Top Five Reasons to Join 4E

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By now, you should have heard of the Internet sensation that is sweeping the nation (ok, maybe just Georgetown): The Fourth Edition! And today is your lucky day, because we’re hiring. So if you love writing, have a weird affinity for guac, an unhealthy obsession with cats and/or don’t mind taking the risk of peeing your pants because you’re laughing so hard, then we want YOU. If you’re still not convinced, here are a few more reasons you need to apply.

1. You will receive instant new best friends… and we are AMAZING. If you don’t join, you’ll be left with #nonewfriends. No one wants that.

2. Looking at GIFs all day instead of studying becomes “research.”

3. Conducting ridiculous photo shoots across campus is not out of the question.

photo shoot
THIS COULD BE YOU

4. You’ll become part of a prestigious campus tradition… Well, sort of.

5. THERE WILL BE SNACKS. Because without snacks the world would be a really, really sad place.

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So if you’re still on the fence… well, that’s just impossible. And luckily for you, you have until Jan. 16 at 5 p.m. to apply! So grab your laptop, bring your sass, channel your inner Beyoncé and get writing! To join Georgetown’s craziest club, all you have to do is apply here.

And be sure to join the Facebook event for all the application information!

Photos: memecrunch.com, Emma Holland/The Hoya; Gifs: gifwave.com

Survive the Wrath of SuxaNet

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The Internet has really, really, really sucked lately. Really really sucked. Get the picture?

Here at 4E we know the importance of good, strong WiFi so…

Here are some tips to help you survive:

Handwrite letters and coerce freshmen or frat pledges into delivering them by promising lifelong friendship.

Train a carrier pigeon. Step-by-step instructions can be found here. 

Actually use books for your research instead of online sources. We have a library, despite how soul-crushing it is.

Make decisions without first consulting a Buzzfeed quiz. Even though that is theoretically impossible.

Construct an elaborate zip-line system connecting your windows to your friends’ (Village C to McCarthy or Harbin, Copley to Village B, Darnall to Henle, Kennedy to Reynolds) so you can pop in and share news and cool things without using Facebook messenger.

Stop Facebook stalking your exes and crushes… this is probably a good habit to get into anyway.

Disclaimer: I realize the irony of publishing an article online with tips of how to survive the plague of the slow Internet. It is my sincere hope that SaxaNet (aka SuxaNet) shows mercy on 4E and allows you to load this page (and the pigeon instructions) before it goes under completely.

Godspeed my friends and let the WiFi always be with you.

Photo: https://technology.msb.edu/helptopics/macosx/