Confessions of a Confession Page Celeb

DJ

If you follow Georgetown Confessions on Facebook, you may have noticed a trend in recent posts.  Over the past few weeks, there have been several confessions posted about a certain Georgetown cutie who seems to have caught the attention of students across campus.  While he may not be the biggest man on campus, he’s definitely the big man on campus at the moment.  For those of you still in the dark, I’m referring to 4E’s very own D.J. Angelini.

Now of course, you may find yourself asking, “Who is this D.J. Angelini and why is everyone posting about him?”  If such questions have been keeping you up late at night, you’ll be pleased to know that 4E has got you covered. I recently sat down with the man who inspires the confessions to get the exclusive scoop on what life is like as a self-proclaimed “big deal”.  So without further ado, D.J. Angelini …

 How are you handling your newfound fame?  

My newfound fame has definitely been exciting to say the least. My favorite moment was when I was walking in Lau and I overheard this freshman girl say, ‘Really? THAT’S the kid all of these confessions are about? SERIOUSLY!? HIM? I don’t agree…’ I would say that was a defining moment of my sophomore year so far.

 

 

Would you say these confessions are an accurate representation of yourself?

I think we can acknowledge all of these confessions are grossly overblown. I mean, one person wrote that my roommate was better looking than me! Obviously, I don’t agree with that one.

Any idea about who’s writing these confessions? Anything you’d like to say to them?

I have my suspicions about who’s writing these confessions. If I had to guess, it’s probably either the cleaning lady in Regents who roughly (but flirtatiously?) stabs me in the head with the back of her mop to wake me up when I’m taking naps in the wee hours of the morn. Or it’s the lady at Salad Creations who doesn’t charge me when I ask for extra croutons. Either way, I’d be happy. I guess I’d say to them that Georgetown Confessions is not a great way to compliment me. I mean, they only post every two weeks. I can’t wait that long. Just text me or something jeez!

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Do you consider yourself a big deal?

I’ve had five or six people anonymously mention my name in a rarely viewed Georgetown-specific Facebook page frequented by incoming freshmen and five kids studying in Lau on a Friday night. Wouldn’t you say that makes me a big deal?

So there you have it, straight from the Georgetown celeb himself. And for all you Tinder-ers out there, make sure to keep your eye out for D.J.!  He’s been crushing it lately with his right-swipe-to-match ratio (likely due to his new fame and awesome 4E articles).

Photos: Georgetown Confessions and Facebook courtesy of D.J. AngeliniGifs: blogspot.com, tumblr.com, wifflegif.com, likegif.com

Bieber: Let’s Talk About It

bieberJustin Bieber has officially gone off the deep end, and I want to talk about it because I don’t want to do my philosophy reading. Instead, let’s philosophize about the Biebz.

I have to say that I have always been the first person to stand up for Bieber ever since I saw his performance at the AMAs in 2012. Here it is, in case you were wondering:

I was obviously persecuted and bullied for such a defensive stance on an oft-ridiculed celebrity; however, I am a strong-willed person so I would naturally whine back something like “but he’s so talented!” Which he is. Not as talented as Kanye West (another celeb that I just can’t help stand up for), but Kanye’s a genius so that’s different. Anyway, Bieber has been basically having a mental breakdown similar to the one I am having on Lau 4 because I’ve realized that I forgot how to do school. Thankfully, I haven’t assaulted anyone yet. He did.

Here at 4E, we’ve always been concerned for Justin’s well-being, and once again, we’re going to give our take on the things he should and shouldn’t be doing. I don’t have any expertise on his life, but I’m gonna discuss it anyway. Here are some of the things that J.B. did recently that make me worry:

1. Over 100,000 Americans are calling for his deportation. If that happens, he’s probably going to be like this:

justin-bieber-baby-o
Baby, baby, baby, NOOOOOO!

2. He also grew a super sketch mustache. (See top photo.) I can’t even begin to deal with it.

3. Please note that he is wearing Invisalign in the picture at the top of this post. Lemme see yo grillz! I’m just kidding. Please put your grillz away. We don’t like them.

4. He’s been committing all sorts of crimes lately. Not okay.

5. This was his mugshot for the above-mentioned crimes. Also not okay.2014-01-24-biebz_mugshots_transparent-thumb

This supports my theory that all celebrities are actually insane and we should trust none of them. Except Jennifer Lawrence and Alanis Morrissete, they’re awesome.

Hope remains.
Hope remains.
Photos: huffingtonpost, nymag.com Gif: gifsoup.com, celebuzz.com