As cuffing season comes to an end, so will the PDA in freshman common rooms. While many were blessed to already find their soulmates in a sweaty Henle, SOME of us have already accepted our permanent statuses as third wheels (I’m not salty, it’s whatever).
Nonetheless, if you’re thinking of ending it with your significant other, consider these trendy spots on the Hilltop.
1. Lau 1: This is the quiet zone, which means no sounds. No one can hear you cry, and you can save yourself the embarrassment.
2. Leo’s on Chicken Tender Thursday: This is your last chance to be featured on @couplesatleos.
3. Yates at 12:01 AM: Word on the street is that the lights spontaneously shut off promptly at 12:01 AM—whether you like it or not. Now, no one can see you weep or mourn over your short-lived relationship.
4. Epi: I’m sure you’ll make friends with the other heartbroken Hoyas who are drunkenly eating away their feelings with a warm chicken quesadilla.
5. Walsh elevator: At least you’ll be in the cramped comfort of 18 people who chose to wait 12 minutes for an elevator instead of taking the stairs to the 3rd floor.
6. GERMS Truck: Treat your alcohol poisoning AND your heartbreak for the price of one expensive and overrated hospital fee.
But fret not—70% of Hoyas marry Hoyas, right? Its always okay to be a #SingleLady.
Take a break from rationing your remaining flex dollars and crying at the thought of having to eat at New Leo’s, because Parents Weekend (a.k.a. Beg Your Parents to Buy You Food Weekend) is upon us. And while it’s certainly nice to see the ‘rents (s/o my fellow #millennials), there are always some moms and dads you should be on the lookout for. To help you out, we’ve complied a list of the five parents you will meet during Parents Weekend:
1. The “Alumnus”
This parent answers the hypothetical question, “What if Jersey Night was somehow a dad?” Get ready for a weekend full of some definitely-not-exaggerated stories about those “wild nights at The Tombs” and how he/she totally used to “party with Patrick Ewing” “back in the day”. The “Alumnus” can usually be found reminiscing about how “the drinking age used to be 18” or how “the basketball team used to be good,” while staring wistfully at Healy and telling you about the time his/her roommate fell out of a New South window. Should you have to interact with one of these parents over the course of your weekend, our best advice is to continually reassure the “Alumnus” that you too love the movie St. Elmo’s Fire, while casually hinting how “cool” it would be if someone could buy you a case of Natty.
2. The “Empty-Nester”
This parent is still having a hard time accepting that the baby of the family is off at college. The Empty-Nester will spend the weekend doing the child’s laundry and thanklessly trying to replicate a home-cooked meal in the middle of a VCW common room. If your parent is the “Empty-Nester”, be sure to blatantly lie reassure them that you are making good choices, exercising regularly, and studying diligently every night before going to sleep promptly at 10 p.m. If you come into contact with someone else’s “Empty-Nester” mom or dad, be sure to nod sympathetically and mention how your own parents have simply replaced you with a dog.
3. The “Well, MY Son/Daughter Doesn’t Drink”
This parent is hopelessly out of touch with reality. When meeting other parents, this mom or dad will immediately assert a (false) superiority by saying some variation of “Well, my [insert child’s name] isn’t much of a partier” or “Well, my [insert child’s name here] is too busy studying to really go out much”. Nine times out of ten, this parent’s beloved child is the same child you once found passed out next to an empty can of Four Loko in a bathroom on a Tuesday night. If you meet one of these parents, resist the urge to show off all those incriminating Snapchats you’ve screenshotted, and simply go along with the naïve charade. Someday, likely in the form of a hospital bill after [insert child’s name here] is GERMSed from falling down the Vil A rooftop steps, the truth behind all those alleged “nights in Lau” will come out. But Parents Weekend is not that day.
4. The “Is This Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend??”
This parent will spend the entire weekend launching a full-scale, Spanish-Inquisition-style investigation into his or her child’s dating life. This will include asking every carbon-based lifeform that comes within ten feet of New South, “So…you and [insert child’s name] are…friends?” If this is your parent, expect a weekend of having your room discreetly searched for evidence, and continually being asked “whom are you texting?” and “is there anything you want to tell me?” as you walk around campus. If you find yourself in a situation where this is one of your friend’s parents, we suggest you remove yourself from this situation as quickly as possible, unless you want to become the next contestant on a never-ending Jeopardy episode where every category is just “Are You Dating My Son???”
5. The “Trump Supporter”
This one goes out to you, Hoyas from Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania. So step away from the “H*yas for Choice” table and rip that “Feel the Bern” sticker off your laptop, because all your friends are about to find out that your parent(s) are wholly responsible for the horrible and embarrassing end of American Democracy as we know it voted for Donald J. Trump. If you want to keep some semblance of familial cordiality and make it through the weekend on speaking terms, follow some of these helpful tips and tricks:
DO NOT mention what happened when Jeff Sessions spoke at the Law School a few weeks ago.
DO NOT mention that Hillary spoke in Gaston last year.
DO NOT mention anything about her famous Hoya Husband either.
DO mention that Steve Bannon and Paul Manafort are alumni? (#notmyhoyas).
So there you have it: The five parents you will meet on parents weekend. From all of us here at 4E: be safe, have fun, and enjoy putting off that midterm paper in favor of getting brunch with the #rents.
So you’re a freshman, huh? Big fish in a little pond? Think again, young Hoya.
Being a freshman at Georgetown isn’t always the easiest. On a campus where your worth is sometimes measured by GPA and the clubs you are or aren’t a part of, you may sometimes have trouble keeping your head above water.
Lucky for you, though: The Fourth Edition is here to help! We’ve compiled a list of the ~best~ tips to help you avoid looking like that typical lanyard-wearing freshman on campus. Take a look:
Don’t wear your lanyard. If you’re able to make it to Georgetown, this hopefully goes without saying. It’s totally OK to have your key on your lanyard in your pocket, but please don’t wear it around your neck. I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t actually see it.
Ask “Who do YOU know here?” This just may be the most common saying at Georgetown. Essentially, its 10:34 p.m. on a Friday night, and after cramming into New South 215 for a pregame of epic proportions, you and your freshman squad roll up to a Village A apartment that seems like its pretty awesome. Unfortunately, you can’t seem to locate the friend-of-a-friend’s-brother that said he would let you in to the party, so you get asked “Who do you know here?” Turn it around and ask the question back to them. It’s never been done. If that doesn’t get you in, just give up.
Know your memes. If you want to really learn about something, textbooks just don’t cut it. Knowing the memes are necessary. This means joining Georgetown’s one-and-only meme page on Facebook. Don’t have a Facebook? Don’t even. Take a look at an one of the page’s more notable posts:
Know the terminology. Memes aren’t enough, since Georgetown has its own lingo. If you learn it early, you should have no problem navigating around campus. You’ll even increase your chances of getting into a party and may not get lost in the ICC coming from HFSC after when you’re studying for a BSFS in IPEC in the SFS! If all of these acronyms are foreign to you, for a not-so-complete list of some of the key terms you should use flashcards to memorize before the fall semester arrives, check here.
Do get lost in the ICC. It may sound strange, but this is sort of a tradition, so much so that even as a senior having had a class every semester but one in the ICC, I still manage to turn the wrong way or get lost in this perplexing building every time I (attempt) to enter or exit, and I can confidently say I am not alone. Getting lost in the ICC is a tradition Georgetown students celebrate from the moment they get on campus till the day they graduate, so why not start early?
Sit by yourself in Leo’s. As an upperclassman, I can say that there is nothing worse than the food at when our beloved dining hall is clogged with swarms of freshmen taking up every chair so the entire floor can eat together. You probably won’t end up talking to any of these people anyways in just a few short weeks, so why don’t you try something new, and sit by yourself? Upperclassman won’t be able to immediately identify you as part of that flock of freshman from VCW 6.
Do not stand in front of Village A rooftops between the hours of 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. on Thursday through Saturday. Perhaps the most identifiable freshman breeding ground, this locale is nothing but trouble for any upperclassman that happens to pass through. My memory of this area is characterized by several things: salmon shorts, GUPD, vomit, squashed cans of Natural Light and swarms of awkward freshman. Don’t associate yourself with this memory. Stand elsewhere when you’re looking for something to do.
Don’t sit on the statue. Georgetown was founded to honor Leo O’Donovan with a waterfront restaurant for the pursuit of knowledge, not the pursuit of your Snapchat stories. The lighting is never just right for a photo on old John Carroll’s lap, so don’t even waste your time. Plus, getting up there is harder than it looks, so especially in the wee hours of the night, it is just never a good idea.
Granted, these tips won’t work for everyone. On a more serious note, if you’re still struggling with something, chances are, there is someone to help you with that! Take a look at some of the resources Georgetown has to offer.
Catch 4E’s latest student tips in next week’s edition of 4E Declassified Freshman Survival Guide!
Freshman year is described as a “time of transition.” It is almost like a second awkward stage since you have to adjust to a completely different lifestyle (except hopefully you’re rocking a better haircut this time around). Perhaps the biggest “no-no” of being a freshman is looking like a freshman. Here are five obvious ways to spotting a freshman.
1. Still Reps Their High School Gear
Yes, your school might have provided you with endless Nike and Under Armor apparel, but perhaps this is best left at home so that you can pledge your allegiance to your new school: Georgetown University. On the other hand…
2. Wears Head to Toe Georgetown Clothing
We get it, you go here!!!! We know how hard you worked to get here and understandably, this comes with quite a bit of school pride. But maybe just pick the Georgetown sweatshirt and don’t go for the full on HoyaSaxa sweatsuit (including Georgetown hat and socks).
3. Wears a Lanyard with a Key Around Their Neck
Much like an ugly haircut during your awkward stage, this is simply a phase every freshman goes through. Learn from it and move on is all that I can say.
4. Actually Dresses Up for Class
No, this is not the Oscars, nor is it another Kardashian wedding. This is class (i.e. a time to catch up on sleep learn). You do not need to wear the finest clothing in your wardrobe. Please take note that athleisure is a trend people!
5. Only Travel in Packs
Have you ever seen a freshman by himself/herself? Probably not. There is safety in numbers and freshmen simply have not learned the concept of independence. We get it! You’re new here and don’t want to look stupid alone. We promise no one is judging what you’re doing; we’re all too busy worrying about whether or not Kim Kardashian will ever return to social media or if Brad Pitt will get more than a monthly visit with the kids.
If you spot a student with one (or all) of these attributes, you can be certain they are a freshman. But hey, go easy on freshmen: you either are living it or have lived through it. The same way you wouldn’t want 4E to investigate your middle school years, freshmen don’t want to be ostracized by their older, significantly cooler peers.
As most of you are packing up your rooms at home or just moving out of your apartments from your internship/summer job days, you’re probably asking yourself: “Am I missing anything?” While this packing process is quite overwhelming, the answer to that question is “Yes.” Yes, you are definitely missing a few back-to-college essentials that we can GUARANTEE you haven’t thought of.
If you are returning to the Hilltop, you may have realized that these items were necessary for your first few days at Georgetown, but for those of you who are new, you will be happy that you came across yet another 4E guide!
Here is our ~unofficial~ back to school list:
Bottle-opener key chain: This item is essential for two reasons.
1. You need something to put your new dorm key on because you do not want to lose it! That $100 lost key charge could be better spent on Wisey’s sandwiches and Saxby’s cold brew! Also, you should probably lose the lanyard A$AP (that’s just 4E’s advice).
2. Once you have ditched that pesky lanyard you got at NSO, a bottle opener key chain will def prove handy when you are out and about “exploring” Georgetown.
Extended phone charger: This item may not sound very cool, but trust me, it is essential when you know you’ll be either sleeping in bunk beds or lofted beds for the next few years. There is nothing worse than having to wake up with no battery on your phone or laying in bed and having to get up to charge it. #FirstWorldProblems
A big-a** bottle of Advil/Ibuprofen: This, my young friends, will be your saving grace. While you should drink water instead of resorting to Advil for those headaches (we won’t discuss how you got those!), we just recommend you have some a lot at hand. You will thank 4E later.
Anything but a mesh trash can: Put quite simply, there will be some unsightly things entering that trash can this year. You don’t want anything leaking on the floor now, do you?
A 21-year-old “friend”: I don’t think I need to explain why this connection is something essential when stepping onto campus as an underclassman.
A fellow freshman with an older sibling at Georgetown: Who better to inform you, you youngin’, of the ins and outs of Georgetown than a living, breathing Hoya? (Answer: 4E, duh. We have all the answers.)
Blotting papers: Listen up – everyone will benefit from purchasing a pack of these to slide in your wallet. D.C. humidity is NOT – I repeat – NOT a joke. Things get sweaty real quick. Stay on top of your game. A great way to earn friends is to ensure they remain as put together as one can when braving the 85 and muggy temperatures of the Hilltop nightfall.
A Costco size jar of Nutella: Take it from someone who knows; there is nothing better to late-night binge eat than a heaping spoonful of Nutella. Unless that spoon has previously been dipped in some Skippy and you’re now slathering the entire mess onto a Double Stuffed Oreo.
A taste for the finer things: Leo’s brunch and plastic bottles of Burnetts now await you. Gone are the days of buying an 18-pack of Bud Light at your town bodega. Natty Light is your drink of choice now. Get used to it.
A dictionary: However, in this case, a Webster simply won’t do. Brush up on your Georgetown lingo before arriving on the Hilltop with this 4E helping hand. Who’s lost in translation? Not you!
Your best smile :) It’s like Annie always said, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile!” The best years of your life await you. Greet them with open arms and you’ll reap the benefits.
Happy study days! There are less than two weeks left of freshman year. It felt like only yesterday that I was trying to figure out what GUTS meant, how to pre-register and find my way around campus (okay the last one may have happened yesterday). But freshman year is almost over, and I have a few end of year freshman fears!
Getting lost isn’t cute anymore. Let’s face it, not knowing where the first floor of ICC was as a freshman is completely acceptable. But as a sophomore, not so much.
I have to leave my beloved VCW. How am I supposed to roll out of bed twenty minutes before class in WGR and still make it on time? I’m sure going to miss waking up to the Jes Res fire alarm. Moving to VCE is going to be such a big change.
I’m going to miss my floor. It’s really comforting to know exactly who wakes you up in the middle of the night with their screaming.
Leo’s won’t change.
I have to choose a major. Next yearI have to choose an acronym that could define the rest of my life ~G[C]ULP~ .
But first I have to get through a few finals and memorize the map of the World.
It’s that liberating feeling you get when you microwave the bowl that you know says “do not microwave.” It’s the surge of energy that shimmers down your spine as you turn the knob of Lau 6 and enter the rooftop. It’s the the fact that you’re not interning on the Hill, applying to be a tour guide, a barista, a consultant, a bank teller… that you’re majoring in the social sciences and spending your free time people watching and loving every second of your meal at Leo’s.
It’s all of these reasons and more that signify your status as a Georgetown rebel.
Were you one of those middle schoolers too busy trying to keep up with the latest trends that you never got the chance to feel the liberation of being the eccentric kid that defies the normal conventions? Were you that kid then, but since coming to Georgetown, have become too normal now and are looking to revert back to your quirky ways?! Well, we’re here to help!
1) Don’t have a Tombs night on your 21st birthday, have an Epi night instead.
Rumor has it they have a disco ball, rocking playlist and speaker system, and good pizza, too!
2) Stop using Bumble and Tinder and start announcing what you’re looking for at the beginning of each class.
Do it I triple-dog-dare you- your professor will probably know just the gal/guy!
3) Sleep 10 hours each night.
Because who on earth wants to hear about the all-nighter you pulled?
4) Join no clubs.
You may then remember to do that thing called ~breathing~.
5) Aspire to be be a scuba-diver, own a popsicle stand or be a background dancer… anything that doesn’t involve the words consulting or finance.
Honestly, who wouldn’t want to bartend in Australia, couch surf at Grandma’s house or explore the arts?
6) Be a senior with a meal plan living in Southwest Quad because you want to.
Freshman will aspire to be you.
7) Don’t set mouse traps. Instead, keep the rats as your furry friends!
Every apartment needs a mascot, right?
Alas, complete all 7 steps and you’ve officially made it past the Georgetown norms and into the final stages of Georgetown rebellion! Welcome!
It is that time of year again, when Lau becomes our second home, Mai Thai delivery orders spike and classroom friendships emerge solely out of necessity.
That’s right, midterm season has hit the Hilltop. While all my midterms are not this week, this “time off” has given me some time to reflect on this horrible time of year. The way I approach midterms nowadays is extremely different than my approach when I was a freshman. Time to take a trip down memory lane…
1. Study Guides:
Freshman Year:You take the time to collaborate with a variety of people to create the most comprehensive study guide in the planet. Naturally, you add your own information to it and even include reading summaries.
Senior Year: Now midterms are a game of Google Docs, and how many smart people can you get to work with you and share their knowledge. There is no way your notes are indicative of what was taught, making finding that Google Doc key. If you think you need reading summaries, you are living in a delusional world. You have real life to worry about, HELLO.
2. Study Groups
Freshman Year: Study groups are a jumping off point for friendships, buddies or whatever may have emerged. You struggle together and all pull your weight. Oh, those good times on Lau 2. Best Friends Forever.
Senior Year: Take a look around your classroom and there is a good chance you don’t know the majority of people in your class. Ugh, don’t you hate being old? Midterms have become a game of “Who do you know?” and the more people you know, the better off you will be. There is much less of a chance of long term friendships in this case, these people will be here after you are gone. Now, that is just sad.
3. Office Hours
Freshman Year: If you didn’t show up to your professor’s office hours at least once during midterms, you are doing something wrong. Naturally, you have to show up with a list of questions and be extremely prepared.
Senior Year: Office hours is now about how much information can you get your teacher to tell you. There is no chance you know enough to ask a question. Time to learn by osmosis.
4. Study Style
Freshman Year: You actually spend time looking good because you are going to Lau and are going to be around people potential love interests. You never know, what if you met the love of your life there? You heard that is a thing, right?
Senior Year: If you make it to Lau, it is an accomplishment. If you look presentable, you get an award. You would only be caught looking better than SWUG-ish if you had an internship or an interview. Other reasons are not acceptable.
5. Coping Methods
Freshman Year: The pain is over, thank god! Time to relax in your New South common room, try to find a good party and catch up with your friends. Not for too long though, those five classes will keep you significantly busy and you don’t want to fall behind!
Senior Year: If you don’t have a drink in your hand at least an hour after your midterm, I will question your life choices. Is it a Monday? Who really cares? Do you? Are you sure you are a senior?
Godspeed friends. Hope your internships, job searches, part time jobs and activities don’t get in your way of passing those midterms. We are rooting for you.
Has it really been 3 years since we, the Class of 2016, were mere Freshies struggling to find our way through the ICC? Yes my friends it has been that long. While I am a firm advocate for not accepting our impending graduation, there is going to come a time when showing up to Brown House parties is no longer acceptable.
In honor of the start of Dis-O tonight with the Leo’s Keg Party, 4E is taking you back to a simpler time.
Let me set the scene: The year was 2012, fall to be exact. The place? Georgetown. Obama hadn’t been re-elected. Libya and Syria were all over the news. Gay marriage was not illegal nation-wide. Kim Kardashian and Kris were still technically married. And these songs were the hits of the time….
“Gangnam Style” – PSY. The song of our NSO, the one that sparked so many awkward dance parties. Man, the last time I Gangnam Style’d… we are not going to get into that. This basically is the song of our generation (Read: but actually not at all).
“Starships” – Nicki Minaj. If you don’t know all the words to this song you are most likely higher than a m***** f***** (you know what I mean). This was the song we all sang along to at the random party when we didn’t know each other. Were we awkward? Yes. Did the upperclassmen laugh at us? Most likely.
“I Knew You Were Trouble” – Taylor Swift. Who could forget when Tay’s newest album, Red, emerged on the scene. My friends and I listened to EVERY SINGLE SONG. I still think to this day that T-Swizzle played a crucial role in the creation of my friend group. Thanks for the memories and all the romantic angst, girl.
“Thrift Shop” – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. I’m 97.6% positive this song sparked the hipster trend at Georgetown. Don’t quote me on that though. Whenever you heard those beginning notes you knew that it was on and that it was time to sing. Did anyone actually know all the words? Or any words other than “grandma’s clothes?”
“Call Me Maybe” – Carly Rae Jepsen. I feel like there was a dance attached to this song. Was that just me? Nonetheless, it was the song of the fall. The amount of people I told to “omg call me maybe” is kinda sad. I should be disappointed with myself. Whatever, I’m still here so I guess I didn’t screw up too much!
“Boyfriend” – Justin Bieber. Ugh, the good old days when Justin was still young and quasi-innocent? Swag, fondue and falsetto. Did ever freshman girl want to be his girlfriend? Because, personally, this song kinda creeped me out. Like, hey dude please leave me along didn’t you get the message I am not interested.
“Too Close” – Alex Clare. This song reminds me of all those 1st week relationships that quickly died out. This song perfectly explains the moment when you realize “oops, we just met and I don’t think I actually like you.” RIP to all the fallen possible lovers.
“Titanium” – David Guetta (Feat. Sia). My fondest memory of this song is me and my friends drunkly singing it at the top of our lungs in front of Tuscany’s (again, RIP). Such empowerment, I don’t think I could have gotten through the emotions and struggles of freshman year without the lyrics of Sia.
“We Found Love” – Rihanna (Feat. Calvin Harris). Freshman year was tough. Thank god we found love (AKA alcohol and friends) in this hopeless place. This is back when Rihanna was still very pop. Doesn’t this song just make you want to hug your friends and look back at all your #mems?
“Good Feeling” – Flo Rida. UGH FLO RIDA FOR THE WIN. The ultimate pump up song. This song completed every party. Every time I hear it a montage of freshman year house parties and all the stupid things I did pops into my head. TBT that time I showed up to Brown House when there was no party. Oops!
We are not gone yet, Class of 2016. Let’s go out with a bang. Happy Dis-O!
Tonight (Sept. 5) at 10:00 p.m. is the event of the year: Club Lau.
Located on the third floor (main entrance floor) of our very own Lauinger Library, Club Lau is the raunchiest, sloppiest, sweatiest night that the library experiences each year (except for non-university-sanctioned events that go on when people sneak into Lau at night???).
Here are the Top 5 reasons you should attend:
1. It only happens once a year.
2. The Insta opportunities are tremendous.
3. It’s the only party of the year that has decent snacks.
4. You can host a sick pregame on Lau 2. Or 4. Or 1. Or 5.
5. It’s Lau’s only chance to be something good.
Be there or be square, Hoyas.
Photo: Me, last night, in the Lau elevator; thestraightorquerr.com