tweets – The Fourth Edition | The Hoya’s Blog

April 16, 2014April 16, 2014

Make Tinder Fun

Has Tinder become boring for you? It certainly has for us at the Fourth Edition. In our fast-paced blogging world we get tired of apps really quickly. Luckily, one brave soul named Samer Kalaf from theconcourse.deadspin.com recently pioneered a new approach to the dating app. In a risky and possibly reputation-demolishing move, the groundbreaking journalist decided to communicate with his dating prospects solely through Jaden Smith’s tweets (@officialjaden). Kalaf was looking for the perfect woman, a woman who would appreciate the complexity and intellectual depth of Jaden Smith’s sage tweets.

Tweets like this:

The results are glorious.

The Fourth Edition, as usual, would like to suggest that you try this at home. Here are some of the characters, celebrities and movies you should attempt to impersonate via Tinder and some quotes that are particularly apropos:

Spongebob

“I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready ready ready.”
“I wumbo, she wumbo, he-she-me wumbo. Wumboing, wumbology, the study of wumbo!”
“I’m ugly and I’m proud!”
“I don’t need it, I don’t need it!”
“I’m no weenie!”
“Be true to yourself, don’t miss your chance and you won’t end up like a fool who ripped his pants!”

Frank Underwood

“Finish your thought.”
“I love that woman. I love her more than sharks love blood.”
“As we used to say in Gaffney, never slap a man while he’s chewing tobacco.”
“I’ve always loathed the necessity of sleep. Like death, it puts even the most powerful men on their backs.”
“Proximity to power deludes some into thinking they wield it.”

Amanda Bynes

“My lawyer is getting my case dropped! There was no proof of sexual harassment or drugs. Instead of me asking for the cop to be arrested for sexual harassment, I want my case dropped as well.”
“I only smoke tobacco I don’t drink or do drugs. I’ve never had a bong in my life!”
“I need Nicki Minaj’s wig person stat!”

Bridesmaids

“Carroll! Get your s— together, Carroll!”
“Oh you live in Milwaukee? I’m sorry.”
“It’s called civil rights. This is the ’90s.”
“You are more beautiful than Cinderella! You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!”

Any quality quotes we’ve missed? Share your most inspired ideas with us in the comments section below!

October 8, 2013October 8, 2013

Five Steps for Coping with the Government Shutdown, As Told By Social Media

As everyone knows (and if you don’t know, you’ve apparently been under a rock for the last week), the federal government has been shut down due to a failure to agree on a new debt budget. Social media, especially Twitter, has been EN FUEGO (on fire, for our non-Spanish speaking readers) with commentary on the shutdown. These tweets have been witty, sad, controversial and everything in between. Here are the 5 Steps for Coping with the Government Shutdown, As Told By Social Media*:

*Disclaimer: these posts are not representative of my views or those of The Hoya. They simply made me chuckle:

1. Anarchy

If your first reaction was one similar to theirs, you should probably check out this article from early last week.

2. Acceptance

Now that people began to understand what the shutdown meant, the posts became a little calmer, albeit a bit melodramatic.

3. Prioritize

How does the shutdown affect you? What should you look out for?

4. Try to Find a Solution

Some Hoyas on Facebook had some advice for getting through the shutdown:

5. Look at the Silver Lining

You aren’t in Congress, so unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot we can do at the moment. Just try and look at the bright side!

While the government shutdown is certainly no laughing matter, at least these students and celebrities helped me get a laugh out of the ordeal. If you are looking for more bizarre humor, just search “government shutdown pickup lines” on Twitter. Yup, it’s trending. Hopefully this will be the last shutdown post out of us, and a big thank you to those of you that made it possible. Keep up the good work!

Photo: Amari O’Bannon, Huffington Post, ParkTheaterVideo

April 27, 2013April 27, 2013

Georgetown Day 2013, as Told by Twitter

What just happened.

After much anticipation for the last day of Friday classes and some worrying about the weather, the student body successfully came out this Friday to celebrate one of the best annual traditions in Washington: Georgetown Day.

It’s one thing to recap the events of the day — from stellar a capella performances to break dancing in Red Square — but the only way to give this year’s beautifully sunny Georgetown Day justice is to tell its story through the tweets of fellow Hoyas.

1. The rumble of excitement began in the night, like waiting for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.

2. Center for Student Programs Director Erika Cohen Derr shared some advice for the ensuing festivities. Not to mention the all-caps touch.

3. And even Otto Porter was excited.

4. But one does not simply celebrate Georgetown Day without preparing the proper attire.

5. Let’s be real. There’s only one option: a tank.

6. OK, maybe two options.

7. Those who decided to partake in certain beverages set the bar high. Like superstar-celebrity-status high.

8. Which might have been too much for some.

9. But sometimes “No” is just an unacceptable answer.

10. Remember, though, some have to go class on Friday, because this is a school and that’s what people do when at school.

11. Then again, maybe it’s best to stay out of the classroom sometimes, given the circumstances.

12. Then there were those who had some harsh realizations.

13. Paired with sheer awe at the events going on all over campus.

14. Then there was some suspicious tomfoolery.

15. Sometimes there are consequences for party rocking.

16. But some had enough energy to keep the momentum going.

17. However, at the end of the day, no one puts it better than a former Hoya Sports deputy editor.

Spongebob

Frank Underwood

Amanda Bynes

Bridesmaids

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