existing TLC Show?) What would it be about and why would he/she be chosen?

Sarah Kaplan and Remy Samuels. Georgetown Cupcake and Cake Boss ain’t got nothin on their baking skills. (Writer’s Note: Sarah, Remy, if you’re ever in need of someone to taste test, hit me up.)

Describe Danny Funt’s (Current Editor-In-Chief) fashion sense in a haiku (Editor’s note: this is a really weird question, but I like it).

EIC Danny
Much enjoys wearing hoodies
Refrigerator

Fact: I have a really hard time counting syllables. I think I missed that unit of kindergarten or something. So sorry if that isn’t actually a haiku.