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The Five Stages of Being Sick at Georgetown

If you haven’t spent these past weeks drowning in used tissues and Advil, this Hoya desperately wants to know your secret.  Yes! You heard that barely concealed coughing fit from the back of your crowded microeconomics lecture correctly, the Georgetown Plague™ is upon us.

While we may be living in a petri dish, at least the relatability of this struggle can be exploited by your friends at 4E. Here are the five stages of being sick on the Hilltop:

1. Attempting home remedy

Throat coat?  Check. Advil?  Check. Suddenly wishing you were pre-med?  Check. All of the Aspirin that you packed from home might be able to save you, right?  Right??

Although copious amounts of tea and Tylenol can’t stop your impending doom, it won’t stop you from trying! 

2. Taking a trip to the Student Health Center

After your own medical knowledge fails, surely Georgetown, the fine institution you are paying your life savings to attend, will be able to rescue you from yourself!  A quick 30-minute phone call later, you’ve booked an appointment to see a doctor… next Thursday.

3. Accepting your fate

It’s true!  Sometimes you need to be sick in order to appreciate being well — or, at least, that’s what you tell yourself to feel better! Your roommate has to inevitably put up with 4 a.m. coughing fits, and you have to fight through that 9 a.m. lecture while putting up with dirty looks from students and professors alike.

Apparently, being sick is a natural part of life. Just one that no one wants to experience.

4. Freedom

The long journey comes to an end. Alas now, you have no more excuses for procrastinating your midterm paper!

The sudden rebirth you feel is accompanied by a newfound appreciation for health, along with promises to work out at Yates every day and stop eating Chick-Fil-A every night.

 

5. Repetition

That’s right folks, your already-weakened immune system will inevitably fail you again!  The close quarters of dorm life and crowded Vil A rooftops are breeding grounds for contamination.  

But fear not!  Because if you can survive the Georgetown Plague™, you can easily survive anything the Hilltop throws your way.

From all of us here at 4E, get well soon!

Sources: giphy.com, choicechiropractic.net

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The Best Things About Flu Season

Although midterms are starting to pick up steam, it seems like “Flu Szn” is at its peak since almost everyone you know is suffering from a terrible strain. The flu is awful, but looking past those sleepless nights where you lay in bed, shivering and coughing your lungs out,…

…having the flu is not so bad. In fact, here are the best things about getting the flu.

Missing Class

It’s every kid’s dream to skip school, and now your dream has come true. You don’t have to listen to annoying professors promote their own book that they made you buy for class. Finally, for one day, you don’t have to go to your Econ lecture and sit there confused, wondering what one could possibly do with an English major.

TV

Having the flu means bed rest, and bed rest means binge-watching every TV show possible. Who knew it only takes 2 days, 14 hours and 24 minutes to watch all of Game of Thrones?

Weight Loss

Want to lose weight? Don’t want to embarrass yourself at Yates? Well no need to fear, the newest diet trend of 2018 is here! With one dose of the influenza virus, you can get rid of the “freshman 15” in only three days!

Bonus: Downstairs Leo’s will taste as good as…upstairs Leo’s when you finally start eating again!

Sobriety

The flu will make you experience your first weekend in college completely sober! What a strange feeling it is to not shove disgustingly flavored Burnett’s down your throat as you walk through a sweaty, fire-hazardous Henle while trying to breathe through all that mango-scented Juul smoke that may (or may not, who knows) give you cancer.

Despite all these benefits, the flu still sucks, and you can’t wait to start partying “studying” again with your friends. Just make sure to wash your hands and don’t share drinks!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, youvisit.com

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Georgetown Fall Epidemics: Weather, Fashion and Other Horrific Plagues

Fall EpidemicsIt’s that time of the year again, Hoyas: Georgetown is being plagued by the autumn and fall epidemics of every sort are spreading like Chicken Finger Thursday madness, and there isn’t anything we can do to stop them. I have nobly taken it upon myself to guide you through this insanity with some survival tips! I’ve compiled a list of the top four worst epidemics, so let’s go through them together and hopefully make it out alive:

Fall Weather Epidemic The winds are changing – literally. If you haven’t noticed the drastic difference in weather, look up: Between the dark, looming clouds, the chilled winds and that week of incessant rain that pounded the Hilltop (although that could have easily been the birds and insects crying over D.C., lamenting the government shutdown), it’s clear that D.C. weather has arrived. The weather may have been nice today, but don’t be fooled! D.C. Fall Weather Epidemic comes and goes faster than you can say, “Oh, look! The catastrophic rain stopped!” Just know that surviving these fall weather disasters is all about mindset. Be confident in your sweaters and umbrellas, move quickly when outdoors and don’t let that hurricane-level wind tunnel between Healy and Copley knock you down!

October Midterm Epidemic When your friends at other universities ask you when you have midterms and you reply, “forever,” you know that you’re caught up in the October Midterm Epidemic. Here at Georgetown, we don’t really have “midterm season”. Midterms begin at the beginning of October and continue until finals start. Unfortunately, every Hoya must trudge through weeks of studying, writing and testing until their fingers are bruised from typing, their notebooks are ruined by the tears and their pencils and spirits have broken. But, wait, there’s hope! Surviving midterms is difficult if you make it difficult. Keep calm, study early and don’t get caught on Lau 2 at 3 a.m. talking about all the work you need to do but aren’t doing.

The Flu Epidemic You didn’t think I would forget about actual epidemics, did you? I know as well as you do that the flu is not a game, but if it were we would all lose. In the middle of the October Midterm Epidemic, the Flu Epidemic would surely destroy us all. Nobody looks forward to taking their midterms or stays up all night studying with a smile on their face, so imagine how unproductive we would be with the flu on top of everything else! In order to skirt this terrible epidemic, stay on top of your health game. Also, make sure you drop by Yates on Oct. 22nd, Oct. 30th, Nov. 7th, Nov. 13th, or Nov. 19th at the designated hours to get your free vaccination – holla!

Georgetown Fall Fashion Epidemic Goodbye to Nantucket Red, hello thrift store flannel (Blog editor Lindsay Lee is rejoicing)! Because of this epidemic, every Hoya and their Jesuit father will start swapping their flashy summer garb for something more suitable for the temperature. To survive, blend in with the crowd: say goodbye to your favorite pair of shorts and cover those gams with something a bit warmer. Maybe dust off that winter coat you never unpacked from your move-in day luggage bag. But, here’s my favorite tip: it’s officially in-style to dress for comfort, which means comfy pajamas (my specialty), over-sized scarves and ugly sweaters are a go! However, make sure to avoid peacoats and artisan woolen socks: these are tell-tale signs that you are doing too much and need to do less … or you will face being sucked in to the epidemic.

That’s all of the epidemics for now! If you see me out there owning these epidemics, I’ll be the sleep-starved, brain-fried one in flannel pajamas finally done with his midterms crying over his flu shot and avoiding the outdoor weather at all costs. Hopefully, I’ll see you surviving as well! Keep calm and good luck!

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How to Beat the Flu (Before it Happens)

Sneeze PicIt’s that time again, Hoyas: BeWell Week. So if your life is anywhere near as ironic as mine tends to be, you’re either deathly ill or you’re about to become so in the coming days. And, chances are, you’re about to get hit with that bizarre throatache-turned-flu that’s been hitting campus harder than these gymnasts hit the mat.

While 4E has given you tips and tricks before for beating illnesses, we’ve never really told you how to prevent them. So, before you catch the strange bug that’s going around, follow some of these pointers to keep yourself in tip top shape:

1. Don’t touch the railings I know, the Hilltop is covered in stairs. And I know, that means the Hilltop is covered in railings, too. But I beg you, please do not touch them. Handrails are homes to all sorts of viruses, bacteria and germs (E. coli and mucus are quite common… Yuck!) Just work your legs a bit harder than usual and don’t grab those railings.

2. Carry wet-wipes and/or a container of Purell This goes along with good ol’ #1 (see above). If you aren’t going to touch anything, then it might get a wee bit difficult opening doors, walking up stairs and going to the ATM. A little bit of sanitizer can go a long way, people.

3. Beat your illness before it starts I made a quick trip to Vittles today to give you the scoop on preventative medication.

One-A-Day Vitamins: $11.19 for a mega bottle.
Airborne immune booster: $9.29.
Emergen-C immune pack: $8.25.
Not getting devastatingly ill while the rest of Georgetown does: not priceless, but pretty darn close.

4. Eat well Neither The Hoya nor The Fourth Edition advocate stealing an orange or two from Leo’s, but I personally do, especially if it means beating the common college cold. Stick to those fruits and veggies; they naturally pack a punch to any of those pesky viruses that are circulating. Also, get some electrolytes in your system and use a healthy diet to keep your immune system in peak condition.

5. Get some (more) sleep I’m not trying to make a joke. Really. Though it’s really difficult to find any time to sleep while trying to balance the million and five things you’re juggling as a Hoya, getting 8-9 hours will save you a lot of grief in the future. Do it now, or you’re going to be doing it in a few days… just with a 102-degree fever.

Now, get Purell-ling, stop touching, start sleeping and prevent those illnesses, Hoyas!