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What Your Georgetown Study Spot Says About You

Less than a month into the school year and it’s already ~midterm szn~. As Hoyas are still recovering from the aftermath of homecoming and the unfortunate loss of Wingo’s (I still don’t want to talk about it), we are nonetheless forced to transition from our summertime laziness into the academic school year.

Whether you study diligently on Lau 2 or walk into the classroom not knowing you even had an exam, here are what your Hilltop study spots say about you:

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MSBro by day and white button-down/Gucci Belt enthusiast by night, you dive into the textbooks in order to someday become a big-balling investment banker. You’re probably that person who not only brings an abundance of pens to class, but also refuses to lend any of them them to anyone. On a Saturday night, we can find you generously hosting a pre-game but also anxiously telling your friends to “SHUT UP AND HIDE  EVERYTHING” at the sound of a suspiciously loud knock on your door. Although you epitomize the “my daddy is richer than yours” complex, we still appreciate your ability to work hard and play hard– especially when you’re flaunting your clout goggles in the basement of a sweaty GPB party.

Lau

Whether you’re working on Lau 2 or Lau 5, we all know you only dragged yourself here because you have to pull an all-nighter. Odds are you ‘prefer’ to buy Burnetts simply because it’s the cheapest option. You are also probably that perpetually sick person who coughs every ten seconds during a 200-person lecture in the ICC (it’s okay though, we understand that setting up an appointment at the health center is literally impossible, so you’re excused). The lock screen on your iPhone is most likely still a screenshot of your schedule, and you are ~wild~ enough to address your professors by their first names in emails. Despite all this, we at 4E applaud anyone who chooses to spend time in the ugliest building on campus.

Bioethics Library

If you’re a girl, you probably paid for Premium Vsco X, and if you’re a guy, you probably pay for meals at Epi instead of using your meal swipes at Leo’s or Royal Jacket. Your motto is “fiscally conservative and socially liberal”, and there’s no way you’re not showing up to every SAE darty without knowing a single person there. Yates? Never heard of her– your boujee ass goes to Soul Cycle. You constantly talk about how much you love DC, yet you take a plane to NYC every weekend.

Front Lawn 

You truly believe that you are the Georgetown Poster Child, signing up for every club at CAB Fair and insta-storying in front of the John Carroll Statue. If you ran for GUSA, your campaign most definitely promised to “lower tuition” and “add Chick-Fil-A to the meal plan”. If Jack the Bulldog is walking around , you’re bound to stop whatever you’re doing to document it on an ~unnecessarily~ long Snapchat story. You probably got GERMSd at Club Lau (RIP) and speak Intermediate II Spanish while lit at sweaty Henles.

Your Room

In just ten hours of studying, you can accomplish an astounding twenty minutes of work! Of all the personalities we have covered, you are by far the laziest, as shown by the fact that you refuse to leave your humble abode. You would rather wait ten minutes for the Walsh elevator to go from floor 1 to 3, and your primary roommate tension stems from your refusal to abandon your comfortable bed when it’s time to get sexiled. If it rains (s/o every day for the past two weeks), you will hold yourself hostage in your own room, even if that means resorting to calling Wisey’s for delivery. Chances are you’re getting absolutely no work done and are either playing video games, watching cooking videos on Youtube, or napping.

Wherever you decide to study, we at 4E are impressed that you’re at least attempting to be an ~academic weapon~. Your parents are proud. Happy studying to all the Hoyas, and good luck on your midterms!

 

Sources: giphy.com, hercampus.com

 

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March Sadness: Georgetown Edition

As the real March Madness came to an end, we here at 4E decided to give some ~content~ to all of Hoya Nation who had to sit through another NCAA Tournament without a team to root for.

We all have places on campus where we like to be sad. Whether it’s public, private, has beautiful views, reinforces the stresses of everyday life, allows you to forget about your issues or just involves you staring at your pillow, we all can root for our spots in the first annual March Sadness Bracket Challenge: the end-of-season tournament to determine where exactly is the best place to be sad on campus.

Some Notes

Dahlgren Chapel – Dahlgren is a heavy hitter in terms of sadness. I talked to some of my friends about this one, and they singled out something called “Catholic Guilt.” Since I’m Jewish, I don’t really know what that is. However, I would be super sad if I had to tell someone all of my sins every week because there must be SO many. I am, as they say, a sinner. I don’t exactly know what’s considered a sin, but I feel like I commit at least seven of them every time I watch an episode of “Storage Wars: Texas.”

My Bed – My bed is a great place to think about all the times that my friends have abandoned me (looking at you, Mark) and my family has shown little regard for my feelings. It’s great because if you squeeze the pillow really tight, you actually can’t hear any of the sounds of the cruel outside world.

Back of ICC 214 – The back-left desk of ICC 214 is a great place to be sad. This one is especially true when you get back your chem midterm and it’s not what you expected, even though you studied really hard and answered all the questions coherently but your TA really screwed you and must hate you because of that one time she said liked your sweater and you didn’t understand what she was saying at first so you just kept walking. Maybe this is more of a me problem.

Gaston Hall – Gaston has great acoustics for not only a cappella concerts and Rangila, but also for crying. If you really want to hear yourself cry (that is, bellow all of the half notes and pitch changes of your sobbing), there’s no place like Gaston to sit and bawl.

Yates Steps – Sometimes I like to pretend I’m going to Yates and start to walk up the steps, then I realize the steepness makes those steps really hard to ascend. Naturally, I just turn around most of the time. But that makes me extra sad because not only am I skipping Yates because I’m lazy, but I’m also physically incapable of exerting the necessary amount of energy that will allow me to even start working out. In the end I just cry, which one could argue is a form of exercise for your eyelids.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, capitolhillhotel-dc.com

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Quiz: Are You a SWUG?

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Ah, the age old question. Being a SWUG is an honor that not everyone can achieve. Across the country, and even across time, people have pondered this group of people and tried to earn this coveted status.

For all your NARPs (not defining that for you), “SWUG” stands for “Senior Washed-Up Girl.” That is, a person, typically female, who has seen her glory days pass her by and is content with living a life full of laziness and wine.

Do you have what it takes to be SWUG?

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/thefourthedition10/how-swug-are-you”]

Photos/Gifs: buzzfeed.com

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When Bae (Postmates) Brings You Free Food

postmates

Hold the phone, what? Is this a joke? Am I being punk’d?!

Actually, my friends, I speak the truth: Postmates is offering free delivery of anything you could want this week only!

Earlier this week 4E got an email from the Postmates general store alerting us to this amazing opportunity to get things delivered to our beds for no price at all. Naturally we couldn’t control our excitement. Here is what they advertised:

“From Advil to toothpaste and candy to condoms, we’ve got it all. Order sunscreen and magazines to bring to the beach Solo cups and plates for that last minute barbecue. Simply open the app, 24/7. That’s all folks.”

For those of us who major in laziness and minor in procrastination, this is a dream come true.

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4E specifically suggests you order the following things to celebrate this occassion:

1. That food place you have always been dying to try, but have been too lazy to go to. I’m looking at you, Barcelona Wine Bar.

2. Everything you could possibly ever need from a convenience store. A two-hundred pack of command hooks? Why the hell not, you’ll use them for something!

3. Every meal of the day, from sunrise to sundown. It is August, isn’t work optional now? Start with Bethesda Bagels and go nuts.

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4. The weirdest outfit you can think of from American Apparel. Just think of it as an investment for a future theme party. Follow up, can we talk about the fact that you can order this to be delivered to your house?

5. Your alcohol for the weekend. Sometimes Dixie seems too far and walking is not a thing. Plus, then you can buy in bulk and not have to worry about your arms falling off from the weight of your Burnetts.

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Be right back, about to go spend some serious cash on Postmates. Heaven is a place on Earth.

Photos/Gifs: gurl.com; theodysseyonline.com/; https://byt.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/; bostonmagazine.com

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CHIPOTLE ON WHEELS

addicted-chipotle-burritoOlé, olé!

How many times have you been sitting in your dorm room – wrapped up in blankets and avoiding your responsibilities – and thought to yourself, “Wow! I could really go for a Chipotle burrito right now.”

You immediately come up with 400 reasons not to go to Chipotle: it’s 0.56 miles away, it’s either too hot or cold, there’s a 10% chance of rain, you just put on your ugliest sweatpants…

Okay. We get it. But now, 4E is coming to the rescue with some AMAZING news: you can now order Chipotle directly to your dorm using the Postmates app!

While this news has been known to the lucky few for the last months (including one of our own bloggers; see below), we thought we’d go public with this tremendous information.

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So now you can have Chipotle anywhere with just a few clicks! Goodbye money, hello burritos.

Photos/Gifs: secretmenu.com, mtv.com

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InternTips: A Balancing Act

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Some of you luckier ones out there might still be in that “cool summer job” phase this time around. You know what I mean: lifeguarding, babysitting, camp counseling, etc. — basically anything that’s not supposed to be preparing you for your future career path.

Up until last summer, I was in that boat myself with a cushy job at the local recreation department on the Jersey Shore (no, not that one) that involved a lot of playing sports with little kids and otherwise getting paid to sit around and do nothing. Now I’m taking a class while working a full-time unpaid internship. Go figure.

But that’s not at all to say that I’m looking at Summer 2013 as a wash. If you’re looking to sort out how to handle your commitments this summer while still having a good time, you’ve come to the right place. 4E is here with InternTips. A handy reoccurring post that will help you out with intern life.

Yes, you may no longer have the luxury of that beautifully cushy job where you got paid to tan or watch TV, but that doesn’t mean that it’s time to flip the switch and start working yourself to death. Even legitimate professionals take the summer easier than the rest of the year — people are noticeably less motivated to get work done in their depressing cubicle when it’s hot and sunny outside.

And newsflash: If you are going to be in D.C., it’s going to be extra hot and sunny for you. No one wants you to flood your internship office with your sweat, especially considering the fact that, in all likelihood, YOU’RE NOT EVEN GETTING PAID. So chill out.

That said, let’s not go crazy with the lazy. There’s certainly something to be said for getting a leg up, so constant slacking off just isn’t going to cut it once you’ve gotten to my unfortunate rising junior phase.

Internships are annoying and borderline enslavement, yes, but they also represent your only real chance to secure recommendations to show to future employers. It’s easy from a shortsighted perspective to see why the thought of getting fired from an unpaid internship might actually be kind of nice — you’d make the same amount partying or sitting playing Xbox as you would at that office at McPherson Square, after all.

You’re going to be asked what you did each summer, and you’ll be expected to provide concrete details. Make sure you’ve earned something tangible to say.

Perhaps you’re able to get by at your job by working only when the higher-ups are around, and you trick them into thinking you’re doing stuff. If so, then honestly, congrats, because you’ve managed to beat the system. But for the rest of us, presumably working with/for moderately intelligent people, then you’re going to have to put in the time and put in the effort. It might only be photocopying — which seems to be a great deal of what interns and even lower-level employees are doing nowadays — but it still counts. And it’s really not that difficult. Buck up, and do some work!

Okay, so at this point I’m not sure I can make my ultimate message here any more obvious. Summers can be big in terms of showcasing your legitimate, employable talents: “All right, you’re an A/B/C student. Now let’s see what you can actually do.”

No one in our society anymore seems to be allowed to graduate without at least one internship, which means that those without them aren’t nearly as competitive. Taking classes to boost school-year grades or open up more time during the year (maybe for another internship) can make sense for some people too.

But don’t kill yourself over all of it.

In fact, if you’re the type of kid who feels the need to sacrifice all fun things just to work, then you’re likely also the type of kid who badly needs time off to relax and recharge.

When you get home from your internship or you finish up the day’s classes, allot some “me time” for yourself. Maybe that means throwing your work clothes on the floor, kicking your feet up to watch some TV or just getting away completely and enjoying the weather outside.

At the same time, don’t let yourself do nothing, either. You know the old adage: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” And it will also make you jobless, unmarketable and lazy.

Could a summer of 24/7 work help you toward your goal of running the world one day? Sure. But you can’t sacrifice on treatin’ yourself at least every once in a while. You go to Georgetown; you’ve earned it.

Stay strong out there, Hoyas. And remember: balance.