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Things Georgetown Students Spend More on Than a Certain President Spends on Income Taxes

Hoyas everywhere know the struggle of tuition, Flex dollars, Canada Geese (Gooses? Goslings?). Living in Washington, D.C., is costly and drains students’ wallets.

Me, begging my work-study job for extra hours.

In honor of the release of a ~certain someone’s~ tax returns, here’s a shocking list of some items some Hoyas spend over $750 on over the course of a semester, or about 16 weeks.

Wisey’s Chicken Madness (or Hot Chick if you’re feeling ~spicy~)

Certified Wisey’s Fan // Seven days a week // Delicious @%$ sandwich make all Hoyas weak.

A gal can’t survive on Olive Branch grain bowls for every meal! At $8.95, a Chicken Madness from Wisey’s is a staple food in the Georgetown neighborhood (especially if you live in LXR). If you eat one Chicken Madness a day, your soul may thank you, but your wallet definitely won’t.

$8.95 x 16 weeks at Georgetown x 7 days a week = $1,002.40

Cover Charges for a Night Out

College for students 21 and up isn’t complete without some wild nights, right?

Heading out to the bars and hitting the clubs on the weekends come at a cost. With the average cover charge around $30 and many students going out both Friday and Saturday, 21+ Hoyas are looking at nearly $1,000 in costs.

$30 x 16 weeks at Georgetown x 2 nights a week = $960

A Double Room in Darnall

This one may be both self-explanatory and the most shocking. A dorm room in one of the worst dorms in America is expensive af! While Darnall residents (current and former) think of their time in the Dirty D fondly (Author’s note: I was a Darnall resident 2018-2019! <3), it has garnered a certain reputation among students.

For the cost of the room, which you share with a roommate, you’re paying more than four times the cost of some D.C. residents’ income taxes!

$4,398

Canada Goose

A closet staple of the ~chilliest~ Hoyas! Who can forget about this overpriced parka?

Women’s parkas range in cost from $795 to $1,595. Imagine how many properties you could own (or Chicken Madness sandwiches you could buy) with that money!

Let’s call it an even $1,000

Yerba Mate

What late night Lau study session is complete without a few cans of the ~Yerbz~ (Author’s note: It’ll catch on, just wait)?

Hoyas can’t get enough of this caffeine-infused tea, and so, at about four cans per day for the ~most avid~ Yerba fans, and about $2 per can if bought in bulk, students are spending to get their fix.

4 cans per day x 7 days per week x 16 weeks x $2 dollars per can = $896

Bribery Paid to the Admissions Staff

$500,000

Keep on ~boosting the economy~ Hoyas!

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Hillary is Coming to the Hilltop

If you’re anything like us here at 4E, you probably freaked out pretty hard when you found out Hillary was coming to campus. I mean, after all, “What Dreams Are Made Of” is a modern classic.

But after watching “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” for the umpteenth time in order to prepare ourselves for what we thought would be the first stop in the 2017 Hillary Duff Comeback Tour, we noticed something a little odd about our email invitations to the event in Gaston Hall on Friday.

The invitation didn’t say Hillary Duff, it said Hillary Rodham Clinton. This couldn’t be.

Last we’d heard, the former Secretary of State and pantsuit-aficionado was lost deep in the woods of Chappaqua, New York with her dogs. We wanted to do something about it, but sending a search team to look for America’s most accomplished grandma isn’t a part of The Hoya‘s budget.

At first, we didn’t know what to think. After months of #FakeNews, we didn’t know if we could even trust our own eyes. But there it was right in front of us.

The Hon. Hillary Rodham Clinton is coming to the Hilltop!

Since the announcement, questions have arisen.

  1. Do we get in line at 3 AM or 4 AM?
  2. Should we wear that old campaign T-shirt we haven’t been able to look at since November 8th without vigorously crying?
  3. Will she mention Trump?
    (Editor’s note: In a perfect world, he would show up at the speech too and they’d have a wizard’s duel à la McGonagall and Snape in “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” over the presidency but hey, we get that that might be asking for a little too much. In fairness though, Healy Hall has always reminded us of Hogwarts.)

Whatever Hillz says, we’re sure it’ll be memorable. Almost as memorable as that time she won the popular vote by a few million votes and somehow still didn’t become president! Hahaha you’re so funny @ElectoralCollege! We’ll never get over that one! #TBT

Oh and Bill, if you see this, feel free to come too. We promise to get you lots of balloons.

Sources: giphy.com, tumblr.com, buzzfeed.com

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Throwback Thursday: Trump’s Presidential Bid

TBT Trump

More than a year ago today, on June 16, 2015, Donald J. Trump, the real estate mogul and reality TV star announced his presidential bid.

Fast forward some thirteen months, during which we’ve witnessed 403 spins of the earth, the development of Pokémon Go, the death of Prince, the continued rise of ISIS and the welcomed emergence of Mac n’ Cheetos, to the past few days… On July 21, 2016, our favorite head of hair to mock and its owner, Donald J. Trump, accepted the official GOP nomination for President of the United States.

Going back to a Mac n’ Cheetos-less time around a year ago, Trump’s bid announcement was met by many a comedic tweet. It is safe to say that since this spike in media coverage, the success of his campaign has come as somewhat of a surprise to many here in America and around the world. Let us go back to that fateful day in June of 2015 and ponder the things we would have thought to be just as feasible as Trump winning the nomination.

We would colonize Mars. While seemingly unlikely, this idea isn’t too far-fetched. Rumor has it: kids are already in training to be the first astronauts to go… or maybe this is just the making of the next Punk’d. Sound familiar?

A video game would infiltrate time and space.  Again, unlikely, but not unwarranted. To the surprise of parents and even global political leaders, Pokémon Go has made getting outside and playing video games at the same time a possibility.

Pigs would fly. While it may be physically impossible for pigs to grow wings and take off flying, it is likely that at some point today, a live pig will be on an airplane.

Britney Spears would make an unparalleled comeback rising to the top of the charts and maintaining her position as World Pop Idol for 100 days. This too, could happen.

Rather outlandish for sure, but not outside the realm of possibilities. There are many things we thought more feasible than the rise of Donald J. Trump. Moral of the story: Continue to think out-of-the-box, and before you know it, your dream/nightmare may very well become reality.

 

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, www.cnn.com

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The Most Important Questions of the 2016 Election

Banner - Candidate QuizIt’s that time of year again! With all the primaries and campaigning going on around the country, election season is in full swing. For the political fanatics, it is indeed the most wonderful time of the year.

Many questions are asked about each candidate in order to see who is most fit for office. Topics ranging from foreign policy to health care come up in the famed debates that Georgetown students faithfully watch (and argue about) in the HFSC. While some students tear each other apart on subjects, the rest of us just sit here like:

Fortunately, we at 4E know what the people want. On that note, we are going to combine all those “important” questions by playing a simple game: WOULD YOU RATHER?. This will give you an idea of the candidates with whom you identify most closely, and thus can help you decide whom you should vote for in November. Note: this quiz does include candidates who have failed miserably dropped out of the race.

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/charlie29/would-you-rather-presidential-candidate-edition”]

Photos/Gifs: images.google.com, giphy.com, wordpress.com

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President West Is in the Building

1406292260If you watched the VMA’s Sunday night, then you would know that a certain Kanye West announced his candidacy for president. Not for this cycle, of course, because that would be too mainstream. No, Kanye has taken the admirable track of announcing his presidential candidacy in 2020. You can never be too ahead of the game!

This blogger decided to spend her afternoon contemplating what a Yeezy 2020 presidential run would look like. Final conclusion: It will be awesome. Why, you ask?

  1. All his campaign songs are Kanye songs.

In recent years, there have been controversies in which artists denounce the candidates playing their songs at political rallies (for example, Tom Petty sending Michele Bachmann a cease-and-desist; Tom Scholz of Boston asking Mike Huckabee to stop using “More Than a Feeling” a t his events; etc.). Kanye would definitely not have this problem. Expect to hear “Touch the Sky” for that inspirational flair, “Homecoming” at the inevitable Chicago campaign rally and probably “I Am a God” at some point. Kanye is not subtle.

  1. Unreal debates.

It’s hard to speculate who Kanye will be competing with in 2020, but just imagine what he would be like in this cycle’s debates. “Imma let you finish Bernie, but New Hampshire is the best state in New England of all time!” “Donald Trump says he’s rich, but having money isn’t everything [but having it is].”

  1. Excellent (?) public speaker.

Kanye has had more than a little experience speaking to a wide audience, with mixed results. There was the classic Taylor Swift debacle of 2009 (6 years ago? How old do you feel right now?), his supremely awkward Today Show interview with Matt Lauer and, my personal favorite, “You ain’t got the answers Sway!” Look out for campaign speeches that mix non-sequiturs with Kanye’s dreams for America, and plenty of gif-able moments from news interviews.

  1. A breath of fresh air – sartorially-speaking.

Do you ever get bored of seeing the presidential candidates wearing their navy or black suits/pantsuits? Good news! There is a 99% chance that Kanye will show up to at least one campaign event in his crystal face mask.

Trendy!

  1. An amazing running mate.

If he defies all logic and earns his party’s nomination, we’re in for a treat. Imagine a ‘Ye-Jay ticket (“Watch the Throne” is a political party, right?). Or ‘Ye-Bey. It’s too bad that Paul McCartney isn’t a US citizen because after the success of their recent musical collaborations. Who’s to say Kanye and Paul can’t make a great political team, too?

Political poster waiting to happen.

#Yeezy2020

Images/Gifs: theodysseyonline.com, Tumblr, telegraph.co.uk, vevo.com

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This GUSA Race Is Madness!

The past few weeks have been a storm of information about the upcoming GUSA elections. We have watched the campaign videos, played the drinking games and dissected each campaign’s graphic design skills. But in the midst of it all, there has been growing support for a candidate unlike the rest: Chicken Madness.

Chicken Madness and his once arch-rival Hot Chick have decided to run together for GUSA president and vice president. The campaign started a few weeks back when a mysterious man by the name of Jack Wisemiller sent many Georgetown students a Facebook friend request. In the time it took for every freshman to ask his roommate, “Did we meet a Jack Wisemiller at NSO?”, the Facebook account had already gathered hundreds of friends and followers.

The reason for Jack Wisemiller’s Facebook? To spread the word about writing in Chicken Madness and Hot Chick on GUSA election day! I was a little shocked when I heard the news. I thought to myself, How could two undeniably delicious sandwiches run our student government? But after some serious contemplation and soul searching, I have discovered some qualities about this dynamic duo that every potential GUSA president and vice president should aspire to.

5 Great Qualities of Chicken Madness and Hot Chick 

1. They can motivate the student body 

Whether you are running on the track at Yates or studying in Lau on a Saturday afternoon, nothing keeps you going like the idea of a Chicken Madness. If it weren’t for this Wisey’s classic, no one would get anything done. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard, “Alright, 20 more minutes of reading and then I’m hitting up Wisey’s!” Keep it up, Chicken Madness.

2. They are (uniquely) committed to diversity

In any political race, candidates pay close attention to the role of diversity among the people they wish to represent. The Chicken Madness and Hot Chick pair are truly diverse. Chicken Madness, a savory grilled chicken delicacy, is there when you need comfort food. Hot Chick, on the other hand, is a spicy chicken tender sub that never disappoints. Those are some diverse flavors if I say so myself.

3. They have a sick campaign slogan

Chicken Madness and Hot Chick

“Two sandwiches… One Georgetown.” That slogan is tough to beat.

4. They unite the students at Georgetown

Whether you live on or off campus, Chicken Madness and Hot Chick bring people together. As you stroll into Wisey’s ready to pick up your delicious Chicken Madness or Hot Chick, you can run into just about anyone. From that study buddy you crammed for finals with last semester to that freshman roommate you lost touch with over the years, you can always bond over your love for a good ‘ole Wisey’s sandwich.

5. They can’t knock on your doors

Enough said.

Photo: facebook.com

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An Interview with Jack DeGioia

Today, the Washington Post ran a special interview with Georgetown President Jack DeGioia, who talked about his style of leadership, the challenges the Hilltop currently faces and his goals for the university’s future. Here’s a peek at what President DeGioia had to say:

09.06.11news-flickr-degioia-editThere is no substitute for face-to-face encounters. This year, I will deliver about 230 speeches to a mostly Georgetown audience of one size or another. Probably most important for me are a regular series of town halls were I report out on the issues, challenges and progress to date and take questions from the members of our community. We’ve also tried to use social media in a way that enables us to reach a broader audience. We have found Facebook to be particularly effective to share some of the activities that I am personally engaged in and that characterize what the university is doing.

 For the full interview and more, click here, and be sure to share your thoughts and reactions with us in the comments section below.

Photo: wamu.org
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The Syverud Betrayal

SYVREUD

Here’s a quick list of things Hoyas should never do:

Step on the seal (most people avoid that entrance to Healy all together).

Speak ill of any of the West Wing characters (but there’s nothing bad to say anyway).

Fail to pick up a copy of The Hoya every Tuesday and Friday (they’re all over campus, so it’s kind of impossible).

Become the President of Syracuse University (PSH, like anyone would do THAT!)

—–

Wait, what’s that you say? Someone did that last thing? A Hoya, Kent D. Syverud, (SFS ’77) was just named the 12th Chancellor and President of Syracuse University?

This could be considered the ultimate betrayal by some, but we at The Fourth Edition are hoping that Syverud is secretly a double agent, hoping to infiltrate deep into the Syracuse University infrastructure.

We all know that the Georgetown-Syracuse rivalry is one that will not be quelled simply by a shifting around of conferences, and we hope it will remain alive and well with a Hoya at the helm of the Orange forces.

Good luck at the new job, but we’ve got our eye on you.

Photo: The Washington Post

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A Word from POTUS

File Photo: Chris Bien/The Hoya

by Beth Garbitelli

You can’t watch the NFL Playoffs every night, I guess. The State of the Union address provided some quality primetime viewing on the otherwise non-event Tuesday night television schedule and we hope you tuned in. Why? Well, because it kinda sorta might have been the most important speech Mr. Prez has given in quite some time.

Continue reading “A Word from POTUS”