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My Daguerrotype Boyfriend

procrastinators guide

While you may be looking for summer love in the typical places, summer jobs, the beach or local bars may come to mind, I’m turning to the place I love most to find my dream husband – history. “History?” You say, “How can you turn to history for romance?” Well tumblr blog My Daguerrotype Boyfriend is a good place to start.

My Daguerrotype Boyfriend features a unique collection of early daguerrotype and tinotype photographs with a common theme – really really ridiculously good looking subjects. The site describes itself as “where early photography meets extreme hotness” and I’m certainly not gonna argue. Some of the entries are familiar faces like Fredrick Douglass, Harry Houdini or F. Scott Fitzgerald but most are regular Joes whose names are all but lost to history. It sounds like the beginning of a cheesy romance novel. If that book doesn’t exist, I call dibs on writing it. After browsing their archives I have concluded that there are a lot of really sweet mustaches, pimped out military uniforms and strong jawlines that prove that some beauty really is timeless.

If these guys were around today, I know for sure that they would do well at Rhino on Friday nights.

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The Fluffington Post

procrastinators guide

So you’re a news junkie, constantly checking for the next breaking story instead of doing, y’know, work stuff.

All that doom-and-gloom news can start to weigh a little heavy on your mind, so it’s good to throw in some light-hearted fare, and there’s no site quite as perfect for that as The Fluffington Post. Billing itself as “The #1 news source for breaking news and investigative journalism FLUFFY ANIMALS,” the Post is the ultimate source of cute animal pictures and hard-hitting news stories like “Puppy is nervous about first day of day care” and “Cat and Dog kiss on a dare.”

If you have one animal in particular that fills your heart with joy, they have tabs to sort out Puppies, Kitties, Bunnies, Birdies, Rodentia, Menagerie and, my personal favorite, Petflix! You’re even able to submit your own pictures and stories to spread some cute to the entire world.

So take a break from Huffington, and turn instead to Fluffington. You’ll thank me later.

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The Procrastinator’s Guide to the Galaxy: McSweeney’s Open Letters

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Well, Hoyas, that’s all she wrote. Not only has everyone finished classes for the school year, but everyone (in the Class of 2013) has also graduated. You might be thinking that you no longer have anything to procrastinate about, but I – along with this esteemed writer – completely disagree. You merely can shift your procrastination into its summer form, and without the stress of classes, you now have more time to do it!

For example, you might want to procrastinate on your summer reading. You might want to procrastinate on applying sunblock before going outside (though you should still apply it, because it is very good for your skin). You might even want to procrastinate putting on pants and leaving your bed in the morning … and you can because it’s summer vacation!

And what a better way to procrastinate on your summer activities than by reading McSweeney’s Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond? We’ve had our fair share of open letters here on 4E (like this, this and this), though it’s safe to say that the hilariously outrageous letters on McSweeney’s put our snarky antics to shame.

Like who could resist this complaint to Jif? Or this one about the lifestyles of the newly graduated Hoyas? No matter which you choose, you’re set for gold.

Happy summer procrastination, Hoyas!

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The Procrastinator’s Guide to the Galaxy: Free Rice

My dear Hoyas, we hope your Easter Break has been all that you dreamed it would be but let’s face it, we’re only running from the debacle that will begin when we resume our coursework next week.

People are always throwing the word “Procrastinator” around with some sort of negative connotation. Why should we be ashamed of our lifestyle, especially when the time spent delaying work could be used for something more productive, like saving the world? Alas, we provide you with a meaningful distraction that will make you feel honored to join the ranks of the Procrastinators. If you have that paper looming over your head, log on to FreeRice.com and start making that difference in the world! The site is filled with many questions of different subjects, from literature, humanities, and language learning to chemistry, human anatomy, and math. For every question you answer correctly, the UN World Food Programme donates 10 grains of rice to areas around the world dealing with struggles of chronic hunger.

So why start on that lab report when you could be answering questions to alleviate world hunger? Not to mention, many of the questions are very easy and will restore your self-esteem to its original state before you began college.

Well, there you have it: avoiding productivity with productivity. However, if you’re looking for something completely and utterly unproductive and a total waste of time, check this out.

Enjoy the rest of your break and good luck!

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The Procrastinator’s Guide to the Galaxy: Doggelganger

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Spring Break is soon, but those pesky midterms are sooner. So what better way to prepare for one last academic exhibition than spending a couple hours looking at dogs on the internet? Or better yet, looking at dogs that look like your friends … on the internet!

Without further ado we present to you Doggelganger.com, a stunning waste of technology dedicated to matching your face to a dog’s. For those of you who have ever wondered what breed your roommate would be or are hoping to someday adopt a pooch with a matching pout, this is the procrastination destination for you. Here’s how it works: you  take a picture with your laptop camera or upload one from your computer, send it through the matching software, and then share the results to your little heart’s content via the twitmachine or Facebook. Easy! Fun! Not physics homework! Note that this is no Emergency Compliments; after getting paired with a chubby bulldog three times in a row you might find yourself re-evaluating why you spent Valentine’s Day with Ben and Jerry.

The best part about this procrastinator’s dream is that all the dogs used by the site are up for adoption, so if you fall in love with a puppy that looks like you (this seems a little narcissistic but we won’t judge), you might just be able to adopt yourself a new best friend (though not if you’re a freshmen in the dorms; just start with a fish, kids).

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The Procrastinator’s Guide to the Galaxy: Awkward Family Photos

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What better day to procrastinate then on the Sunday of a three-day weekend? You still have tomorrow to write that paper or study for that midterm so put away the work and focus on doing absolutely nothing. We at the Fourth Edition are happy to provide you with another weekly installment of The Procrastinator’s Guide to the Galaxy to get you through the day.

How embarrassing is your family? Are you terrified when your parents come to visit during Parents Weekend? Do you shamelessly try to hide them from all your friends? Are you absolutely convinced you just had to be adopted?

Not to worry fellow Hoyas. You’re not alone. But, trust me, it could be worst, and, if you don’t believe me, check out this assortment of awkward family photos. I mean, this could have been your family’s Christmas card. Or this. Even worse, what would you do if these people were your parents? There is an array of different albums from pets to grandparents so have fun for the next few hours!

Do you have a family photo so awful that it just needs to be shared? Make sure to submit it to AwkwardFamilyPhotos! What more would you want then for millions of people to see you in your absolute worst?

Have a happy Sunday!

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The Procrastinator’s Guide To The Galaxy: Whoogles

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Hey there, Hoyas! I would say happy Sunday, but chances are most of you are very “tired” and aren’t feeling too happy about all of the work that you let pile up for today, or your midterms that are just around the corner.  Since we at The Fourth Edition understand that doing nothing is often a much more enticing option, here is another installment of The Procrastinator’s Guide To The Galaxy!

Have you ever entered a Google search that embarrassed you? One that you couldn’t quite believe you were typing into that search bar?  Maybe it was after a long night out, and you were stuck googling “How to get (insert stain) out of (insert: carpet, clothes, shoes, etc)”.  Maybe you were Web MDing some strange symptoms that you or a friend came down with. Or maybe a heated debate amongst friends resulted in you being elected to search for a random, yet disturbing, bit of trivia.  Whatever the cause, in the Internet Age where a laptop or iPhone is always in reach, these utterly ridiculous Google searches are inevitable.  However, this week’s procrastination website should leave all of you embarrassed searchers feeling much better about yourselves.

Let me present to you the world of Whoogles. The website name comes from the age-old question “Who Googled that?” Believe me, in all of these cases, it is a very valid question.  Whoogles takes a closer look at the “Suggested Search” bar, revealing some very startling uses for Google.  Very innocent searches (for example: type in “can I m”) leaded to suggested questions that no one should ask (“can I milk my hamster?”).  Enjoy procrastinating, get a few laughs, and get over your embarrassment for having to Google “how do I get pee off of my shoes”.  Who knows, next time you are using Google to research for a paper, maybe you will stumble on some “whoogles” of your own.

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The Procrastinator’s Guide to the Galaxy: Emergency Compliments

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Why hello there, Hoyas! Whether you are up and studying for midterms or still recovering from your weekend, we’ve got you covered with another weekly edition of The Procrastinator’s Guide to the Galaxy. Ah, yes, more reasons for you not to think about that seven-page history paper you have due Friday. Fantastic.

Have you ever been in need of a compliment? Maybe you just discovered that the cute boy who you were shamelessly flirting with all weekend has a girlfriend. Maybe you bombed your Spanish test on Friday and have been muy triste about the situation. Maybe you were forced to cut your hair super short because you got a hairbrush stuck in it on Saturday. (Yes, that actually can happen.) But I digress.

Whatever your terrible situation may be, a good compliment can always cheer us up. If you are desperately in need, check out emergency compliments. Not only do they tell you, “Your voice sounds like a thousand purring cats” or, “You’re funny. Like, LOL style”… but you can also received multiple compliments at once by simply clicking the “I still feel crappy” button. Try it out. Even if you don’t need one, because it’s still pretty funny.

Oh and if you’re still looking to “duck” around your homework…check this out. Game changer.

God, I love Sundays.

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The Procrastinator’s Guide to the Galaxy: Starbucks Spelling

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Happy Sunday, Hoyas! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and we know exactly what you’re doing: nothing. You just woke up, you’re nursing a whammy of a hangover and you’re pretending that the mounds of work you have to do for tomorrow don’t exist. You’re probably in denial, surfing all over the Internet and looking at adorable/weird memes and GIFs.

It’s fine — we totally understand. In fact, we’re here to help. Welcome to The Procrastinator’s Guide to the Galaxy, our newest weekly profile of some of the most addictingly strange websites on the inter-web. Every Sunday, check here for the wackiest, tackiest and juiciest sites in the galaxy. You’re welcome.

Have you ever walked into Starbucks, tired and caffeine deprived, and the only thing you wanted wanted was to have a delicious Grande Mocha to get you through your morning? And when you received said Grande Mocha from the hipster barista named Iver, you realized that your very simple name was awkwardly spelled incorrectly on the cup? We know. It happens all the time. This week’s Procrastinator site, Starbucks Spelling, highlights all of the awkward spelling errors from the “inventors of the Frappuccino.” So sit back, relax, keep procrastinating and check out all the messed-up name attempts of Starbucks Spelling.

Photo: Starbucks Spelling