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Places to Eat at 2 AM Now That Wingo’s Is Gone

My time at Georgetown has not been without its fair share of tragedy.

Hillary lost the election. Quick Pita closed. Chi Di (allegedly) shut down. Leo’s has (somehow) remained open. My GoCard picture turned out terribly. Hot Chick/Chicken Madness lost the other election. JT3 was allowed to coach a Division I basketball team. I once accidently made eye contact with a professor on a weekend. And Jack the Bulldog has straight up ignored me every single time I’ve asked to take a picture with him. To say the least, it’s been a rough three years on the Hilltop.

But none of these calamities could have prepared me for the news that broke on June 26th, 2018. As I’m sure you know by now, our beloved Wingo’s has burned down, and its soon-to-open new location is much further away. My first inclination was to write a eulogy that encapsulated what this little restaurant meant to a certain young Hoya who possessed a special love of both chicken wings and the ability to eat chicken wings at 2:00 a.m.; however, I had to abandon that plan when my tears started making it too difficult to see the laptop screen.

But because I am a professional journalist, I will work through the profound pain of this loss in order to write the type of hard-hitting article I know our readers have come to depend on from 4E. So, without further ado, here is a definitive guide of Places to Eat at 2:00 A.M. Now That Wingos is Gone.

Epi  

(Open 24/7)

If you love the feeling of hating yourself in the morning, Epi is the place for you. Their famous quesadilla is a classic choice, and the fries and onion rings are solid options as well, but I am also a big fan of “accidentally” stealing somebody else’s order and just eating whatever it is they decided to get.

Hoya Snaxa

(Technically only open until 1:00 am but whatever you get the point)

If you don’t die from walking downhill to get there, Snaxa is a pretty solid late night choice. Nothing says “Thank God my parents don’t know what their tuition money is really going towards” quite like using your GoCard to buy Cool Ranch Doritos and Cucumber Juul Pods in the early hours of the morning.

Mono Diner

(Open 24/7)

Do you remember that time freshman year when you DFMO’d at a Henle party and then the next week you started feeling gross and tired all the time and then you started panicking because you couldn’t get an appointment at student health for over a month? Have you ever wanted to relive that exact experience but while eating food at 2:00 am? Well look no further than Mono Diner. Located across from the CVS on Wisconsin, Georgetown’s newest 24-hour diner looks pretty good from the outside, but I just do not understand the name choice. Eat with caution.

Muncheez

(Open until 4:30 am)

Muncheez is a conundrum. Much like GUSA or attending a Georgetown basketball game, it has the potential to be great, but always ends up being disappointing in reality. It’s fine. Not good. Not awful. Just fine.

Quick Pita

(Closed forever)

Domino’s 

(Open until 3:00 a.m.)

Delicious (of course), but now that Chi Di is gone, you’ll probably never have a reason to walk on Prospect Street at 2:00 a.m. ever again. Delivery is fine I guess, but it doesn’t run as late and cheesy bread is really meant to be eaten at those blue plastic tables in the store. Why does The Neighborhood of Georgetown find a way to ruin everything we love?

&pizza

(Open until 4:00 a.m.)

Do you like spending more money for pizza that is less delicious and less filling than Dominos? Take the stroll down to Wisconsin Avenue for an overpriced rectangular pie at &pizza.

Bulldog Tavern

(Open until 2:00 a.m.)

Do you like waiting an hour and a half for cold mozzarella sticks? Then Bulldog Tavern is the place for you!

Wisey’s

(Sadly only open until 11:30 p.m.)

It is absolutely baffling to me that Wisey’s closes at 11:30. p.m. It has a prime location near campus and its sandwiches are tailor-made for those whose standards have been lowered after consuming a few adult beverages. If anybody reading this has enough influence to change Wisey’s (’s ?) hours (@JOHNDEGIOIA, @BILLCLINTON, @THEWISEYSRAT) please contact 4E ASAP. I really need for this change to happen in time for my senior year.

So there you have it. A few late-night options to fuel your late-night shenanigans.

This Article is in Loving Memory of Wingo’s (2002-2018). Gone too soon. RIP to the GOAT.

Sources: giphy.com, youtube.com, pinterest.com, wingos.com

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15 People Sexier Than Blake Shelton

If you haven’t heard, Blake Shelton was recently named the Sexiest Man Alive. We here at 4E are unsure if it’s just us, or if everyone else also has trouble seeing what People Magazine and Gwen Stefani see (look below for reference).

To try and get some perspective on this confusing choice, here’s a list of 15 people we think are sexier than Blake Shelton:

  1. The pizza in the above gif
  2. Amanda Bynes
  3. The Wisey’s Rat
  4. Jack the Bulldog
  5. Bill Clinton
  6. Todd Olson
  7. Josh Peck (pre-not inviting Drake Bell to his wedding)
  8. Patrick Ewing
  9. Amanda Bynes in “She’s the Man”
  10. The Dad from “Drake and Josh”
  11. Jack the Bulldog on a skateboard
  12. Kim Kim (we still miss you on the panini press)
  13. John DeGioia
  14. Todd Olson in full convocation garb
  15. Bradley Cooper

We at 4E simply cannot fathom how none of these fine options preceded Blake Shelton. People Magazine, we urge you to take into account this definitive list before choosing your ~Sexiest Man Alive~ next year.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tvguide.com

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What Does Your Drunk Food Say About You?

After a night of drinking, we all crave that midnight, or rather, early morning snack. What does you go-to drunk munchie say about you? Let’s find out.

1. Pizza

https://gph.is/1PNOBKg

You are a lazy, yet consistent, drunk eater. You attack a slice of street pizza head on, no knife or fork; just you and your cheesy mess. Or maybe you call your local pizza place for delivery. This place knows the sound of your voice and probably already has your order programmed. You think you’re friends with these guys, but don’t be fooled. Remember, Tony the Pizza Guy just wants your money, not your friendship.

2. Wrap/Sandwich/Burrito/Gyro

https://gph.is/1L7tJ0g

You are a sophisticated drunk. You know where the OPEN late night food is and you guide all your friends to its deliciousness. You have also mastered the art of eating with both hands while intoxicated. Sometimes you may even advance to the next level: eating and walking while intoxicated.

3. Fries 

You’re a sharer. Maybe not by choice, but certainly by your order. When you ordered fries you agreed to the silent promise to allow everyone “just one fry.” Ordering fries comes with a lot of positives too. You often escape the feeding frenzy cleaner than you were before and probably with new friends!

4. Cereal 

You have either made the responsible decision to cut back on drunk food spending, cut back on your waistline, or your actually trying to go to bed before 1 AM. We all know that drunk food adds up in dollar signs, calories or an extra hour to your night out. Whether you’re saving money, avoiding greasy late night food or trying to get some shut eye, you’re taking the Drunk High Road. Congrats!

5. Healthy Food 

Get out! Healthy food doesn’t even count. Did you even go out? Or did you just have a glass of wine? Either way, you have enough wits and self-control to make yourself a healthy late night snack like carrots and hummus. Your friends may give you the stink eye when you decide to head home and eat an apple, instead of stumbling to that late night diner. However, you’re the real winner as you will probably wake up the next day with only a mild headache and a healthy stomach.

images/gifs: giphy.com 

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9 Reasons Why We Love The Farmers Market

Banner - FarmersAh, Wednesdays. It’s a special type of day… not only because we’ve gotten through half of the week, but also because our generous university has gifted us with the deliciousness that is the Farmers Market. Here are nine reasons we are in love with it – is your favorite on the list?

  1. That Incredible Pizza

The Timber Pizza Company hits it out the park every time. You can get an amazing wood-fired pizza that’s classic cheese, pepperoni or veggie/pesto-style. Any way you order it, the pizza is so fresh and delicious that no one would judge you if you got right back in line for another.

2. It’s Not From Leo’s
Let’s face it, you need to avoid it at all costs a break once in a while.

3. Churros. Stuffed. With. Nutella.
Quite honestly, there’s little to nothing I would rather have right now. The name says it all.

4. Rita’s To-Die-For Crepes

They start out with the perfect crepe, and from there you can go savory or sweet – or both!

5. The Dumplings
Pinch’s handmade Chinese dumplings will never let you down. As my official go-to farmers market meal, I highly recommend these little pockets of perfection.

6. Melties

The combination of warm cookies and ice cream will make you want to cry the happiest tears of joy.

7. Swizzler’s ~Gourmet~ Hot Dogs
I said gourmet, right? I’ll bet you haven’t had a hot dog this fancy in your life. So do yourself a favor and treat yo’ self.

8. The Ambiance
You gotta love the happy, heart-warming atmosphere on Copley Lawn every Wednesday. Break out that picnic blanket, grab some friends and get out there!

9. You’re Slowly Becoming More Of An Adult

What? Is that you buying fruit and bread for breakfast, carrying around grocery bags, and providing for yourself? Props to you, you fully functioning adult!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, gufarmersmarket.org

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ITAL 101 Study Guide

Banner - Italian 101Scary newsflash. Classes are winding down in the next few weeks, and that can only mean one thing: finals (and a lot of ice cream and late-night Epi runs). In case you’re already feeling overwhelmed by this impending doom, 4E is rolling out the ultimate study guides to help you prepare for your finals. If you’re trying to do bene on that Italian exam, read up to see whether or not you’re ready:

Section 1: Listening Comprehension

Nothing is more intimidating than having to listen to babbling in a foreign language at what seems an incomprehensible speed, whether you think you have an idea of what he/she is saying or not. The best way to practice for this section is to listen to an authentic Italian speaker and try to write down what you hear them saying. Try it out:

Answer Key: “Babba-da-boopy” (translation: unknown)

Section 2: Vocabulary

How can you learn all of the vocabulary at the last minute? You can’t! Instead, your best hope is to learn the basics:

“Il Pesto” (Translation: the pesto)

“Gli Spaghetti” (Translation: the spaghetti)

“La Pizza” (Translation: the pizza)

See: it’s really simple! If you need more help than that, try reading a menu at an Italian restaurant (note: they tend to have an abundance of mistakes). If all else fails, just add an “o” or an “a” to the English word and you’re probably halfway right.

Section 3: Speaking

pizza talking

The key to being an effective Italian speaker is remembering that all communication is done with your hands. Know American Sign Language like the back of your hand? You’re already prepared to ace this section!

Section 4: Identify as “Italian” or “Not Italian”

This section tends to be pretty tough, so get some practice below:

ragu

No… it’s not

boyardee

LOL no

Not even close

Eating too much pasta doesn’t make you Italian

DING DING DING!!!

Last but not least: in bocca al lupo (translation: in the wolf’s mouth, or “good luck”)!

Photos/Gifs: pngimg.com, giphy.com, tumblr.com, venicecafechicago.com, onedayinitaly.com, classictic.com, wikipedia.com

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The Five People You Meet at a Super Bowl Party

superbowl-party

With the Super Bowl fast approaching, it’s probably time that you start finding a place to watch the Pats and Seahawks battle it out.

Super Bowl parties are awesome because you get to eat a ton of delicious greasy food, drink endless amounts of beer and watch TV. I mean even the commercials are fun to watch. At most Super Bowl parties, there are always the same characters in attendance.

Here are the five people you meet at a Super Bowl Party:

1. The Super Fan. This guy is rowdy and ready to go. He’s got on the jersey of his favorite player and if someone disturbs him, well it just won’t be pretty. You probably don’t want to be in close proximity with this person as they may suddenly jump up and start yelling at the ref. I guess, we should just let him do his thing because his passion can never be tamed.

2. The Provider (of food and beer of course). This person is always behind the scenes and rarely sitting on the couch.  This person is essential for a successful party because they are the ones that just keep whipping out food.  Hot wings, cheese dip, ice cold beer, taquitos… You name it, they are cookin’ it up.

3. That one guy who roots for the “other” team. Yeah, you know this guy. He is the one that gets all offended when you diss his team.  He is the one person at the party in the wrong colors. I mean, we should not bag on this guy too much. He is passionate about his team and hey, maybe you are him.

4. That person who has no idea what is going on, but tries to pretend like they do. This person obviously has not been keeping tabs on their fantasy team or anything football-related all season. They pretend like they know how each team played throughout the season, but they’re bluffing and everyone knows it. This guy should just sit back and be quiet.

5. The Commercial Connoisseur. They are watching the game not really for the game, but for the reveal of the commercials. This person can rattle off commercials from three Super Bowls ago and they have probably watched last year’s Budweiser ad way too many times. They get especially all hot and bothered when the Doritos and GoDaddy ads pop up and cry like a baby each time they see a Clydesdale reunite with his Budweiser loving friend.

So cute!!!

You might think the question is “who will win?”, but in reality it’s “who are you?”

Gifs: Giphy.com; Tumblr.com; https://rpmmultisite.s3.amazonaws.com/

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Punt, Pass, and Pizza

pizza

Attention all pizza enthusiasts, this Super Bowl Sunday, Leo’s is offering you one large pepperoni or cheese pizza for one meal swipe!

That’s right, according to @gtowndining, you can get a whole pizza for one of those meal swipes you’ve been needing to use up. In addition to this great deal is the opportunity to win an iPad mini. If you find a golden ticket in your pizza box, you win! (Note: only one golden ticket will be given out.)

So here is how it works:

First, you must email [email protected] by Jan. 28 at 8 p.m.

In the email, include your choice of cheese or pepperoni and your 16 digit GoCard ID (located on the back of your GoCard, obvi).

Next, pick up your pizza at Leo’s on Feb. 1 between 5 p.m. – 6 p.m. (carry out only).

Don’t miss out on this amazing, cheesy opportunity!

It’s love at first sight!

Photos/Gif:giphy.com, ispot.tv

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5 Snapchats You Definitely Got This Weekend

Weekend Snapchats

Picture this. It’s Sunday morning and find yourself waking up bright and early rolling out of bed around 11:30 a.m. with a pounding headache. Your Brita pitcher is all the way across the room in your fridge, which is obviously too difficult to get to, so you get back in bed and reach for your phone. It’s 5% charged, so naturally you use your dwindling battery power to check out your snaps and see what everyone else was up to last night. Here’s what you’re most likely to see:

  1. Unintelligibly Screaming Girls:  You have absolutely no idea what these girls are all screaming about, but they clearly seem pretty distressed. Was there a spider? Did Starbucks suddenly stop serving their specialty holiday drinks? Oh wait, they might just be attempting to sing “Blank Space” at the top of their lungs and horribly off-key. Either way, it’s too early for this much noise so you skip to the next snap before your eardrums burst.
  2. With Bae: What exactly is bae? Sometimes it’s a significant other and sometimes it’s Eat & Joy pizza, it all depends on who you ask. This snap with either remind you just how single you are or — more realistically — how quickly you could devour an entire pizza at the moment.
  3. #SoCollege: Some people just want to remind you that they’re in college, you know in case you forgot or something? That’s why they take every opportunity they can to document the #mostcollege things they see to send you over Snapchat. Vat of mystery punch? Crowded Village B dance party? Casual DFMO at Brown House? Basically the epitome of #College.
  4. “Havingtoook mcjh funnn”: This Snap will most likely be a selfie of someone who looks like they’ve been having a little too much fun all night long. You’ll crack a smile when you see this one and give yourself a little pat on the back because you’re probably having a better morning than this friend.
  5. Netflix Night: You’ll open this Snap and instantly dislike whoever sent it to you. While your friend may have captioned it “Night in!”, they might as well have written “Haha hope that headache doesn’t last all day!”. Forget about giving yourself a pat on the back as this snap serves as a reminder that you still have to write two essays and study for three midterms.

After looking through a few of the Snaps you received, your phone dies so you decide to crawl back under the covers. Waking up before noon is too difficult anyway …

Gifs: tumblr.com; Photo: thoughtcatalog.com

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Is Tuscany Reopening?

tuscany back

Ha. Good one. We wish. But now that you’re here, you might as well read up on the place that is now inhabiting the prime real estate Tuscany Cafe once held.

Nearly a year later, those of us who remember its glory still mourn the loss of Tuscany. Once hailed as a comforting haven for drunken Hoyas craving cheap pizza at 2 a.m., Tuscany quietly shut down in the summer of 2013. No one can really be sure of the reasons why it closed and never reopened, but one thing we can be certain of is that it is never coming back: A new owner has finally claimed the space that Tuscany left behind.

Lady Camellia is a pastry and tea shop that actually opened a few weeks ago, but only recently began serving tea. They offer an impressive array of baked goods, ranging from tea cakes to croissants to macarons. The decorations for the place are overwhelmingly pink and gold, reminiscent of what the Washington City Paper calls “a six-year old’s tea party fantasy.”

Do you remember when this was a place filled with ravenous students ordering pizza they weren’t ever going to remember eating?

With its prime location, Lady Camellia is poised to become the next hottest brunch spot. And with tea and scones? It doesn’t get much classier than that. So instead of heading down to 3261 Prospect at night for delicious, savory, unhealthy pizza, you now have the option of heading there in the morning and enjoying an extravagant brunch. You can always get your obligatory drunken pizza at the food truck.

Photo: Washington City Paper; Alexander Brown for The Hoya
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Alternatives to Tuscany

tuscany

We must all bow our heads for a moment of silence for Tuscany’s. Given their recent closing (potentially temporary?), I’m sure that those of you on campus are in need of a new late-night snack place to wind down after your nights of debauchery in D.C.

Look no further! 4E is here to help with some alternatives for your munchie needs.

Eat & Joy (1204 34th St NW) – Stop by for some cheap late-night mediterranean food! Great after a night on M St.
Mon – Thu: 11am-11pm
Fri – Sat: 11am-12am
Sun: 11am-11pm

Quick Pita (1210 Potomac St NW) – Open even later than Eat & Joy! Great for after those longer adventures.
Mon-Wed, Sun: 11:30 am – 3 am
Thu-Sat: 11:30 am – 4:30 am

Bistro Francais (3124 M St NW) – A delicious and classy late-night place. Complete with full bar and a great menu.
Mon-Thu, Sun: 11 am – 3 am
Fri-Sat: 11 am – 4 am

Epicurean (If you don’t know where this is…you probably don’t go here) – Will be open 24/7 come the fall, but here are the summer hours! Especially convenient for you Burleith-dwellers.
Full bar open until 2 a.m.
Full restaurant closes nightly at 10:30 p.m., limited food options available after 11 p.m.
Restaurant will close completely only from late Sunday night to early Monday morning.

Amsterdam Falafelshop (2425 18th St NW) – The ONLY way to end a night in Adams Morgan!
Mon, Sun: 11 am – 12 am
Tue-Wed: 11 am – 2:30 am
Thu: 11 am – 3 am
Fri-Sat: 11 am – 4 am

Julia’s Empanadas (1221 Connecticut Ave NW) – A great way to end a night in Dupont! Be sure to try the chorizo, you won’t regret it.
Mon: 10 am – 11:30 pm
Tue-Sat: 10 am – 2 am

None of these can fully replace Tuscany’s in our hearts (and stomachs), but hey, a Hoya’s got to eat!

Photo: Steven Piccione/The Hoya