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7 Totems of Georgetown

While in the show “You” there are seven totems that mark one’s initiation into Los Angeles life, indeed there are another seven to become a full ~Hoya~. Read below to find out if you have actually reached full membership on the Hilltop.

1. Watch two rats fighting by a trash can in the dead of the night

D.C. is full of fascinating and beautiful fauna, but the rat is undoubtedly held in greatest esteem at Georgetown. If you’re lucky enough to see two of them fighting by a trash can in the dead of the night, preferably by a Henle, you’re more of a Hoya than you’ll ever know.

2. An overflowing toilet

While some may marvel at the charm of Healy and its surrounding tulip beds, I contend that the most pleasant aspect of Georgetown are the facilities — specifically overflowing toilets. Did someone clog it? Is it a simple, common malfunction? Who knows.

3. Cry over an abandoned, half-eaten grilled cheese from Epi

Anyone on the Hilltop will tell you that the proper night out ends with an excursion to Epicurean. Whether you’re merely chilling or ordering food after visiting a sweaty Henle, you and your friends (if lucky) will definitely end up sitting down at a table covered with half-eaten leftovers from your fellow, drunken Hoyas.

4. Have a cockroach in your dorm

If you thought rats were the worst thing to find in your room, guess again. Roaches also carry 33 kinds of bacteria, six different types of parasitic worms and seven known pathogens — just remember that next time one crawls across your desk.

5. Wake up to never-ending construction at 6 a.m.

If you live in Henle or Darnall, you’re all too familiar with the morning not being brought in by the sunrise, but with, well, the sound of a dump truck.

6. See the three-legged dog from SWQ

While you may have thought Jack the Bulldog was the goodest boy on campus, you were wrong. Keep an eye out for the three-legged doggo (named Crouton!) who lives in the Southwest Quad. Extra points if you pet him.

7. Admire the Harry Styles cardboard cutout in Vil A

Keep an eye out for the ominous presence of a Harry Styles cardboard cutout next time you drunkenly wander Vil A in search of a darty. You won’t be disappointed. 

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Oscars Drinking Game

Get out your champagne flutes and call your limo driver!

It’s red carpet season, and the greatest awards show of all is TONIGHT: The Oscars.

Even if you’re having trouble locating your Cartier earrings and haute couture ballgown, don’t stress. Get yourself to a TV, pop that bubbly, and get ready to judge the rich and famous as if you didn’t wear sweats to class on a daily basis.

If you are over the age of 21 and read Daily Mail updates as soon as you get up in the morning, this drinking game is for you. If you’re not into showbiz, this will help you become an interesting/worthwhile person to hang out with.

Without further ado…

Take a shot every time:

There’s an awkward break in the program because they couldn’t get it together and find an inoffensive host. Why’d you have to go and be homophobic like that, Kevin??

Someone’s heartfelt acceptance speech is played off.

I’d like to thank my mom for giving birth to me so that I could write this article.

There’s a Trump joke but it really just isn’t even funny anymore. :/

Rami Malek has a wide-eyed look on his face that makes you want to cuddle him and ask, “Baby are you okay???”

Take 2 shots every time:

You see a celeb with a whole new face. Renée Zellweger — is that a mask, sweetie?

Someone does the “Wakanda Forever” salute.

A winner doesn’t show up to grab their statue because they’re just TOO GOOD. My money’s on Kendrick — the man has a Pulitzer and simply does not need a little golden naked man on his shelf.

Your fave gets absolutely ROBBED. Glenn Close is cute and all, but if Gaga doesn’t get that gold, I’m gonna take to the streets. Sorry, not sorry.

Finish your drink when:

Lady Gaga repeats her now-iconic line: “There can be 100 people in a room, and 99 don’t believe in you, but just ONE…”

BUT I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN YOU, GAGA.

You spot a Hoya! #Hoyas4BCoop #ButtChug4BCoop #WhoSaidThat

You make it through the entire show!! You are a star and you deserve your own award!!

Stay fabulous, my friends. Perhaps we, too, can be as hot and cool as Bradley Cooper someday.

 

Sources: Giphy, Tenor, Buzzfeed

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What to Expect During Semi Formal Szn

In between the time of the turkey and the weeks of Michael Bublé and Mariah Carey Christmas carols, Georgetown celebrates another special season: Semi Formal Szn. Around this time, the Facebook notifications roll in, the online shopping begins, and the number of people getting hospitalized skyrockets.

With these many options of which formal to crash, our wallets are begging us to be selective. So, I’ll make it easy for you and summarize what to expect at each event:

Any Frat/Sorority

If you’ve never been to any of the Greek life semi formals, just pull up any video on Barstool’s Instagram page and you’ll get the picture. Girls will be taking photos everywhere, begging their dates to “take one with flash, one without and one with portrait mode.” The guys, of course, will be screaming jibberish at each other, lightly punching each other until it eventually turns into a spectacle of a public fistfight. Nonetheless, a good time!

GUES

Mini hot dogs and Red Bulls are not a great combination for the stomach. If you really pay attention, you can hear the attendees, 99 percent of whom are not even in GUES, complaining about the lack of food and eventually taking the late night trek to Epi (the pesto grilled cheese is underrated, by the way, so be sure to try that). Each semester, at least one person has needed to be ~escorted~ into an Uber back to campus, and you can bet that this year will be no different.

The Hoya

This will probably be the most sophisticated-trashy formal you’ll ever attend. Hoya members will gladly debate politics, compare their high school subject test scores and argue about which section of The Hoya is ‘better’ (s/o to “tHe BlOg DoEsN’t EvEn CoUnT!”). Basically, it’s the typical GPB basement party, but much classier (and less crowded)!

Couples at Leo’s

I still don’t know who runs the Couples at Leo’s Instagram account, but if you’re reading this, I love you (and thank you for following @picsofjennaeating #shamelessselfpromo). No one at this formal will bring (or have) a significant other, but that won’t stop them from ~classily~ sharing a beverage together at Hawthorne. The lucky stars who have been featured on @CouplesAtLeos will receive their deserved clout and moments of fame, as overexcited freshmen will scream, “You’re the one who played footsies!” or “Aren’t you the one who ate alone?”

The Corp

I don’t know why on earth people would pay $100 for a formal, but they better be willing to get their money’s worth out of a night at the Andrew M. Mellon Auditorium. Freshman girls will finally be able to rewear their prom dresses, only to realize how uncomfortable they truly were. It might be tough to convince your non-Corp friends as to why they should pay $100 for a ticket to one formal when they could just go to the three formals listed above for the same price, but you can at least send your family some wholesome and classy photos before you spend most of the night waiting in line for the fancy bathroom.

Formal szn can be overwhelming, but you should at least try to go to one for the experience. And if you go to all of them…how do you have the money, energy and liver for that?

Have fun, Hoyas.

 

Gif/Photo Sources: giphy.com, flashbak.com

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Ignite! TEDxGeorgetown 2018

TEDxGeorgetown is this Saturday, Oct. 27, in Gaston Hall. The theme of this year’s conference is “Ignite.”

So, why is the theme “Ignite,” you may ask?

Is it because the great Katy Perry once said: “You just gotta ignite the light / And let it shine / Just own the night / Like the Fourth of July”?

Nope.

Is it because igniTED is a trusTED pun?

Absolutely not.

Well, if you guessed that it was because Saint Ignatius told the Jesuits “to go and set the world on fire,” and many incredible movements have been doing just that this past year, then you have just aced this impromptu midterm.

The conference this year will feature 10 students speakers, as well as one professor, Georgetown’s own Imam, an alum and a CEO. Each speaker will be sharing their story of how they are igniting change around them.

All you need to do to hear these wonderful stories and support your classmates is to fill out this form and come to Gaston Hall on Saturday at 9:30 a.m. with your GOCard. The event is free for Georgetown students.

I hope this post has igniTED your interest in TEDxGeorgetown.

Gifs/Images: TEDxGeorgetown.org, Giphy.com, Lybio.net, Redbubble.com, Dribble.com.

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Wasting Money 101

We’re already a month into the school year, and I still only own one notebook and one pencil, so we’re off to a strong start :’)

Clearly, organization, planning and most other life skills may not be my strong suit, but there is something I’m good at: procrastinating. And what is my favorite form of procrastination? Wasting money on things I most definitely don’t need — ironically, I refuse to spend a single cent on any new school supplies.

While there are already many blog posts out there about saving money or offering ideas on creating a realistic budget, there aren’t a lot for once you’ve already accepted you don’t have the self-control for financial planning.

So, if you’re like me and also a lost cause when it comes to saving your hard-earned money, I’ve created an “anti-budget” of some of the ways and places I most frequently waste mine:

1. Uber

I  realize Ubers are necessary for many people and sometimes they are for me too. I take them to my job, to the airport, and to many other places where I actually need to be in a timely fashion. However, I also use them to go to IHOP at 2 a.m. or to pick me up on M Street when it’s starting to rain and I don’t want to walk back to campus. Basically, I’m lazy, and Uber now has a lot of my money. I haven’t yet gotten to the point of ordering them just to drive around for fun, but I’m rapidly approaching this rock bottom.

2. Saxby’s

I am not exaggerating when I say I think a solid quarter of my life savings has gone to Saxby’s. Here’s the situation: I’ve been drinking coffee since I was about 3 years old — really not sure why my parents not only allowed this, but also encouraged it. So, yes, I am addicted to coffee (thanks, Mom and Dad) but do I need to be spending $10 plus my firstborn child on it ? No. Do I anyway? Absolutely. I have so many regrets.

Actual budgeting advice: If you weren’t aware, Saxby’s does free refills if you stay and do work there.

3. On-Campus Vending Machines

The thing about vending machines is that you don’t feel like you’re spending a lot of money, but when you buy Smart Food at 3 a.m. in Lau for months on end, that $1.75 really adds up. I would recommend this tactic for a mostly guilt-free way to waste money — until you check your banking account and realize your grave miscalculation.

4. Any Corp Location

To put it simply, everything at The Corp is overpriced, but I love snacks. Sometimes I just really need a family-sized bag of barbecue chips at 11 p.m., and by sometimes, I mean approximately once a week. People say that The Corp is going under, but I mathematically don’t know how that’s possible considering how much they charge for a bag of chips. What are they doing with all my money??

5. Opera

If you don’t yet know what it is, do not find out. Going to opera is the equivalent of setting $20 on fire. If you want to pay someone to have a bad time, this one’s for you.

6. Online Shopping

I’m going to end with a classic — online shopping. It starts with “I’m going to browse,” and that turns into “I’m just going to add some stuff to my cart.” Then you black out and realize that you just put in your credit card information and bought three almost identical turtlenecks because you couldn’t decide, and all of them were on sale, so it had to be a good deal, right?

I’m hoping this list will give me a wake-up call for my irresponsible spending habits. (It probably won’t.) Please feel free to judge me and the way I handle money, but if you decide to take any of my suggestions, I will not judge you.

Sources: https://giphy.com, pinterest.com

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Essential End-Of-Night Songs

Well, it looks like summer is coming to an end, which means the incoming wave of mixed emotions that comes with ~going back to school~.

I know how you must be feeling at this time. If you’re like me, you’re probably grappling with the fact that school inevitably means deadlines and applications and stress and what have you. There are just certain activities that don’t quite lie in my “personal strength” category, including (but not limited to) packing, scheduling, planning and making simple decisions in general.

But hey! Look on the bright side for once: Coming back to school also means returning to an exhilarating, debauchery-filled lifestyle that you now have the privilege of sharing with all your best friends!

And what better way to spend your last few days of summer than dreaming of all the ~great~ parties you’re gonna throw in that brand new Henle.

But beware, young ones! Party hosting is no joke! A few distinguishing factors can turn a potential rager of the century into a total lame-fest faster than you can say DJ Khaled.

Luckily, you have a full bench of experienced professionals here at 4E to advise and protect you — specifically in any aux cord-related endeavors that involve essential Georgetown party classics.

1. Mr. Brightside – The Killers

No other song in the history of humankind has ever got drunk white people more hyped than Mr. Brightside. Ever.

I have sincerely never been to a party where this song didn’t play. And I can’t say I’m mad about it.

2. Georgetown Fight Song

I don’t know a single word to the Georgetown fight song and it still bangs.

3. Party in the USA – Miley Cyrus

This song is so obviously a classic that I don’t even feel the need to explain why you should play it.

4. Walmart Yodel EDM Remix – Yodeling Boy // Famous – Mason Ramsey

If at any point during the night you start to feel yourself hitting the wall, I PROMISE this song will revive you. Don’t fight it. Feel the beat. Feel the passion.

And for anyone who might mind disrespecting the musical artistry of the beloved Mason Ramsey, you can always opt to play his other best song — “Famous.”

This song is just the perfect balance between country and, like, hip. The lyrics are just so real, it breaks my heart. In a, you know, fun-loving, rager, party type of way, sort of. Sometimes, though, you just need some emotional head banging to make your night worth it.

5. Tik Tok – Ke$ha

I don’t think I have to remind anyone that stanning Ke$ha gives you not only a reason to pretend like it’s still 2009, but also to party harder than you ever would have without her. We play this song out of pure reverence for a true queen. After all, Ke$ha is the reason you could ever wake up with dirt and glitter all over yourself and call it a “look.”

But if you really want to mix it up, you can always play the Avril Lavigne acoustic cover of the song just to see how everyone in the room reacts.

(link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OahmkdWS3kQ)

6. Kiss Me Thru the Phone – Soulja Boy

It is a well-known fact that almost nothing gets a party going more than the words “soulja boy tell ‘em.”

Though some people might prefer the classic “Crank That (Soulja Boy),” I have always been a believer that “Kiss Me Thru the Phone” is a just as good, if not better song. I mean, anyone can crank that, but there’s just something about someone pulling out a flawless “678 triple 9 8212” that is just so damn impressive.

7. Thrift Shop – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

This song has not just one but three (at least) iconic lines, including but not limited to:

“Macklemore can we go thrift shopping?”

“What what what what da da da da dadaba da”

And of course,

“Walk up in the club like whaddup I gotta big c–k”

How could you pass up such poetry?

8. Whatcha Say – Jason Derulo

A healthy JaSoN dErUuLo throwback for when you get tired of listening to “Swallalala” for the millionth time.

Wait, seriously, what did she say tho?

9. Africa – Toto

A classic so great it has consistently reappeared in the top charts since the 80s. This song is the absolute best to sing at the top of your lungs with all your dearest friends.

10. Follow Me – Jamie Lynn Spears (Zoey 101 theme song)

In general, I’m usually against the notion of pretending theme songs to tween shows are real songs, but Zoey 101 is quite the exception. This is one of those songs where when it first starts playing, you might be like “aw man, come on, seriously, like, who would play this song right now dude,” but then it actually starts and you just can’t not sing along.

“Ooooh. I know ya see me standin’ here”

Plus, Chase. Am I right, ladies and gents?

11. Bring Me to life – Evanescence

So you can rock that early 2000s misunderstood, emo, goth girlfriend vibe for 3 minutes and 56 seconds before you get over it and go back to being a basic b—h.

12. All Star- Smash Mouth

someBODY once told me the WORLD is gonna roll me,

I feel like this song would never not be welcome at a Georgetown party. Also, if this song doesn’t remind you of Shrek, wyd?

13. You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift

This one’s for all of us who refuse to accept the death of Old Taylor.

Old Taylor stays reminding us of that pure and innocent optimism we all used to have about being nerdy and cute.

Not to mention that, strategically speaking, playing a Taylor Swift song is the surest way of clearing out the party so you can finally go to bed.

So good luck out there, my fellow Hoyas. And remember, please aux responsibly.

 

Sources: giphy.com, youtube.com, wallpaper-house.com

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8 Underrated Animated Characters

With everyone talking about the premiere of Incredibles 2, I can’t help but wonder if it’ll beat the iconic original film. Edna Mode’s quirky yet relatable character? The memorable yet slightly overused line: “Where’s my super suit?!” Samuel L. Jackson in cartoon form? Need I say more?

Yet despite the hype of the upcoming sequel, the original Incredibles has been slept on. For 14 years. With this in mind, here are some more ~fabulous~ animated characters who have also failed to gain the recognition they deserve:

1. Kronk (Emperor’s New Groove)

Who doesn’t appreciate this friendly giant, who not only PULLS THE LEVER, but also can cook some delicious spinach puffs and fondue. Though he is a loyal evil assistant, let’s not forget the little devil and angel that appear on Kronk’s shoulders every time he faces a moral dilemma. Or his ability to communicate with animals (specifically squirrels).

Fun Fact: There’s apparently a show dedicated to Kronk called “Kronk’s New Groove”. Although I’ve never watched it, I’m glad the TV community is paying respect to the real star.

2. Shego (Kim Possible)

If you didn’t have a childhood crush on this super villain, you’re lying. Hot-tempered, sarcastic, and slightly offensive, she’s not much different than the typical SFS student who is accused of having a ‘light’ core curriculum. In addition, Shego is voiced by Nicole Sullivan, who not only was in Meet the Robinsons, but also came in second place on the show Worst Cooks in America: Celebrity Edition.

3. Gill (Finding Nemo)

Leader of the Tank Gang, Gill seems intimidating at first, but you soon come to love his integrity and the sacrifices he makes for Nemo. Also Gill means “mucus” in Polish. #TheMoreYouKnow #BilingualReaccsOnly

4. David (Lilo & Stitch)

As Nani once wrote in her diary, David not only has fancy hair, but also has a nice butt. He supports Nani despite being friendzoned multiple times AND is an amazing surfer– what more could you possibly want in a modern Disney prince?

5. Danny Phantom (Danny Phantom)

Black hair and blue eyes. Need I say more?

6. DW (Arthur)

By far, the most SAVAGE character in animated history, and she doesn’t even know how to read yet. Probably one of the most annoying sisters I’ve ever witnessed, I can’t help but laugh at all the Arthur memes that have starred her in the past year. Did you know the voice of D.W. is actually a boy? Actually, boys plural (6 male actors alternated voicing Arthur’s little sister).

7. Mushu (Mulan)

Who can forget his intro where he just magically arises from the ground in a cloud of red glittery smoke? Personally, I don’t think Mulan would be the icon she is without Mushu’s help; after all, he made her breakfast before her training session and was the best personal cheerleader of all time. Also, he’s a little lizard with fire powers. That’s pretty cool.

8. Chip Skylark (Fairly OddParents)

How can someone who sings about dental hygiene be so universally loved? 10-year-old me and current 19-year old me lives for his single gold piercing and ~swaggy~ dance moves. Let’s not forget that Chip Skylark is also secretly poor and a super humble guy. Not exactly your typical MSBro.

Alas, these are only a few of the animated characters who have long deserved the clout that has mistakenly been given to overrated characters like the Minions from Despicable Me (why are there THREE movies about them?) or the snowman from Frozen.

The members of 4E highly suggest you watch Incredibles 2, that is, if you want to stay ~cinematically cultured~.

Sources: giphy.com, youtube.com

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Blue and Gray, Please Be Honest

Nothing says spring on the Hilltop like being boxed into a corner by a tour group on your way to class.

In my experience, while college tours seem informative as a naive senior in high school, seeing them as an actual college student has given me a greater appreciation for the level of BS that every school is able to make up. In honor of this year’s GAAP weekends and possible future Hoyas, here’s a more honest look at Georgetown’s campus.

Get excited

First, there’s Dahlgren Quad, home of one of our beautiful chapels. Georgetown is a Jesuit university–but don’t worry, we tokenize every other religion to make up for it. Look up and you’ll see a clock with some handles. This is the last time you’ll ever hear about it. This is a step where a lot of Presidents have stood. Sorry, did I hear someone say Bill Clinton?

Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton?

Bill Clinton. Bill. Clinton.

Have you heard of him? His name is Bill Clinton, and he went to Georgetown. Bill Clinton.

If you’ll follow me, up next is the Village A rooftop, overlooking the scenic Rosslyn skyline. You won’t have a chance of getting an apartment here until you’re a junior, but you might as well live here the first month of your freshman year. I will clearly avoid mentioning the plethora of beer cans scattered on the ground, but we all see them.

So, we’re going to be entering the Healy Family Student Center, or as students call it, HFSC. This building was designed with a lot of student input. One thing we heard was that students needed a place to plug in all their devices, so it’s full of outlets that don’t work. We also incorporated new studies that showed that green space and natural light help students study, so this ivy is real. I know because one time I saw a rat jump out of it.

A similar situation may also be found on a Vil A rooftop

Now we’ll be passing Hilltoss, one of our Corp locations. The Corp is the largest student-run non-profit in the world, making $5 million each year (assuming they’re not bankrupt). Everyone from the CEO to the barista handing you your coffee is a student employee and will tell you about it every time you happen to even breathe their way.

Next we have our dining hall, Leo O’Donovan Hall. If you’d like to grab a few croissants after the tour from the lovely-but-somehow-consistently-dysfunctional Whisk, it will probably cost you upwards of tuition. Leo’s is also great because as a child I loved the movie Ratatouille, and Georgetown has allowed me to experience the live action version.

This is Red Square, where we have our farmers’ market every Wednesday when it’s warm out. It’s the only time you’ll feel joy on this campus.

An avocado, thankss!

Finally, as we enter Leavey we’ll be passing by the offices of GUASFCU, the most needless acronym ever created. The likelihood of both getting into Georgetown and GUAFSCU is less than getting struck by lightning while simultaneously winning the lottery. However, you have worse chances of getting into a club that just goes out to eat. If you love the Common App process, you’ll love Georgetown clubs.

That concludes our honest tour of Georgetown’s campus. Blue and Gray, feel free to incorporate any of this student-sourced information into a new and improved (more accurate) tour format for prospective Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, goldstar.com

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March Madness Advice

It’s official: March Madness is upon us. I’m told by some alumni that there was once a time when the Georgetown basketball team was part of this tournament, but much like the stories of the days when students allegedly “went to games” and “could name a player on the team,” I’m pretty sure this is just a rumor. Regardless, we here at 4E (AKA the ~real~ sports section of The Hoya) have come up with some helpful advice for building that perfect bracket.

When you see that Syracuse somehow made it in

Consider Picking Schools That Have Jack-Like Mascots

The real tragedy of us missing the tournament is that the world will be deprived of seeing our beloved Jack the Bulldog ride his skateboard or drive his car around the court. But luckily, March Madness will still have some canine representation. Here are some possible picks you should consider based on their potential for adorableness:

Gonzaga Bulldogs:

Their “dog” is named Spike. It’s just a guy in a suit. No actual dog. Disappointing. 2/10.

Butler Bulldogs:

Their dog is named Blue. He’s no Jack, but at least he’s an actual dog. Overall, pretty cute. Nice smile. Would definitely pet. 7/10.

UMBC (University of Maryland, Baltimore County) Retrievers:

The dog is named “True Grit”. Creative choice. Unclear if the mascot is “officially” just a guy in a suit, but according to Google Images, they seem to frequently have a plethora of live retrievers present at many events. I endorse this. Reminds me of Air Bud. 9/10.

      

 

Stay Away From the Big East

As many of you may know, many of the other teams in the Big East were very mean to the Hoyas this season. They often (very rudely) chose to score a lot of points and also frequently prevented us from scoring some points of our own. Very inconsiderate! Karma will not be kind to them in the tournament — stay away!

When someone says Villanova is going to win it all this year

Also, Providence has this horrifying mascot. We can’t pick them knowing this thing will be there.

It’s gonna be a no for me, dawg

Remember Your Jesuit Values

The Arizona State Sun Devils? The Duke Blue Devils? Not today, Satan! These squads are clearly trying to tempt you into straying from your Jesuit values. March Madness is no time for such sinful endeavors, my fellow men and women for others. We suggest you play it safe and stick with the Penn Quakers — based on what little information I remember from my sixth-grade social studies class  my extensive research, Quakers and Jesuits are essentially the same thing.

Also, remember that Penn once kindly took Ivanka off our hands, further proving their charitable nature (#NotMyFirstDaughter #WhyIsGeorgetownAssociatedWithSoManyTrumpChildren #TiffanyActuallySeemsOkThough). With all this in mind, Penn is pretty much a surefire pick for the Final Four.

When God sees you filling out your bracket

Don’t Pick Michigan State.

This one may seem both arbitrary and contrary to popular opinion, but remember this: current star player and probable future lottery pick Jaren Jackson Jr. chose Michigan State over Georgetown. Yes, way back in 2016, the highly touted recruit included Georgetown among his final five school choices and then somehow didn’t pick us. Wyd Jaren?? Didn’t the tour guides tell you about new Leo’s? Were you not impressed by Lau? Did the rats scare you off??

Whatever the reason, to quote the internship rejection emails I keep getting, we’ve unfortunately “decided to go in a different direction” on this one and cannot recommend that our readers pick Michigan State. And if you’re reading this, Jaren Jackson Jr., please consider forgoing your lucrative NBA career in favor of transferring to the Hilltop next year. Patrick Ewing is really cool and some students will probably show up at a home game at some point. Also, we have a Chick-Fil-A now!

Bet you thought all my advice was going to be based solely on mascots, didn’t you? #insightful

And finally….

Do Not Pick Syracuse

Enough said.

We hope you have fun this month, and remember: next year will be better! We look forward to seeing you all at the Arena Formerly Known as the Verizon Center for the one game you’ll attend before leaving early to go to Rocket Bar.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, pinterest.com, golfdigest.com, kentuckysportsradio.com

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Which Georgetown LLC Are You?

Living Learning Communities have sent out their final decisions, but we here at 4E want to help you figure out which LLC you should really be in. It’s time for  . . . which LLC are you?

[playbuzz-item item=”15ce167b-057d-4347-b9cf-2fe9f87d0f25″ format=”story”]

Photos: tumblr.com, thehoya.com