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Friends Knowledge is Important

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This is a real first paragraph of a real majority opinion published at the close of a real D.C. Circuit of the U.S. Court of Appeals case.

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Judge Janice Rogers Brown, who penned the opinion, explains in the next paragraph how the sitcom applies to her case about a D.C. school director’s fraud and the federal government’s seizure of school property. Apparently, the Fed excluded the SunRise academy from the director’s criminal case saying that it could appeal for its property in a third party forfeiture proceeding. When SunRise tried this, the federal government said SunRise was barred because of information that was exposed in the criminal case they were excluded from.

Basically: “heads the government wins and tails SunRise loses.”

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Brown seems to think that Rachel’s coin toss was #notcool and neither was the federal government’s decision.

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Whatever, Rachel. You know that coin toss was lame.

The moral of this story is that you should stop studying and get on with Season Ten, Episode 5, “The One Where Rachel’s Babysitter Babysits,” because Friends knowledge is more important than Econ Stat knowledge.

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info: Buzzfeed.com, cadc.uscourts.gov
Photos/Gifs: unabashedlypoetic.files.wordpress.com, tumblr.com, weminoredinfilm.files.wordpress.com 

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Friends: A Retrospective

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It has officially been over a month since Friends took Netflix by storm. One month, and so much has changed.

Here is the deal: Ten seasons + 236 episodes + 6 friends = The destruction of my social life.

*Note: I haven’t finished the show yet, but I am well on my way.*

While I think that I have lost all connection to the outside world because of this show, I gain some sense of solace in knowing that everyone (well, everyone who has their priorities in check) is going through the same thing. It is an addiction and a real #struggle.

 So what have I learned in the last month?

1. Dating within friend groups is an amazing idea, until it really isn’t. But, if you keep going for enough seasons you will achieve a kind of bliss.

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2. Always make it clear if you are or are not on a break. You don’t want to start up that fight… again.

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#teamross

3. Jobs aren’t important, you can go a season without a real job and no one will question it.

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4. “How you doing?” is the only pickup line you ever need. Even though it will work only like 1/3 of the time.

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5. Getting divorced 3 times in 10 seasons is not only allowed, it is encouraged. Despite this, you actually will find love.

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6. Smelly cats can provide the inspiration for the best songs. But actually, what are they feeding you?

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7. There will always be that extremely annoying person who will actually NEVER GO AWAY. No matter the year, the time, the place or the person, they will find you.

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8. Neighbors are forever. But if you stare at them from your window long enough they will move away. TBT ugly naked man.

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Have I watched too much Friends? That’s my business. Are you judging me?

tumblr_lkixwwFaw01qc9z2jo1_500 Remember, friends who watch Friends together are better friends.

See you on Netflix.

Photos/Gifs: news.com.au; tumblr.com; giphy.com