We Can Land on a Comet But We Can’t …

Comet Landing

As you may have heard, a few days ago the Rosetta probe successfully landed on a comet. Twitter users had a humorous response to mankind’s latest outer space feat, posting ridiculous things with the hashtag #WeCanLandOnACometButWeCant. We at 4E have compiled our own list of things we can’t do:

We can land on a comet but we can’t …

… get the USB in the port on the first try.

… find Waldo.

… stop Nicholas Cage from making movies.

… find washing machines that don’t eat our socks.

… make another Harry Potter movie.

… prevent the accidental photo like on Instagram.

… listen to Taylor Swift on Spotify.

… lick our elbows.

… dislike a post on Facebook.

… spread out our flex dollars over the semester.

… find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie pop.

… rub our tummies and pat our heads.

… decide whether Diet Coke is better or worse than regular Coke.

… pick up our omelettes when we’re supposed to.

… finish a whole stick of chapstick.

… stop missing Markel Starks.

… give our dominant hands presentable manicures.

… remember where we parked our cars.

… stop watching Snapchat stories.

… keep our headphones untangled.

… get restaurant reservations on Saturday at 8 p.m.

… finish our bottles of shampoo and conditioner at the same time.

… even

We get it, world. There is a comet out there somewhere with a probe on it. We can land on a comet. But just think of all the things we can’t do, and let’s get our priorities straight.

Photo: wikimedia.org

Twitter Feud Alert: Madeleine Albright vs. Conan O’Brien

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Our favorite Georgetown professor and former Secretary of State is already quite the tweeter, but she’s outdone herself now. After comedian Conan O’Brien tweeted he’d be dressing as a “slutty Madeleine Albright,” Madeleine fired back. See the full Twitter “feud” below:

Sassy, Madeleine. We like it.

Madeleine Albright Also Digs Leslie Knope

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Madeleine Albright — she’s just like us. Well, insofar as that she’s also a fan of Leslie Knope, the quirky former city councilwoman of Pawnee played by Amy Poehler on “Parks and Recreation.” The former Secretary of State and current Georgetown professor gave both Poehler and her beloved character a shoutout earlier this week in a tweet that would surely make Knope squeal with joy.

Madeleine, you’re not alone. We love Leslie too. And Leslie, we agree, just keep doing what you’re doing — we just hope that autographed portrait somehow makes its way into the show’s upcoming seventh season.

Photos: Alexander Brown/The Hoya, www.knope2012.com

Perez Hilton Spends the Fourth in DC

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Yesterday, while you were celebrating America, Perez Hilton was taking in the sites of Georgetown and Washington, D.C. Before venturing over to Georgetown, the celebrity blogger spent time at some of D.C.’s most popular tourist attractions on July 3 and 4. He posted the picture below to his Instagram account of him with his mother, Teresita Lavandeira, and his 1-year-old son, Mario Armando Lavandeira III,  at the Capitol.

Later in the day, Hilton visited some of Georgetown’s classic spots. He conquered the Exorcist Steps:

He was put off by the line outside of Georgetown Cupcake. Clearly no one told him about Baked and Wired:

And he had the same thoughts we all have when walking past the gigantic townhouses in Georgetown — I wish I could live here:

Finally, he made his way to campus and was as impressed as we all were the first time we saw Healy:

He showed off his patriotism on the lawn:

We can’t think of a better way to spend the Fourth of July than visiting Georgetown’s campus — good choice, Perez.

Make Tinder Fun

twinder graphicHas Tinder become boring for you? It certainly has for us at the Fourth Edition. In our fast-paced blogging world we get tired of apps really quickly. Luckily, one brave soul named Samer Kalaf from theconcourse.deadspin.com recently pioneered a new approach to the dating app. In a risky and possibly reputation-demolishing move, the groundbreaking journalist decided to communicate with his dating prospects solely through Jaden Smith’s tweets (@officialjaden). Kalaf was looking for the perfect woman, a woman who would appreciate the complexity and intellectual depth of Jaden Smith’s sage tweets.

Tweets like this:

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The results are glorious. 

The Fourth Edition, as usual, would like to suggest that you try this at home. Here are some of the characters, celebrities and movies you should attempt to impersonate via Tinder and some quotes that are particularly apropos:

Spongebob

  • “I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready ready ready.”
  • “I wumbo, she wumbo, he-she-me wumbo. Wumboing, wumbology, the study of wumbo!”
  • “I’m ugly and I’m proud!”
  • “I don’t need it, I don’t need it!”
  • “I’m no weenie!”
  • “Be true to yourself, don’t miss your chance and you won’t end up like a fool who ripped his pants!”

Frank Underwood

  • “Finish your thought.”
  • “I love that woman. I love her more than sharks love blood.”
  • “As we used to say in Gaffney, never slap a man while he’s chewing tobacco.”
  • “I’ve always loathed the necessity of sleep. Like death, it puts even the most powerful men on their backs.”
  • “Proximity to power deludes some into thinking they wield it.”

Amanda Bynes

  • “My lawyer is getting my case dropped! There was no proof of sexual harassment or drugs. Instead of me asking for the cop to be arrested for sexual harassment, I want my case dropped as well.”
  • “I only smoke tobacco I don’t drink or do drugs. I’ve never had a bong in my life!”
  • “I need Nicki Minaj’s wig person stat!”

Bridesmaids

  • “Carroll! Get your s— together, Carroll!”
  • “Oh you live in Milwaukee? I’m sorry.”
  • “It’s called civil rights. This is the ’90s.”
  • “You are more beautiful than Cinderella! You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!”

Any quality quotes we’ve missed? Share your most inspired ideas with us in the comments section below!

Georgetown Takes Top Spot for Social Media Influence

Social MediaHere on the Hilltop, we already pride ourselves on being smart, but now, we can celebrate a new accomplishment: being social media savvy. According to InTheCapital, Georgetown University garnered the best Klout score of all D.C.-area schools.

Klout is an analytics company started in 2008 that aims to measure users’ “influence” through social media presence. It tracks over 400 signals from 8 different social networks and then assigns users a score from 1 to 100. The higher the score given, the more influence a user has.

(President Obama currently boasts a Klout score of 99, while Justin Bieber and Zooey Deschanel received scores of 92 and 86, respectively.)

With active accounts on all of Klout’s measured platforms (including Instagram, Facebook and Twitter), Georgetown took the top spot for its social media presence with a score of 92. Close behind were Johns Hopkins and — sadly — George Washington University with scores of 91. University of Maryland and University of Virginia finished in the top five both with scores of 90.

To see the full list of rankings, click here. In the meantime, stay influential, Hoyas.

Photo: InTheCapital

Five Steps for Coping with the Government Shutdown, As Told By Social Media

Government Shutdown

As everyone knows (and if you don’t know, you’ve apparently been under a rock for the last week), the federal government has been shut down due to a failure to agree on a new debt budget.  Social media, especially Twitter, has been EN FUEGO (on fire, for our non-Spanish speaking readers) with commentary on the shutdown. These tweets have been witty, sad, controversial and everything in between.  Here are the 5 Steps for Coping with the Government Shutdown, As Told By Social Media*:

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*Disclaimer: these posts are not representative of my views or those of The Hoya. They simply made me chuckle:

1. Anarchy

If your first reaction was one similar to theirs, you should probably check out this article from early last week.

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2. Acceptance

Now that people began to understand what the shutdown meant, the posts became a little calmer, albeit a bit melodramatic.

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3. Prioritize

How does the shutdown affect you? What should you look out for?

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4. Try to Find a Solution

Some Hoyas on Facebook had some advice for getting through the shutdown:

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5. Look at the Silver Lining

You aren’t in Congress, so unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot we can do at the moment. Just try and look at the bright side!Screen Shot 2013-10-07 at 8.19.01 PM

While the government shutdown is certainly no laughing matter, at least these students and celebrities helped me get a laugh out of the ordeal.  If you are looking for more bizarre humor, just search “government shutdown pickup lines” on Twitter. Yup, it’s trending.  Hopefully this will be the last shutdown post out of us, and a big thank you to those of you that made it possible.  Keep up the good work!

Photo: Amari O’Bannon, Huffington Post, ParkTheaterVideo

Look Who Just Joined Twitter!

Madeleine Just Joined TwitterThat’s right. There’s a new tweeter in town, and it’s none other than our favorite  brooch-branding former-Secretary-of-State-turned-Georgetown-faculty-member, Madeleine Albright.

As of yesterday, Secretary Albright had officially set up a Twitter. Her first tweet, which featured a nifty photo of her in a “Tweet” pin (how festive!) read:

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Though new to the Twitter scene, Secretary Albright has sure hit the ground running. She’s already been tweeted at by – and has responded to – Suzanne Philion (@SuzKP) and Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton). She’s also talked about one of her special musical talents.

To find out more about Madeleine’s entry into the Twitter-verse, check out her page here and be sure to follow her at @madeleine. And, as always, be sure to follow us @thehoya4E for our latest stories, tips and tricks. Happy tweeting, Hoyas! (That includes you, Madeleine!)

Georgetown Day 2013, as Told by Twitter

as  told by twitter

What just happened.

After much anticipation for the last day of Friday classes and some worrying about the weather, the student body successfully came out this Friday to celebrate one of the best annual traditions in Washington: Georgetown Day.

It’s one thing to recap the events of the day — from stellar a capella performances to break dancing in Red Square — but the only way to give this year’s beautifully sunny Georgetown Day justice is to tell its story through the tweets of fellow Hoyas.

1. The rumble of excitement began in the night, like waiting for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.

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2. Center for Student Programs Director Erika Cohen Derr shared some advice for the ensuing festivities. Not to mention the all-caps touch.

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3. And even Otto Porter was excited.

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4. But one does not simply celebrate Georgetown Day without preparing the proper attire.

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5. Let’s be real. There’s only one option: a tank.

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6. OK, maybe two options.

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7. Those who decided to partake in certain beverages set the bar high. Like superstar-celebrity-status high.

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8. Which might have been too much for some.

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9. But sometimes “No” is just an unacceptable answer.

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10. Remember, though, some have to go class on Friday, because this is a school and that’s what people do when at school.

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11. Then again, maybe it’s best to stay out of the classroom sometimes, given the circumstances.

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12. Then there were those who had some harsh realizations.

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13. Paired with sheer awe at the events going on all over campus.

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14. Then there was some suspicious tomfoolery.

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15. Sometimes there are consequences for party rocking.

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16. But some had enough energy to keep the momentum going.

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17. However, at the end of the day, no one puts it better than a former Hoya Sports deputy editor.

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@OttoPorterFacts

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There are some pretty interesting Twitter accounts out there (cough @PizzaAtLeos cough), and in the light of Otto Porter’s recent success, another has arisen.

Say hello to @OttoPorterFacts.

This Twitter is devoted to praising all things Otto (and there are many things to praise in these exciting times for GU basketball) and is sure to be the next big Georgetown Twitter fad.

Here are some of our favorites, just to give you a sneak peek. Be sure to check it out, especially with Rutgers on Saturday and Syracuse on the 9th! (YOU’D BETTER BE BACK FROM HOME/VACATION FOR THAT GAME).

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And my personal favorite:

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Photo: The Daily Orange