Dating Advice from Donald Trump

Hear ye, hear ye! A proclamation to all the Georgetown romantics looking for or currently involved in a loving relationship: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! You may think that you are an expert on the lovely world of dating, but there can only be one true master. And that master just happens to be the President of the United States. We here at 4E have searched for and archived some of our new President’s greatest pieces of advice just for you!

Follow this advice and you can be            just like The Donald!

Have no tolerance for cheaters.

The fall of 2012 was a rocky time for everyone’s former favorite celebrity couple, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. With allegations of cheating by Kristen Stewart running amuck, many were outraged–including America’s very own, Donald Trump.

In the span of approximately one month, our President tweeted a total of 6 times voicing his opinions on what Robert Pattinson should do about his former partner’s infidelity. The rampage begins with the following remarks made on October 17, 2012:

While this tweet includes a few troubling remarks, the overall message is clear–Robert Pattinson should not tolerate cheating and neither should you.

Have high standards for yourself.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are not the only celebrity couple Donald Trump felt the irresistible desire to weigh in on. He also simply had to tell the world his opinion of Katy Perry and Russel Brand as well. On October 16, 2014, Donald Trump sent the following tweet.

Considering he is the father of two daughters, it should come as no surprise that Donald Trump has taken the “over-protective-dad” approach to this one. He only wants the best for Katy and you. Find yourself a significant other who’s got more going on than Russel Brand and don’t settle for anything less.

@RusselBrand

Don’t date unattractive people (inside and out).

On August 28, 2012, Donald Trump offered a compliment to the husband of Arianna Huffington for his decision to divorce his wife.

Donald Trump raises some very important points here. Physical and emotional attraction are key for any relationship to flourish. In this tweet, Donald Trump also displays a clear understanding of how sexuality works–Arianna Huffington’s former husband was clearly so repulsed by the unattractiveness of his wife that he became gay.

If this does not show Donald Trump’s support of LGBTQ rights, I don’t know what does.

Don’t date your daughter.

While I thought this was an unspoken rule, Donald Trump has made it very clear that you should not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, date your daughter–no matter how attracted you are to her.

Donald Trump has often made remarks on the physical beauty of his daughter, Ivanka, in the past. In fact, on one 2006 episode of ABC’s “The View,”  “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” I guess a biological, paternal relationship is simply an unfortunate deal breaker for our president.

That’s it for now kids! If you simply follow Donald Trump’s advice, you will wake up on Valentine’s Day with a relationship as strong and genuine as his and Melania’s.

Photos/gifs: twitter.com, giphy.com 

Georgetown-Themed Rejection Lines

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‘Tis the season for love and emotions! Everyone remembers last year when 4E brought you the best pickup lines in the planet. I mean you should, 4E (cough, myself) basically became famous.

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But then… no one used the pickup lines. At least, not on me. THESE LINES ARE GOLDEN PEOPLE, COME ON.

Well anyway now we back, back again. And this time, we are better than ever. Because this time we are giving you ways to reject love. Maybe this will be more applicable to your lives.

4E PRESENTS: GEORGETOWN REJECTION LINES

You are more likely to get an appointment at the Career Center than a date with me.

The prospect of us having a relationship makes me want to run screaming down Prospect.

I feel more alone with you than I do in Lau.

Dr. Todd Olson: doesn’t exist. Your chance with me: likewise.

It’s not you, it’s your Wisey’s order.

You have a better chance of strolling down the Reiss walkway.

Of course I’ll go on a date with you! Meet you at the Georgetown Metro stop tonight at 7!

You are Los Cuates, and I am the police. Shutting. You. Down.

You may have stolen the clock hands, but you couldn’t steal my heart.

Do you know what NHS stands for? Not Happening, Sorry.

Make like JJ the Bulldog and bite me.

This conversation is a lot like the first week of school: NSOver.

Use them on a creepy classmate, use them on your friends. I really don’t care. Just as long as you don’t use them on me.

And remember, if you are #tryna, “let’s be like the cups in Leo’s and stick together” is always appropriate.

Photos/Gifs: eonline.com; tumblr.com