The influential and notable entity of The Fourth Edition hereby declares a petition to end the epidemic of texting and walking (otherwise referred to as “twalking”) currently plaguing our beloved campus, indefinitely, commencing February 5th. There are myriad reasons you should consider joining our movement against “twalking”:
1. Basic human decency.
This should go without saying, but, if you need an authority figure to remind you why you shouldn’t text and walk, here you go:
2. Your safety.
Distracted mobility is dangerous. In 2016, the number of pedestrians killed by motorists because they were distracted jumped by 16 percent!
3. The environment.
The world is beautiful and, at the rate we are going, it may not be this way for long. It is crucial that you look at the grass and leaves while you can.
4. Public health.
Just going to leave this here for you…
Now, what to do if you catch a “twalker” in the act:
1. Walk directly in their line of movement.
They will either crash into you or correct their path while maybe becoming aware of their wrongdoing.
Did you know there is no law on the books against yelling? You can just do it whenever, wherever.
Alas, maybe you look at your phone as a coping mechanism for your social anxiety. Maybe you just like to irritate every other person walking in front of, beside or behind you. Don’t worry. You still have options.
If burying yourself in your phone makes you feel more comfortable as you move about the world, perhaps try a disguise. Sunglasses, big hats and scarves are all good options for avoiding people you know and staying hidden to people you don’t.
2. Disguise 2.0
Maybe you’re the opposite. You twalk because you like to be obnoxious. You could try this. People might actually enjoy it more than your distracted stumbles.
Or, if you’re looking for something a little more subtle, maybe try a mask.
Please join our movement and spread the word. Together we will create a safer world.
– Your friends at 4E.
Photos/Gifts: giphy.com, facebook.com, youtube.com, npr.com