The Tinder of Cherry Blossoms?

tinder

It’s that time of year again. Spring is in the air, the birds are singing and millions of 8th graders and tourists descend upon DC like college students to free food and random puppies.

Me when I see a puppy on campus

Unfortunately, all these tourists go to one of two places: the line at Georgetown Cupcakes, or around the Tidal Basin, looking to take pictures of the beautiful cherry blossoms during peak bloom.

Although the cherry blossoms at the Tidal Basin are world famous, and rightfully so, the hassle of being trampled by wanna-be-photographers and people of all ages wielding selfie sticks makes it hard to enjoy the beauty.

Luckily, a new web app, called Cherrypicker, has come up with the solution to your flower-related woes. Cherrypicker will take your location and direct you to the nearest cherry tree, allowing you to have a personal photo op in your own neighborhood, without the risk of being aggressively shoved into the Potomac.
 For some strange reason, dcist has labeled the app as “the Tinder of cherry trees.” The only thing the web app has in common with Tinder is that you swipe right to find directions to the nearest tree, but the comparison has left 4E with some important questions: how would a Tinder with cherry trees actually work?

1. There would probably be lots of profile pictures of the cherry trees reflected in the Tidal Basin. It’s the next best thing to mirror selfies.

2. Some birch trees will masquerade as cherry trees in an attempt to lure you to their location.

3. The ugliest tree in the picture of five trees will be the tree whose profile you’re looking at.

4. You’ll probably be forced to send several messages in a row and become irrationally angry since cherry trees don’t have thumbs to type responses.

5. You finally match with a cherry tree that you eventually realize was the same one you matched with during last year’s peak bloom. Awkward.

While having a cherry tree Tinder is probably not a great idea, you should try to see as many cherry trees as you can during DC’s most beautiful few weeks. Whether you brave the crowds at the Tidal Basin, or check out some of the more underrated spots for cherry trees, like Dumbarton Oaks, take the time to enjoy one of DC’s most unique and beautiful features- just please leave the selfie stick at home.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr, famousdc.com, https://washington.org/, wikimedia.org

Selfie Sleuth

selfie

The selfie: a  present day representation of our generation’s narcissistic attitude.

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Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge selfier. Ask any of my snapchat friends, they’ll back me up.

One of the biggest reasons for a selfie is the background you get to capture. *Cue every girl who took a selfie with the Eiffel Tower abroad.* The selfie is the perfect way to take a picture of yourself in front of something without having to ask someone to help you out.

The downside of selfies? Selfies are prone to selfie-overlookers, the people who see a selfie happening and, more often than not, judge the selfier.

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Georgetown has one of the prettiest campuses in the world, so naturally there are a plethora of selfie opportunities. Since all Georgetown students are crazy busy, these selfies are usually ruined by selfie-overlookers. I know that a good amount of my Healy selfies have been foregone because someone gave me a look that instilled major fear.

So how do we fix this major issue?

Introducing, the secret selfie. A selfie so secret, you will never feel judgement again.

This is an art, to say the least. The secret selfier needs to be cunning, observant and ready at any moment. You never know when the right moment selfie moment will strike.

To demonstrate, I went undercover to take the best secret selfies at Georgetown. Because if I can do it, there is no reason you can’t!

*Note: Selfies are taken at my favorite places on campus, which are not the norm.*

1. Lau 2: The key here is to take advantage of the midterms stress and commiserate with everyone. Honestly, how epic is this selfie? 7 people were in it and not a single person was judging me. #score

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2. Regents 4: Selfies in Regents are particularly difficult because of the bright lighting and large quantity of science-loving people. You can’t see it, because I was selfie-ing so quickly, but there are like 7 people in the background who didn’t see me.

IMG_05943. The Construction Zone: Living in Henle, my life is characterized by the construction that surrounds me. The fake leaves that cover the fence are basically my best friends. Also, this picture was taken during the busy rush times between classes. Legendary.

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4. Darnall: Darnall was my first home at Georgetown and I am basically starstruck every time I pass it. I couldn’t see anyone in the windows, but I only hope that no one was looking/judging me from there!

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5. 36th Street: One of the best places on campus, Tombs. Even though I am not part of the 21+ club, that doesn’t mean that I can’t selfie part of the 99-days club. Also, how perfect is this picture? Not a single person or bouncer in sight! (Note: time and date of this picture is irrevelant.)

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Basically, selfies are awesome and you just need to go to random places on campus to take them without feeling selfie-shamed. Snap on, my friends.

Photos/Gifs: youthconnectmag.com; wired.com; buildforsearch.com; Courtney Klein/The Hoya

DFMO or Dating?

datingadvice

We here at 4E excel at a few things… like channeling our inner Beyoncé, partaking in debauchery and giving dating advice, allegedly.

Word of that last area of expertise seems to have reached our readers, as we received a letter from a seemingly distressed freshman in desperate need of our guidance. Hopefully our response will be enough to help her navigate the many trials and tribulations of being a freshman looking for l-o-v-e, love.

Hey 4E,

I’m writing to you because I need your advice, like really badly. So there was this guy, let’s just call him “Steve”, in my Problem of God class last semester who I totally liked. He definitely looked like Bradley Cooper combined with Ryan Reynolds, but he was also super sensitive like Ryan Gosling. Anyway, I think he was super into me too because he used to sit next to me in class every time we had a reading quiz. I’m pretty sure he really wanted to talk to me, but he was definitely just too shy to make a move.

So fast forward to last weekend. I decided to go out with about 15 of my closest friends because we heard this crazy party was going on at Brown House. We made sure to get there around 10:30 p.m. so we could get in before it got way too crowded. All 15 of us got in no problem though because my roommate’s sister’s friend was the bouncer and was totally psyched to see us at his party. The party was so much fun and so #college that I had to document as much of it as I possibly could on my SnapChat story. I was trying to take a selfie with all my friends (should have brought my selfie stick, rookie mistake) when I saw Steve across the room. “Shake It Off” started playing, and I knew this was my chance. Long story short, things got super crazy because Steve and I totally DFMO’ed at Brown House!

Now, here’s my problem. I’m really into Steve and clearly he’s really into me, what should I do?! I just feel like we need to talk about what happened and define this relationship. My friends think I’m overreacting to this DFMO, but I think Steve could be the one … especially because my tour guide told me 60% of Hoyas marry other Hoyas.

Please help me 4E!

Lovestruck Freshman

Dear Lovestruck Freshman,

First off, your friends are obviously crazy because you’re definitely not overreacting! In fact, you might even be under-reacting. If you really think Steve could be the one, then you’ll definitely want to define things before he finds another girl to DFMO with next weekend.

There’s a few things you can do to ensure that your relationship is defined before it gets to that point. First off, I suggest you send him a Facebook relationship request as soon as you can. Nothing clears up ambiguity quite like this direct approach, plus Steve will really appreciate your willingness to take control of the situation.

While you wait for him to inevitably accept your request you should take it upon yourself to stalk him on every form of social media back to 2007. Bonus points if you can find his old MySpace page! You’ll want to know everything you possibly can about Steve to prove just how dedicated you are to making this relationship work. Try not to get jealous when you see old posts about his 7th grade girlfriend, she was so 2008 anyway. Next, figure out which dorm Steve lives in and where he has class so you can casually wait around for him and ask why he hasn’t responded to your Facebook relationship request. Let him know that you really want to clear things up regarding your Brown House DFMO and make sure he knows that you really see a future for the two of you.

If this approach doesn’t work and Steve ends up thinking that you are certifiably insane, then he obviously isn’t worth your time. Go ahead and cry over a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, because they’re the only boys you need in your life anyway!

Love forever,

4E

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Disclaimer: This letter is entirely fictional and does not reflect the views of any Georgetown freshman. Also, we’re really bad at giving advice.

Photo/Gif: imgur.com; affordablepsychicreadings.com