An Open Letter to Kylie Jenner

kylie openl etter

Dear Kylie,

How goes it? What’s happening, sweetie? I think I speak on behalf of the entire world when I ask — why are you doing this?

You have complete autonomy over your life choices. However, if I may offer some constructive feedback, Tyga is an objectively worse life partner/baby daddy/PR tool than Travis. Travis is hot, talented and successful. He’s a good dad. Please refer to exhibits A through D for evidence.

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she won’t let go of that purse 👛 😫

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Only love Us vs The globe

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I realize that Tyga holds some sentimental value for you. Let’s all take a moment to remember that episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” in which Tyga performed at Kendall’s Sweet 16 and shared a ~moment~ with a wide-eyed, thin-lipped teenage Kylie.

Start watching at 3:35.

Despite that, it’s about time we all moved on from our teenage crushes. Don’t you think?

As further evidence, let’s compare the artistic abilities of the two men. Would you rather be in “Rack City” or “ASTROWORLD”? Would you rather have six Grammy nominations or a $20 million lawsuit for showing women topless in the “Make it Nasty” music video without their consent? If you’re still uncertain, a text study is provided below.

Kylie, I know what you’re thinking. Who is this girl to criticize me and my decisions? And you’re right. I can’t say I’m a member of your fan base; I had a short Kardashian phase in 2012, but didn’t we all? Yet, after watching your pregnancy video, I have been rooting for you, Travis and Stormi. How could you give this up?

At the end of the day, it’s your life. This is just my opinion, so take it or leave it. I just hope you continue to “Rise and Shine” and I think that Travis is the best person to do that with.

Sources: Giphy, Tenor, YouTube, Instagram

25 Moms Better than Kylie Jenner

There’s no doubt Kylie Jenner and Stormi stole Justin Timberlake’s moment during the Super Bowl a few weeks ago. But everyone is wondering — how is 20-year-old Kylie going to transform from a glitter guru into a stellar mom?

Many of us are actually older than the younger Jenner herself, making us skeptical of her parenting skills (after all, she did confuse a baby pig for a chicken). In light of these doubts, here are 25 iconic people who may make a better mom than Kylie Jenner.

1. Regina George’s mom

2. Chrissy Teigen

3. Elastigirl

4. Grandma Squarepants

5. University President John J. DeGioia

6. Amanda Bynes (pre-rehab)

7. Tyga

8. Phoebe Buffay’s mom

9. The bouncer at Sax

10. Beyoncé

11. Kim Kim from Sazón

12. The New South RA who never writes you up

13. North, Saint and Chicago West

14. The mom from the “Black Mirror” episode “Arkangel”

15. Carey Martin from “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody”

16. Nani from “Lilo and Stitch”

17. The Cash Me Outside Girl

18. Spencer from “iCarly”

19. The mom from “Diary of a Wimpy Kid”

20. Wisey’s Rat

21. Whoever created @couplesatleos

22. Cardi B

23. Bradley Cooper (COL ’97)

24. The student guard who doesn’t just let you in

25. Kylie’s plastic surgeon

Still, in all seriousness, we here at 4E congratulate Kylie on her new baby, who is probably already richer than all of us.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, snapchatguide.blogspot.com