Staffer of the Week: Hannah Kaufman

staffer-of-the-week1 Once a week, The Hoya recognizes one or two staffers who have done a particularly awesome job — now you can get to know about them, too. Here’s our interview with Staffer of the Week, Hannah Kaufman:
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Hometown: Huntington, N.Y. (Long Islander, of course)
School: College
Major: History and English
Year: 2017

Why were you named Staffer of the Week?
Because of my DT on fake ID’s, underage drinking and the social life on and off campus. It was my first news piece!

What do you enjoy most while working for the Hoya?
I think working for the Guideis so great, because you get to go to all these artsy fartsy cultural events and a lot of it is free, so your assignment is literally just to have fun with it.

What is your spirit animal? 
Definitely a dragon.

If you could wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would you go?
Does Mars count?

What is your favorite gif ever? 

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For obvious reasons.

Thanks Hannah and congrats!

Photo: Facebook

When You Get Back…

when you get back

The studying has been done. The finals have been taken. The papers have been written. All that’s left to say is . . . Congratulations, Hoyas! You made it through this year! All that’s left to do is sit back, relax and enjoy the summer (read as: intern, take classes and perform endless hours of unpaid labor to increase your human capital/build your resume until school begins again).

When and if — we’ll miss you, seniors — you return to campus this fall, some things will be the same. Rhino and Wisey’s will still be here, and we’re still going to call ourselves the Hoyas. But some things at GU are going to be radically different when you come back. Take a look:

You’re going to be in a different grade

This is for realz. You’re movin’ on up! Freshmen, you’re no longer freshmen. That means that you can’t make stupid mistakes anymore or ask where buildings are. You can’t walk around on Prospect Street in herds listening for noise and hoping to gain entry to a swanky soiree. People will judge you.

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Sophomores, you’re now juniors. You now have to start actually thinking about the real world. So basically, you’ll look like this:

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Juniors, you are now seniors! As in, the big kids. The head honchos. The ones who will be GRADUATING in the spring. It’ll be a bit like this:

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But also like this:

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You get to take new classes!

Remember that one class that you just absolutely despised last semester? It’s gone! So it’ll probably make you feel like this:happy-dancing

Unfortunately, you will still have to take some sort of classes though…

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…but who cares?!

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 You’ll have new fun stories to tell from this summer! 

Whether you traveled the world and had some crazy adventures…

Or did absolutely nothing and will have to make up something so you don’t sound like a loser.

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And if you’re a junior, you AREN’T going to have to eat at Leo’s!

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When you get back, you’re still going to read The Fourth Edition every day!

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And the biggest change of all when you return:

 They’re making Lau look pretty like Healy!

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Just kidding.

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See you next year, Hoyas!

Photo: Alexander Brown/The Hoya, Wikipedia; Gifs: tumblr.com

How to Prepare for the Arrested Development Premiere: Advice from GIFs

arrested development

 

My fellow ‘analrapists’:

Only one month and twenty-two days separate us from the brand new season of Arrested Development being released on Netflix.

Here’s some advice on how you should prepare yourself:

First, GET EXCITED

And make sure to get a lot of rest

Be sure to do all of your homework beforehand so you can watch every episode in one sitting. Maybe getting a tutor will help.

Make sure you’re showered and dressed in appropriate attire

Make some cornballs! Popcorn is overrated and much too safe.

Or if you’re not ambitious enough for the Cornballer, maybe just a banger in the mouth…er sausage in the mouth…I mean, just a sausage.

Patrol the halls outside your room to make sure nobody will hear you laughing at the top of your lungs.

Set up a computer, put it to full screen and remember:

And it’s okay to get emotional while you’re watching:

And if people tell you you’re getting too excited about this, just say

Get ready!