Alternatives to Ted Cruz’s Escape Plan to Cancún

When the massive snowstorm hit Texas, the state had to deal with many catastrophes, such as power outages and food shortages. While Texans were struggling to stay warm and safe, what was Sen. Ted Cruz seen doing? He went on a plane to go to Cancún, hoping to stay at the Ritz-Carlton. Out of all the things he could’ve done to escape to the resort, he decided to wear a Texas state face mask, making him easy to catch.

Here are some things Ted should’ve done to make it to Cancun without being seen:

Get a private jet

I mean come on, why would Ted go on a United flight at the Houston airport when he knows there will be a crowd of people ready to take a video if they see him? With his privilege, renting a plane should not have been that hard. Although I am not a celebrity, at least I have the brain cells to figure this situation out.

Get a disposable phone

This one should’ve been easy: Go to Walmart, get a Blackberry, text to friends and family about the getaway from that phone, and smash it up into pieces and throw it into the Gulf of Mexico, obviously. As a “Gossip Girl” fanatic, I thought Ted could pull a Gossip Girl move because why wouldn’t he say “XOXO, you know you love me” to his constituents?

Hire a doppelgänger

Rumor has it that each person has two doppelgängers somewhere in the world. However, Ted Cruz is special. He has a handful of look-alikes in the United States alone. Kevin Malone from “The Office”? Definitely looks like Ted. Mrs. Doubtfire is 100% related to Ted. He has this great network of Ted Cruzes in the world but doesn’t take advantage of it. Smh my head.

I bet you’re thinking, “Wait, which one is the real Ted Cruz?”

Get a K-Pop Makeover

This one is my personal favorite. Why wouldn’t anyone want to look like they’re a part of BTS or Blackpink? Of course, these groups will not support Ted pretending to be one of them, but I’m just putting the idea out there. Ted could really get clear skin, color contacts, and new metallic hair color.

Should Ted have even gone to Cancún in the first place? Absolutely not. But, if anyone is thinking of escaping from reality unnoticed and safely making it to your Ritz-Carlton suite in the future, then these four tips will definitely come in handy. You have my word.

The Most Important Questions of the 2016 Election

Banner - Candidate QuizIt’s that time of year again! With all the primaries and campaigning going on around the country, election season is in full swing. For the political fanatics, it is indeed the most wonderful time of the year.

Many questions are asked about each candidate in order to see who is most fit for office. Topics ranging from foreign policy to health care come up in the famed debates that Georgetown students faithfully watch (and argue about) in the HFSC. While some students tear each other apart on subjects, the rest of us just sit here like:

Fortunately, we at 4E know what the people want. On that note, we are going to combine all those “important” questions by playing a simple game: WOULD YOU RATHER?. This will give you an idea of the candidates with whom you identify most closely, and thus can help you decide whom you should vote for in November. Note: this quiz does include candidates who have failed miserably dropped out of the race.

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/charlie29/would-you-rather-presidential-candidate-edition”]

Photos/Gifs: images.google.com, giphy.com, wordpress.com

Jamming With Presidential Candidates

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After Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Marco Rubio announced their candidacy, 4E started doing thorough research so we can tell you all who to support on Election Day. We scanned a few “Ready for Hillary” Facebook posts and read a cbsnews.com article called “Five things to know about Marco Rubio” for some reliable information. #listiclesinformthemasses

The last “thing to know” about Marco Rubio was that “he speaks the language of younger voters.” Fun fact: he knows what a meme is and listens to Tupac and “Straight Outta Compton” by N.W.A.! Even though “Straight Outta Compton” was released seven years before I was born and Tupac died the year after, Rubio is still listening to rap music so he must be super hip.

As much as I was thrilled to find out that Marky Mark Rubio is down with the youths, I was mostly excited to hear that he has decided to share his love for music with the world.

That’s right, Marco’s got a Spotify playlist! His name is marco_rubio and he’s about to lay down the jams with a playlist called “What I’m Currently Listening To.”

It’s actually not bad. Our favorites are “Pumped up Kicks” by Foster the People, “Feel so Close” by Calvin Harris and “Changes” by our friend 2Pac.

4E enjoyed Marco Rubio’s favorite hits and we feel like we’ve learned a lot about the man – not just the candidate – by jamming with him.

Marco is a bit ahead of the game as no other candidate has shared his or her musical preferences on Spotify. So now 4E is calling on all of the candidates running for the presidency in 2016 to create a Spotify playlist for all of the “younger voters.”

The other candidates might not have as hip taste as Marco, but we’re sure they listen to a few songs we could work with. Either way we’d like to hear what pumps them up and get “turnt” with Hill-Dawg, DJ Cruz and Rowdy Randy.

gifs/photos: imgur.com, howiecarrshow.com, photobucket.com