A Sneak Peak Into Your Semester Online

Due to the ongoing public health crisis, Georgetown has decided the majority of students will remain home for the fall 2020 semester. Hoyas received a taste of online learning during the spring of 2020, but this fall, admin has spared no expense to offer a semester with even more precision and in-depth planning than the last.

Photorealistic representation of McKinsey consultants unraveling and editing DeGioia’s reopening plan.

While this won’t be the semester anyone had envisioned, we may as well prepare for what lies ahead. The 4E is here to offer you a ~sneak preview~ of your online fall semester!

John DeGioia, do your worst.

Classes:

With full course loads and asynchronous lectures, Hoyas everywhere can expect ~The Grind~ to never stop!

Chad from Apple Pie Delta gets frustrated during his OPIM lecture.

The Grind, of course, comes with its own challenges. Living at home means parents and younger siblings interrupting lectures and valuable study time. Staring at your online class crush covertly (or even enlarging their picture in Zoom) is enough of a distraction!

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There’s no place like Lau 4! There’s no place like Lau 4! There’s no place like Lau 4!

There are some bright sides to online classes, though. Over Zoom, Hoyas can live out their reality television star dreams by sitting in their very own confessional square! Use the background of your favorite Confessional Booth™, and, suddenly, you too are a Kardashian!

Me trying to get through a 9 a.m. economics lecture.

Hoyas can also take advantage of the small screen to show off their quarantine fits. Of course, stunting in Lau is a Georgetown tradition, so you can bet some students will be angling their cameras juuust right to show off a glimpse of that Gucci belt!

Sweatpants and slippers are also a ~stellar~ option.

Parties:

While the Vil A rooftop won’t be baptized with the annual syllabus week parties to kick off the semester, online classes can’t stop Hoyas from turning up! Zoom parties will be just like regular ones, only much less sweaty. And you’ll have complete control over the aux (and a mute button)!

The “Devil’s Advocate” from your political theory class acting like a young Ben Shapiro after drinking two White Claws again? Mute him!

These Zoom parties will have an unlimited capacity for fun guests, so no need for a pledge asking freshmen at the door, “Who do you know here?” Just don’t be surprised when your friends 8+ timezones away from you ~darty~ while you ~party~!

Class of 2024 crashing seniors’ exclusive Zoom parties.

To top it all off, Natty Light will also no longer be the only alcoholic option for (21+) Hoyas to enjoy! Nothing says “lit” like the unopened red wine your mom got as a gift in 2016!

Clubs:

While parties can easily be transitioned online, Georgetown’s Club Culture™ is harder to recreate over the internet.

How can the Hoyas get rejected from The Corp if there’s no coffee to serve in the first place?

Some of Georgetown’s most ~exclusive~ clubs will have to transition online for recruitment, initiation and everything in between! This may serve as a huge advantage for the business crowd: No more running across campus in suits only to be rejected by the consulting club of your choice! For other clubs, it may not be as simple, resulting in a few hiatuses.

An exclusive look into GU Eating Society’s next gathering.

Reminder: The Hoya is always looking for new talent ;)

Work-Study and Internships:

Many students lost their on-campus jobs in the spring, including students working at Lauinger Library and Yates and as student guards. To compensate for this sudden unemployment, Georgetown is offering a number of online work-study positions.

Georgetown isn’t known for its IT positions (I’m looking at you, always empty UIS Service Desk on the third floor of Lau), but in this unprecedented time, innovation in student work is necessary. The 4E personally brainstormed ideas for online jobs for Hoyas:

  1. Zoom Bombing Student Guard
  2. Exam Proctor (see: Narc)
  3. OnlyFans Content Creator
  4. Author Of a Book Written in Quarantine Set To Be Published In April 2021
  5. “Tennis Coach”

We also can’t forget those students experiencing remote internships! Let’s hear it for our remote Hillterns™!

“The West Wing” but make it ~virtual~

Traditions:

Hoyas already missed out on Georgetown Day 2020, so we deserve a fun homecoming at the very least. Even though there will be no football, we all know that, at Georgetown, homecoming is never about the football anyway.

“Homecoming” can take on a new and more literal meaning in this quarantine. Hoyas could flood campus for a weekend in September (while social distancing, of course) to bring us together for the first time since March and keep the Georgetown spirit alive!

Hoya Saxa!

Students turning 21 will also have to adapt the Tombs Night tradition to an online platform. When The Tombs finally reopens, you can bet most of the bar’s patrons will be stamping their foreheads to make up for their missed birthdays. But for now, a postal stamp and a speech on Zoom will have to do.

A cake also couldn’t hurt. Or, if you’re anything like me, try a piñata!

Spring:

While the future opening status of Georgetown is unknown, we can all do our part to stay safe now to be together as a family in the future.

Where’s your mask, Andy Samberg?

For now, live your Georgetown career without regret! DM that cutie in your theology class on Canvas! Take “International Finance” pass/fail! Email your TA to round up your grade! Catfish your professor by using a hot person’s photo as your Zoom avatar!

From all of us at the 4E, stay healthy Hoyas! We hope to see you on campus soon!

Why 20 Is Not an Irrelevant Age

We here at 4E have set out to explain Why 20 Is Not Irrelevant: You may not get a Tombs Night, but the big 2-0 has some perks.

  1. Congrats! You’ve beaten teen pregnancy!  Take pride in accomplishing something Kylie Jenner could not.

  2. You’ve likely spent fifteen years of your life in school and still don’t understand taxes. But, hey, at least you know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!
  3. It is legal to drink in Iceland and Japan. Is there a Tombs in Tokyo?


  4. You’re closer to turning 40 than you are to birth!
  5. Teenage emo phases are over — it ISN’T a phase mom, this IS the real me.


  6. You can officially feel out of touch with ~the youth~ and not feel like a bad millennial. I never understood fidget spinners anyway, to be honest.


  7. Society expects you to get married, have kids and successfully establish a career during this decade! (I’m fine, he’s fine, we’re ALL FINE!)

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, eaglesgymnastics.com

The Real Tombs Trivia

Ahh, senior year is finally here! While for many this involves dreaded words like “employment” and “graduation,” there is a very easy way to forget all of this: The Tombs. From the great deals on draft, to its charming atmosphere, there’s no question why The Tombs is one of Georgetown students’ favorite places to share stories pitchers.

However, only the the most successful of seniors really knows ~everything~ there is to know about this restaurant. Do you have what it takes to be crowned a trivia master? Check out 4E’s latest quiz to determine whether you’ve forgotten everything from your late nights at our favorite spot, or you’ve got a memory strong enough to power you through one last year of cramming for your last history requirement you somehow pushed off until senior year:

[playbuzz-item url=”https://www.playbuzz.com/isvtvk10/the-real-tombs-trivia” comments=”false”]

Photos: facebook.com, tumblr.com

 

 

Classic Underclassmen Mistakes at Bars

Readers, it’s now July and the sun has since set on my second year at Georgetown. I am now considered an ~upperclassman~ at this wonderful institution. Let’s just say I’m feeling a little nostalgic.

Despite feeling a bit depressed that I only have half of my time left at Georgetown, one day, I started thinking and laughing about all the things freshmen and sophomores do that scream “UNDERCLASSMAN.” For example, I used to say “the” before every location. “The Brown House,” “the Nevils” and “the Midnight Mug” were just a few phrases that gave me away as a freshman two autumns ago. One of the lists that came to mind was the mistakes that underclassmen make at bars — a list that I’m sure could fill an entire book.

Piano Bar, Chinese Disco, Mr. Smith’s — these may not be a few of your favorite things, but they certainly are for a large part of the student body. Check out Piano on a Wednesday for Jersey Night, crawling with sober freshmen and a few intoxicated, washed-up seniors. Chi Di Thursdays, arguably the best day of the week, are a great way to kick off the weekend. The legendary Mr. Smith’s brunch is a way to waste enjoy most of your Saturday.

It just might happen that Chi Di is letting people in as 18+, so those of you who are youngsters are in luck! You don’t need to worry about getting past the bouncer and/or the cops. The venue’s bumping, your 21+ friends pass you beverages and you’re having the time of your life while dancing on one of the booths. But wait! 12:30 rolls around and they decide to kick all of the 18+ guests out. You, however, try your luck and evade the flashlight-wielding bouncers for a period of time. Just when you think they’re gone, you get back up on a booth and start breaking it down again. Before you know, a flashlight is shining right in your eyes and you’re forced to show some identification. Luckily, you brought a fake ID with you to save the day! Your reach into your wallet and hand it to the bouncer without even looking. As the light shines on it, you see that you actually handed him the WRONG ID and gave yourself away as underage.

He promptly takes your drink and pulls you from the crowd to leave you outside, wondering whether you should try Piano or just call it a night. You later have to face the shame of telling all your friends about what happened, and you just feel dreadful. However, as bad as you feel about yourself for getting kicked out of Chi Di, you don’t envy your other friend. He took a different route and went to Piano. Acting like a big shot, he decided to open a tab and buy all of his friends drinks. Is one vodka soda a good choice? Yes. Is buying twenty of them a good choice? Definitely not. He came home from Piano with an empty bank account, no memory and no Quick Pita.

While buying your friends drinks is a nice gesture (after all, who’s going to say no?), it might be a wiser choice to save your money for more necessary purchases, such as food. One way to avoid killing your bank account is to not arrive at the bar too early and enjoy your New South pregame a bit more. If you think that those are beneath you as a freshman and that I’m lying, good for you! You’re probably not that fun anyway.

Underclassmen also sometimes try to argue with the bouncer when he rejects them. This. Never. Works. Maybe you try to convince him that you’re actually from where your ID says: “Please sir, I’ve lived in Pennsylvania my whole life!” OR, you might just try to be rational with the doorman: “If you let me in last night, why aren’t you letting me in now?” (Do I appreciate this line? Maybe. Let’s just say there’s no better weapon than logic.) Either way, trying to argue your way into the bar is only going to make the bouncers angry, and decrease your chances of getting in. In this circumstance, you could compare the bar to a Brown House party: some nights you’ll get in quite easily; other times you’ll be sent back home quite early. Of course, you could have made the simple error of choosing the wrong age on your ID. This situation may look like this:

Last but certainly not least, we have the classic mistake of trying one’s luck with the cops. When there’s a cop next to the bouncer, most students who “shouldn’t” be going to the bar turn and disappear.

However, some have such strong faith in their fake IDs that they truly believe they can fool the cops. Next thing they know, they’re pulled aside, forced to sit on the curb and soon taken down to the station, where they process you and send you back home. The only thing that may be worse than being arrested is having to tell your parents that you were arrested. Some anonymous Hoyas who have endured this tragedy describe their initial reaction as this:

The bottom line? Not worth it.

Although there are probably dozens of more mistakes that underclassmen typically make at bars, these are just a few common ones that make people laugh, cry or think of better times when they had clean records. Just remember, we at 4E just want you to have fun and be safe if or when you do venture off campus. So in conclusion, stay responsible, Hoyas! And if you’re an underclassman who hasn’t already ventured to a bar, please note that nine times out of ten then your GoCard will not be accepted as a valid form of ID.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, media.collegetimes.com, youtube.com

Tombs Brings the Music

Tombs Live Music

While wine night at The Tombs may have been cancelled, management there is making alternative Sunday night plans: live music!

That’s right, beginning next semester, there are plans to have live musical performances. These will largely be acoustic sets already chosen by management.

However – student bands, rejoice! – there will be possible opportunities for student performances in the form of an open mic night. So break out that guitar you got for Christmas freshman year, run through your super original cover of “Hey Ya” a couple times and get ready for your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to show your stuff at The Tombs. You may not have half-off wine (sorry, SWUGs), but you can either listen to or participate in a musical good time.

Photo: georgetown.edu

Tombs Cancels Wine Night

tombs

Wine night, The Tombs’ weekly Sunday-night celebration of wine, has been cancelled indefinitely, 4E has learned.

Hopefully you’ve made alternate plans for your Sunday nights since you definitely won’t be enjoying half-off bottles of wine at The Tombs in the foreseeable future. We can only hope The Tombs reinstates wine nights as soon as possible so we can get back to our usual Sunday routine.

What I Miss Most…

things we already miss

Hey, Hoyas, how long’s it been?

Oh yeah, that’s right, two weeks.

It’s only been two weeks since we’ve left campus for summer vacation, but if you’re feeling anything like I am, there’s already a soft, yearning pain deep within your soul that pulls at your heartstrings and cries out “Hoya Saxa” with the same melancholy nostalgia of Céline Dion in this classic video.

Though you might be happily abuzz with your summer job or internship, and though you might be comfortably lounging in your own bed at home, there are some parts about the Hilltop that might be making you feel a bit, well… homesick. Here’s what I (and probably many of you) miss most about Georgetown over summer vacation:

Seeing Healy every day

There’s just something I miss about returning back to campus at night and looking up to see this:

5112800787_b18f0c7f7b_zOr waking up to this:5639811730_c375e06790_z

And walking to class and seeing this:950_47_John-Carroll-Spring-Tulips-optimized

And it would always make me feel like this:

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I miss eating Wisey’s…

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…and Sweetgreen…

sweetgreen-exterior…and GUGs burgers…images-2

…and Baked & Wired…baked-and-wired-2

And I’m like:

tumblr_inline_mmfu9bTEXk1qz4rgpI miss the Georgetown Waterfront…

georgetown_waterfront

…even in the winter!

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I miss The Tombs.

mainsample

It’s such a great place!

Dining_TheTombsThough I doubt I miss the establishment as much as those in 99 Days Club. Now that they have graduated, they probably feel like this:

Images-article-2012-09-16-channel-ten-glee-crying

I miss Chicken Finger Thursdays…

ChickenFingerChicken

…and brunch!

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And I miss Hoya Basketball…

27529_temple_georgetown_basketball-1

… and Bill “Slick Willy” Clinton!

bill_clinton_yeahihitit

But more than anything, I miss my friends…

sideba

NO! Not those friends. These friends:

beatcuse_medium

See you in August, Hoyas!

Photos: University Registrar, GU82HoyaSaxa, Casual Hoya, Crashing the Goalie, GU Dining, Tombs, Georgetown DC, Capital Spice, Flickr, DC About, Georgetown Metropolitan, Guest of a Guest

Gifs: Tumblr.com

More Than a Tradition: Seniors Reflect On 99 Days Club

99 days

By Allie Hahn and Colm Cross

We had always talked about how we wanted to do 99 Days our senior year, the annual contest where seniors are challenged to go to The Tombs and get a drink or bite to eat every day for the last 99 days before graduation.

We had heard the stories, seen the plaques and wanted to be a part of the tradition. What we didn’t know was what 99 Days would become and what it would ultimately mean to us.

Firstly, we didn’t know that 99 Days actually turned into 133 days for us. We have been to The Tombs every day since the end of Christmas Break, or for 95% of those days. We’ve made that trek from Burleith to the corner of 36th and Prospect every day (mostly nights), minus five days for spring break and four for Easter. On nights when our friends happen to be at The Tombs before us, we will receive confused texts or calls. It is simply expected that by 11:30 p.m. each night, Allie and Colm will be sitting at the bar, side-by-side. So, we must ask, “Why?” Why have we spent countless hours and (yes) thousands of dollars there?

To really understand why we go each and every day — not for a soda and not for a single drink to just check in — you have to see The Tombs as something more than any old restaurant or bar. The Tombs is home. It’s home from the moment we greet the doormen to when we’re sitting at the bar chatting with the bartenders, and it’s home when we say goodnight to everyone after close.

The Tombs is full of amazing, fascinating individuals with whom we have grown close over this past year. We have formed friendships with people we otherwise would have never gotten to know, people who we now go to The Tombs just to hang out with.

The Tombs is where we’ve gone to celebrate friends’ birthdays, successes in or acceptances to school, job offers and victories in soccer or trivia. We have gone there to have a drink after a long day of hard work. We’ve watched and celebrated as the basketball team achieved unthinkable success and subsequently shed tears at the bar after that loss in the tournament. Even on slow nights when we’ve casually stopped by, friendships have been formed, laughs have been had and memories have been made. This is the magic of The Tombs. Each night can bring new experiences and each visit is completely unique. We even brought our parents so they could understand why we spend so much time there each day. And they do. They see how special The Tombs is, and how it really is more than just a bar.

So, for us, our motivation for being in the 99 Days Club was not simply to have our names immortalized on The Tombs wall — although that is pretty great. It’s about the memories we’ve made, the new friendships that have been started, the old ones that have been strengthened and the countless good times we will never forget. 99 Days is about the people, the experiences and the fun. It represents the coming together of everything our senior year has meant to us — all wrapped up in a single semester. And as the school year comes to a close, with graduation just a week away, we are now realizing that saying goodbye to The Tombs might be just as hard as saying goodbye to the friends we’ve made throughout our years at Georgetown.

21 Ways You Know You’re About to Graduate from Georgetown

21 ways you know
There are only three days of classes left (if we’re really counting Georgetown Day as a day of class), and for the Class of 2013, this is a bittersweet fact. Some of the seniors on The Hoya pushed through their sadness to compile this list. We salute you, seniors. So here it is, the “21 Ways You Know You’re About to Graduate from Georgetown”.

1. You no longer get lost in ICC…for the most part

2. Graduating high school seems like a primitive time, thousands of years ago.

3. You actually get mad at yourself for sleeping through a class because there are so few left.

4. The phrase “Class of 2017” makes you feel 10,000 years old.

5. You could (slash have done) the 2 a.m. walk to and from Tuscany blindfolded and blackout.

6. You start missing Leo’s unless you’re a S.E.A.L. (senior eating at Leo’s)

7. You say to yourself, “there was a one keg limit? Missed that these four years.”

8. You’re rocking gym clothes at Tombs

9. SWUG life has completely taken over

10. You tell every GAAP kid, “If I only had four more years to do it again”

11. You know what Philly P is (and still think it’s better than Tuscany).

12. You pour one out for our fallen friends: Saloun, Guards, Thirds, and Hook.

13. You know your liver is prepared for Senior Week because you survived Snowpocalypse

14. You could clothe a small country with the collection of free t-shirts you’ve accumulated over the years

15. You constantly get asked the worst question in existence, “So, do you know what you’re doing after college?”

16. The idea of Lau 2 now makes you nauseous.

17. Rhino feels like a daycare center for toddlers.

18. You get sad on the inside when you realize you never have to register for classes again.

19. You won’t have the opportunity to use Classy from The Corp.

20. “Half-Price Wine Night” at The Tombs is essentially etched into your Google Calendar.

21. The fact that tomorrow is your last Georgetown Day is killing you from the inside out.

Think we missed anything? Leave it in the comments below!

WINNER – MARCH MADNESS: The Best of Georgetown

FI march madness winner

After weeks of voting, many heated matchups and some exciting upsets, we at The Fourth Edition are proud to announce that we do, indeed have a winner!

In the Final Four battle between Hot Chick, The Tombs, Georgetown Day and Bill Clinton, there was no clear frontrunner.

In the end, Georgetown Day triumphed over The Tombs by a small margin to clinch the title!

Incidentally, Georgetown Day is only eleven short days away! So be sure to read up about this famous Georgetown tradition.

bracket final winner

Unhappy with the outcome? Well, March Madnesss will be back next year with new regions and new matchups. See you then!