You Seek, We Write: The Hilarious Search Terms That Lead to 4E

Search TermsWell, hello there 4E readers. We here at the blog would like to think that our incredibly informative and entertaining pieces fill the voids of readers desperately searching for a way to brighten their day. Believe it or not, there are many ways Fourth Edition readers come across the quirky abode that is our website. Some viewers come from The Hoya website. Others arrive through our Facebook promotions, and quite a lot arrive from search engines.

Now, you might be wondering, what do you have to type into a search engine to end up on 4E? Well, thanks to our site statistics, we’ve tracked it and figured it out. And for your reading pleasure, we’ve compiled a list of our favorite searches that landed Google users on the pages of our blog. So next time you are soul searching on the World Wide Web, try typing in one of these stellar search phrases so you can see the best of what we have to offer. (Or just bookmark our site and go there.)

Georgetown-Burnetts-1“How to drink hot cinnamon flavored vodka”

As with many things life, questions cannot be simply boiled down to the why. They must also include the how, and we at 4E are here to guide you through those difficult decisions by providing a vast array of choices and advice that will hopefully lead you to answer to that question. Our variety of articles including how-tos, different drinking games (many of which are themed) and recipes will help every Hoya spice up a social gathering.

Wait a second, did someone say spice up? That’s right, this search phrase featured none other than then the highly contested, frequently talked about, hot cinnamon flavored vodka! Never forget that Hoyas help Hoyas when venturing into new territory, so we are always here to help.

“Surprised Patrick”

Some things are better seen than heard. Surprised Patrick’s face expresses feelings a Hoya can experience several times throughout the day. Like when there are no treadmills free at Yates, the pasta line is non-existent or the Internet is working in a dorm room.

“Calories in Thomas Sweet ice cream”

At 4E, we like ice cream, too! But to be honest, we don’t know the answer to this one and we actually don’t want to. Here’s a link to the Thomas Sweet website, though, just in case you dare to find out.

tumblr_mt60vbyJfw1s8shk6o1_400“Honey Boo Boo”

Perhaps the greatest thing about Honey Boo Boo (and clan), is that she is never too shy to say what she is really thinking and never too humble to declare her accomplishments loud and proud. Whenever you are having a bad day, turn to Honey Boo Boo and 4E and remember that if we both exist and everyone is still smiling, you can make it through, too.

“Are you supposed to say your name in a card for your Secret Santa”

With any holiday season comes gifts, often in the form of fun games involving secrecy. Hoyas have asked us for sage advice to the question, “Are you supposed to say our name in a card for Secret Santa?” Well, we have consulted significantly on this issue and ruled that secret is secret only if it is secret. Therefore, a resounding yes. But keep it a secret.

“Georgetown rat problem”

Yes, there is a bit of a rat problem here at Georgetown. We know. But really, the infestation is all just a matter of outlook. On one hand, you can think of our rats as disgusting, foul, disease-infested vermin. Or, on the other hand, you can think of them as just another friendly, diverse addition to the Hilltop community who happen to appear at night. Like armadillos. And who doesn’t love armadillos?

As you can see, those who stumble upon the Fourth Edition have quite the array of Internet searches. Some are looking for answers to practical questions. Some need a sympathetic story or a light-hearted laugh. Whatever the reason, 4E is always here for you in your time of need. Keep reading and keep asking the most of us, Hoyas!

All We Want for Christmas is This Way to Search for Classes

Search for classesClassy is a super convenient and – more importantly – super chic way of choosing classes during pre-registration. But now that pre-registration and pre-registration completion are done and I am looking forward to actual registration, add/drop period, post-registration, registration post-game and late-night registration, I’m feeling a bit like a Monday morning quarterback. I got into a few classes I wanted, mostly because I actually added alternative classes this time (oops, I was a hopelessly confused freshman this summer). Still, I’m on the waitlist for probably ten classes, and I’m trying desperately to avoid the Intro to Philosophy class I’m scheduled for because I watched my friends cram for that final and I’m just not down for that kind of stress. Also, a big thank you to everybody for taking all of the Intro to Ethics classes. I wanted that.

I just feel like I could be slightly better off than I already am. And as a true Hoya, I only want the best for myself. For that reason, 4E has compiled a few ideas that could improve our search for the perfect class. Here are some search options we would enjoy immensely:

1. Famous/Georgetown-famous professors We want Madeleine Albright and we want her now! We also want that-guy-who-everybody-talks-about-and-whose-class-is-a-transformative-experience-but-we-can’t-remember-his-name-right-now. You know the one I’m talking about.

2. Easy-A professors Sometimes you just need that one class to slide through. Some second semester seniors need five of those classes. Either way, we want to search for that easy A.

3. Funny professors A professor with a sense of humor can make an 8 a.m. or a ridiculously late Friday class way less painful.

 4. Jesuit professors teaching this semester Wait. The 4E already did this for you. You’re welcome.

5. Most interesting classes to fulfill our gen-eds This is for the student who doesn’t want the average Georgetown experience. You’re so alternative.

6. Classes where we’ll meet new friends FRANDS! Let’s get social!

7. Classes where we’ll meet our one true love/a beautiful person we can stare at and will at least keep us awake in a warm, dark lecture class Call me, maybe.

8. A class with no final It’s a happy thought to realize summer awaits us at the end of this semester, but nothing would make us happier than skipping right from Georgetown Day all the way to the beach. Or maybe the Potomac, because the beach is far away. But the Potomac is gross. Yeah, we’re going with the beach.

9. A class that will change our lives A life-changing class would be pretty cool, I guess. Go ahead, blow my mind. I dare you.

10. Any combination of these There’s a combination option on the Classy search, but I have no idea what it does. It should do this.

I know this seems impossible; sorry for asking so much of the world. (But, seriously, The Corp, take notes. If Classy adds this, I will love you more than life itself.) We may not have a magical search bar (yet), but it’s important to remember that our classes will probably still be quite incredible. After all, we go to Georgetown! Hoya Saxa and Merry Christmas!