Posted on

4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide: How To Not Seem Like A Freshman

So you’re a freshman, huh? Big fish in a little pond? Think again, young Hoya.

A visual representation of you as a freshman

Being a freshman at Georgetown isn’t always the easiest. On a campus where your worth is sometimes measured by GPA and the clubs you are or aren’t a part of, you may sometimes have trouble keeping your head above water.

Lucky for you, though: The Fourth Edition is here to help! We’ve compiled a list of the ~best~ tips to help you avoid looking like that typical lanyard-wearing freshman on campus. Take a look:

    1. Don’t wear your lanyard. If you’re able to make it to Georgetown, this hopefully goes without saying. It’s totally OK to have your key on your lanyard in your pocket, but please don’t wear it around your neck. I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t actually see it.
    2. Ask “Who do YOU know here?” This just may be the most common saying at Georgetown. Essentially, its 10:34 p.m. on a Friday night, and after cramming into New South 215 for a pregame of epic proportions, you and your freshman squad roll up to a Village A apartment that seems like its pretty awesome. Unfortunately, you can’t seem to locate the friend-of-a-friend’s-brother that said he would let you in to the party, so you get asked “Who do you know here?” Turn it around and ask the question back to them. It’s never been done. If that doesn’t get you in, just give up.
    3. Know your memes. If you want to really learn about something, textbooks just don’t cut it. Knowing the memes are necessary. This means joining Georgetown’s one-and-only meme page on Facebook. Don’t have a Facebook? Don’t even. Take a look at an one of the page’s more notable posts:
    4. Know the terminology. Memes aren’t enough, since Georgetown has its own lingo. If you learn it early, you should have no problem navigating around campus. You’ll even increase your chances of getting into a party and may not get lost in the ICC coming from HFSC after when you’re studying for a BSFS in IPEC in the SFS! If all of these acronyms are foreign to you, for a not-so-complete list of some of the key terms you should use flashcards to memorize before the fall semester arrives, check here.
    5. Do get lost in the ICC. It may sound strange, but this is sort of a tradition, so much so that even as a senior having had a class every semester but one in the ICC, I still manage to turn the wrong way or get lost in this perplexing building every time I (attempt) to enter or exit, and I can confidently say I am not alone. Getting lost in the ICC is a tradition Georgetown students celebrate from the moment they get on campus till the day they graduate, so why not start early?
    6. Sit by yourself in Leo’s. As an upperclassman, I can say that there is nothing worse than the food at when our beloved dining hall is clogged with swarms of freshmen taking up every chair so the entire floor can eat together. You probably won’t end up talking to any of these people anyways in just a few short weeks, so why don’t you try something new, and sit by yourself? Upperclassman won’t be able to immediately identify you as part of that flock of freshman from VCW 6.
      Your entire floor does NOT need to eat together
    7. Do not stand in front of Village A rooftops between the hours of 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. on Thursday through Saturday. Perhaps the most identifiable freshman breeding ground, this locale is nothing but trouble for any upperclassman that happens to pass through. My memory of this area is characterized by several things: salmon shorts, GUPD, vomit, squashed cans of Natural Light and swarms of awkward freshman. Don’t associate yourself with this memory. Stand elsewhere when you’re looking for something to do.
    8. Don’t sit on the statue. Georgetown was founded to honor Leo O’Donovan with a waterfront restaurant for the pursuit of knowledge, not the pursuit of your Snapchat stories. The lighting is never just right for a photo on old John Carroll’s lap, so don’t even waste your time. Plus, getting up there is harder than it looks, so especially in the wee hours of the night, it is just never a good idea.

Granted, these tips won’t work for everyone. On a more serious note, if you’re still struggling with something, chances are, there is someone to help you with that! Take a look at some of the resources Georgetown has to offer.

Catch 4E’s latest student tips in next week’s edition of 4E Declassified Freshman Survival Guide!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, facebook.com, nick.com

Posted on

99 Problems But Jesuit Values Ain’t One

My college career started off to a horrifically basic start. My roommate and I invited new friends to our room before heading over to the Natty-littered Village A rooftops. Word spread quickly of our plan to play pong and party, as thirty sweaty eighteen year-olds flooded my third floor, trash-hallway New South room.

Music was blasting, Burnett’s was flowing and introductions were a plenty; I was having a glorious time hosting new friends. However, in the middle of all-time anthemic banger “Closer,” there was a sudden knock on the door.

My roommate and I were written up for a noise complaint. We had no interest in writing a BS apologetic essay about “disturbing the peace of New South,” and instead wrote a rap about Georgetown’s Jesuit values. The piece, entitled “99 Problems but Jesuit Values Ain’t One,” was required to be spoken to our community director, peers and RAs. And we did it. And we went all in. Please enjoy, much to my humiliation.

99 Problems, but Jesuit Values Ain’t One

It was a Monday during NSO,
We didn’t know how to tell them to go.

Playing music and talking, way too loud,
til the RA on duty came around.

Disturbing the peace with all our brothers,
We were not being men and women for others.

And now we’re ready to apologize too,
By showing our knowledge of Jesuit values.

Cura personalis is what comes first,
Because care of the the person is not the worst.

Now that we’re Hoyas we need some balance,
By being kind neighbors we’ll show our prudence.

Through this rap we will make some penance,
Demonstrating the importance of academic excellence.

Academic excellence thats a must,
Because when you don’t it’s a sure bust.
We’ll have Jack DeGioa up in a fuss,
Going to Lau, getting those A’s, that’s prosperous.

Educating the whole person is essential,
It helps us reach our full potential.

Learning both in and out of classrooms,
Chilling in Lau or even at Tombs.

Here on the Hilltop we’re learning to be faithful,
Between justice and faith we are not hateful.

Rhymes smooth just like buttah,
Holla at St. Ignatius–that’s my brotha.
Came up with Men and Women for Othas,
Taught us values of character just like my motha.

Our bro Brahmanchari taught us inter-religious understanding,
All religions are welcome, each unique and expanding.

Expanded our horizons, went to Buddhist meditation,
Our years at Georgetown aid spiritual formation.

We love Georgetown because of its community in diversity,
It gives us a better world view within the University.

On the third floor we have peers from England, France and Spain,
Friends from far and wide make our lives less mundane.

Our thoughtful discussion after Pluralism in Action,
Brought us closer to diverse peers to our satisfaction.

Loving our neighbors before ourselves,
Helping the staff in Leo’s restock the shelves.

Doing what’s right, owning up to our mistakes,
Being faithful and just is all that is takes.

Teaching us lessons is what Georgetown does best,
Now we know better, we hashtag blessed.

Photos/gifs: som.georgetown.edu, giphy.com

Posted on

The Five Stages of Getting Written Up

In the wise words of Hannah Montana, “Nobody’s perfect.” This timeless adage is particularly true for Georgetown students. Sometimes we make a little too much noise, have a little too much fun and get a little too lit. And sometimes we get caught. For those have been written up, you know exactly what I am talking about. For those who have not, this is what you can expect:

  1. Caught in the Act- Perhaps you were blasting “Closer” a little too loud during quiet hours, or maybe you were caught roaming the halls of New South with an illicit beverage (which 4E in no way supports if you are under 21). Whatever you were doing, you were likely not supposed to be doing it. You know it, and more importantly the RA knows it. Whether you get a knock on the door or you get stopped in the hallway, you better cooperate because God knows there’s no way out of this one.
  2. The Wait- The RA takes down your information and tells you to expect an email from the Judicial Council. What she does not tell you is that it will not come for approximately three weeks. This excessive time period is racked with questions, doubts and uncertainties. What will they charge me with? Will I be expelled? Will this affect my housing points? Was this all possibly some sick joke?
  3. The Meeting- You finally receive the long awaited email accompanied with several charges-a number of which definitely did not happen. You are told to report to the McCarthy Library where you will essentially sell your soul to a community director and, for some reason unbeknownst to you, that kid in your calc class. Get ready to bring out the tears, you’re gonna need them.
  4. The Wait Part 2- You finish the meeting and they tell you to expect another email in a week. A WEEK? I mean seriously, how long does it take? I swear they do this for dramatic effect. Just rip off the band aid people.
  5. Punishment- Your fate has arrived. You find out you only actually received half of the charges you were initially charged with (#blessed), but you also learn you have to take an online course, pay a 50 dollar fee and complete several hours of sanctioned service hours. 4E will ~cash you ousside~ picking up trash in the Georgetown neighborhood for the next two weeks!

While we here at 4E hope this never happens to you,  we are glad we have prepared you for this trying process. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Posted on

4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide: Dorm Perks

Banner - Dorm PerksAt this point in the summer, every freshman’s parents are probably crying every day – partly because they are facing the dreaded empty nest, but mostly because tuition is due. You aren’t crying though, because you’re ready to be a Hoya, and Hoyas aren’t allowed to cry (except for in Red Square, the free speech zone on campus).

mom cries

In any case, you probably have a lot of unanswered questions. 4E has answers, in our latest installment:

***4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide***

cookie lol
So you don’t look like this ^

Today’s topic is Freshman Dorm Room Perks. Every freshman dorm has different perks, and it’s important to know what they are so you can manipulate and take full advantage of your ~friends’~ rooms.

cooper wink

New South: No, your radiator definitely doesn’t heat the room, but did you know it doubles as a table? In most rooms, the front shell of the radiator pops off easily. Lay it across two chairs to make a table sturdier than the ones at our dining hall. Gold medalist water pong players always have humble beginnings.

Bonus: Your room has its own sink! Close the drain and fill the sink up with water. Plop a goldfish in there and voila: you’ve got yourself an aquarium.

VCW: The AC system here is surprisingly functional. Forgo the mini-fridge purchase; you can literally turn your room into a walk-in refrigerator if you set the temperature accordingly. In the rare case that your AC breaks, you can set your shower to extreme temperatures – simply turning it on can change the temperature of your room in just minutes.

freezing

Bonus:  In the case you don’t like the people who live directly below you, just flush the toilet (if you’re lucky, their room will fill with sewage).

Harbin: The notoriously difficult Harbin RAs are out for blood. However, you can use the cluster-style to your advantage! Close off your cluster’s door properly and you can create an impenetrable fortress for fiestas free from RAs.

Bonus: The upper several floors of Harbin have some of the best views among the freshman dorms. Some rooms can see the National Cathedral and the Washington Monument! Others can see the dumpster right behind the building where Bill Clinton’s trash was once thrown out!

Darnall: As you may have heard, Darnall has twin beds, rather than twin XL beds. Depending on what way you look at it, this gives you 5 MORE INCHES for activities.

ferrell drums

Bonus: You live on top of Epi, the 24-hour eatery that is every student’s go-to place at 3 a.m. Getting there and back for a late-night snack couldn’t be easier.

VCE: Call the housing office and request to move. The only positive thing is that the elevator tends to move fastest here out of all the freshman dorms. Possibly because nobody dares enter VCE.

Bonus:                                (this area intentionally left blank)

cocohead

More to come next time on 4E’s Declassified.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, georgetownuniversity.com, tumblr.com

Posted on

A Freshman’s Guide to Manipulating Residential Living

Banner - Housing TipsIt’s that time of year for high school seniors. The time when they (those incoming freshman) fill out the famed Living Preference Questionnaire and begin the housing process. To all of you younglings, congratulations on your commitment to Georgetown. Now you finally can start making decisions about your freshmen year. What a time to be alive!

To all the current students, I’m sure you remember what it was like getting the first emails from housing. The excitement of ending high school and beginning college is something that almost everyone experiences. Housing was one of the first symbols of this change. No, we didn’t really care about the living survey. There were only two things that really mattered: our roommates and our housing assignments. We at least had some control over our roommate if we used the infamous CHARMS system. Let’s just say this works out better for some than it does for others.On the other hand, most of us had no control over our housing assignment.  There were maybe one or two little-known ways to work the system. Other than that, we were on our own. We all prayed for New South and scoffed at Darnall. When assignments were released in August, reactions included joy, disappointment, indifference, and just downright shock. Residents of New South were ecstatic, residents of Darnall felt cheated, and the residents of Harbin and VCW figured they would be okay. Oh, and then there were those of us in VCE. Note to incoming students: Darnall is NOT THE WORST. I repeat, if you get Darnall, it is NOT the end of the world. You are at least with other freshmen (and mice/rats) who keep you company in your isolation. We VCEers are alone; we have barely any freshmen to whom we can turn. 

We all thought we just had bad luck. Unfortunately for us, we were wrong; we just didn’t know the tricks of the system! Fortunately for all new students, 4E is going to share some tips on how to cheat the housing system. While some might say that these tricks will not work, please just look at what happened with housing this year. Do you really think that outsmarting the housing system is hard? 

In order to make sure that you’re satisfied with your housing assignment, here are some neat ways you can manipulate the system and/or the Residential Living Staff.

  1. Request medical housing– This could be a power move for some people. Some current students were granted medical housing due to gluten allergies. While this may seem like a scam (which it is), it may get you into either VCW or even New South. Discover your hidden ailment, fall down a flight of stairs, make up a disease: do whatever you gotta do to get medical housing.
  2. Post your most embarrassing story in the GAAP Facebook Group– Posting in the GAAP group may indeed make you famous (just ask Alessandra Puccio). If you post a really embarrassing story about yourself, your name might just reach the ears of the Residential Living Staff. What better way to both get good housing and put yourself out there to your new classmates? Disclaimer: If you actually do this, people will know you when you arrive. Will people envy you? That depends on how great the story is. 
  3. Request a single sex floor– Usually, if you request a single sex floor, you’ll probably end up in VCW or Harbin. While neither of these options are the same as the coveted New South, they are not the worst housing options on campus. You also will definitely not get Darnall. Both offer central locations, and each have unique features. Harbin has the cluster formation, while VCW offers the two-winged design, straight hallways and private bathrooms. If I were you, I would hope for Harbin, since private bathrooms don’t thrill me that much.
  4. Go on Tinder and swipe right for an administrator– Todd Olsen, the Vice President for Student Affairs, is a man of mystery. Does he actually have a Tinder profile? Who knows. But if he does, take advantage of the situation. If he also swipes right on you, you’ll have an excellent bargaining chip in your possession. It may not even our dear friend Todd; it could be anyone high up in the administration. New South, here you come! (We are clearly joking…)
  5. Write a very large check– This almost maybe definitely work, but please don’t be that guy.

In the end, you should not stress too much about housing. No matter where you live as a freshman, you’ll end up making friends in your dorm. Even if you don’t, your friends are a stone’s throw away (except if they’re in Darnall). Just fill out the living survey and wait. Finally, for your housing assignment and more importantly, your roommate search…may the odds be ever in your favor.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, studentliving,georgetown.edu

Posted on

Quiz: Do You Recognize Georgetown’s Buildings?

georgetown quiz

With all of the construction around campus, it’s nearly impossible to know exactly what campus looks like at any given point. See how Georgetown has changed over the years and see if you can still recognize parts of campus in this super ~fun~ quiz.

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/grahamr10/name-this-historical-georgetown-site”]

Photos: wahsingtoncitypaper.com

Posted on

So, You Want to Netflix & Chill?

hfliljdkzvxldfyupzwnWith a new crop of students roaming the Hilltop comes a new set of questions to be answered. At 4E, we’ve already received numerous emails asking questions like:

“How can I avoid the freshman 15?” It’s unavoidable.

and

“How do I do laundry?” Honestly who knows, just call your mom.

However, seeing as how the answers to such problems could easily be looked up on Google, we haven’t felt compelled to grace these young Hoyas with our words of wisdom. That is, until we received the following email:

Hey 4E,

I’m really in need of your help. I saw some of your posts a while back where you gave pretty solid advice, and I’m so desperate I thought I’d give this a shot. I’m emailing you now because I’m having some major guy problems. I mean, I haven’t had this much drama since since my prom date Jason saw me DFMO with Kyle on the dance floor to “Love Story”. But, like, can I live?

So, about two weeks ago I met this really cute upperclassman guy at a totally exclusive party. He’s an athlete, and I think he plays football or like some sport where you throw things. Anyway, we ended up hanging out all night and I got to tell him all about my hopes and dreams for college. It was just sooo refreshing to talk to such mature guy about mature things, totally not like conversations with my high school boyfriend. Then, before I went back to New South, he said “Emma, can I get your number?” And I was like “sure,” even though my name’s actually Becca. But like, they both end in “A” so he probably just misheard me, right?

Now this guy has been texting nonstop for the past two weeks. He’ll usually text me some time between 2 a.m. and 3 a.m., which is kind of late but it’s nice to know that he’s thinking of me! Most of the time he’ll just text me things like “yo” or “sup,” but that’s enough for me to know that he’s totally into me. Sometimes I respond with really long texts about my day or what I ate at Leo’s, but he usually doesn’t respond to those. I figure he’s probably fallen asleep because he has practice early in the morning.

Anyway, last night he changed things up with his texts and at 2:32 a.m. texted me “Netflix and chill?” I was so confused at first, like what does his text mean? Why does he want to watch a movie so late?? Is this a date??? 4E, please help me! I just really need to know what his text means.

Becca in New South

Dear Becca,

We’re glad you decided to reach out to us at 4E, because we’ve definitely got a lot of advising to do for your situation.

First off, we definitely agree that this super cute upperclassman guy must be into you. As for the instance of him calling you Emma rather than Becca, he definitely didn’t mishear you. While some people call their significant others “babe” or “bae,” he opted to think outside of the box by calling you Emma. Think of it as a compliment, you only spent a few hours telling him your hopes and dreams before you scored that pet name! If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.

As for his late night texts, don’t worry about how late he’s sending them. Guys in college spend a lot of time doing homework, and are known to pull all-nighters when their professors assign a lot of optional reading for class. If anything, you should be flattered by the fact that you’re the first thing he thinks about when he’s done with all of his assignments! The fact that he’s also able to formulate such coherent thoughts as “yo” or “sup” after a full night of hitting the books is also commendable.

Now, in regards to his most recent text, you should know that this is in fact his way of not only asking you on a date but also asking you to be his girlfriend. You don’t want to Netflix and chill with just anyone, it’s just way too personal! I mean think about it, would you really be comfortable with anyone apart from your significant other seeing all those Disney movies and weird documentaries in your “recently watched” section? Yeah, we didn’t think so. Our best advice is to text him back ASAP, set up a convenient time to Netflix and chill and find the longest movie possible. (Note: We recommend anything by Nicholas Sparks.)

Much Love,

4E

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, gizmodo.com

Posted on

If You Lead a Freshman to Brown House…

New-Releases-Top-College-Party-SongsThere are few experiences that will define and unite all Hoyas. Meeting Jack the Bulldog, climbing the John Carroll statue and getting your forehead stamped at Tombs are just a few of these memorable events. As an incoming freshman, you’ll likely have one such defining experience within your first week or two of being on the Hilltop.  Of course, we’re referring to your first Brown House party.

“What is Brown House?” you find yourself asking. Well, it’s somewhat of a haven for freshmen as your chance of getting into these parties is drastically higher in comparison to pretty much anywhere else. Now you’re probably wondering, “What happens at these parties?” Well, we’re glad you asked. In order to prepare you for this truly transformative, life-changing event; 4E has put together a timeline of your first night at Brown House.

8:30 p.m.: You receive a text from someone on your floor saying there’s going to be a HUGE party at this “Brown House” place tonight.

8:32 p.m.: You let your floor friend know that you, your roommate, and about 5 of your new closest friends are definitely down to check this out.

8:35 p.m.: You and your roommate spend the next 15 minutes trying to use Google Maps to figure out Brown House’s address. You’re ultimately unsuccessful.

8:50 p.m.: You start to freak out because it’s almost 9:00 p.m. and you really don’t want to show up late! You frantically start to get ready, trying on almost every outfit in your closet in the process. Your roommate will definitely offer unsolicited advice.

9:30 p.m.: You’re finally ready to go, and you couldn’t be more excited about your first college party. You text your friend and decide to meet in their roommate’s friend’s acquaintance’s room in New South.

9:35 p.m.: You make the trek from Darnall to New South. Such a far walk, but five minutes later you arrive to the pregame in New South. You’re quickly pulled into the overly crowded room of freshmen in order to avoid the RAs from hearing all the noise.

9:37 p.m.: You think you see a bottle of something being passed around at the other end of the room and decide it’s a good idea to check this out.

9:38 p.m.: You make your way to the other end and get ahold of a half-drunk bottle of Cherry Burnett’s. You quickly realize that college will be full of top-shelf vodka as you attempt to hide your horrible facial reaction from consuming something that tastes like medicine and gasoline mixed together.

10 p.m.: After introducing yourself to a dozen people or so over some blaring Top 40 pop song, someone stands on a bed and announces that it’s time to split up and head to Brown House.  You’ll spend the next 15 minutes trying to figure out groups with the right ratios guaranteed to grant you access to Brown House.

10:25 p.m.: Perfect!  You get to the party before 10:30 p.m., so you should be good to go! Unfortunately, the bouncers don’t feel the same way and only let half of you in. On the bright side, you’re in the lucky half and find yourself wandering through the back gates to the house.

10:30 p.m.: You can hardly believe that you’re at your first real life college party! You’ve made your way to the middle of the dance party and it’s definitely everything you’d imagined it to be. You can’t wait to text all of your friends from home about how insane things are at Georgetown.

10:45 p.m.: You and your friends make your way to a table with a massive Sterilite container filled with a mysterious red liquid. You’re feeling adventurous and grab a cup.

11 p.m.: Whatever is in your cup is definitely doing the trick, you’re feeling great and head back to the dance floor. “Trap Queen” comes on and you can’t help but let everyone know that “thissss isss mahhh jaaaaaam!”

11:15 p.m.: After 15 minutes of intense dancing that primarily involves flailing your limbs wildly, you notice a guy/girl across the room. You’re feeling pretty confident and decide to make your way over to them.

11:20 p.m.: You’re having a great conversation with this stranger. It’s such a coincidence that they’re also in the College and from New Jersey!  Things are going so well that you think it might be love at first sight. You ask them what they think of NSO. Your new love interest immediately starts laughing in your face. Apparently he/she is an upperclassman.

11:30 p.m.: You head back to the middle of the crowded dance floor and hope the flashing lights hide just how much your blushing from embarrassment. You start to look around for your friends and realize they’ve completely disappeared.

11:35 p.m.: You make your way past the masses of people huddled around the beer pong table to get a better view of the dance floor.  All of your friends are either dancing or DFMOing with completely random people. You decide to make new friends and join in on a game of pong. You’ll spend the next hour and a half meeting various people and bonding over how you think NSO ice breakers are soooo awkward.

1 a.m.: One of your floor friends makes their way through the crowd to you. They say they’re headed to this place called “Epi” because they’re “sooo drunk and just need food.” You decide to check it out because you’re pretty hungry yourself.

2 a.m.: You never want to eat anything apart from an Epi quesadilla ever again.  You’ll likely never say this again until you go to your next Brown House party…

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, imgur.com, tumblr.com, nocookie.net