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The Five Stages of Being Sick at Georgetown

If you haven’t spent these past weeks drowning in used tissues and Advil, this Hoya desperately wants to know your secret.  Yes! You heard that barely concealed coughing fit from the back of your crowded microeconomics lecture correctly, the Georgetown Plague™ is upon us.

While we may be living in a petri dish, at least the relatability of this struggle can be exploited by your friends at 4E. Here are the five stages of being sick on the Hilltop:

1. Attempting home remedy

Throat coat?  Check. Advil?  Check. Suddenly wishing you were pre-med?  Check. All of the Aspirin that you packed from home might be able to save you, right?  Right??

Although copious amounts of tea and Tylenol can’t stop your impending doom, it won’t stop you from trying! 

2. Taking a trip to the Student Health Center

After your own medical knowledge fails, surely Georgetown, the fine institution you are paying your life savings to attend, will be able to rescue you from yourself!  A quick 30-minute phone call later, you’ve booked an appointment to see a doctor… next Thursday.

3. Accepting your fate

It’s true!  Sometimes you need to be sick in order to appreciate being well — or, at least, that’s what you tell yourself to feel better! Your roommate has to inevitably put up with 4 a.m. coughing fits, and you have to fight through that 9 a.m. lecture while putting up with dirty looks from students and professors alike.

Apparently, being sick is a natural part of life. Just one that no one wants to experience.

4. Freedom

The long journey comes to an end. Alas now, you have no more excuses for procrastinating your midterm paper!

The sudden rebirth you feel is accompanied by a newfound appreciation for health, along with promises to work out at Yates every day and stop eating Chick-Fil-A every night.

 

5. Repetition

That’s right folks, your already-weakened immune system will inevitably fail you again!  The close quarters of dorm life and crowded Vil A rooftops are breeding grounds for contamination.  

But fear not!  Because if you can survive the Georgetown Plague™, you can easily survive anything the Hilltop throws your way.

From all of us here at 4E, get well soon!

Sources: giphy.com, choicechiropractic.net

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High School vs. Georgetown

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Everyone knows that high school and college are pretty different. From academics to the social scene, they are essentially worlds apart. 4E brings you a few situations that demonstrate this difference perfectly.

Situation 1: Getting an A

High School: *Shoves test in binder*

Georgetown:

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Situation 2: The “humble brag”

High School: “You’re on chapter 7?! I haven’t even opened the book.”

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Georgetown: “You’re on chapter 7?! You better hurry up.  I memorized all the charts and statistics.”

Situation 3: Being Healthy

High School: “I try to eat a balance of fruits, vegetables, proteins, and carbs.”

Georgetown: “I try to eat healthy. Also, I went to Yates last week.”

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Situation 4: Needing to do laundry

High School: “Maahhhm!”

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Georgetown: “Maybe if I spray it with perfume no one will know…”

Situation 5: Relationships

High School: “After our date he asked if we should make it Facebook official.”

Georgetown: *Swipes you in at Leo’s* “It was essentially a date.”

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Situation 6: Trying really hard to cook

High School: *Prepares five course meal.*

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Georgetown: *Fails at preparing five course meal.*

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*And then resorts to EasyMac*

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Situation 7: Being a nerd

High School: “You did the reading? Classic. Such a nerd.”

Georgetown: “That kid always ruins the curve. I heard he co-authored the textbook. What a nerd.”

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Situation 8: Netflix and chilling

High School: *text at 6:30 p.m.* “Hey. I have to watch my sister tonight while my parents are gone but want to come over to watch some Netflix and chill?”

Georgetown: *text at 3:30 a.m.* “Netflix and chill;)?”

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Situation 9: Waking up early

High School: “I got up at 5 a.m. for swim practice. I’m literally going to die.”

Georgetown: “I have an 8 a.m. class this semester. I’m literally going to die.”

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Situation 10: Realistic career expectations

High School: “I’m incredibly passionate about biology, space, and astrophysics. I’m either going to be a physicist or an astronaut. I got a 5 in AP Physics so I’m probably smart enough.”

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Georgetown: “I mean, tax law could be interesting.”

Situation 11: Personal Space

High School:

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Georgetown: “This should do for now.”

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Situation 12: Approaching a crush

High school:

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Georgetown: “My crush has got to be on tinder somewhere. It’s only a matter of time.”

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Situation 13: Dance parties

High school: “There’s always that one couple…”

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Georgetown: “There’s always that one kid..” *Brings entire freshman floor*

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College is hard. But, you’ve got to admit, most times it’s better than high school.

Photos/Gifs: trb.com; tumblr.com; giphy.com

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How to Beat the Flu (Before it Happens)

Sneeze PicIt’s that time again, Hoyas: BeWell Week. So if your life is anywhere near as ironic as mine tends to be, you’re either deathly ill or you’re about to become so in the coming days. And, chances are, you’re about to get hit with that bizarre throatache-turned-flu that’s been hitting campus harder than these gymnasts hit the mat.

While 4E has given you tips and tricks before for beating illnesses, we’ve never really told you how to prevent them. So, before you catch the strange bug that’s going around, follow some of these pointers to keep yourself in tip top shape:

1. Don’t touch the railings I know, the Hilltop is covered in stairs. And I know, that means the Hilltop is covered in railings, too. But I beg you, please do not touch them. Handrails are homes to all sorts of viruses, bacteria and germs (E. coli and mucus are quite common… Yuck!) Just work your legs a bit harder than usual and don’t grab those railings.

2. Carry wet-wipes and/or a container of Purell This goes along with good ol’ #1 (see above). If you aren’t going to touch anything, then it might get a wee bit difficult opening doors, walking up stairs and going to the ATM. A little bit of sanitizer can go a long way, people.

3. Beat your illness before it starts I made a quick trip to Vittles today to give you the scoop on preventative medication.

One-A-Day Vitamins: $11.19 for a mega bottle.
Airborne immune booster: $9.29.
Emergen-C immune pack: $8.25.
Not getting devastatingly ill while the rest of Georgetown does: not priceless, but pretty darn close.

4. Eat well Neither The Hoya nor The Fourth Edition advocate stealing an orange or two from Leo’s, but I personally do, especially if it means beating the common college cold. Stick to those fruits and veggies; they naturally pack a punch to any of those pesky viruses that are circulating. Also, get some electrolytes in your system and use a healthy diet to keep your immune system in peak condition.

5. Get some (more) sleep I’m not trying to make a joke. Really. Though it’s really difficult to find any time to sleep while trying to balance the million and five things you’re juggling as a Hoya, getting 8-9 hours will save you a lot of grief in the future. Do it now, or you’re going to be doing it in a few days… just with a 102-degree fever.

Now, get Purell-ling, stop touching, start sleeping and prevent those illnesses, Hoyas!

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Too Fit To Quit

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Did you work out today? Eat healthy? Drink lots of water? Get proper sleep? Believe it or not, Hoyas, the answer is probably yes. That is, if you’re in the D.C.-Metro Area.

According to the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM), Washington, D.C. ranks second on their Annual Fitness Index (AFI) of the 50 top U.S. metropolitan areas.

The index measures levels of chronic disease, preventative health behaviors, health care access, community resources and policies that encourage active, healthy lifestyles. This year, D.C. was awarded 77.7 out of 100 possible points on the AFI rankings. First place went to the Minneapolis-St.Paul metropolitan area, who scored a 78.2 overall.

The ACSM data showing D.C.’s health-concious lifestyle is nothing new. This is the second year in a row that D.C. has come in second place overall on the AFI. (Last year, D.C. scored a 75.8 – once again inched out by Minneapolis-St. Paul, which scored a 76.4.)

According to an ACSM press release regarding this year’s Index:

Washington ranked first on personal health indicators related to health behaviors, chronic health conditions and health care access. The area ranked third on community/environmental indicators associated to the built environment, recreational facilities, park-related expenditures, physical education requirements and primary health care providers.

The ACSM aims to improve urban quality of life across the U.S. through initiatives like the annual AFI. For this year’s survey, the group worked alongside the Indiana University School of Family Medicine and a panel of 26 health and physical activity experts to compile data from numerous sources, including the U.S. Center for Disease Control, the U.S. Census and Prevention’s Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System.

For more information about Washington’s health statistics, this year’s AFI and more, check out this page.

And until next year, stay healthy, Hoyas.

Photo: Sari Frankel/The Hoya