Meet the 4E’s Spring 2020 Hires!

Earlier in this semester, we at The Fourth Edition welcomed three new fantastically ~quirky~ sophomores to our staff: Jessica Alexander, Melanie Boychuk and Katie Watke!

As the year progresses, we hope you get to know them through their incredible work, but for now, here is each new hire’s “Top 5” list!

Jessica Alexander (COL ’22)

Top-Five Bagels (Dedicated to Einstein’s Lovers and New Jerseyans alike): 

  1. Everything 
  2. Pumpernickel 
  3. Cinnamon Sugar
  4. Sesame Seed
  5. Plain

Melanie Boychuk (COL ’22)

Top-Five Most Pretentious Grocery Stores 

  1. Whole Foods: Whole Foods takes the (organic, gluten-free, $30) cake for most pretentious grocery store. Under the guise of “all natural, non-GMO” products, Whole Foods is ironically a serious detriment to shoppers’ health when they immediately have a stroke upon seeing their receipt total.
  2. Trader Joe’s: Trader Joes is not simply a grocery store; it’s an entirely different universe. In what other world can you buy wine for $4 while hipsters in Hawaiian shirts ringing you up tell you what you’re buying is “totally one of their favorites?” However, out of respect for their low prices, they get to be No. 2 on this list. 
  3. Wegmans: Wegmans is well known for having relatively cheap products for good-quality food. However, its weirdly strong following places it in the middle of this list — ask anyone in Jersey and they’ll tell you they would sell their soul to keep shopping at Wegmans. 
  4. The Fresh Market: The Fresh Market is trying to reinvent grocery stores by focusing on fresh food. Anytime a business uses the word “reinvent,” you can be sure there’s some sort of gentrification going on there. 
  5. Safeway: Posing as a regular grocery store among the likes of ShopRite or Stop & Shop, Safeway fools its shoppers with its almost too ordinary appearance. However, Safeway’s jacked-up prices are most definitely not ordinary — and puts it at No. 5 on this list. 

Katie Watke (COL ’22)

Top-Five Best (and I mean the absolute very best) Chinese Foods To Order and Crave on a Daily Basis:

  1. Bao Bun (preferably of the pork variety) 
  2. Shrimp (specifically) Soup Dumplings 
  3. All Other Types of Soup Dumplings 
  4. Egg and Tomato Soup (for those days when you’ve eaten one too many bao buns)
  5. Peking Duck (would be number one if — and only if — the delectable dish weren’t so inaccessible!  The only Peking Duck anyone should ever eat exists only in Beijing, so until teleportation becomes a modern mode of transportation, I must sadly place this beloved dish at No. 5)

4E’s Spring 2017 Blog Babies

Every semester, we at The Fourth Edition decide to open our doors to the few whom we think are pretty hilarious. This semester, we took five new, spectacular human beings out of a competitive applicant pool. We can’t wait to see what they accomplish!

Top 3 Moments on Season 21 of The Bachelor

1. When Corinne, age 24, casually discloses that she has a nanny. #FreeRaquel2k17

2. When Alexis (dolphin/shark) jumps into the pool and starts making what I presume are dolphin mating sounds to call out for Nick.

3. When Josephine forces Nick to “lady and tramp” an uncooked hot dog with her.

Top  3 Ways to Get Lost in the ICC

1. You took the stairs. Never take the stairs.

                  2.  You went to office hours. The offices seem to always be full of people and yet does anyone really know where they are?
                  3.  You went to the bathroom. If the stairs are from Hogwarts, the ICC bathrooms are practically closets to Narnia.


Top 3 Georgetown Pet Peeves

1. Facilities request.

2. When someone ignores your Venmo request.

3. Dominos closes at 2 AM????





Top 5 TV Show Episodes that Make a Bad Day Better

1. The Office, “Stress Relief”

2. Parks and Recreation, “Li’l Sebastian”

3. 30 Rock, “Queen of Jordan”




Top 3 Things Every Georgetown Student Can Agree On

1. The Leo’s coffee may be a crummy necessity in maintaining our caffeine addictions, but their banana bread is a delicious gift from heaven.

2. Jack DeGioia is low-key a baller. He owns his rescinding hair line and classy tie collection.

3. We look at the people on tours to see by chance if we know someone, even though we would never actually want to see some random from high school.


Meet Our New Bloggers

new bloggers

This week, 4E added seven wonderful new bloggers to our staff. We had a blast meeting and interviewing our newest writers, and now it’s time for you to meet them, too:

Drew Applebaum (COL ’17)


Top 5 WWE Wrestlers of All Time: 
5. John Cena: While Cena is clearly the most popular wrestler in the WWE today, I can’t justify putting him above five because of his stale character as well as having years left in his career.
4. Ric Flair: Not a lot of people have heard of Flair, but the 16-time world champ deserves a spot on this list. “The Nature Boy’s” pretty boy look with long blonde hair and sparkling robes was a character that he executed to perfection, while being a great technician in the ring.
3. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: Everyone knows The Rock thanks to his Hollywood success, but The Rock honed that charisma in the squared circle and had great success in the WWE golden days.
2. Hulk Hogan: Hulkamania brother. The Hulkster has been right at the top of popularity from when he started wrestling in the 60’s, until even today. He would absolutely be number 1, if it weren’t for perhaps the most influential wrestler of all time…
1. Stone Cold Steve Austin: Not a lot of people know who he is, and he may not have the gaudy championship numbers like Flair or Cena, but The Texas Rattlesnake is the most influential, important and entertaining wrestler. He dominated the golden years of the “Attitude Era” in the 90’s. Story lines and injuries are the only reason this extremely skilled wrestler does not have more championships, but few people have been more important to the WWE.

Maeve Cleary (COL ’17)


If I could live in any one place on campus, I would live in Leo O’Donovan’s On the Waterfront (otherwise known as “Leo’s”). No brainer. Oh, where do I start? I can go on and on about Leo’s most wonderful characteristics. For starters, it is the closest you will come to a 5-star meal in ~the district~. I mean, who doesn’t love cold baked sweet potatoes, mushy green beans drowning in salt water and plain white rice?! Oh, and even more, who doesn’t love spending $2,000 a year for such a divine eating experience?! Oh right, ME. I absolutely loathe Leo’s. I trek to Leo’s as infrequently as possible; oftentimes we go several weeks without seeing one another. And really, the inevitable reunion is quite possibly one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. Just in case you were considering treating yourself to a meal at Leo’s today, please, for the sake of your own life satisfaction, do not. But without further ado, I will answer your question truthfully. If I could live in any one place on campus, I would choose Gaston Hall in Healy to be my home. It is exceptionally beautiful, it is centrally located on campus and most importantly, it has been graced by the presence of countless amazing individuals… cough, Bradley Cooper, Kevin Spacey… So if anyone is looking for a new roomie and would like to move into my Gaston Hall palace next fall, just let me know!!

Jenna Clifford (SFS ’18)


Top 5 Top 5 Lists:
1. Top 5 throwbacks to sing at the top of your lungs (Bust a Move can be screamed if remembered, She Will Be Loved will always be a classic)
2. Top 5 best kept secrets of Leo’s (taking fancy bread from upstairs and making a plate of oil, parmesan and oregano dip downstairs)
3. Top 5 roof views on campus (Regents is arguably even better than Reiss and not that hard to get to)
4. Top 5 things to do instead of go for a run (watch 5 episodes of “New Girl”, the 26-minute “Astronaut Nap”)
5. Top 5 awkward ways to reject a date (turn it into a “friendly dinner,” or if asked for phone number respond “I don’t have a cellphone” while hiding the phone that was in your hand.)

Joyce Connolly (COL’ 18)


Top Five Words You Won’t Believe Were Added to the Oxford English Dictionary:
1. Amazeballs: As if the adjective “amazing” just wasn’t enough.
2. Ego-surfing: Now you can use “ego-surfing” to capture those weak moments when you look yourself up on Google.
3. Grrrl: Is it really a word anyway if there’s no vowel?
4. YOLO: Who would have thought Drake would make his way into the Oxford English Dictionary?
5. Hate-watch: Is it just me who is completely foreign to the concept of watching a show that you hate?

Tori Forelli (COL’ 18)


I would love to live in the bell tower of Healy. Now I know this might seem like a strange response to the given question because Healy is in fact not a dorm, but nevertheless I would love to live there. Living in the bell tower, I would have the best view on campus, and would literally be at the highest point on the Hilltop, which I believe would automatically make me the king of the hill. This location would also allow me to frequently steal the clock hands or observe all the attempts made. Sure, the constant ringing of bells in my ear could seem like a potential problem, but in fact I believe that it might be the only force in the world strong enough to wake me up for that 8:00 am Spanish class I signed up for. Now, I know that the bell tower life is not for everyone, but after watching “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” several times, I think I have what it takes.

Shakeema Gonzalez (COL’ 17)


Top 5 Scariest Feelings:
1. When you’re walking on a slippery sidewalk and you feel the heel of your shoe start to slip but you catch yourself just in time not to fall, which is probably more scary than falling itself.
2. “Did you know there was a back to the worksheet?”
3. Pop Quizzes.
4. Being cold-called in class (IT’S SYLLABUS WEEK C’MON).
5. 5 missed calls from Mom.

Marina Smith (COL’ 18)


The Top 5 Times I Have Embarrassed Myself at Georgetown (thus far!):
I have a propensity for embarrassing myself. Luckily, it happens often, so I am well versed in handling awkward and uncomfortable situations (Step 1: Buy several cartons of Ben & Jerry’s). Despite having only completed one semester at Georgetown, I have discovered several innovative and exciting ways to experience deep embarrassment. Try one of these methods, and you too can be laughed at for years to come!
1. The time I decided it would be a good idea to do laundry in my bathrobe, locked myself out of the building and walked around a good portion of campus because I had no idea where I was. Freshman protip: try this one if you are looking to make a good first impression on upperclassmen!
2. The time I was trying to take a picture of lightning and proceeded to fall on my face. Don’t judge me, I’m from California. We don’t have weather there.
3. The time I was trying to be a good person and stop someone from drunk driving but it turned out that they were getting into an Uber. Sorry, profoundly confused and probably terrified Uber driver!
4. The time I spent two days telling my friends how good I was at using the Metro and then wound up hopelessly lost somewhere in Maryland.
5. The time I unintentionally parkoured off the treadmill in Yates. It may or may not have been in front of the entire men’s crew team.

Photos: Facebook

Meet the New Bloggers!

New BloggiesThis week, 4E added eight talented bloggers to our staff. We had a blast meeting and interviewing our newest writers, and now it’s time for you to meet them, too:

AlexisAlexis Oni-Eseleh (COL ’16)

Top Five Sassiest Ways to End an Argument:

1. “GURRRL BYE.” Commit to the “URRRL” in “GURRRL” or it’s pointless.

2. “OVER IT.” Subsequently strut out of the room to “Diva” by Beyoncé.

3. “UNSUBSCRIBE.” Must be used on someone who is social media savvy.

4. Invest in a magic smoke clouds for swift, unexpected exits.

5. Play Miley Cyrus’s 2013 VMA Performance. That will shut anyone up.



Camille Dirago (NHS ’16)

If you could invent anything for only Georgetown students, what would it be and why?

If I could invent one thing for Georgetown students to use, it would most likely be some kind of contraption to make the numerous amounts of stairs and hills on our campus less daunting to climb. Don’t get me wrong, I love our position on top of the hill, but when my backpack is heavier than I am and I have to walk up the hill from Leo’s to Lau, I would probably do anything for some king of ski-lift-like device to make the hike less painful. It could work just like any other ski-lift, and it would provide an awesome view of the river and surrounding areas on the way. Not to mention that it would also make our campus much more handicap-friendly!


DJD.J. Angelini (MSB ’17)

The Top Five Ways to Procrastinate on That Essay for One More Hour:

1. Learn how to wall twerk from YouTube tutorials that look like they were filmed using a Nokia phone from the early ’90s.

2. Peruse the Internet for in-depth cinematic reviews of the Beyoncé visual album (and possibly write your own?).

3. Walk to Five Guys at 3 a.m. (or take Charlie’s zip-line) to reward yourself for opening up a Word document, writing your name and saving the progress.

4. Live tweet a dramatic episode of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

5. Go to Yates with the intent to work out but really sit and stare in envy at the people who were bold enough to play ping-pong instead.

(All have been personally tested and have been deemed completely effective.)


EmilyEmily Min (NHS ’16)

Top Five Reasons Everyone Should Drink Juice

1. The variety is insane. Yeah, you can have five or six kinds of Coke but there are at least eight different flavors of Juicy Juice alone! And they don’t even have cran-raspberry!

2. You can drink it and feel like you’re being healthy … just don’t read the nutrition facts.

3. It’s a great chaser/mixer/hangover-helper/cure to everyone’s problems.

4. Buster Bluth loves it. #offthehook

5. Chance The Rapper devoted a whole song to it! Wait … that’s not what “Juice” is about? Never mind.


LupitaLupita Humbert (COL ’17)

If you could invent anything for only Georgetown students, what would it be and why?

I would invent an invisibility cloak. In Harry Potter language, “an invisibility cloak is a magical garment which renders whatever it covers unseeable. They may be made from hair of Demiguise, a magical creature that possesses the power to become invisible. This property is used to make the wearer of the cloak invisible.”

And why an invisibility cloak? Well, for five main reasons:

1. To enter Gaston Hall undetected when Warren Buffet, Hilary Clinton or Laura Bush are going to give a speech, without having to get in line before 5 a.m.

2. To explore the sinister underground tunnels where secret societies are said to gather, without being caught by anyone who could get you into trouble.

3. To have a free-from-ID pass to enter Tombs on any given Tuesday for Trivia Night if you are not yet 21.

4. To be able to take 20 or more cookies from Leo’s without being yelled at by the lady in the dining hall entrance.

5. To enter any building, especially our beautiful Lau, without having to swipe the GoCard that I probably left in my dorm that day or lost the previous night.


SydneySydney Bolling (COL ’16)

Top Five Ways to Stick to Your Workout Plan

1. Get the Netflix app on your phone. Go on the elliptical or walk on the treadmill while watching your favorite shows. You might still be watching TV, but at least you’re moving around. Self conscious about watching Netflix at Yates? Go to the back by the mats for some privacy, and watch those cute boys lift weights while you’re at it.

2. Buy yourself some new workout paraphernalia; you’ll need to use it in order to justify your purchase.

3. Find your most athletic friend and tell them you want to go on a run together. They’ll bug you about it until you cave. Bonus points: Hit up Sweetgreen on the way back for a post-workout meal.

4. Get a Yates class pass. There are some awesome classes out there for every fitness level. Relax with some yoga or go hard in spinning – it’ll be worth it in the end.

5. Go on Pintrest and find a motivational quote. Put it on your door and eventually you’ll guilt yourself into putting on those sneakers.

Why You Really Wanted to Join 4E for Christmas…

apply to write for 4eChristmas has come and gone. While the presents and food were fantastic, we know that for you there was still something missing underneath the tree. At one point, we were all there, too. We all shared that feeling of emptiness, that feeling of having one secret, lurking, unfulfilled Christmas wish. And, lucky for you, we know exactly what that wish is: You want to join 4E, don’t you?

Lucky for you, ’tis the season for new hires! All Georgetown students dream of being a part of 4E. (At least they should.) The Hoya is a pervasive part of the Georgetown community, and 4E is one of the most dynamic and exciting sections (sorry, not sorry, other Hoya members, I’m biased). Although applications don’t emerge until January, it is never too early to think about the endless possibilities that could present themselves if you join our intellectual (and attractive) staff!

Still not convinced? Check out the list below to find out why joining 4E is the gift that you didn’t receive (but still can get) for Christmas:

1. Don’t you wanna be like us? We are hip, we are cool and we surf the web. We’re also obsessed with the latest fads. Gifs? We love them. Quirky news? We’re your source. Creative approaches to journalism? We’re all about dat lyfe. Wisey’s sandwiches? Can’t get enough. We want to be website that you and your friends scroll through during theology class … and to keep the addictive pieces coming, we need your help!

2. Best friends 4E is a really, really, really good time. Our bloggers are super close friends, and the majority of our meetings end in uncontrollable laughter. It is comical how comical we are, and we’re always looking for eager minds to join the fun along with us.


3. F is for FUN Writing for 4E is a party. It doesn’t even feel like work. (There are deadlines, though, and we still carry the integrity and professionalism of The Hoya brand.) That being said, our section is always relaxed, creative and cool. Part of what makes blogging so exciting is the freedom to write about what we like and the ability to think of post ideas ourselves. You like politics? Write about it! Are you a fashion fanatic? Show off your style! Have a unique idea that Georgetowners would love? Share it – and share it with us! At 4E, we encourage one another to be ourselves and come up with our own innovative content.

4. NAPS 4E is a major proponent of napping. If we had our say, napping would be a national sport. Do you have what it takes to join our team? Sleep all day, blog all night. Nap in the middle of writing a blog post (as long as you make deadline). You’ll dream of sugar plums and sparkling blog content!

5. Storytelling The 4E loves to do staff collaborations. We all take turns adding our own personal touches and end up with a fabulous product. What parts will you bring to our story? Are you our action hero? Our science junkie? The average guy (who happens to love current events)? We want you to add your special spin to our 4E narrative.

6. Newsies Not everything is gifs and glitter. 4E also likes to write about serious items. When writing companion pieces with The Hoya, we put our own spin on interesting and relevant content. Informative, outside-the-box and funny … 4E is such a triple threat.

7. TV-aholics TV and Netflix are important parts of the 4E sphere of influence. (I can personally attest to my own Netflix addiction.) What better reason to procrastinate studying than watching TV for a blog post you’re required to write? Television shows may take over our lives at times, but they provide us bloggers with plenty to talk/write about. And if they’re watched in the name of putting out new content, then it’s a sacrifice we’re willing to make.

8. PUPPIES We love our mascots more than anything. Join 4E to look at and write about this adorable face. You know you want to …

IMG_3329… and how can you say no to that?

9. Snack and Play Every week, we name a Blogger of the Week who goes above and beyond with his or her work. This blogger is awarded with food, cupcakes, milkshakes, coffee and/or other amazing prizes. In fact, the bloggers are currently in the midst of a friendly post battle for a delicious Tombs dinner! Some of us even take our work to the big leagues and compete for The Hoya’s coveted Staffer of the Week prize. At 4E, your hard work gets rewarded. (And most of the time, it doesn’t even feel like work.)

10. Fixat10n Nation Music makes us lose control. Misdemeanor’s in the house! Ciara’s in the house! I’ve got a cute face, chubby waste … ahem. What I, uh, meant to say was that our Friday Fixat10ns playlists incorporate blogging expertise with some pretty amazing tunes. Bonus: The playlists are also themed. So if you like music, you should probably join 4E.

There are still a million other reasons why being on 4E is totally the Christmas gift you never got … but still can get. The only way you can truly find out why 4E is so awesome is to apply and experience it for yourself. Applications are coming soon, so in the meantime, ask questions to any of our writers or email us at [email protected] to learn more about the 4E life.

The bottom line: APPLY TO THE BLOG. (And tell your friends to apply, too!) We would love to have you, as long as you think we are really pretty.Mean-Girls-GIF-Regina-George-Rachel-McAdams-You-Think-Youre-Really-Pretty

So you agree? You think 4E is really pretty?

GIFS: tumblr; Photo: Daniel Smith/The Hoya