Hilltop Hacks: Productive Procrastination

Banner - Productive ProcrastinationHappy midterm season, Hoyas! While it may be crunch-time in the classroom, you can only run on a double-shot of espresso from Midnight for so long; you should treat yourself! What I’m talking about here is productive procrastination: distractions you can feel good about. The key to productive procrastination is overdoing it and doing it well. 4E is here to show you how.

  1. Did someone accidentally jump into your Village B wall the other night and leave a gaping hole? Well, what better time than now to fix it? File that maintenance request, and while you’re at it, why not explore the other failings of your crumbling apartment? Does the right faucet in the bathroom leak? Is the outlet closest to the couch failing to charge your laptop? And what about that mysterious stain on your couch cushion left over from last year’s occupants? File them all away into the interweb for maintenance to deal with while you’re gone.
  2. Cleanse your Facebook friends. Let’s face it, you probably don’t need to be friends with the old middle school meathead or that chick from the DC Summer Conference you attended during your sophomore year summer. Here’s a tip from a serial friend-remover: Check out your Facebook birthday list. If it’s their special day and you don’t feel inclined to send them good wishes, delete ’em. But don’t stop at just this month’s birthdays; purge through April’s and May’s while you’re at it. You don’t need all that newsfeed clutter anyway.
  3. Cook e v e r y t h i n g in your refrigerator. By Friday, you’ll be packing your bags to head to little old Oyster Bay Barbados and you do not want that Trader Joe’s Alaskan Salmon getting too, uh, ripe. Save yourself the stank and prune through all of your perishables. Otherwise, you’ll be coming back to a kitchen that will make you go…
  4. Speaking of Spring Break, what better way to use your wandering brain waves than trolling around Trip Advisor for “25 Best Things to Do in Cancun” ? There’s nothing worse than arriving at your gorgeous Best Western Motel all-expense paid trip and having no idea what to do next. Is there a local zoo with a rare snake exhibit? What about a modern art showcase on the intricacies of recyclable beauty? Oh, wait, is that a Groupon for bottomless mojitos and tortilla chips after 10 AM at the Crazy Frog?

    And if you don’t know, now you know.
  5. And finally, as I’m sure you haven’t called your mom except in a stressed-out, crying fit all week, give her a ring. If anything, calling now will lessen how angry she’ll feel about the inevitable “I need $100 in my bank account mom, please. This is the last time, I promise” text you send her next week. But while you’re at it, call Grandma, Aunt Sue, your long-distance ex-but-not-really-ex-girlfriend; why not? On second thought, maybe it’s best to just text dad and ask to Facetime with the dog. You do have tests to study for, after all!

Photos/Gifs: appliedvisionworks.com, giphy.com

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge Meet Dikembe Mutombo

Will and Kate at Brooklyn

Breaking news: Last night, a billion worlds collided.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (a.k.a. Prince William and Kate Middleton), as part of their three-day trip to America, attended the Nets-Cavaliers NBA game at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn.

“Sounds cool,” you’re probably thinking, “but what does this have to do with me, a Hoya and a lover of Beyoncé and/or Jay-Z?”

Sound the alarm! Kate and Will met both the unofficial American royal couple as well as a remarkable Georgetown alum, Dikembe Mutombo. For those who don’t know, Mutombo was a powerful defensive player for the basketball team back in the late 80s-early 90s, who was also very successful in the NBA. He also starred in a stellar Geico commercial.

How can I Photoshop myself into this photo???

And here’s Beyoncé and Jay-Z chatting with the royal couple:

Will and Kate also met LeBron James, who gave them both Cavaliers jerseys.

To round off this exciting and kind of hilarious news, enjoy this video of Dikembe Mutombo sharing popcorn with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Thanks to For the Win at USA Today for the info!

Photos: gofugyourself.com, dailymail.co.uk, eonline.com