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To the Misunderstood Majors

It’s that time of year again, when a whole new cohort of sophomores sets out to choose which major they want to cry over for two more years. Each department picks out its best outfit and lines, naive enough to think they’ll have a chance of beating government but quickly humbled by the lack of phone calls asking for a second Leo’s date. Don’t worry, this stops today — this is a list made for all of the majors pushed aside and hidden from the limelight, like a freshman in Darnall. This is for you: 

To Classics:

You may be ancient, but you have aged like fine wine. A true classic beauty that some would even say resembles the likeness of a Greek god. Given a little consideration, students will Rome in flocks to meet you on the third floor of Healy — to heal your broken heart. 

To American Musical Culture: 

You’ve been a little bit out of tune, huh? Don’t worry — no one noticed with your great composer. Always remember, you AmeriCAN get those prospective newcomers. 

To Linguistics: 

You may need to work on your communication. Once you learn to not overanalyze, the conversations will seem a lot less daunting, and I alphaBET you’ll be number one!

To Theater and Performance Studies: 

We know you don’t play around, so it’s no act when we say you hold a special place in our hearts and deserve all of our props. The talent you craft is a gift curtsy of your amazing faculty, tied together with the perfect bow. 

To Computer Science:

You’re on this list because you software your heart on your sleeve but are still looking for that someone to find the key to it. Hint: It’s QWERTY. Get ready for the influx of applications and try not to file too many away. They may call the MSBros snakes, but we all know you’re the real python.

To Physics:

In no way are you an absolute zero, but for sure a solid seven and a half. Some stand out qualities: you give off great energy, you care about what matters, you’ve never broken a law, you love a good jam session to “Free Fallin’” and they don’t call you the Big Bang for nothing!

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Halloween Costumes for Hoyas From Every School

Fellow Hoyas, prepare yourselves. Spooky szn is descending upon us — and no, I’m not referring to the sudden ubiquity of dead rodents on campus.

That’s right: It’s almost Halloween, and if you’re not interested in frantically scouring the clearance bins of every store on M Street the day before ~Halloweekend~ begins, it’s time to start thinking. Luckily, you have us lovely folks at 4E here to guide you in picking the right costume to impress that cutie from “Problem of God.”

1. For the MSBro:

You’ve been wearing stiff suits every day, Birding from your dorm to the MSB to recruitment events and investment banking job interviews like a maniac. It’s time to let loose, Brad! Shed that Brooks Brothers jacket, kick off your Gucci loafers and go a little crazy. Hugh Hefner is the perfect costume for you this Halloween — comfortable and relaxed, but still on brand.

image
This could be you, Chad!

What you’ll need for this costume: A silk robe and preferably some gray hair spray. The pipe optional, but respect that Hugh would never Juul.

2. For the NHS-er:

THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE, NHS. You have the one thing no other school at Georgetown has: scrubs. Go as your favorite “Grey’s Anatomy” character — AKA literally anyone but Izzie — and carry around some lollipops for bonus points. Just be careful not to be too convincing in your costume, or you’ll become the de facto GERMS dispatcher of the night, holding back your friends’ hair near the bushes of Henle Village.

You, breaking it down at the Henle in total and complete comfort as all your friends complain about their costumes being uncomfortable.

When your friend slips on some soda and thinks they broke their ankle, you can put those freshman bio class #skillz to use and tell them to rally!

What you’ll need: scrubs, maybe some lollipops and your charming self.

3. For the SFS-er:

You need the world to know both that you’re in the SFS and that you are ~politically conscious.~ You don’t just get CNN notifications on your phone — you listen to podcasts and read think-pieces as you run from “Map of the Modern World” to “I-Trade” (both of which are SFS core requirements, which the SFS has a lot of, which you have to take because you’re…in the SFS). That’s why for Halloween you should go as the anonymous New York Times Trump op-ed! Intelligence and worldliness with a little bit of ~mystery~ is what you’re all about, and this is the perfect costume to show the world what ya got — and leave them wanting more.

That's REALLY reaching! Online retailer Yandy is selling a 'sexy anonymous op-ed' costume

What you’ll need: This costume exactly (and for people to know you’re in the SFS. That’s the Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service, or SFS for short).

4. The College Kid:

While all your friends in other schools at Georgetown talk about their focus and their requirements and how their school is ~different,~ you have opted for a liberal arts education and greater breadth of majors/paths of study. You can’t be put in a box. Some might even say you … Can’t Be Tamed.

To capture the true variety of the College, grab a few pals from the largest of the undergraduate schools here on the Hilltop, and go as Miley Cyrus through the ages. The theater kid can embrace Miley’s performative versatility and go as Hannah Montana, while your JUPS major friend can be this new hippie Miley who meditates and enjoys her ~greens.~ There’s something for everyone!

What you’ll need: A few friends, some bleach to dye your hair and a readiness to stick your tongue out in every picture.

With these suggestions in mind, go forth and conquer those pre-Halloween costume-picking scaries! And if you’re really pressed and need a scary costume ASAP, write “70k” on a shirt and go as the scariest thing of them all: our tuition. Happy Hoya-ween!

Sources: giphy.com, esquire.com, dailymail.co.uk, savers.com

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What Your Georgetown Study Spot Says About You

Less than a month into the school year and it’s already ~midterm szn~. As Hoyas are still recovering from the aftermath of homecoming and the unfortunate loss of Wingo’s (I still don’t want to talk about it), we are nonetheless forced to transition from our summertime laziness into the academic school year.

Whether you study diligently on Lau 2 or walk into the classroom not knowing you even had an exam, here are what your Hilltop study spots say about you:

MSB

MSBro by day and white button-down/Gucci Belt enthusiast by night, you dive into the textbooks in order to someday become a big-balling investment banker. You’re probably that person who not only brings an abundance of pens to class, but also refuses to lend any of them them to anyone. On a Saturday night, we can find you generously hosting a pre-game but also anxiously telling your friends to “SHUT UP AND HIDE  EVERYTHING” at the sound of a suspiciously loud knock on your door. Although you epitomize the “my daddy is richer than yours” complex, we still appreciate your ability to work hard and play hard– especially when you’re flaunting your clout goggles in the basement of a sweaty GPB party.

Lau

Whether you’re working on Lau 2 or Lau 5, we all know you only dragged yourself here because you have to pull an all-nighter. Odds are you ‘prefer’ to buy Burnetts simply because it’s the cheapest option. You are also probably that perpetually sick person who coughs every ten seconds during a 200-person lecture in the ICC (it’s okay though, we understand that setting up an appointment at the health center is literally impossible, so you’re excused). The lock screen on your iPhone is most likely still a screenshot of your schedule, and you are ~wild~ enough to address your professors by their first names in emails. Despite all this, we at 4E applaud anyone who chooses to spend time in the ugliest building on campus.

Bioethics Library

If you’re a girl, you probably paid for Premium Vsco X, and if you’re a guy, you probably pay for meals at Epi instead of using your meal swipes at Leo’s or Royal Jacket. Your motto is “fiscally conservative and socially liberal”, and there’s no way you’re not showing up to every SAE darty without knowing a single person there. Yates? Never heard of her– your boujee ass goes to Soul Cycle. You constantly talk about how much you love DC, yet you take a plane to NYC every weekend.

Front Lawn 

You truly believe that you are the Georgetown Poster Child, signing up for every club at CAB Fair and insta-storying in front of the John Carroll Statue. If you ran for GUSA, your campaign most definitely promised to “lower tuition” and “add Chick-Fil-A to the meal plan”. If Jack the Bulldog is walking around , you’re bound to stop whatever you’re doing to document it on an ~unnecessarily~ long Snapchat story. You probably got GERMSd at Club Lau (RIP) and speak Intermediate II Spanish while lit at sweaty Henles.

Your Room

In just ten hours of studying, you can accomplish an astounding twenty minutes of work! Of all the personalities we have covered, you are by far the laziest, as shown by the fact that you refuse to leave your humble abode. You would rather wait ten minutes for the Walsh elevator to go from floor 1 to 3, and your primary roommate tension stems from your refusal to abandon your comfortable bed when it’s time to get sexiled. If it rains (s/o every day for the past two weeks), you will hold yourself hostage in your own room, even if that means resorting to calling Wisey’s for delivery. Chances are you’re getting absolutely no work done and are either playing video games, watching cooking videos on Youtube, or napping.

Wherever you decide to study, we at 4E are impressed that you’re at least attempting to be an ~academic weapon~. Your parents are proud. Happy studying to all the Hoyas, and good luck on your midterms!

 

Sources: giphy.com, hercampus.com

 

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What Clubs Famous People Would Be In At Georgetown

As one of the top 20 schools in the U.S. (and home to the hottest college men, according to Tinder), Georgetown is generally accepted as a place for the ~elite~.

We’re not an Ivy but… yeah, pretty much.

While a fair number of VIPs have walked these hallowed halls (I sometimes daydream about running into Bradley Cooper in the dish return at Leo’s), with a 16% acceptance rate, it’s hard to “catch ‘em all.”

I still cringe…

Once you’ve figured out what famous Hoya you are, come take a break from procrastinating for finals reality with me and imagine what clubs your favorite celebs would be in if they had sported the good ol’ blue and gray.

*wipes away tear*

The Kardashians – Thirty-Seventh

We all know that these gals enjoy the finer things in life. I can’t attest to their academic aspirations, but I have a good feeling that if Kardashoyans existed, they would be major contributors to Georgetown’s premier lifestyle and fashion blog. #Yeezys #For #All

If you stop reading 4E, Kim will be mad. 

Emma Watson – Blue and Gray

This is the friend that you want to hate but can’t because they’re just too nice. Smart, beautiful, vaguely international—they make Georgetown look damn good. You may resent this pal’s borderline *magical* talents, but you have to admit that this kid is going places.

A typical Georgetown know-it-all.

Mark Ruffalo – The Corp

To all my Ruffalovers out there, this one’s for you. This Bernie Bro can sport a knit fleece like no other, and will engage you in a long-winded discussion on conspiracy theories if you so much as whisper the words “inside job.” Can’t you imagine the man behind The Hulk, once dubbed a “sentient farmer’s market,” serving you your double shot of espresso at Midnight MUG with a crinkly, good-natured smile? We know we can.

That woven bracelet tho :-O

Ivanka Trump – GUASFCU

The First Daughter was a student in the MSB for two years before transferring to Penn (*cough* complicit). Her penchant for fancy shoes and ambiguous business buzz-words would make her a prime candidate for Georgetown’s most prestigious financial association.

If you don’t sleep in a suit, are you really an MSBro?

Zac Efron – GUGS

The High School Musical and Neighbors star is truly a man of the people. For this reason, he’d be a member of one of Georgetown’s most accepting clubs, flipping delicious meat spheres burgers for the masses on Friday afternoons. *sings We’re All In This Together with added enthusiasm*

 
If only Georgetown had real frats…
 
 
Stay warm, people. If Bradley Cooper made it through finals, so can we.
 
 
Photos/GIFS: youtube.com, giphy.com, fastccompany.net
 
 
 
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Takeaways From a Semester at Georgetown

Congratulations! You made it through first semester (barely). But now you’ve returned wiser, crazier, somehow smarter and definitely fatter! This is what I’ve learned after my first semester of freshman year. Let’s go.

1. Clubs aren’t as big of a deal as they were first semester. If you don’t get into the clubs you want this semester, it’s honestly okay. You have friends now :’)


2. Ask a friend from MSB to print out that paper for you. We basically have unlimited printing. There’s no way we can use all 1,500 pages in a single semester.


3. There’s a method to falling asleep in class. Basically, after you meet eyes with the professor after dozing off, master this face for as long as possible:

4. Take every opportunity to explore and get involved in D.C. First semester is already over and before we know it, this year will be gone. College is short, so savor it.


5. There’s a bus to Safeway in front of Darnall that leaves every 20 minutes after 2 PM. You do not have to walk there.

I repeat:

You do not have to walk there.

6. If you haven’t stolen anything from Leo’s, you’re doing Georgetown wrong. Mugs, forks, spoons, 15 bananas, the panini press–whatever it is, take it. Except the waffle maker. Don’t ruin everyone’s day.

7. You will never stop running into that one specific hookup. It’s a given.

8. Your philosophy class probably sounds something like this:


9. On Thursdays in MSB, there are free bagels, juice, and coffee around 10 AM. Go and grab one, even if you’re not in MSB; it’s scheming time.

10. Time to hit the gym this time around!

And that’s it folks. We got this.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

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Attack Of The Doors: Part II

Banner - Bad DoorsI am about to write about something very important to me, something that should also be very important to you. I am giving the people what they want: another article about doors.

1. Leo’s Doors: WHY are they so hard to open? Sometimes, I am absolutely starving. All I want is my chipotle mayo from the panini press. Why do these horrible doors stand in my way? Maybe, there is someone else, going through the right set of doors, racing to the one swiper on duty. I’m hungry, I need to be there first, but I am milliseconds behind because of the doors on the left.

2. Reiss Doors: There is nothing inherently wrong with the doors themselves. However, it is not a double set of doors. Going into my giant philosophy lecture, standing in the Reiss foyer, I expect warmth and shelter. Instead, I find myself needing a Canada Goose, as, after all, they are made for the arctic tundra.

3. HFSC Doors: There is no rhyme or reason to these doors. Some days, you can use these doors for a shortcut through the student center. Other days, they are locked. There is no pattern. All it leads to is me looking dumb.

4. Business School Doors: Leaving the undergraduate commons, there is a handy exit leading outside. However, there is no contraption at the top to close the door after opening. Why? Must I slam this door? Sometimes people forget to close it, letting in the cold air. Now I have to get up out of my seat and close it myself. What is this heresy?

 

However, I don’t hate all doors on campus. I can do more than just complain. The Walsh doors, the ones that open automatically, are my absolute favorites.

 

Photos/Gifs: noblegroupwindows.com, dailydot.com, tumblr.com

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ABC’s of the Hilltop

Banner - DictionaryWelcome current and future Hoyas alike! As you may know or will soon find out, here at Georgetown, we speak in code. Conversations are permeated by acronyms, phrases, and nicknames known only to Georgetown students, and are expected to be understood by all Hoyas on campus. All in all, it can be a bit overwhelming to try to keep up with at first. Lucky for you, 4E is here with the first edition of the Georgetown Dictionary to help you navigate these tricky waters, be it on your GAAP weekend, during New Student Orientation, or late in your junior year, too embarrassed to ask where Maguire Hall is.

Let’s go.

The Schools

1. “MSB“- The McDonough School of Business. “MSB” also is colloquially used as a location. You don’t go to the  Rafik Hariri Building, where the “McDonough School of Business holds classes; you go to the “MSB.” You can see how this gets confusing.

2. “SFS“- The Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service. Sadly, the school=building logic of the MSB does not follow in the SFS, as the Walsh Building located outside the front gates on 36th Street is not called the “SFS.” The SFS is the school Bill Clinton was in when he studied here.

And those SFSers will never let you forget that!

3. “NHS“- School of Nursing & Health Studies. Repeat after me: not every student in the NHS is a nurse. Non-nursing majors in the NHS are adamant about this. Keep it in mind!

4. “The College“- This is Georgetown College, the largest of the four schools for Georgetown undergrad. Unlike the other three schools, it is not known by its acronym “GC.” Don’t make this mistake. I tell you from experience.

Places to Know

  1. “Yates“- Yates Field House, aka, the gym on campus. It has a smell of stale sweat and chlorine. You’ll love it! In fact, the administration knows you’ll love it so much that they’ll include your gym membership to Yates in your tuition! Yahoo!

    2. “Lau“- Lauinger Library. It’s the giant grey slab of cement on the south side of campus. You may have first heard of Lau during NSO where they’ll promote “Club Lau” as one of the nighttime activities. Without giving anything away, I’ll tell you that you may meet your best friend at Club Lau (I did) and/or you may not ever be able to look at the third floor quiet room the same way ever again (or maybe that’s just me).

    3. “Wisey’s“- Some hotshot with an older brother who graduated from Georgetown 10 years ago will try to impress you this GAAP weekend by saying he’s “skipping the catered lunch in Gaston and heading to Wisey’s for a Hot Chick.”
    Let’s clear this up. “Wisey’s” is Wisemiller’s Grocery & Deli, found on 36th Street across from the Walsh building. This is not to be confused with the other “Wisey’s” (a sister take-out location) on Wisconsin Ave., which is known as “Healthy Wisey’s.” Wisey’s is home to a smorgasbord of great sandwiches, but is best know for two game-winners: the Hot Chick and the Chicken Madness. These sandwiches are so well-known at Georgetown that they had their own ballot on this year’s GUSA election. I wish I were joking.

    4. “Tombs“- Has a Georgetown student’s experience even begun without a meal at The Tombs? I don’t think so. The Tombs is a Hilltop classic, an dimly lit American style restaurant you will frequent as a freshman for Saturday lunch, as a sophomore for birthday dinners, as a junior for a hungover Sunday brunch, and as a senior for Trivia Night and 99 Days of Tombs.

Sayings & Phrases

  1. “NARP”- Non-Athletic Regular Person. Were you on a varsity sport high school? Are you a marathoner? Or are you one of those people who have you never swung a bat, ran a lap, or kicked a soccer ball? Congratulations! You are all the same. If you are not a Varsity athlete at Georgetown, you are a NARP. Case closed.
  2. “an athlete“- An athlete is anyone who is employed by a student of Georgetown University and is additionally a member of a Varsity sports team. If you are “an athlete,” you have special privileges on campus, like getting away with wearing a full sweatsuit to class, and showing off the exclusive Blue & Gray Nike sneakers around campus.
  3. “Hoya Saxa“- This is the official cheer of Georgetown University. It literally translates to “What Rocks” from its Latin roots. Show off this fun fact at your next party with this banner joke:
    “Hey friend, do you know what “Hoya Saxa” translates to?”
    “No, you dork, what?”
    “Exactly!”
    Also, it’s always “Hoya Saxa!” and never, ever, EVER “What Rocks!” Don’t do the translation. Just don’t.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, nowikinow.com

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Which Georgetown School Are You?

og_healy_hallFeeling isolated? No one understands you? Struggling with your sense of self and purpose? Not the smartest kid anymore? Don’t worry, this has nothing to do with your overinflated sense of self being confronted with the real world for the first time. You’re just in the wrong school! Take this easy quiz to find out with 110% accuracy which school you should transfer into, thereby fixing all your problems.

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/thefourthedition10/which-georgetown-school-do-you-actually-belong-in”]

Photos: georgetown.edu

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Free Hoya Headshots!

headshots

If you are not like me and did not take a million and a half photos this weekend, get ready for your chance to redeem yourself!

Starting yesterday, Apr. 12, and continuing until Friday, Valerie Sanchez Photography will be taking free professional headshots to anyone interested.

While you do need to preregister for this photoshoot, there is nothing else stopping you from taking advantage of this awesome opportunity.

These photoshoots will be happening in the MSB and Heal Fam Stu Cen and the extensive schedule can be found on the Facebook event.

So what could you use these headshots for?

You could use them to update your identification. Why look anything less than flawless?

You can use them to send to your lovers, haters and everyone in between.

tumblr_mb18onUjDs1qfdwsio1_500

You can use them as your new phone, computer, iPad backgrounds. 

You can use them to make personalized stickers of your face.

Or you can just Insta it. Likes on likes on likes. 

giphy

Say goodbye to mediocre and hello to flawless!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com; tumblr.com; Facebook.com

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What Your Favorite Study Spot Says About You

Study Spot

We all have that place. It’s where, when the going gets tough, we hunker down and bust out that paper due in T-minus five hours, or cram as much information into our already occupied coffee-addicted minds. You could say that where you study is almost as important as what you’re studying. Which is why we at 4E have taken the time to prepare a little cheat sheet — not about econ or orgo but about what your favorite study place really says about you.

Lau 2

You thrive in chaos. You’re a social butterfly; however, you also suffer from extreme FOMO. You spend your weeknights sitting around a table with all of your best buds and the perfect view of the Midnight Mug line. You are either a connoisseur in the art of procrastinating or you really can get work done in the middle of pure pandemonium. If you are the latter, I commend you — you’ll survive in this world.

 

Hariri (MSB)

You are most likely in the business school or you just want to snag that booth. You are practical because you know that there will always be an outlet and it will usually be fairly quiet, until that 9 p.m. graduate business class gets out. You have an appreciation for the finer things as you soak up the light and airy ambiance of the MSB. Not to mention the bathrooms are pretty sweet.

Copley Lawn

You love the outdoors and want to embrace all and any good weather that comes along. You may suffer from seasonal depression, but when that first beautiful spring day hits campus, you’re the first one to snag the sunniest spot. You thrive while sprawled out on your plush blanket that you brought to college specifically for these lawn days. You are usually laid-back and carefree until the end of November and you see your precious lawn dusted with a layer of snow. Sorry if these next few months are a little rough for you.

 

Saxbys

You like some human interaction, but you are not willing to endure the chaos that ensues on Lau 2. You are rather sophisticated, people-watching, sipping your coffee and listening to your fantastic Spotify playlist. You like to feel cozy and independent as you rigorously study on the tiny table that can barely fit your laptop, coffee and notebook.

Regents

If you study in Regents you are either one or both of these things: Someone who has an established relationship with the Einstein’s swiper lady (because you take a bagel break more often than you should and need to be in close proximity to food), and/or a pre-med or science major and you only see the outside world from this building’s beautiful formula-filled windows. If you are one of the latter, you may feel at times that your social life is lacking, but have no fear. All of that studying will pay off … well, hopefully.

This campus is filled with an endless array of study spots that do not include the confines of your room. In the last few weeks of this semester, go explore these spots and at least try to study.

Gifs: giphy.com; Photo: payette.com