Who Goes to What Corp Location

There’s nothing Georgetown students love to hate more than The Corp. Yet sometimes, when Leo’s just doesn’t cut it, even the most anti-establishment SFSers will succumb to their consumerist urges and support the capitalist temptress that is The Corp — those apple cinnamon muffins are just too good. But there are some of us whose Flex Dollar accounts seemingly runneth over and, thus, frequent Corp storefronts more than others. To anyone still stinging from their freshman fall Corp rejection, this one’s for you.

Hilltoss

Hilltoss — the bougie student’s Crop Chop and the lazy student’s Sweetgreen. While some of us may balk at the prices — $12 for a salad the size of my palm?— the cost is no problem for your international friend whose parents are either diplomats or “international businessmen” (aka CIA operatives). This Moncler-sporting expat summers in the south of France, skis in the winters at their chalet in Switzerland and is way overdressed for your 9 a.m. “Problem of God” class. They like Hilltoss because it’s sooo much less processed than the rest of the food in the United States; after their refreshing, organic salad they are known to enjoy a cigarette break outside the HFSC.

This ~citizen of the world~ can find kinship in the laptop-sticker-loving social justice warrior waiting behind them in line. Likely a JUPS or WGST major, this person hails from Long Island or a wealthy Jersey suburb, probably spells their name weirdly — you’re not fooling anyone, Maddisynne — and used to love infinity signs and WeHeartIt but now has deleted all social media so they can be more “in touch with nature.” Though the rest of us may term them “granola,” they prefer to be called “sustainable” or “ecological.”

Uncommon Grounds

This artsy coffee snob was definitely deciding between Wesleyan, NYU, and Georgetown. They have a Crosley record player and listen exclusively to the Velvet Underground and Nirvana. UG is the perfect place for them to drink some ~real~ coffee while journaling or writing poetry in their Moleskine. Something about the album cover wall art and deliberately disheveled decor really gets their creative juices flowing and the “accidental” coffee rings on their papers make them feel authentic.

MUG

This ICC holy grail serves students of all kinds, from all backgrounds and in all schools, but there is one they serve the most — the over-caffeinated SFSer who just has SO MANY core requirements, three State Department internships at once, is learning their fifth language and really wants you to know they’re in the SFS and that their workload is harder than yours. One of the few breeds on campus able to navigate the labyrinth of the ICC, this student can often be seen running from “Map of the Modern World” to Arabic with a Corp coffee cup in hand. The best course of action is to get out of their way and get them their coffee as fast as possible — they’re in the SFS after all, so they need it more than you.

Hoya Snaxa

Most people who enter this glorified broom cupboard are under some sort of influence, be it exhaustion, alcohol or some other ~controlled~ substance. It takes a lot for someone to willingly shove themselves into a closet stuffed to the brim with likely expired drugstore candy and very few do so completely sober. The typical Snaxa-goer is a Southwest Quad sophomore looking for a lighter and some Cheetos to aid in their cannabis-related endeavors. They probably are in Ultimate Frisbee and are majoring in Econ or OPIM. This classic Hoya bro is definitely sporting head-to-toe Georgetown athletic gear despite not having been on a sports team since 10th grade — unless FIFA counts.

Midnight Mug

This person is that friend who never goes to lecture, writes papers drunk and still manages to make the Dean’s List. Whatever they lack in work ethic they make up for with determination, nerve and coffee. This highly caffeinated Hoya is an avid Redditor, with a taste in memes you don’t understand and a passion for conspiracy theories like, “Jack the Bulldog is actually a robotic surveillance device deployed by the Soviets during the Cold War, and that’s why you can never pet him.”  You can find this person on Lau 2 at 11 p.m. the night before an essay they haven’t started is due, watching “Illuminati Confirmed” videos.

Vital Vittles

Nearly everyone goes to Vittles, but none more so than the sleep-deprived MSBro — or, I’m told, people getting ready to throw a Henle rager. Desperately in need of some Nutella or Red Bull to patch their life back together after scrolling through Facebook videos instead of studying for three hours, what this person really needs is a hug. Yet, all they get is a giant pack of oddly flavored potato chips they didn’t want because Vittles was out of what they really wanted.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, thecorp.org

Corp Coffee Improved, But New Smoothies Shine

Corp Taste Test

After receiving student feedback about their coffee, The Corp recently replaced all their coffee and espresso beans, chai mixes and smoothie bases with ones from new vendors. During this time, UG, MUG, and Midnight MUG will also all replace their coffee makers, coffee grinders and espresso grinders with higher quality Curtis brand ones, made in California. Espresso machines have also been updated.

UG employee Nick Pavlovic believes that the new equipment will help improve customer service at all the coffee shops.

“The new machines really change the game,” he said. “They run faster, the grinders especially, which run twice as fast as the old ones. The coffee will be fresher and quicker, and everything will be more consistent. It takes the human error out of making drinks.”

DC-based Compass Coffee’s beans replaced the old coffee and espresso beans, from Mayorga coffee. Not only does Compass Coffee roast their beans right in DC, but co-founder Harrison Suarez has even traveled to Colombia to visit different farms and processing facilities. The coffee is called the Cardinal Blend, made up of Brazilian and Guatemalan coffee. The new espresso beans are a blend of Brazil, Guatemalan and Sumatran coffee. This blend gives the coffee “this really great chocolate nutty flavor,” Suarez said.

Moving toward a local coffee brand has furthered the idea of quality with Corp products.

“Our coffee overhaul is really the final step in solidifying our mission to really champion both good quality products as well as local entrepreneurial ideas,” outgoing COO Patrick Moore said.

The Coffee

4E pitted the old coffee, bought at Midnight Mug, against the new coffee at Uncommon Grounds. The aroma of the new coffee was cleaner, brighter and less pungent than older roast, which seemed acidic and harsh. The old coffee tasted earthly and almost burnt, while the new is fresh and fruity. The Corp’s switch to Compass Coffee is definitely the right choice.

The new espresso beans also worked very well in a latte. The latte tasted less sharp than the old one, and the espresso gave the latte a nearly caramel-like aroma and a deep, rich flavor.

Ratings—Old coffee: 2/5 New coffee: 4/5

The Chai

UG was also nice enough to give us a taste of the new chai and old chai. The new formula is actually a concentrate, as compared to the old powder. The new chai is produced by Maya Chai, located in Arizona, and comes in two flavors, vanilla and spice. No-sugar chai will be added to the collection in March.

The new concentrate is “a lot more natural,” according to Moore, and half the calories of the old powder. Although new the chai is thinner and paler than the old mix, the new one focuses more on the chai spices than the old chai. The new chai is not quite as sweet as the old one, but still enough to satisfy any sweet tooth.

The dirty chai and iced chai drinks will also be easier to make with the new concentrate because the concentrate’s liquid form won’t form clumps in drinks like the old powder did.

Even though the new chai is definitely delicious, taste-wise, it’s not hugely different from the old one. However, health-wise, this chai has a lot fewer calories and is much more natural coming from a concentrate rather than a powder.

Ratings—Old Chai: 3.5/5 New Chai: 4/5 

The Smoothies

Finally, the Corp also changed their smoothie vendors, from using a mix by syrup maker Monin to a company called Doctor Smoothie.

The difference between the old smoothie and the new smoothie was by far the greatest in all three drinks. Doctor Smoothie’s mix is 100 percent crushed fruit, and baristas mix in yogurt, milk, ice, and etc. to make a much more natural smoothie than the previous one. The new smoothie is much healthier with fewer chemicals and less sugar than the old one, which contained dyes and chemicals.

4E compared the old mango smoothie with the new one, and yes, the new one was much better. Although the old smoothie smelled more like mango, the new one tasted so much more like mango, almost as if someone really did just crush up a fresh mango into a drink. The new smoothie was thicker, less sweet and fruitier than the old one, and was a delicious icy blend, perfect for an upcoming hot summer day. The smoothies are now offered in six flavors as well.

Ratings—Old Smoothie: 2/5 New Smoothie: 5/5

Photo: wikipedia.org