What’s A Boya?

All Hoya ladies know that, like rats and out-of-order bathroom stalls, f–kboys abound on the Hilltop.

See Snakes of Georgetown to learn about GU’s most prevalent demographic.

The mixture of confidence, political-mindedness and neurosis within Georgetown men is a veritable Molotov cocktail of personality traits, which can be triggered to explode by both academic debate and debauched social gatherings.

Before you accuse me of misandry, a disclaimer: #NotAllMen.

Especially not Armie Hammer and his spectacular dance moves.

Some guys at Georgetown are absolute diamonds — ladies, if you find them, hold on tight. However, some Hoya boys (henceforth known as “Boyas”) are still in a little more of a “coal” phase.

Donald Trump attempting to dig up an alibi, 2017 (colorized).

Love them or hate them — and usually it’s a confusing mixture of both —  Boyas are a group to watch.

Since 2018 is sure to be another year of, like, realizing stuff, please consult this guide to educate yourself on how to spot a Boya, both at a distance and up close.

Side note: Welcome to the world, Stormi!

Without further ado:

1. When he uses the Jesuit values to justify late-night booty calls.

2. If his room has a distinctly “fiscally conservative, socially liberal” aesthetic.

Romney 2012 poster, Vineyard Vines blanket and GUASFCU mug = red flags.

3. When he asks you for your NetID.

Okay, maybe you’re doing a group project together, but ladies, we all know what this guy wants. Sliding into your Gmail is the ~ultimate~ Boya move.

4. If every time you text him “what’s up?” he replies, “at Yates 💪🚨💯.”

Boyas be #gettin #those #gains.

5. If he wears his Patagucci like it’s a uniform.

6. When Chad is the name and ghosting is the game.

 ✌ out.

7. If his party attitude can best be described as “hit it and quit it.”

In conclusion: don’t play yourself.

Patrick Ewing knows what’s up.

Best of luck, ladies! Stay vigilant.

Sources: giphy.com, popkey.com, free-stock-illustration.com

The 5 Guys You See During Springtime

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‘Tis the season for rooftop parties, cherry blossoms and pre-final freakouts.  Springtime in Georgetown, in my opinion, is pure perfection and brings out the best in people (for the most part).  4E presents the 5 guys you see during springtime at Georgetown.

1. The non-elusive dartier: You’ve seen him at 4 o’clock on a Saturday afternoon at Wisey’s completely gone or trailing down Prospect with a 30-pack.  His bro tank and Vineyard Vines croakies give everything away.  To him, spring is a time of celebration. And why not celebrate with copious amounts of day-drinking?

2. The frisbee enthusiast:  You’ll usually find him throwing around the hippie biscuit on Copley Lawn with his other friends who share equal enthusiasm for this ultimate sport.  The only thing that bugs you about this guy is the fact that every time you walk through the lawn, you have to pray for your life you don’t get hit by a rogue frisbee.

3.The salmon short stalker: Ubiquitous among this campus, the salmon short (or is it nantucket red?) is a staple among many male students.  Sometimes the salmon short gets a lot of sh**, but honestly most girls love them.  So guys, keep doing you.

4. That pale guy: You may have seen him from afar laying out on Healy lawn or in your class showing off those calves that haven’t seen the light of day, but whoever he is, his poor ghostly complexion has seen little sun.  I think we all should give him credit for at least trying to attempt a tan.

5. Mr. Spring Fever:  The warm weather and shedding of coats can bring out a lot in people, mostly excitement.  Usually lurking on the Vil A rooftops on a Saturday night, Mr. Spring Fever is on the prowl.  But don’t worry, hopefully he’ll find his Miss Spring Fever soon!

Photos/Gifs: Giphy.com, pinterest.com, whalefilm.tv

How NOT to Get a Guy in 10 Days

403naleyintrudedRelationships are crazy. As the genius Katy Perry once sang, “You’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no, you’re in then you’re out, you’re up then you’re down.” Truer words have never been said.

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The classic chick flick How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days tells the story of a woman who attempts to drive a man away in only (gasp) 10 short days. After re-watching this movie for the millionth time, I got to thinking … hold on a second. If a girl “got” a guy, why would she want to lose him? Hello? That makes no sense.

So over the last few days I have been strolling the paths of Georgetown, investigating and observing the student body. And while I still don’t know why anyone would want to lose a guy in 10 days, I realized how easy it is not to get one. After countless hours on Lau 2, I have concluded that these are the 10 things that women do that make themselves unattractive to the men of the world. If you do these things, you will NOT get a guy in 10 days:

1. Shrieking when you see your friends in Leo’s While this may seem like the perfect way to get a guy to like you (and seem more popular), it really isn’t. You look, seem and sound like that annoying girl who pretends to be friends with everyone.

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2. Only talk in classwork lingo Sometimes it is good to talk about class, but it is not good to only keep the conversation about how that problem set was so hard. Bridge the gap between class and “extra-curriculars.”

3. Stalking in class Yes, having friends in class is great, but it reaches the point where it is weird. Stalking can go from innocent to awkward real fast. It will not help your case.

4. “Study” in public places to be seen Your grades and relationships will not get better … I promise you.

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5. Walk around Lau aimlessly We all know those girls who are always just walking around. I’m 90% sure that they do not have any particular destination.

6. Giving code names to guys Many girls think that the more indiscrete they are, the more chance they have. No, guys do not want to be called “eyes” or “ya know.” I’m not saying I haven’t done it…

7. Poke your crush on Facebook This is the epitome of desperation. Totally not acceptable.

8. Get really drunk and text them at 1 a.m. I’m pretty sure that they know you really don’t wanna know “what’s up?” at that time of night.

9. Get the machine next to them at Yates Every. Single. Time. Creepy.

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10. Saying “OMG, me too” every time they say something new Girl, there is very little chance that you have everything in common. Get a grip.

It is harsh, but true: We girls often do things that aren’t in our best interest. This Valentine’s Day, do less, Lady Hoyas. Do less.

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GIFS: tumblr