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Who Goes to What Corp Location

There’s nothing Georgetown students love to hate more than The Corp. Yet sometimes, when Leo’s just doesn’t cut it, even the most anti-establishment SFSers will succumb to their consumerist urges and support the capitalist temptress that is The Corp — those apple cinnamon muffins are just too good. But there are some of us whose Flex Dollar accounts seemingly runneth over and, thus, frequent Corp storefronts more than others. To anyone still stinging from their freshman fall Corp rejection, this one’s for you.

Hilltoss

Hilltoss — the bougie student’s Crop Chop and the lazy student’s Sweetgreen. While some of us may balk at the prices — $12 for a salad the size of my palm?— the cost is no problem for your international friend whose parents are either diplomats or “international businessmen” (aka CIA operatives). This Moncler-sporting expat summers in the south of France, skis in the winters at their chalet in Switzerland and is way overdressed for your 9 a.m. “Problem of God” class. They like Hilltoss because it’s sooo much less processed than the rest of the food in the United States; after their refreshing, organic salad they are known to enjoy a cigarette break outside the HFSC.

This ~citizen of the world~ can find kinship in the laptop-sticker-loving social justice warrior waiting behind them in line. Likely a JUPS or WGST major, this person hails from Long Island or a wealthy Jersey suburb, probably spells their name weirdly — you’re not fooling anyone, Maddisynne — and used to love infinity signs and WeHeartIt but now has deleted all social media so they can be more “in touch with nature.” Though the rest of us may term them “granola,” they prefer to be called “sustainable” or “ecological.”

Uncommon Grounds

This artsy coffee snob was definitely deciding between Wesleyan, NYU, and Georgetown. They have a Crosley record player and listen exclusively to the Velvet Underground and Nirvana. UG is the perfect place for them to drink some ~real~ coffee while journaling or writing poetry in their Moleskine. Something about the album cover wall art and deliberately disheveled decor really gets their creative juices flowing and the “accidental” coffee rings on their papers make them feel authentic.

MUG

This ICC holy grail serves students of all kinds, from all backgrounds and in all schools, but there is one they serve the most — the over-caffeinated SFSer who just has SO MANY core requirements, three State Department internships at once, is learning their fifth language and really wants you to know they’re in the SFS and that their workload is harder than yours. One of the few breeds on campus able to navigate the labyrinth of the ICC, this student can often be seen running from “Map of the Modern World” to Arabic with a Corp coffee cup in hand. The best course of action is to get out of their way and get them their coffee as fast as possible — they’re in the SFS after all, so they need it more than you.

Hoya Snaxa

Most people who enter this glorified broom cupboard are under some sort of influence, be it exhaustion, alcohol or some other ~controlled~ substance. It takes a lot for someone to willingly shove themselves into a closet stuffed to the brim with likely expired drugstore candy and very few do so completely sober. The typical Snaxa-goer is a Southwest Quad sophomore looking for a lighter and some Cheetos to aid in their cannabis-related endeavors. They probably are in Ultimate Frisbee and are majoring in Econ or OPIM. This classic Hoya bro is definitely sporting head-to-toe Georgetown athletic gear despite not having been on a sports team since 10th grade — unless FIFA counts.

Midnight Mug

This person is that friend who never goes to lecture, writes papers drunk and still manages to make the Dean’s List. Whatever they lack in work ethic they make up for with determination, nerve and coffee. This highly caffeinated Hoya is an avid Redditor, with a taste in memes you don’t understand and a passion for conspiracy theories like, “Jack the Bulldog is actually a robotic surveillance device deployed by the Soviets during the Cold War, and that’s why you can never pet him.”  You can find this person on Lau 2 at 11 p.m. the night before an essay they haven’t started is due, watching “Illuminati Confirmed” videos.

Vital Vittles

Nearly everyone goes to Vittles, but none more so than the sleep-deprived MSBro — or, I’m told, people getting ready to throw a Henle rager. Desperately in need of some Nutella or Red Bull to patch their life back together after scrolling through Facebook videos instead of studying for three hours, what this person really needs is a hug. Yet, all they get is a giant pack of oddly flavored potato chips they didn’t want because Vittles was out of what they really wanted.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, thecorp.org

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What Clubs Famous People Would Be In At Georgetown

As one of the top 20 schools in the U.S. (and home to the hottest college men, according to Tinder), Georgetown is generally accepted as a place for the ~elite~.

We’re not an Ivy but… yeah, pretty much.

While a fair number of VIPs have walked these hallowed halls (I sometimes daydream about running into Bradley Cooper in the dish return at Leo’s), with a 16% acceptance rate, it’s hard to “catch ‘em all.”

I still cringe…

Once you’ve figured out what famous Hoya you are, come take a break from procrastinating for finals reality with me and imagine what clubs your favorite celebs would be in if they had sported the good ol’ blue and gray.

*wipes away tear*

The Kardashians – Thirty-Seventh

We all know that these gals enjoy the finer things in life. I can’t attest to their academic aspirations, but I have a good feeling that if Kardashoyans existed, they would be major contributors to Georgetown’s premier lifestyle and fashion blog. #Yeezys #For #All

If you stop reading 4E, Kim will be mad. 

Emma Watson – Blue and Gray

This is the friend that you want to hate but can’t because they’re just too nice. Smart, beautiful, vaguely international—they make Georgetown look damn good. You may resent this pal’s borderline *magical* talents, but you have to admit that this kid is going places.

A typical Georgetown know-it-all.

Mark Ruffalo – The Corp

To all my Ruffalovers out there, this one’s for you. This Bernie Bro can sport a knit fleece like no other, and will engage you in a long-winded discussion on conspiracy theories if you so much as whisper the words “inside job.” Can’t you imagine the man behind The Hulk, once dubbed a “sentient farmer’s market,” serving you your double shot of espresso at Midnight MUG with a crinkly, good-natured smile? We know we can.

That woven bracelet tho :-O

Ivanka Trump – GUASFCU

The First Daughter was a student in the MSB for two years before transferring to Penn (*cough* complicit). Her penchant for fancy shoes and ambiguous business buzz-words would make her a prime candidate for Georgetown’s most prestigious financial association.

If you don’t sleep in a suit, are you really an MSBro?

Zac Efron – GUGS

The High School Musical and Neighbors star is truly a man of the people. For this reason, he’d be a member of one of Georgetown’s most accepting clubs, flipping delicious meat spheres burgers for the masses on Friday afternoons. *sings We’re All In This Together with added enthusiasm*

 
If only Georgetown had real frats…
 
 
Stay warm, people. If Bradley Cooper made it through finals, so can we.
 
 
Photos/GIFS: youtube.com, giphy.com, fastccompany.net
 
 
 
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The Seven Personalities At Recruiting Events

Believe it or not, recruiting for internships in banking for the summer of 2018 is already starting. Yes, while some of us can barely find jobs (or pretty much anything to do) for this summer, the aspiring bankers of the Class of 2019 are already on the hunt for the summer internships that will, hopefully, turn into post-graduation jobs. In other news, here’s an accurate picture of my current status for next summer:

Fortunately for many students, the search for summer 2018 internships doesn’t start until a reasonable point sometime in the late fall or early spring. However, I actually attended a recruiting session and had the opportunity to really take a look at the people who surrounded me. For those of you who have never been to a recruiting event, here are some of the people you should expect to encounter.

1. The Classic MSBro
Majors: Finance and Accounting.
Minors: Econ, Math and networking like nobody’s business.

His first word was “money” and his eyes have been on Goldman Sachs from when he first researched the starting salaries of bankers (that is, the age of six).  A true go-getter, don’t expect him to take his eyes off the presenter. Also, don’t even think about trying to talk to him; he’s in the zone, which only has room for himself and the recruiters. He’ll be the first to jump out of his seat to talk to the professionals and tout his summer internship in his dad’s friend’s wife’s office downtown. Afterward, he’ll ask you what you thought of the information session. If you’re the non-finance type like me, you’ll probably look something like this:

2. The Classic MSB*tch
Majors: Finance and Accounting
Minor: Slaying the business professional game.

Straightened hair, polished glasses and an outfit that’s sharp AF, she’ll stroll into the information session and cast her eyes across the room as she surveys the competition. Expect to feel small and judged in her presence. On the prowl for that internship, she poses a threat to the MSBros in the room so you might to be able to detect some ~tension~. Fully aware of her prominence and intimidation, she owns it and takes a seat in the front row on the opposite side of the aisle from the MSBro. The MSB*tch serves as a clear reminder that the business world is not just for men.

3. College Crossovers
Major: Government and/or English

You might find yourself sitting next to someone who happens to be in the College. If they’re a Government and/or English major, then what are they doing at an information session for banking? The MSBros and MSB*tches glare in their direction, and you know they are surely staring down the competition. You discover that although your new acquaintance takes interest in non-business affairs, he/she has resigned himself/herself to working in the world of finance for the purpose of “making bank” (#getit?). Although you pity them for giving up on their major, you also admire them for their determination to fiscally succeed in life after Georgetown. Other reasons for their decision on banking may include following their family into the industry, to which you relate, so you decide to keep your seat next to your new friend.

4. The SFS Hardos
Majors: International Economics or International Political Economy

You may notice conversations taking place in multiple foreign languages. There is no doubt that some, if not most, of these students had better résumés as high school freshmen than you will as a Georgetown senior. They probably already have plans to climb the corporate hierarchy and totally revamp the company’s policies in the first two years after graduation. Meanwhile, you’re just hoping to not be fired and maybe even have some form of a significant other at that point in your life. Somehow, their career in banking relates to their ultimate life goals of becoming Secretary-General of the U.N. and/or President of the United States (after being CEO of the bank, of course).

5. The Unsure
Major: Undecided, duh.

Here is where you find yourself (or maybe that’s just me). You heard through the weekly email update from your respective school that a bank is coming to Georgetown that employs several alumni from your school. You do some research and find out that there’s actually something within the bank relevant to your major! You show up and quickly realize that this information session was geared more toward the financial-minded students, but you stay put out of respect and curiosity. You’ve never learned this much about the finance world because your Econ professor can’t keep your attention for more than five minutes, so you might as well try to pay attention now!

6. The Returning Students

Sitting in the front of the event, there are probably a few younger-looking professionals who happen to be students that have already signed with the company for a post-graduation job. Slightly uncomfortable yet also humored by the number of underclassmen scrambling for their former positions, these students amble around the room while the go-getters rush up to them and ask them about their favorite and least favorite parts of the company. These students are probably hoping to GTFO and head to Tombs ASAP.

7. Apathetic Wanders
Major: Mystery

As the last of the students file in as the session starts, a bright color catches your eye in the back. A single student, a lone ranger wanders in wearing a big, fat Hawaiian shirt. Completing the outfit with shorts and flip flops, he/she takes the absolute last spot in the room and leans against the wall. As soon as the presentation ends and the floor opens up for networking, your hero disappears from sight as he/she books it.

Happy recruiting season, Hoyas! May the odds be ever in your favor (and not that of the person sitting next to you).

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, usa network.com

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Georgetown Buildings and the Hoyas You Find in Them

Welcome back to the Hilltop, Hoyas! With the first full weeks of classes upon us, you are likely still navigating your way to new buildings and classes, trying to get the hang of your new schedule. From debatably fictitious buildings like Maguire (pro-tip: it’s connected to Healy), to St. Mary’s – located even farther away than Darnall, to the labyrinth affectionately known as the ICC, to spaces within buildings that have their own designations (Sellinger Lounge?) – Georgetown seems to pride itself on the complexity of its campus layout. Alongside simply figuring out where your classes are and how you can get to them, you should also know the secrets required to assimilate into each building’s culture. Fear not—4E presents you with a quick analysis of the types of people that characterize some of the most popular buildings on campus.

Regents Hall

If the students around you look like they spent the night here, it is probably because they did. The aesthetic is pants, long sleeves, and closed-toe shoes, easily accessorized with lab goggles and a white coat. Lab chic, amiright? Safety is beauty. You know that you are in the right place if you are overhearing an excessive number of acronyms and words that may or may not be in the English language. Looking to fit in? Tell someone that you spent the afternoon doing a lab involving <insert long and complicated made-up word> acid.

Buzzwords: Erlenmeyer flask, formal lab report, pipette, preliminary plan of action, fume hood.

The ICC

Making their way around one of Georgetown’s most iconic and confusing buildings are Bill Clinton-esque prodigies, people whispering to themselves in languages other than English and an understandably large number of people who are utterly lost. You will likely come across some upshot nice students engaged in a heated argument with a PhD-armed professor who is kindly indulging their arrogant interesting ideas.

Buzzwords: proficiency test, pro-seminar, Map of Modern World, and an excessive number of acronyms that are oddly pronounced as words (STIA [stee-yah], IPEC [eye-peck], IPOL [eye-pole], IECO [echo???]) so as to fool all of us common folk not in the SFS [ess-effffffffU-ess].

MSB

You will feel immediately self-conscious upon entering the looming home of the infamous MSBros (and betches!). Surrounded by suit-clad students, you are well aware that you should have worn something other than your go-to cozy Lau-fit for class. Is one’s understanding of “Business Casual” attire considered in the business school admissions process? Very likely, yes.

While you may have been “shhh-ed” merely upon entering the MSB and your new MSBuds might be a little intimidating, don’t worry – underneath their layers of unnecessary dress clothes, the Georgetown MSB-ers tend to be friendly and dependable.

Buzzwords: finance (pronounced: “fen-ants”), interest rates, money and internship.

Reiss

Upon first glance, the inhabitants of Reiss may seem a little downtrodden: under-eye bags are all the rage, the parade in and out of large pre-med lectures appears slightly ominous and students are carting around textbooks large enough to justify foregoing weightlifting at Yates. However, look a little further and you’ll see students passionately gesticulating to each other to explain cool biological processes. You may even find new friends in the peaceful science-nerd oasis commonly known as the Blommer Research Library. Under Reiss’s crumbling (and questionably earthquake safe) façade is a group of passionate, dedicated and proudly nerdy individuals.

Buzzwords: pre-med prereq.’s, Born-Haber Cycle, R-group interactions, electronegativity, proof and lecture-capture.

Car Barn

The designation “CBN” on student schedules is sure to elicit groans as Car Barn is a full FOUR minutes farther than any other location on our ENORMOUS campus (sarcasm aside, I am groaning along with you all).

There are two primary types of Hoyas to be found in the infamous Car Barn. The first category of students is there for Einstein Bagel’s. A large number of students might be observed double-fisting bagels, eager to use a meal swipe at Einstein’s and substitute a bagel AND a smoothie for Leo’s questionable scrambled eggs.

The second group of Hoyas is involved in a Study Abroad program. You will find students excitingly chattering about their experiences studying or plans to study in exotic locations. My personal theory is that the Office of Global Education chose their Car Barn location knowing full well that students who recently spent time on the other side of the globe think nothing of walking a few blocks off of campus.

Buzzwords: strawberry-banana smoothie, “toasted, please,” language requirement and study proposal form.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

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So You Need A Halloween Costume?

Banner - CostumesWe’re almost two weeks out from Halloween, and even though we’ve been celebrating and talking about it since mid-April, it’s actually time to get ~serious~. If there’s one thing we all know for sure, it’s that Halloween isn’t so much about having fun as it is about getting a new killer cover photo or breaking 200 likes on your Instagram pic. With the help of 4E, you have four solid, not totally atrocious nor totally basic costumes to choose from. Better yet, they’re all tailored to Georgetown, so it reduces the likelihood that that one person you hate from your high school will be wearing the same costume as you. With one of these bad boys on, we wager you might even break, like, 300 likes.

 

1. John Carroll (Statue)

statue-of-john-carroll-founder-of-georgetown-university-washington-dc

To start off this list we have a Georgetown classic: the John Carroll statue. I’m tailoring this costume to specifically refer to the statue because I don’t know what John Carroll looks like in non-statue-form, and neither do you. Anyways, this one is great because you can decide how far you want to go with it, you can keep it simple and wear a long sleeve shirt and wrap a sheet around your lower half or you can go all the way to statue-mime-street-artist.

This costume will also buy you at least like 15-20 minutes of good, solid attention at any party you walk into, and once everyone is over it, just saunter right on to the next party.

*Sexy “John Carroll”: for girls this just means making the skirt shorter. For guys, no need for a sexy upgrade: the freshman girls will already be crawling up on you to take pictures with you. I mean, that’s what the John Carroll statue was intended for, right?

2. MSBro

Screen Shot 2016-10-12 at 11.51.37 AM

Does this one even need explaining? The multiple layers of polos (extra points for Vineyard Vines brand) are both warm and super stylish, the rest are lifestyle choices if you truly want to commit to the character. Alternatives include a SigEp shirt or even a Goldman Sachs zip-up you got from your internship over the summer. Both are great options.

Pursue this costume with reckless inhibition. Who cares that Halloween is on a Monday? You weren’t going to go to class anyways!

3. Jack the Bulldog

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A potential downside to this costume is that for the ladies, it may be slightly more difficult to stand out among the abyss of other animal-eared gals, especially when being a cat for Halloween is basically the same thing as wearing Stan Smith’s on campus…we’ve all done it and we’re all guilty. But whatever–the upside to this costume is that, like most animal-themed costumes, it’s really easy to make this sexy.

Dog ears + Georgetown crop top and maybe even some dog face paint (if you’re willing to try out that Instagram DIY against your better judgement) = perfect five minute costume and you’re not even going to have to use the snapchat dog filter all night!

Seriously, don’t use the dog filter with this costume, its too meta and you’ll probably end up looking something like:

 

4. Chesapeake Babe

Screen Shot 2016-10-11 at 9.42.58 PM

This is every Georgetown girl’s last minute costume. Just throw on your Lilly Pulitzer shift dress, Jack Rogers (obviously the gold ones), navy LongChamp (all which should have been included in your welcome package) and you’re good to go. Oh, and for the hair, just take the two pieces around your face and clip those bad boys together in the back. Bonus points: bring a Martha’s Vineyard windbreak in case, like, it gets chilly.

Sexy version: Try a two piece Lilly set; some of the skirts are seriously short and you can always throw on a monogram necklace or some Cartier love bracelets to spice things up.

Enjoy every moment because this is the one night in the Georgetown/DC area that you could stand out wearing any combination of these items.

Show up to the party with a few of your friends and start talking about Nantucket and how Exeter parties were so much better than the ones here:

If you don’t have something to wear yet, then you def need to get yourself together and take one of our suggestions. Don’t be too picky or you’ll end up wearing some stupid banana suit you got from a friend-of-a-friend under some bed in New South. Beggars can’t be choosers and these next two weeks are crunch time.

And in case you thought you finally found a Halloween-related post without a Mean Girls reference or gif: SURPRISE! Happy Hoyaween!

Photos/Gifs: pinterest.com, huffingtonpost.com, wikipedia.com, lilypulitzer.com, iwalk-free.com

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What to Expect from GU Nightclub’s First Party

GU Nightclub

Here at 4E, we love to party. So naturally, we are more than excited for the first GU Nightclub party, coming this Friday. We’ve waited an eternity for something that could finally live up to the exceptionally high standards that Club Lau set for us during that fateful weekend freshman year and that something has finally arrived.

We’ve compiled a list of our hopes and dreams for the opening night, all of which have been carefully compared to observed phenomena at local club and bar scenes and are totally legitimate. (Failure to achieve at least three of these expectations will result in a blog-wide boycott of future GU Nightclub events.)

Losing half your weight in sweat
Any good nightclub will keep the music so bumpin’ (2000s hip hop, anybody?) that you can’t help but dance. Dancing is scientifically proven to burn over 400 calories an hour. If you dance for two hours and adjust your mini skirt at least five times, you should lose over six pounds in water weight — guaranteed.

A Jesuit breakdancing competition
It’s common knowledge that priests are good at feeling emotions – what’s stopping them from feeling the beat? When the Jesuits take off their white collars and unbutton those top buttons, you know it’s going down. They’re all about that bass, ’bout that bass, no treble.

Open bar with Coke and Sprite (read: high school prom)
Leave your fake IDs at home, kids, and enjoy some carbonated and somewhat questionable “punch” free of charge.

An influx of pre-med students
With the first orgo and physics exams out of the way, even the biggest try-hards will recognize that this is the premiere event of the semester. They will crowd the doorways and, while their complaints about biology problem sets will initially drown out the music, they will quickly lower their voices and dance the night away.

The ability to dance with an MSBro without being judged
You know that cute boy who struts around campus in his new suit and shiny shoes but definitely sold his soul to some consulting company? Your friends tell you to stay away, but GU Nightclub says this is the place.

Celebrity selfie ops
Whether it’s with Taylor Swift stopping by on her way to the Verizon Center or a cardboard cut-out of President Obama stolen from the College Democrats, nothing livens up a dull Facebook page like a photo with someone famous you may or may not have met.

Balance between serious dance and ratchet rap songs
Everything from “Come On Eileen” to “Black Widow” to “Rather Be”. If they don’t play “Anaconda,” my anaconda don’t ever want to go back.

We will send our love, best wishes and potentially intoxicated (with excitement) bodies to Bulldog Alley Saturday night, ready to get down in true club style. If you missed Club Lau, lost your fake ID or don’t know what a “club” actually is, join us there!

Photo: cloudfront.net