Things to Do Once You Crash on Homecoming

I don’t know about you guys, but this whole “school” thing is already getting me down.

You can find me at any one of these locations.

If you’re feeling the burnout like me, count yourself lucky — we have something to look forward to!

HOMECOMING

Anyone who’s spent the last few weeks getting a little too familiar with Lau’s “basement prison” interior design aesthetic, I’m with you. School sucks.

But you know what doesn’t suck? NOT spending time in Lau. Preferably, at the “football game” known as Homecoming.

When you see your friend at a party and go in for a hug but you both just fall down.

“HoCo,” as they call it at schools with football stadiums rather than bleachers, is like Christmas — it only comes once a year. So, if you find yourself being a little too ~heavy-handed~ on Saturday, don’t fear. We’ve got you.

*Plz* keep reading for a list of 4E’s top recommendations for what to do once you inevitably crash on Homecoming.

NOTE: These guidelines are ONLY for the 21+ Hoyas out there! Make good choices, kids!

Food

When hunger strikes after a long day of partying, the consequences can be disastrous. Smart Hoyas know that in order to avoid situations like these, one must come prepared. Please whip out your phones and input the following information into your speed dial:

Domino’s: (202) 342-0100

Mai Thai: (202) 337-2424

Wingo’s (RIP, but they still deliver from their new location): (202) 338-2478

Fire up your UberEats. Make a trip to Safeway and stock up on snacks. By all means, do whatever you need to do to keep your friends from being torn apart by their conflicting, relentless cravings.

God, Jan, no one else wants donuts. You’re the only one who wants donuts.

Pro Tip: A stroll to Chick-fil-a never (really) hurt nobody.

Film & Television

Homecoming is about indulgence. You could even call it Treat-Yo-Self Day. So, if you and your friends choose to settle down in front of a laptop screen after a long day of debauchery wholesome fun, try treating yourself to:

Troy

Also known as three hours of shirtless men (Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom … need I say more?) prancing around in togas, doing battle/sword stuff. The highest of entertainment.

Bend it Like Beckham

Do you ever just crave a feel-good movie with inspiring messages about female empowerment, family traditions and love? This movie is soooooo underrated.

Harry Potter

Homecoming in a nutshell.

Nothing gets me in my feels like a good old HP marathon. Throw on your jammies, sip some butterbeer (hot cocoa works too) and prepare to be transported back to a magical land of childhood innocence that is far, far away from the ~activities~ you were engaging in just hours beforehand.

Zoey 101 (or any Nickelodeon/Disney Channel throwbacks)

Me if anyone so much as mentions the words “Tito’s and lemonade”…

These are crowd-pleasers. Need I say more?

Miscellaneous Nonsense

If all else fails, there are only two things you can do:

Hit the books.

I wish I had recommendations for you, but I can’t remember the last time I read a non-YA book that I actually liked. Don’t underestimate the fun that can be had reading a book out loud to your friends, preferably upside-down/backwards while under the influence of really great writing.

Just lie down.

Floors are your friends. Show them some love this Saturday, whether you’re truly tired or want to protest against your friends for entering yet another sweaty Henle. This is the simplest, most cost-effective recommendation we at 4E could think of — 11/10 would recommend.

Thank you for sticking with me through this list of highly curated content. Have fun and be safe! ☺︎ hOyA sAxA ☺︎

Sources: giphy.com, youtube.com

The Stages Of A Freshman’s Weight Gain

Banner - Freshman 15Spring break came and went very fast. Some of us went to help the less fortunate in areas like Mississippi and Honduras. The rest of us did not. Instead of making a decent contribution to civilization, many of us at 4E (and Georgetown in general) went to places that were farther and much more dangerous, and then partook in ~debauchery~ once we got there. By that, I mean we either went home or to tropical beaches. The people in ABP and Global Brigades may have followed the message of the Gospel, but we followed the message of Parks and Recreation:

While thinking of your friends on service trips during spring break, you might have begun to think about something else while you relaxed on the beach: your increase in weight since coming to college. For some, being with other people really magnifies such thoughts and propels them to assess their physical state. In order to document this common occurrence for college students, here 4E has created a general timeline of how you gain weight during your freshman year:

  1. Late August: It’s time for move-in day! You’ve been running/swimming/lifting/starving all summer long. You’ve done it all for the idea of going into college in pristine physical shape. In your eyes, you’re a workout warrior; nothing can bring you down now! 
  2. NSO to mid-September: You’ve been having the time of your life for the first few weeks. Classes have not really picked up speed yet, and you’re going out two, three or maybe even four nights per week. Then there are EPI QUESADILLAS and, even better, CHICKEN FINGER THURSDAY. You know that you can’t keep this up forever, but it’s the beginning of college! You’ve been keeping up with exercising and haven’t noticed any physical changes yet, so you figure you’re in the clear.
  3. Late September to Homecoming: It’s midterm season, and classes are dragging you down. You stay in a few nights focus on your studies and skip a few parties. However, this also comes at a price: you can only work for so long before making a run to Vittles or Epi. And this is where the downfall beings. By the time Homecoming rolls around, these food runs are part of your daily routine. You are also confident in your ability to down fifteen chicken fingers for lunch. But hey, don’t sweat it…you’ve got plenty of time to work out, even if the last few weeks of midterms have caused you to miss a few days. 
  4. Homecoming to Halloween: Madness. Absolute madness. You’re just finishing up midterms, and the excitement on campus is building due to the closeness of Halloweekend. You’re being super productive, and you don’t even think about your runs to Corp storefronts or Epi. You finish all your work before the big weekend, so you’re super excited to eat and drink everything whatever comes your way this weekend. But wait! Your Flex Dollars run out, and then you realize that you are not only gaining weight, but also losing money. Before you know it, you have to dip into your beloved Debit Dollars in order to satisfy your desires those wild nights. 
  5. Morning after Halloween to Thanksgiving: You dressed up as a Goth person for Halloween and wore black clothes and black makeup. However, you wake up with also a black tongue. Did you ingest some of your makeup out of desperate, drunken hunger? No, because that’s gross. Luckily, you begin to recall a hazy memory of going to Vittles and eating an Oreo ice cream sandwich…..after eating a chicken quesadilla with extra guac AND extra bacon (a recent revelation). The post-Halloween lull sets in, and staying in becomes a regular occurrence. But fear not! You find solace in food. At this point, you are sure that you are out of shape and are gaining weight. Instead of working out, you are now porking out.
  6. Thanksgiving to Christmas: After stuffing your body to the point where you hate everything about yourself, you return to campus for a surprise: warm weather’s back! It’s in the 60s and you see this an opportunity to bring the shorts back out. You do notice, however, that they feel a bit…tight, and the pockets appear to be…stretched. You are beginning to accept that your original plan to stay in shape is failing, and you make it your goal to get back into decent shape over break. 
  7. Christmas break to mid January: Does this plan work? Of course not. Christmas break was like Thanksgiving, except it continued for three weeks. Sitting on a couch while watching four seasons of SVU (five times through) is never good. You also indulge with your friends from home, which kind of(?) makes it okay. You start going out after basketball games, and while your pants feel tight, they don’t seem to be getting any tighter! You take this as a good sign, and keep doing what you’re doing.
  8. Mid-January to Spring Break: Long weekends, Valentine’s Day, and midterms all take their respective tolls on you. You go out to eat more, but you can still squeeze into your pants for formal. You discover other items at Epi, such as the buffet and the 1984, that satisfy your cuisine needs. In the week before spring break, your beloved Vittles ice cream sandwiches are the only things keeping you going during those late nights in Lau and MSB.
  9. Spring Break: Assuming you are not on a service trip, you’re living it up either at home or a hotel. No words necessary; spring break is not good for weight loss and physical fitness. You bring running clothes to Florida, but only run to the store for ice cream. The rest of your days are spent watching TV, going to the beach, and overall throwing up having a good time raging relaxing. You generally ignore how much you consume during this week.
  10. Post-Spring-Break-Mortem: You feel awful about yourself because you ate and drank things that you shouldn’t have consumed. Does this make you improve your dietary habits? You already know the answer. It’s Sunday morning before classes resume. Leo’s is closed, and you’re HUNGRY. None of your friends respond to your invitation to eat, so you decide to go to either Wisey’s or Booey’s alone. Next thing you know, you’re at Good Stuff before 12 PM with a burger and shake in your hands, and you’re eating alone at a table. Instead of just getting a Snapple or an ice cream sandwich at Vittles, you now polish off a pint of Häagen-Dazs AND a quart of milk in one night. You finally realize that you have officially transformed from a workout warrior to a complete couch potato.

If you identify with these stages, you’re not alone! Some view gaining weight as an unavoidable part of college. Don’t sweat the food runs; everyone does them at some point. My prediction for the future? Going to Good Stuff alone is probably as low as you can go, so you should be in the clear. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing because you have all summer to get in shape. In the meantime, remember that once Georgetown Day comes…nothing’s going to hold you back.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, women2.com, athleticx.net

Favor! The Life Saver

UntitledEver wanted a personal delivery assistant? Look no further. Favor is here for you. The Favor app (for iOS and Android), is free through Apple and Google Play, allows you to order ANYTHING and get it delivered to your dorm, job, a party, wherever. With an average delivery time of 35 minutes or less you can have whatever your heart desires… So, what are you waiting for?

5 Favor Life Savers for the Hoya College Student:

1) Sick: We’ve all been there – sick as a dog? Can’t move from bed? Well, don’t. Your personal Favor delivery assistant will bring you medicine and comfort food right to your door. Gatorade, anyone?

2) Hangover Cure: Crazy late nights and early mornings. Favor to the rescue with that caffeine pick me up and supplies to get you through that 8 am! Really, who can even learn at 8 am?

3) Keep your Lazy on: Netflix & Chill. Kick back, relax and let our Runners wait on your behalf!

4) Drowning In the School Work: Already have tests, papers, and homework galore? Fear not. Whether studying in the library, in your dorm, or at your apartment, our Runners will find you, but not in a creepy way though ;)

5) Treat Yo’ Self: You are awesome! You’ve worked hard and you deserve a Favor.

Excited to start using this amazing app?  New to Favor? They have your back! Simply use the code HOYA to waive your first delivery fee! And don’t forget to share your personal referral code to get $6 in delivery credit for every friend who places their first order.

Photo/Gifs: tumblr.com, giphy.com, favirdelivery.com 

Aziz Ansari Killed It Last Night at the Verizon Center

azizkilleditHere at 4E, we like to think we are pretty funny. Any time we get the chance to indulge in a good laugh, we take it so I spent last night at the Verizon Center watching one of the best comedians out there.  Aziz Ansari, of “Parks and Recreation” fame (as well as some phenomenal stand-up videos), was in town and he absolutely crushed it.

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The show opened with a very impressive Michael Jackson impersonator.  While the performance seemed a bit out of place, hearing some classics from the King of Pop is never a bad thing and the impersonator was an incredible dancer.  Next up was comedian Hannibal Buress, who put together a hilarious set to get the crowd in the mood for Aziz.  While I wasn’t crazy about him tearing apart the sport of baseball, he certainly had me laughing for most of the performance.  Finally, after a short delay due to technical difficulties, the moment we had all been waiting for arrived: It was time for Aziz.

For those of you unfamiliar with the comedian, I highly recommend checking out his stand-up, both because it’s very funny and because I probably can’t quite capture his style.  For the most part, Aziz is incredibly friendly with the crowd, but has no qualms about verbally abusing those in his audience, either.  He can be very explicit, but not in the Dane Cook sense; he will use vulgar language, but really only when it feels natural. He also has a plethora of stories and impressions of bizarre, run-of-the-mill rappers that he loves to feature (more on that later).  Basically, if you go to an Aziz Ansari show, you can expect a lot of hilarious jokes about situations that aren’t necessarily funny to begin with.

Last night’s set covered the industrial food industry, a killer Ja Rule impression, the ups-and-downs of texting and relationships, ghosts and even gender equality.  He called on volunteers a few times and none escaped unscathed.  One particularly brave audience member volunteered a text conversation with a girl he was “dating” to be read aloud, and it did not disappoint; the texts only served to fuel Aziz’s fire about our generation’s horrible texting/dating culture.  While I wish I could say I remembered most of his punchlines, I can’t say I do; not that they weren’t memorable, just that the pace of the show was so quick.  All I know is he had me — and the rest of the audience — doubling over with laughter.

Prior to last night I had never been to a comedy show, and Aziz Ansari certainly proved to be a great first experience.  I would give the performance five stars and two thumbs way up and would absolutely go to see him again.  If you’re reading 4E, it probably means that you have pretty good taste so I’d highly recommend an Aziz Ansari show to all of you lovely people.6a0120a95a88d5970b01a3fa75f152970b-800wi