Where Should You Spring Break?

Banner - Break QuizHave you ever wondered what exotic location is your spirit location. Well, look no further. In honor of Spring Break (and procrastinating midterms), 4E is asking you to ponder: Where should you ~actually~ go for your break?

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/thefourthedition10/where-should-you-actually-go-on-spring-break”]

Photos: letsgovr.com

 

Secret Societies at Georgetown: An Exposé

UntitledThough Georgetown is known for its breadth of student organizations, the average student is unaware of an entire subset of organizations that exists here on campus. Secret societies are real at Georgetown. While their rituals, activities and induction processes are often mired in secrecy, 4E’s investigative journalism experts have produced tangible answers.

magnifying secrets

We have sifted through the rumors and prepared a report on just a few of theses secret societies. While their acronyms are mundane and seemingly meaningless, their activities are hidden for good reason:

1. GUAC (Georgetown University Avocado Cult)

avocado magic

  • Activities: While this started as the Georgetown University Avocado Club, it quickly devolved into a secretive cult as of late. This group is responsible for the overall lack of quality guacamole at an affordable price in the Georgetown neighborhood. By stealing avocados from local supermarkets and food distributors, they have created an artificial shortage of avocados, driving up prices in all local establishments (including Chipotle). Why do they commit such atrocious deeds, you might ask? To enjoy the scare resource that is avocado all for themselves.
  • Induction Ritual: A current member will hurl avocados at you of decreasing ripeness. They start out soft and mushy and eventually it feels like someone’s throwing a baseball at you. If you can survive the ordeal for ten minutes without tapping out, you’re in!
  • How to Spot a Member: They don’t have to pay for extra guacamole at Chipotle.

2: GROSS (Georgetown Rulers Of Student Stapling)

May or may not be a club activity
May or may not be a club activity
  • Activities: GROSS have monopolized the stapling privilege at Georgetown. While they leave staplers out in the open, like next to the printers in Lau, they make sure that there is never a single staple inside, thus forcing you to buy your own personal supply of staples. Happy to be in the MSB and have free printing? It doesn’t matter, because you will never be able to staple your papers together if GROSS is around.
  • Induction Ritual: Newly inducted members are stapled to the walls surrounding Red Square and must remain there for 24 hours with neither food nor drink.
  • How to Spot a Member: Since they are so familiar with the art of automatic stapling, they don’t flinch when they use the automatic stapler on Lau 3.

3: PSYCH (Party School Yearners Changing the Hilltop)

  • Activities: The aim of this group is to make Georgetown seem like more of a party school. While there is not much they can do to change the actual amount of parties or their aftermath, you can find members of PSYCH scattering smashed beer cans across campus and sending SNAPS away from any parties.
  • Induction Ritual: Steal the Healy tower clock hands.
  • How to Spot a Member: Members of PSYCH will walk around the Georgetown neighborhood at night on all days of the week, yelling just loud enough to anger people but not loud enough to get a noise violation.

4: HARD (Hoya Animal Rescue Division)

Teaching animals escape tactics
Teaching animals escape tactics
  • Activities: This group, a splinter of the “All Animals Matter” movement, wants to save the lives of all animals on campus. They dismantle the numerous rat traps on campus, eat solely at Leo’s (because Leo’s is staunchly against serving real meat) and have attempted to dog-nap Jack the Bulldog and release him into the wild.
  • Induction Ritual: This group has its own Tinder account with pictures of animals. All you have to do is match with them and profess your love of animals and you’re in.
  • How to Spot a Member: They can almost always be found at Crumbs & Whiskers, the local cat cafe.  They may go there under the guise of seeking a great cappuccino, but they’re really in it for the cats.  An afternoon spent there is purr-fect in their eyes.

Don’t tell anyone about these groups, lest they will no longer ~secret~ societies.

colbert secret

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, CDN1.vox.com

OMG: Tomorrow is National Guacamole Day

NGD

Attention: Guac lovers of the world

Tomorrow is the day. It’s like Christmas, Rosh Hashanah and my birthday all rolled into one. Yep, you guessed it, it is National Guacamole Day (NGD, for those in the know)!

e56bad60-d430-0132-9abf-0e01949ad350

As this is a national holiday, you are basically mandated by the U.S. Constitution to eat GUAC. Come on people, it is your god given right as an American citizen!

If you are left wondering how to best celebrate this holiday, do not fret. 4E has got you covered.

Here is how I, the queen of guac, mandate you should spend NGD:

1.Visit your favorite guac serving restaurant. Whether that be El Centro (try their Guacamole Festival menu!) or Chipotle, as long as you have some guac in your life your day will be instantly better.

2.Do not mention paying more for guac. While you should never do this, on this holy day you should especially not mention the extra $2.05 that transforms your regular Chipotle burrito bowl to a heavenly experience.

HuOxTGw
Leo knows the guac costs extra

 

3.Wear all of your guac-pparel. Because, obviously you have this. I will personally be sporting my “I heart Guac” t-shirt. Get ready to be jealous. I am ready for my close up.

guac-shirt-tote

4.Post on social media about your BFF (guac). Nothing says “Happy Holidays” like an Instagram of you and your BFF guac doing a variety of fun activities. TBT that time you guys went kayaking on the Potomac! SOOOO CUTE.

5.Be creative and make your own guac! PSA: If you do this please contact me personally and let me know. I would be more than happy to be your tester. I know a thing or two about guac.

rhobh-420-yolanda-guacamole
My favorite words

6.Attend the “Make your own Guac” class at Leo’s! Tomorrow. O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront. Lower Level. 5 p.m. Be there, or be a NARP.

Guac today, Guac tomorrow, Guac forever.

Photos/Gifs: lovelace-media.imgix.net/; imgur.com; https://nachosny.com/; bravotv.com; https://www.organicauthority.com

Hasta La Vista Bandolero

1

Attn: Georgetown Lovers of Guacamole, Tapas and Margaritas 

4E received some sad news this week. Bandolero, an M Street Tapas hot spot, will be closing after years of legal problems.

Bandolero is known for their all day happy hours and quasi-affordable food options. It was an institution for many a Georgetown student.

Bandolero’s closing comes after the closure of both the restaurant Tackle Box and the popular bar Rhino. WHY ARE BAD THINGS HAPPENING TO GOOD INSTITUTIONS?! We are losing the Georgetown food staples. What are they going to replace it with, another inappropriately overexpensive store? Why do we need that? Food > Clothes.

As of now, the actual date of closure is unknown. Knowing M Street management, Bandolero will probably gone soon. Go get your fill while you still can.

Let’s raise a glass to the place we love. Taco Tuesdays will never be the same.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-29826-1369935144-6

As a Guac enthusiast I just have to say, thank God we still have El Centro. (Knocks on wood.)

Thanks to the Washington City Paper for letting us know about this tragic event.

Photos/Gifs: danielswartz.com; buzzfeed.com

Life Hacks: Midterm-Style

midterms

Tis the season…

giphy-5

Oh wait, not that season!!

EVEN BETTER: MIDTERMS SEASON!

4E is back and ready to help you combat them. In 2012 we told you some great tips, but have decided with all of the advancement in the world that we needed to elaborate and update our advice to catch up with the times:

  1. Relax. ‘nuf said.

giphy-2

2. Take Breaks. Here are a few ideas:

Call that one weird uncle we know you have and ask him for life advice.

Prep for the upcoming weekend festivities by teaching yourself the infamous Hoedown Throwdown which is sure to come in handy.

Try to teach yourself a new language. Better yet, make up your own and share it with all your friends via the book of face (read: Facebook)! Then, only communicate using your new language when answering phone calls, texts and instant messages.

3. Make Plans.

Perhaps a full detail layout for your best friends wedding! She didn’t ask you to, but that’s what friends are for, right?

You’ve been assigned a secret mission to trek across the country. How will you do it? By foot, tricycle, a combination of the two? Better start working on logistics.

Maybe you’re concerned about retirement. If so, you could take a brief study break and research all of the possibly nursing homes throughout the world that cater to your specific tastes, accessibility, and climate.

4. Keep Working on Your Fitness.

Our primary suggestion would be to find an open building on campus during a busy time of the day and sprint up and down the stairs repeatedly while chanting a personal mantra or favorite chorus. Should you choose to pursue this phenomenal idea please do so dressed like this:

Screen Shot 2015-02-23 at 10.57.36 PM

5Stay organized. Sock drawer is priority.

6. Naps on naps on naps. (With a little twist). Dare you consider pulling an all nighter you must:

Do it in Lau: capitalize on the misery in anyway you can.

Bring your mattress. (SLUMBER PARTY!)

And Footy PJs.

And your retainer, do not forget your retainer.

giphy-3

7. Reward yourself. (read: TREAT YO’SELF):

This can be done in a multitude of ways but we advise chocolate, excess carbs, Netflix, dancing, bananagrams, spinny chairs, sweat pants, friendship, rooftops, M street, Chipotle, running (or not running if that’s your thing), real mac n cheese, more footy pjs, people watching, guacamole, Snapchat, Buzzfeed, girl scout cookies, ice cream and so forth…..

Just Don’t Forget to Remember:

A number does not define you or your future.

giphy-4

 Photos/Gifs: ironwoodcrossfit.com, giphy.com, tumblr.com

GUAC: Behind the Scenes

GUAC

Behind the Scenes of G.U.A.C. is a 4E series about developing a new club at Georgetown. Courtney Klein is the deputy editor of 4E and the co-president of G.U.A.C.

If you are active on Facebook or enjoy stalking me, you might know about a little thing called G.U.A.C. (Georgetown University Avocado Club).

Freshman year my roommate (the unbelievably whitty Keaton O’Neil) and I discovered the amazingness of this acronym, using it as a party trick to pretend we were “cool freshmen” (results of this are debatable). Two years later, we are actually doing it. Who would have thought?

Why? Keaton and I are both involved on campus, one might say we are too busy. But, we always wanted to have our own legacy to brag about. While Keaton doesn’t eat avocados (I know, ridiculous) she claims that “she wants to see them flourish”. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am basically in a committed relationship with avocados. The love is mutual. Obviously, we are the perfect pair to make this pipe dream club a reality.

The first step on our journey was attending a new club meeting hosted by CAB. I was forwarded the CAB event email like 3 times so I knew I had to go. At the meeting, Keaton and I realized that becoming a club is a real process and that we needed to get to work. We perfected our application (after many GUAC puns and some ridiculous ideas) and sent it in with all the good vibes.

Our next step was to have a general interest meeting. I merely made an event and within a few days we had over 400 people attending. Naturally, we were freaking out. We had only bought enough guacamole for like 20 people! There were many minor freakouts.

Thankfully, 400 people did not show up. Some people had midterms, others forgot and some people have no excuse and I will talk to them about their life choices. In the end, around 30 avid avo-lovers showed up.

Taken while discussing GUAC
Taken while discussing GUAC

In my unbiased opinion, we were a hit. Our goal with GUAC is to make a club that incorporates real life goals (AKA keeping the drug lords in Mexico out of the avocado business) and a funny love of the amazing avocado. We are huge proponents of avocado puns and jokes, nothing is out of the question.

So what is our plan? Obvi, we are going to have another meeting. We created a list serv, a FB page and are working on preliminary t-shirt designs.

The only wrinkle in our plan is being recognized by CAB. This is an extremely difficult process. Even if we are not recognized this semester, we plan to continue our actions and GUAC love. The man cannot get us down!

If you are interested at all, we urge you to join us. All are welcome and we do not discriminate between avocado lovers and haters.

Stay tuned for more stories and struggles as we pursue our dream!

Photo: Ellen Zamsky/The Hoya

“Hail to Kale”: What’s Happening?!

KALE

IS THIS A DREAM?

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Screen Shot 2015-02-12 at 12.33.34 PM

Topping off his elaborate and noteworthy T-shirts designs, it seems that marketing genius Chris Grosse has done it again. And this time, he has done it with leafy greens!

This Friday, Feb. 13, the first 100 fans to attend the Georgetown Women’s basketball game against Xavier will receive FREE kale. Not only that, but if you have the letters k-a-l-e in your name you’ll get in for FREE (but disregard if you’re a student because you already get in FOR FREE!!)

giphy (3)

4E is not the only group raving about this ingenious idea:

ESPN suggested “The school could also allow people who hate kale to sit together in an area of the arena.”

USAToday seemed to commend the idea, saying “Georgetown women’s basketball is getting healthy for an upcoming home game against Xavier. Or at least having a healthier giveaway than many hoops teams.”

The Washington Post seemed to get the real insider scoop, Dan Steinberg spoke to what we all were thinking when saying:

“I was hoping the first 100 fans would all get bunches of kale, but that’s not the case. Georgetown Dining is actually donating a kale Caesar Salad to the women’s soccer team, which will be manning the concession stand that night. The first 100 fans will get a free cup of kale Caesar salad, which will be for sale at the concession stand. There will also be a lemony kale pizza topping available.”

Nonetheless, still super weird exciting! 

giphy (2)

So exciting that we here at 4E are wondering WHAT’S NEXT?!?!?

Here are our some of our thoughts:

1. Iceberg lettuce. In the spirit of leaves, let us not forget the classics. A head of iceberg lettuce would be the perfect complimentary gift for basketball attendance. Think of how sumptuous your taste buds would feel if they had a whole ball of iceberg lettuce to digest throughout a women’s basketball. You could peel away leaf by leaf for quite a great length of time I’d imagine. It would be so great.

giphy (4)

2. Chia seeds. Nope not a chai latte, but the very spawn of all things chai: seeds (or at least let’s go with that). Apparently, chai means “strength” and folklore has it that the Mayan and Aztec cultures used to use chia seeds for strength, sort of like a prehistoric 5 hour energy. They are also very versatile: they can be used to thicken puddings, soups and meatballs. #letsgettrendy and shower sports goers with Chai seeds!

 

3. Avocados. Okay admittedly this suggestion may be more out of self-interest, but what fruit/vegetable/organic matter is more happening right now than the avocado? I mean look at how expensive they are. An avocado handout would be supreme! #GUAC

4. Beef brains. For those who are not turned off by the thought of eating a once living, functioning organ of the beloved cow with its own thoughts, aspirations and feelings, the beef brain is said to be loaded with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants! Perhaps GUGS could even hand them out pre-game in a patty – now wouldn’t that be nice?

5. Fanny packs. In the spirit of the Providence game’s handout of “seat cushions” that were about as useful as a double block of cardboard (but nonetheless a great thought), Georgetown could #staypractical with the handout of fanny packs! A classic and adorned accessory of the college student and basketball fan.

giphy

Stay tuned and get amped for Tuesday night’s men’s game that will be “‘Merica” themed!

See you tomorrow night!!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com; gangstersaysrelax.com

FREE CHIPOTLE!

menu_burrito

Yes, it is as simple as that.

As guacamole is the main food group of 4E, Chipotle is the Holy Grail. It is the one word, other than Beyoncé, that makes us go weak at the knees.

giphy

Since Chipotle is an amazing company, they are giving away burritos, tacos and bowls for free.

This was basically my reaction:

c7ac9717d6cff22d9ba6733b167f312dOne tiny catch that I probably should mention: you have to order something with “Sofritas”.

Confused? Sofritas is a type of organic tofu that Chipotle has mixed with their amazing seasonings: chipotle chilis and roasted poblano peppers, to name a few.

Basically, Chipotle really wants this to be a thing. So much so that if you buy something with sofritas on Monday, Jan. 26 (tomorrow), they will give you a free entree to use between Jan. 27 and Feb. 28.

As a meat lover, I personally think that the temporary veganness is totally worth it. Honestly, who doesn’t love free Chipotle?

So spice up your life. Take the Sofritas challenge and become my hero.

Thanks City Pages for indulging our love of Chipotle and free things.

Photos: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c7/ac/97/c7ac9717d6cff22d9ba6733b167f312d.jpg; https://media.giphy.com/media/ALLFr8pUn3E3e/giphy.gif; https://www.chipotle.com/en-us/assets/images/menu/menu_burrito.png

Poll: Name the Healey Family Student Center

hfsc nickname poll

OK, Hoyas. We’ve given you a month to get attached to the trendy Healey Family Student Center, and now we’re going to let YOU choose a nickname that does your love for the place justice. Read our picks for the center’s nickname and then vote for your favorite below.

HFSC
Georgetown loves acronyms. HFSC is quick, clear and impossible to say. AChefEssie?

GUHFSC
Pronounced Goofska. You can’t have an acronym without GU — right, GUGS, GUAFSCU, GUTS, GUCC, GUAS and GUAC?

The Deep South
It’s part of New South, but deeper into the south side of campus, deeper into the ground and it’s moving deeper into our hearts. We know the name Deep South has been used for a part of New South but the student center is even more “southern.” (New Deep South is also an option.) With this nickname comes the semi-mandatory dress code of sunbonnets and cowboy boots and a lesson in how to make peach cobbler.

Village D
We have Village A, Village B, Village C West (woohoo!) and Village C East. It only makes sense to add another village to the family.

The SAC
Short for Student Activity Center. It is a center for student activities. And there’s so much room for them! Bang bang.

The Heal
Popularized by OAs during NSO, “The Heal” rolls of the tongue and is easy to type in text messages. Its one drawback is its similarity to the body part, the heel, located on the back of the foot. No one wants to study inside a heel. Heels are gross.

H Fam Stu Cen
Single syllables for the win.

The Nap Trap
Tired during the school day? Go crash on one of those funky looking step couches — no one can use them for studying anyway. The Corp has no coffee presence in the center, so there is no possibility that the smell of delicious (?) coffee will interrupt your slumber.

HGSCGUHFSCSDHadfhkaddu
If an acronym isn’t significantly longer and more cryptic than the name itself, is it really an acronym? While these letters don’t actually stand for anything, this provides an easy way to steal the spotlight from Georgetown’s current most confusing and unnecessary acronym, GUASFCU.

As part of the university’s new agreement to listen to student voices, whatever nickname you choose will probably be carved into the stone patio outside of the center and recreated on the roof of New South using six million giant glow sticks, so it will be visible from above. Cast your vote today and change the future of Georgetown forever.

[cardoza_wp_poll id=26]