What’s A Boya?

All Hoya ladies know that, like rats and out-of-order bathroom stalls, f–kboys abound on the Hilltop.

See Snakes of Georgetown to learn about GU’s most prevalent demographic.

The mixture of confidence, political-mindedness and neurosis within Georgetown men is a veritable Molotov cocktail of personality traits, which can be triggered to explode by both academic debate and debauched social gatherings.

Before you accuse me of misandry, a disclaimer: #NotAllMen.

Especially not Armie Hammer and his spectacular dance moves.

Some guys at Georgetown are absolute diamonds — ladies, if you find them, hold on tight. However, some Hoya boys (henceforth known as “Boyas”) are still in a little more of a “coal” phase.

Donald Trump attempting to dig up an alibi, 2017 (colorized).

Love them or hate them — and usually it’s a confusing mixture of both —  Boyas are a group to watch.

Since 2018 is sure to be another year of, like, realizing stuff, please consult this guide to educate yourself on how to spot a Boya, both at a distance and up close.

Side note: Welcome to the world, Stormi!

Without further ado:

1. When he uses the Jesuit values to justify late-night booty calls.

2. If his room has a distinctly “fiscally conservative, socially liberal” aesthetic.

Romney 2012 poster, Vineyard Vines blanket and GUASFCU mug = red flags.

3. When he asks you for your NetID.

Okay, maybe you’re doing a group project together, but ladies, we all know what this guy wants. Sliding into your Gmail is the ~ultimate~ Boya move.

4. If every time you text him “what’s up?” he replies, “at Yates 💪🚨💯.”

Boyas be #gettin #those #gains.

5. If he wears his Patagucci like it’s a uniform.

6. When Chad is the name and ghosting is the game.

 ✌ out.

7. If his party attitude can best be described as “hit it and quit it.”

In conclusion: don’t play yourself.

Patrick Ewing knows what’s up.

Best of luck, ladies! Stay vigilant.

Sources: giphy.com, popkey.com, free-stock-illustration.com

The Mysteries of 2017: A Recap

As 2018 begins, leaving 2017 in the dust, we here at 4E want to make sure you remember all the mysteries past. Don’t forget all the unsolved questions that made 2017 so special!

1. Is Kylie pregnant?

2. Did The Wisey’s Rat™ successfully make its escape from Georgetown? Are it and its four children ~thriving~ ?

3. Does Royal Jacket serve breakfast for a meal swipe? Or is this one just a me problem?

4. Will anyone ever find a quick way to the new Uncommon Grounds (preferably no stairs)?

5. How many more devastating losses will Georgetown men’s basketball have this season?

6. What happened to the @hoyas_eatin_naners account?

7.  How much longer will “Mr. Brightside” be THE Georgetown party song?

8. What new meal will Remy, the Leo’s mascot, cook for us next?

9. Will Bulldog Tavern ever become efficient?

We here at 4E sincerely hope that some of these mysteries will be solved in 2018. See you never @2017!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, attitudemag.com