Freshman Fails: If the Sun’s Cradle Rests in the West, but VCE is to My Left Then Where the Hell am I?


freshman-failsWhat is life? I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately. Not in a philosophically deep or soul-searchy way, but because I’m just super confused most of the time.

That girl turning in circles in Red Square? That’s me. I’m a freshman. I don’t know where things are, when I’m supposed to be there, or what any of the acronyms mean (but, who didn’t think NHS was the National Honor Society for a while?)

Luckily, I had the Hoya to fill me in on exactly what a DFMO is. But I still managed to fail in quite a few ways:

  1. I’ve already lost my key once. I’m not used to having to be accountable for these kinds of things.
  2. I’ve lost my GOCard about five times, not remembering if I left it on the mess that is my desk, the mess that is my floor, or in the mess that is my backpack.
  3. I signed up for the 24 meal swipe plan, because how could I possibly eat less than 3 meals a day? Leo’s. Leo’s is how.
  4. I always go really hard at the fight song, but once we get to the part about the western skyline and cradles, I just sink into my Georgetown sweatshirt and hope no one sees me mouthing nonsense. Don’t worry, I totally redeem myself by chanting “Saxa!” when the song is over. I mean, are freshmen even allowed to lead with “Hoya”?
  5. I waited ten minutes at Midnight Mug for my drink to show up, even though it was sitting right in front of me, because I just assumed that all lattes were iced lattes. Though, this might not be a freshman thing, this might be a “Me” thing…
  6. In general, specialty coffees make me nervous. Especially at Uncommon Grounds where the writing on the menu is so small and hard to read. Helpful Hint: The register is not the place to bust out your distance glasses with your phone in one hand, your wallet in the other, and ten hungry people wait behind you.
  7. I went to late-night Yates. Everyone was there.
  8.  I went to late-night Leo’s right after late-night Yates. The only food there included a few slabs of unwanted meat and, conversely, nobody was there.
  9. I asked multiple people if they were freshmen when I wasn’t sure. It’s like asking a woman if she’s pregnant. You just don’t do it. If you’re not sure just guess that they’re juniors.
  10. Same goes for asking sophomores if they’re transfers. I live in VCE so that happens pretty often and those who aren’t transfers get weirdly offended.
  11. I tweeted an academic revelation from Lau. No favorites. No retweets. It hurt. But I’m going to tell you about it anyway. “Sigh No More” by Mumford and Sons is totally based on “Much Ado About Nothing”. Half the lines are direct quotes from the play. If that’s not tweet-worthy I don’t know what is.
  12. And every freshman failed at least a few of the alcohol awareness questions, right?

So, I failed a lot. What do you want from me? I’m a freshman. I figure I might as well laugh at the failures instead of trying to act like I’ve got it all figured out, because I’d probably fail at that too.

Freshman Fails: What’s a DFMO?

So I’m a freshman – you were all in my shoes at some point, but it doesn’t make those shoes any less awkward. And nothing is funnier than the misfortune of others, so here is a list of 10 of my more embarrassing Georgetown moments that only a freshman could have:

1. I walked into the library, located the stairs, and proceeded to walk UP to find Lau 2.

2. I didn’t know that Wisey’s was a nickname for Wisemiller’s and tried to figure out where it was by Googling “Wisey’s”.

3. I’ve still never had an Oreo cookie from the aforementioned Wisey’s.

4. I thought you could use flex dollars at Sweetgreen and was accordingly confused when my card said insufficient funds.

5. I left my laundry unattended… bad choice.

6. I had to look up “dfmo” on urban dictionary.

7. I still don’t know where Brown House is, or why it’s called Brown House. I’m assuming it’s because it’s brown. But I wouldn’t know.

8. I wore uncomfortable shoes to D.C.’s Fashion’s Night Out and have the blisters to prove it.

9. I tried to take a sandwich and a fruit cup from Grab-and-Go and got yelled at by the attendant. Apparently EVERYONE knows that a fruit cup is considered an ENTRÉE. DUH.

10. I walked all the way through the University Hotel to get to Starbucks, unaware that there was a much faster and direct route through Hoya Court.

I do genuinely hope this will be my last ‘Freshman Fails’ post, but let’s be realistic, I still have a lot to learn about Georgetown. So stay tuned for more humor at my expense.

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