As you may have heard, a few days ago the Rosetta probe successfully landed on a comet. Twitter users had a humorous response to mankind’s latest outer space feat, posting ridiculous things with the hashtag #WeCanLandOnACometButWeCant. We at 4E have compiled our own list of things we can’t do:
We can land on a comet but we can’t …
… get the USB in the port on the first try.
… find Waldo.
… stop Nicholas Cage from making movies.
… find washing machines that don’t eat our socks.
… make another Harry Potter movie.
… prevent the accidental photo like on Instagram.
… listen to Taylor Swift on Spotify.
… lick our elbows.
… dislike a post on Facebook.
… spread out our flex dollars over the semester.
… find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie pop.
… rub our tummies and pat our heads.
… decide whether Diet Coke is better or worse than regular Coke.
… pick up our omelettes when we’re supposed to.
… finish a whole stick of chapstick.
… stop missing Markel Starks.
… give our dominant hands presentable manicures.
… remember where we parked our cars.
… stop watching Snapchat stories.
… keep our headphones untangled.
… get restaurant reservations on Saturday at 8 p.m.
… finish our bottles of shampoo and conditioner at the same time.
We get it, world. There is a comet out there somewhere with a probe on it. We can land on a comet. But just think of all the things we can’t do, and let’s get our priorities straight.