Predicting a Freshman’s Georgetown Day

Banner - ForecastWell friends, it’s that time of year: the last week of classes. We’re almost to the point where we don’t have to go class every day of the week. Summer is so close, yet so far (because of the gloom of finals that hangs over our head). But fear not! There’s something even closer than finals that shines a little lot of light on our lives: Georgetown Day. There’s only one thing we at 4E can say about God’s springtime gift to us:

Actually, there’s a lot more we can say about Georgetown Day (just search it on our site). As a fledgling in September, I could only dream of Georgetown Day. I heard so much about it from upperclassmen. They talked about how it was like the Homecoming of the Spring, how it was a free pass to skip class to have the time of your life on a weekday and how it symbolized another terrific year coming to an end. I figured it had to be a great day. If it was anything like Homecoming, things were sure to get…crazy. However, I could not truly know what they were talking about since I still had not yet experienced it. But here we are. It’s time to celebrate in true Homecoming fashion:

*Only if you’re 21+, of course*

As I’m sure many other freshmen have not yet experienced Georgetown Day (and to those who have, congrats, but you’re still in our grade), I have composed a series of forecasts. Weather? Unimportant. I’m forecasting what may (or, disclaimer: may NOT) happen to you on this fateful day:

  1. Black out or back out. You’re at it from the get-go. One of your clubs starts partying at 7 AM and you are there right on time. You throw back some mimosas and before you know it, you switch to some stronger liquids. DANGEROUS, but you still pull through. The morning flies by and soon you’re strolling across campus, out of your mind feeling ~young, wild and free~. In the back of your mind, you know that there are going to be some pretty bad pictures of you the next day. You start to feel a bit more normal and decide to nap. But wait. You get dragged to another party before you can go sleep, but luckily the bouncer turns you away. Next, you run into another upperclassmen in your club (that met at 7 AM), and she convinces you to return to the party. Before you know, you’re back at it again. You later text some of your friends to see who’s up for Leo’s because at this point, food is the only option. One of them responds, so you leave the party…and you wake up in your bed at 2 AM, alone and confused. How did you get there? No one knows. Not even you. You had fun during the day, but regret the fact that you went too hard and could not keep going. Overall, you consider your day to not be a win.
  2. Black out and DON’T back out. You’re a champion. Your Georgetown Day experience is basically the same as that of #1, except you don’t retire to your room at 5 PM. One might compare this experience to the opening of Dylan Thomas’s poem Do not go gentle into that good night because, like the persona says, you “rage, rage against the dying of light.” Nothing drags you down. You apparently make it to several parties and live out the saying “lights on, no one’s home,” because your mind is just not in a good place. Your friends inform you of your actions the next morning, but you look back on the day with no regrets. You know that you killed it, and you are proud of your freshmen year finale.
  3. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. This is, arguably, the best route to take on this glorious day. It’s the advice most upperclassmen give to freshmen when darties happen. You do not go too hard throughout the day; instead, you keep a nice feeling going for the entire day and maybe even part of the night. There is not a single moment when you’re feeling too out of control or too subdued. You have the time of your life and remember everything. Your day comes to a close, and you lie in your bed, absently smiling at the ceiling as you look on over your perceived victory. You made it through Georgetown Day alive and spent the entire celebration with your friends! At the moment, you feel like you just finished the best day of your life.
  4. Becoming Nurse Ratchet. You spend the day painfully sober, taking care of your friends who need a certain type of assistance. Instead of becoming Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, you become Nurse Ratchet because…well, you know why this term applies here. Although I am all for helping friends, it would be not be very fun to take this route.

    Take care of them if necessary, but make sure you have fun too.

I, for one, am beyond excited for Friday. I think it’s going to be an ~interesting~ experience, especially if I and my classmates decide to go to our Problem of God section at 1 PM. The forecasts listed above give a general outline of how the day may go. Of course, anything could happen. There is always room for surprises on days like these. Which path will you take (or which will take you)?

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, wruf.com

The Stages Of A Freshman’s Weight Gain

Banner - Freshman 15Spring break came and went very fast. Some of us went to help the less fortunate in areas like Mississippi and Honduras. The rest of us did not. Instead of making a decent contribution to civilization, many of us at 4E (and Georgetown in general) went to places that were farther and much more dangerous, and then partook in ~debauchery~ once we got there. By that, I mean we either went home or to tropical beaches. The people in ABP and Global Brigades may have followed the message of the Gospel, but we followed the message of Parks and Recreation:

While thinking of your friends on service trips during spring break, you might have begun to think about something else while you relaxed on the beach: your increase in weight since coming to college. For some, being with other people really magnifies such thoughts and propels them to assess their physical state. In order to document this common occurrence for college students, here 4E has created a general timeline of how you gain weight during your freshman year:

  1. Late August: It’s time for move-in day! You’ve been running/swimming/lifting/starving all summer long. You’ve done it all for the idea of going into college in pristine physical shape. In your eyes, you’re a workout warrior; nothing can bring you down now! 
  2. NSO to mid-September: You’ve been having the time of your life for the first few weeks. Classes have not really picked up speed yet, and you’re going out two, three or maybe even four nights per week. Then there are EPI QUESADILLAS and, even better, CHICKEN FINGER THURSDAY. You know that you can’t keep this up forever, but it’s the beginning of college! You’ve been keeping up with exercising and haven’t noticed any physical changes yet, so you figure you’re in the clear.
  3. Late September to Homecoming: It’s midterm season, and classes are dragging you down. You stay in a few nights focus on your studies and skip a few parties. However, this also comes at a price: you can only work for so long before making a run to Vittles or Epi. And this is where the downfall beings. By the time Homecoming rolls around, these food runs are part of your daily routine. You are also confident in your ability to down fifteen chicken fingers for lunch. But hey, don’t sweat it…you’ve got plenty of time to work out, even if the last few weeks of midterms have caused you to miss a few days. 
  4. Homecoming to Halloween: Madness. Absolute madness. You’re just finishing up midterms, and the excitement on campus is building due to the closeness of Halloweekend. You’re being super productive, and you don’t even think about your runs to Corp storefronts or Epi. You finish all your work before the big weekend, so you’re super excited to eat and drink everything whatever comes your way this weekend. But wait! Your Flex Dollars run out, and then you realize that you are not only gaining weight, but also losing money. Before you know it, you have to dip into your beloved Debit Dollars in order to satisfy your desires those wild nights. 
  5. Morning after Halloween to Thanksgiving: You dressed up as a Goth person for Halloween and wore black clothes and black makeup. However, you wake up with also a black tongue. Did you ingest some of your makeup out of desperate, drunken hunger? No, because that’s gross. Luckily, you begin to recall a hazy memory of going to Vittles and eating an Oreo ice cream sandwich…..after eating a chicken quesadilla with extra guac AND extra bacon (a recent revelation). The post-Halloween lull sets in, and staying in becomes a regular occurrence. But fear not! You find solace in food. At this point, you are sure that you are out of shape and are gaining weight. Instead of working out, you are now porking out.
  6. Thanksgiving to Christmas: After stuffing your body to the point where you hate everything about yourself, you return to campus for a surprise: warm weather’s back! It’s in the 60s and you see this an opportunity to bring the shorts back out. You do notice, however, that they feel a bit…tight, and the pockets appear to be…stretched. You are beginning to accept that your original plan to stay in shape is failing, and you make it your goal to get back into decent shape over break. 
  7. Christmas break to mid January: Does this plan work? Of course not. Christmas break was like Thanksgiving, except it continued for three weeks. Sitting on a couch while watching four seasons of SVU (five times through) is never good. You also indulge with your friends from home, which kind of(?) makes it okay. You start going out after basketball games, and while your pants feel tight, they don’t seem to be getting any tighter! You take this as a good sign, and keep doing what you’re doing.
  8. Mid-January to Spring Break: Long weekends, Valentine’s Day, and midterms all take their respective tolls on you. You go out to eat more, but you can still squeeze into your pants for formal. You discover other items at Epi, such as the buffet and the 1984, that satisfy your cuisine needs. In the week before spring break, your beloved Vittles ice cream sandwiches are the only things keeping you going during those late nights in Lau and MSB.
  9. Spring Break: Assuming you are not on a service trip, you’re living it up either at home or a hotel. No words necessary; spring break is not good for weight loss and physical fitness. You bring running clothes to Florida, but only run to the store for ice cream. The rest of your days are spent watching TV, going to the beach, and overall throwing up having a good time raging relaxing. You generally ignore how much you consume during this week.
  10. Post-Spring-Break-Mortem: You feel awful about yourself because you ate and drank things that you shouldn’t have consumed. Does this make you improve your dietary habits? You already know the answer. It’s Sunday morning before classes resume. Leo’s is closed, and you’re HUNGRY. None of your friends respond to your invitation to eat, so you decide to go to either Wisey’s or Booey’s alone. Next thing you know, you’re at Good Stuff before 12 PM with a burger and shake in your hands, and you’re eating alone at a table. Instead of just getting a Snapple or an ice cream sandwich at Vittles, you now polish off a pint of Häagen-Dazs AND a quart of milk in one night. You finally realize that you have officially transformed from a workout warrior to a complete couch potato.

If you identify with these stages, you’re not alone! Some view gaining weight as an unavoidable part of college. Don’t sweat the food runs; everyone does them at some point. My prediction for the future? Going to Good Stuff alone is probably as low as you can go, so you should be in the clear. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing because you have all summer to get in shape. In the meantime, remember that once Georgetown Day comes…nothing’s going to hold you back.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, women2.com, athleticx.net