To the Misunderstood Majors

It’s that time of year again, when a whole new cohort of sophomores sets out to choose which major they want to cry over for two more years. Each department picks out its best outfit and lines, naive enough to think they’ll have a chance of beating government but quickly humbled by the lack of phone calls asking for a second Leo’s date. Don’t worry, this stops today — this is a list made for all of the majors pushed aside and hidden from the limelight, like a freshman in Darnall. This is for you: 

To Classics:

You may be ancient, but you have aged like fine wine. A true classic beauty that some would even say resembles the likeness of a Greek god. Given a little consideration, students will Rome in flocks to meet you on the third floor of Healy — to heal your broken heart. 

To American Musical Culture: 

You’ve been a little bit out of tune, huh? Don’t worry — no one noticed with your great composer. Always remember, you AmeriCAN get those prospective newcomers. 

To Linguistics: 

You may need to work on your communication. Once you learn to not overanalyze, the conversations will seem a lot less daunting, and I alphaBET you’ll be number one!

To Theater and Performance Studies: 

We know you don’t play around, so it’s no act when we say you hold a special place in our hearts and deserve all of our props. The talent you craft is a gift curtsy of your amazing faculty, tied together with the perfect bow. 

To Computer Science:

You’re on this list because you software your heart on your sleeve but are still looking for that someone to find the key to it. Hint: It’s QWERTY. Get ready for the influx of applications and try not to file too many away. They may call the MSBros snakes, but we all know you’re the real python.

To Physics:

In no way are you an absolute zero, but for sure a solid seven and a half. Some stand out qualities: you give off great energy, you care about what matters, you’ve never broken a law, you love a good jam session to “Free Fallin’” and they don’t call you the Big Bang for nothing!

Halloween Costumes for Hoyas From Every School

Fellow Hoyas, prepare yourselves. Spooky szn is descending upon us — and no, I’m not referring to the sudden ubiquity of dead rodents on campus.

That’s right: It’s almost Halloween, and if you’re not interested in frantically scouring the clearance bins of every store on M Street the day before ~Halloweekend~ begins, it’s time to start thinking. Luckily, you have us lovely folks at 4E here to guide you in picking the right costume to impress that cutie from “Problem of God.”

1. For the MSBro:

You’ve been wearing stiff suits every day, Birding from your dorm to the MSB to recruitment events and investment banking job interviews like a maniac. It’s time to let loose, Brad! Shed that Brooks Brothers jacket, kick off your Gucci loafers and go a little crazy. Hugh Hefner is the perfect costume for you this Halloween — comfortable and relaxed, but still on brand.

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This could be you, Chad!

What you’ll need for this costume: A silk robe and preferably some gray hair spray. The pipe optional, but respect that Hugh would never Juul.

2. For the NHS-er:

THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE, NHS. You have the one thing no other school at Georgetown has: scrubs. Go as your favorite “Grey’s Anatomy” character — AKA literally anyone but Izzie — and carry around some lollipops for bonus points. Just be careful not to be too convincing in your costume, or you’ll become the de facto GERMS dispatcher of the night, holding back your friends’ hair near the bushes of Henle Village.

You, breaking it down at the Henle in total and complete comfort as all your friends complain about their costumes being uncomfortable.

When your friend slips on some soda and thinks they broke their ankle, you can put those freshman bio class #skillz to use and tell them to rally!

What you’ll need: scrubs, maybe some lollipops and your charming self.

3. For the SFS-er:

You need the world to know both that you’re in the SFS and that you are ~politically conscious.~ You don’t just get CNN notifications on your phone — you listen to podcasts and read think-pieces as you run from “Map of the Modern World” to “I-Trade” (both of which are SFS core requirements, which the SFS has a lot of, which you have to take because you’re…in the SFS). That’s why for Halloween you should go as the anonymous New York Times Trump op-ed! Intelligence and worldliness with a little bit of ~mystery~ is what you’re all about, and this is the perfect costume to show the world what ya got — and leave them wanting more.

That's REALLY reaching! Online retailer Yandy is selling a 'sexy anonymous op-ed' costume

What you’ll need: This costume exactly (and for people to know you’re in the SFS. That’s the Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service, or SFS for short).

4. The College Kid:

While all your friends in other schools at Georgetown talk about their focus and their requirements and how their school is ~different,~ you have opted for a liberal arts education and greater breadth of majors/paths of study. You can’t be put in a box. Some might even say you … Can’t Be Tamed.

To capture the true variety of the College, grab a few pals from the largest of the undergraduate schools here on the Hilltop, and go as Miley Cyrus through the ages. The theater kid can embrace Miley’s performative versatility and go as Hannah Montana, while your JUPS major friend can be this new hippie Miley who meditates and enjoys her ~greens.~ There’s something for everyone!

What you’ll need: A few friends, some bleach to dye your hair and a readiness to stick your tongue out in every picture.

With these suggestions in mind, go forth and conquer those pre-Halloween costume-picking scaries! And if you’re really pressed and need a scary costume ASAP, write “70k” on a shirt and go as the scariest thing of them all: our tuition. Happy Hoya-ween!

Sources: giphy.com, esquire.com, dailymail.co.uk, savers.com

Which Georgetown School Are You?

og_healy_hallFeeling isolated? No one understands you? Struggling with your sense of self and purpose? Not the smartest kid anymore? Don’t worry, this has nothing to do with your overinflated sense of self being confronted with the real world for the first time. You’re just in the wrong school! Take this easy quiz to find out with 110% accuracy which school you should transfer into, thereby fixing all your problems.

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/thefourthedition10/which-georgetown-school-do-you-actually-belong-in”]

Photos: georgetown.edu

Mr. Georgetown: Who is the Real Prince Charming?

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The Fourth Edition is pleased to present to you, the 2015 Mr. Georgetown Pageant contestants. This year, The Mr. Georgetown Pageant’s theme is Cinderfella and the Disney Princes.

Will they be like this?

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Or more like this?

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You be the judge. Let’s meet the boys:

Deep Dheri- MR. GUGS

Deep

Hometown: Montville, NJ
School: MSB
Major: Finance & Accounting

What do you love most about your organization? The weekly GUGS grill is the happiest part of my week, every week. From rolling the 150 pounds of raw meat to serving the freshman (or senior) who’s never had a juicy GUGS burger, along with all of the conversations and cornhole that occurs in between, makes for a perfect Friday afternoon.

What is your most beautiful feature? My naturally long and voluminous eyelashes.

What is your spirit animal? Duck. I’m cool, calm and collected on the surface but paddling ferociously under the water.

Joe Luther- MR. GUSA

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Hometown: My hometown is River Forest, Illinois. I know because I edited its Wikipedia page one time.
School: What college am I in? I’m in the college.
Major: I am a government major with minors in psychology and sociology, respectively.

What do you love most about your organization? That I can take as many napkins as I want from Chipotle and no one says anything.

What is your most beautiful feature? That my organs all work together like a high school football team before the big game.

What is your favorite song to sing? “The Charge of the Light Brigade” by Alfred Lord Tennyson

Connor Rohan- MR. IMPROV

Connor

Hometown: I’m from Delmar, NY, which is a hamlet in the town of Bethlehem which is a suburb of Albany, NY which is the capital and 6th largest city in New York State. Albany is also known for being one of the least friendly cities in the world.
School: Georgetown College
Major: Government and English

What do you love most about your organization? I love that improv teaches me to flawlessly navigate a testimony before a grand jury without getting caught up in my lies and being sent to prison. Thanks to the Georgetown Improv Association, I’ll never have to pay for my wicked deeds and die in a six by eight foot concrete cell. Thanks, Improv!

What is your most beautiful feature? If Dove advertisements have taught me anything, it’s that everyone is beautiful. It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside. it’s what’s inside that counts. Black or white, male or female, young or old, short or tall, you are beautiful! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! That being said, probably my legs and ass.

What is your favorite song to sing? My band in high school (Rutnik Family Clambake) used to play Whats Up by 4 Non Blondes a lot. We won a talent competition with it once. Very fun song to sing.

Josh Tsung- MR. AASA

Josh

Hometown: Fairfax, VA. But I go home often to the motherland (Taiwan).
School: College
Major: Economics

What do you love most about your organization? I love many things about AASA (Asian American Student Association)- from the events they host to the people in it. The best thing about AASA is that it’s a family- one that brings everyone in as their own, makes you feel comfortable, and creates the culture you want to be a part of when you’re here at Georgetown. Everyone gets along well, jokes around with one another, and we literally do everything together! It’s awesome, I wouldn’t it trade it for the world.

What is your most beautiful feature? People always compliment my butt. But I want to say my most beautiful feature is my smile :)

What is your favorite song to sing? I usually don’t know any lyrics to songs but among the few songs I do know the lyrics to, it’d be a toss up between Wannabe- Spice Girls and Where is the Love- Black Eyed Peas. Anything throwback is a go!

Edwin Lopez- MR. IRC

Edwin

Hometown: El Paso, Texas / Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua (#borderlands).
School: School of Foreign Service
Major: Regional and Comparative Studies between Latin America & Eastern Europe, concentrating on post-violence state development.

What do you love most about your organization? It’s a community of people who love the world! Everyone has a different focus, subject matter, aspiration, etc. I met most of my academic mentors here, and got to participate in fun crisis-simulations, hear ambassadors speak, and be constantly reminded that it is possible to change the world for the better. It was all I wanted Georgetown to be my first few years, and I appreciate the IRC for welcoming me with open arms.

What is your most beautiful feature? I’ve been told it’s my smile, but I rarely look at the mirror and smile at myself, so how about you smile at me next time you’re in Red Square, and I’ll smile back?

What is your spirit animal? Dog (Bichon Frise) – according to the American Kernel Club, the Bichon Frise is “”gentle mannered, sensitive, playful and affectionate,” loves human company, and are bred to be companion dogs.

 

 John Whitmore- MR. NHS ACADEMIC COUNCIL

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Hometown: I come from Cleveland, Ohio! I love everything Ohio!
School: NHS
Major: Human Science/Pre Med

What do you love most about your organization? Margot Keale. And the close-knit nature of our community of students and professors. From dinners with the faculty to unforgettable events like Fall Ball (shameless plug), the Nhs academic Council is always seeking to foster these unique NHS relationships. Over the last three years, my greatest student mentors (see you guys there!) at Georgetown have come from this Council, and I want to make all of them proud next week on stage! We also have a killer ratio that would deff get us into Brown House.

What is your most beautiful feature? My body. A smile that was made for selfies. #georgetownstories. Also, I’m humble as fuck.

What is your spirit animal? Sober: Rusty the Dachshund Rusty the Narcoleptic dog; Drunk: Ariana Grande (or at least I try to be)

Sam Wilkins- MR. RELAY FOR LIFE

Sam
Hometown: Sellersville, Pennsylvania
School: College
Major: Government/Theology double Major

What do you love most about your organization? The people. Through Relay For Life, I have met some of the most passionate, dedicated, and energetic people at Georgetown. From the times I make a total fool of myself at bonding events to the moments when I open up about my Mom’s battle with cancer–I know these people will always be there for me, and will never stop fighting for a cure.

What is your most beautiful feature? My disproportionately large butt…thanks Dad.

What is your favorite song to sing? “Paradise By the Dashboard Lights” by Meat Loaf.

Bryn Bogan- MR. NSO

Bryn

Hometown: Chesapeake City, Maryland
School: College
Major: Government (really original, I know)

What do you love most about your organization? There truly isn’t anything else at Georgetown as uplifting as the Saturday of move-in when you walk around campus and see yourself surrounded by smiling parents and slightly embarrassed but equally excited new students being guided to their residence halls and various other offices by OAs and other NSO staff. Never before have I experienced something in which so many people from various backgrounds and communities on the Hilltop come together under one mission quite in the same way as NSO.

What is your most beautiful feature? I mean, have you seen my hair…?

What is your favorite song to sing? I’m going to cheat and say three: 1) Wake Me Up – Avicii (NSO 2013), 2) Shower – Becky G (NSO 2014), 3) Love Myself – Hailee Steinfeld (NSO 2015)

Rob DePaolo- MR. THE HOYA

Rob

Hometown: New Rochelle, New York
School: College
Major: History major and Italian minor

What do you love most about your organization? I’d have to say I love the people most. Producing a paper twice a week is really tough, but part of the reason I enjoyed it so much is I did it with a group of people I now consider great friends. Working hard but having fun at the same time was hard to do, but we struck a balance and made a lot of memories in the process.

What is your most beautiful feature? I’d have to say my hands. They’re very dainty and smaller than one would expect for my size. It catches people off guard, but they’re still quite elegant. Perhaps, like George Costanza, I could be a hand model.

What is your spirit animal? The river otter is what I identify with — I love a good romp.

Kevin Tian- MR. CLUB VOLLEYBALL

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Hometown: Acton, MA
School: MSB
Major: CS and Finance

What do you love most about your organization? My teammates. We have an interesting arrangement of crazy personalities, but they’re all great guys who know how to work hard, have fun and stick together through tough times.

What is your most beautiful feature? My smile.

What is your favorite song to sing? That changes everyday and depends on the mood, but I’m feling “All I Do” by Majid Jordan at the moment.

Matt Fried- MR. ULTIMATE FRISBEE

Matt

Hometown: Ashland, KY
School: College
Major: Government

What do you love most about your organization? Ultimate was the first family I found at Georgetown.  They’ve always been there for me and always will be.

What is your most beautiful feature? I have an eye of the beholder.

What is your favorite song to sing? It’s tough to beat Gwen Stefani’s classic “Hollaback Girl.” B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Walter Kelly- MR. BLACK STUDENT ALLIANCE

Walter

Hometown: Linwood, NJ
School: College
Major: English and minoring in Film and Media Studies

What do you love most about your organization? I love the strong sense of community that the BSA builds. Meetings are always thought provoking and engaging, social gatherings feel like family reunions and everyone in the BSA knows how to turn up!!!

What is your most beautiful feature? It’s a tie between my creative spirit and my left eyebrow.

What is your spirit animal? James Earl Jones’s voice.

James Davis- MR. RUNNING CLUB

James

Hometown: Gainesville, FL
School: College
Major: Biology (Pre-Med)

What do you love most about your organization? It’s so tough to pick just one thing, but I’d have to say that I love that GRC is open to all levels of ability. There’s no tryout, audition, or application, so it’s open to anyone, and we have some people who come once a month just to hang out with the group, and others who train 6 days a week with us and travel and compete. This creates a really unique team atmosphere that’s pretty tough to beat. It facilitates friendships like no other, and it also reminds a lot of people who may have gotten caught up in the stress of competition in high school how to really enjoy running again.

What is your most beautiful feature? A girl once told me, “Your eyes are like the Pacific Ocean, and I want to swim in them,” so maybe my eyes.

What is your spirit animal? I always have a hard time with this question…I’d probably have to go with a gator. Chomp chomp.

Maurice McCaulley- MR. ALPHA PHI OMEGA

Maurice
Hometown: Huntsville, AL
School: SFS
Major:Culture and Politics (CULPie)

What do you love most about your organization? SERVICE! being able to serve with the diverse DC community has been really rewarding. I pledged because of the service and I stayed because of service and the amazing friends I made.

What is your most beautiful feature? I love making other people laugh! I really think laughing is an aphrodiasic and if more people laughed the world would be a better place. With that, I have a killer smile (as Tyra woudl say I got the smize down).

What is your spirit animal? Hands down, no question: White Tiger…. did you know that white tigers are genetically mutated and while EXTREMELY beautiful they live most days in pain because their brains are too big for their skulls? Beauty is pain, I guess. I feel, just like the white tiger, I am too beautiful for this world.

Neal Chaudhuri- MR. ESCAPE

Neal

Hometown: Arlington, VA
School: College
Major: Biology

What do you love most about your organization? ESCAPE is a place where people ask, “How are you doing?” and they actually want to hear the answer. There is so much less pressure to say “good” or “well,” especially if you are not feeling great.  Freshman year, I thought I had to convince so many people at Georgetown that I had it all together. I didn’t want people to see me as vulnerable or struggling to adjust to this new environment. On ESCAPE, hearing about and connecting to other students’ experiences allowed me to feel less alone at Georgetown. That is what I and all other ESCAPE leaders hope to provide: a place where first-year students can feel vulnerable, feel valued, and can eat as many s’mores as they want. One of the greatest lessons I learned through ESCAPE is that my vulnerability is my strength, and I am forever grateful to be a part of this program.

What is your most beautiful feature? I have a mutant white hair on my right arm. It grows longer than all my other arm hairs.

What is your favorite song to sing? “Lose Control” by Missy Elliott.

Chris Rom- MR. GERMS

Chris
Hometown: Arlington, VA
School: College
Major: Chemistry

What do you love most about your organization? Helping people in the Georgetown community when they really need it is immensely gratifying, especially since I have the privilege to work with the other awesome members of GERMS while doing so.

What is your most beautiful feature? The shining aura of my positivity.

What is your favorite song to sing? GERMS only has a siren song (lol, top joke that Mr. GUSA), which I can’t quite sing, so I have to split between “Shower” by Becky G and “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey, parts of my NSO 2014 and GRC heritage.

Ed Crotty- MR. PHANTOMS

Ed

Hometown:Cleveland, Ohio
School: MSB
Major: Finance and Accounting

What do you love most about your organization? If I had to pick just one thing I’d say it’s how much I’ve learned from other Phantoms. Since I entered the group over 3 years ago I’ve been surrounded by some of the most talented musicians and people I’ve ever met. Becoming close to them has helped me grow so much as a vocalist and has pushed me to become more involved in other areas on campus, and I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. Well, maybe I’d trade it for the Crown of Mr. Georgetown…

What is your most beautiful feature? My doctor once told me that I had a really nice uvula.

What is your spirit animal? My dog, Amber. She’s basically me if I had no inhibitions. And was colorblind. And was a dog.

Randy Puno- MR. CLUB FILIPINO

Randy

Hometown: Manila, Philippines
School: College
Major: Economics

What do you love most about your organization? We eat so much food. Like literally we’re always eating. I cannot begin to imagine how many sacks of rice and cans of spam I’ve devoured over the last 3 years. We eat a ridiculous amount of food. But in all seriousness, Club Filipino is one big family. I can’t imagine my Georgetown experience without my super funny, ultra-werid, and genuinely great group of CF kapatids.

What is your most beautiful feature? Probably my eyebrows, I have been known to make them do the wave at parties.

What is your favorite song to sing? Anything by Walk the Moon.

Spencer Crawford- MR. TRIATHLON

Spencer
Hometown: I’m from a small city called Maumee in the great state of Ohio.
School: School of Foreign Service
Major: I’m studying STIA with a concentration in Biotechnology and Global Health and I’m pursuing a certificate in Religion, Ethics, and World Affairs.

What do you love most about your organization? I love that the captains still consider me a part of the team despite having attended 0 swim practices. Ever.

What is your most beautiful feature? In general, I’m a pretty optimistic person, probably as the result of my mom’s boundless positivity. I’d say my best feature is being able to glean the positive out of almost any situation.

What is your spirit animal? Without a doubt, I am a baboon.

Which prince has stolen your heart? Buy your tickets while you can and be sure to make it to the show this Friday Oct. 9 at 7pm.

[cardoza_wp_poll id=36]

Georgetown-Themed Rejection Lines

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‘Tis the season for love and emotions! Everyone remembers last year when 4E brought you the best pickup lines in the planet. I mean you should, 4E (cough, myself) basically became famous.

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But then… no one used the pickup lines. At least, not on me. THESE LINES ARE GOLDEN PEOPLE, COME ON.

Well anyway now we back, back again. And this time, we are better than ever. Because this time we are giving you ways to reject love. Maybe this will be more applicable to your lives.

4E PRESENTS: GEORGETOWN REJECTION LINES

You are more likely to get an appointment at the Career Center than a date with me.

The prospect of us having a relationship makes me want to run screaming down Prospect.

I feel more alone with you than I do in Lau.

Dr. Todd Olson: doesn’t exist. Your chance with me: likewise.

It’s not you, it’s your Wisey’s order.

You have a better chance of strolling down the Reiss walkway.

Of course I’ll go on a date with you! Meet you at the Georgetown Metro stop tonight at 7!

You are Los Cuates, and I am the police. Shutting. You. Down.

You may have stolen the clock hands, but you couldn’t steal my heart.

Do you know what NHS stands for? Not Happening, Sorry.

Make like JJ the Bulldog and bite me.

This conversation is a lot like the first week of school: NSOver.

Use them on a creepy classmate, use them on your friends. I really don’t care. Just as long as you don’t use them on me.

And remember, if you are #tryna, “let’s be like the cups in Leo’s and stick together” is always appropriate.

Photos/Gifs: eonline.com; tumblr.com