The 5 Parents You Meet on Guided Tours

Guided ToursGuided tours are often the first experience that a prospective student has with any given college, but it’s often not just students who are present. These tours are an important experience for parents as well. It is a virtual guarantee that you will run into at least one of the following kinds of parents on any college tour:

1. The Alumnus

Attending Georgetown can often become a family tradition, so you are bound to run into alumni of various attitudes. Maybe they will want to reminisce about the “good ol’ days” that the tour guide has obviously not experienced, or maybe they are out to prove that they know more about their alma mater than their guide does. Regardless of their motives, don’t be surprised when you hear all about a die-hard Hoya’s Tombs Night while you are really trying to learn about Lau.

2. The “Social” Parent

Arguably, this parent could be considered polite or friendly, but they can be annoying nonetheless. This is the parent who attempts to make friends with all of the other parents on the tour, and attempts to make their child friends with everyone, too. If you come across one of these parents, you might just see a future classmate’s baby picture.

3. The Party Parent

This parent, whether they are a “helicopter parent” or a former frat star, will ask incessant questions specifically about the social life on campus. The tour guide will be obviously uncomfortable and unable to answer most of these questions, but that won’t stop the Party Parent from asking, “So what do Hoyas really do on the weekend?” with a not-so-subtle wink.reginas-mom-meme-generator-i-m-not-like-a-regular-mom-i-m-a-cool-mom-bb7047

4. The Parent With All the Questions

In the same vein as the Party Parent, the Questioner will bombard the tour guide with a never-ending interrogation. The questions will be about everything, ranging from the dining hall to CHARMS to class sizes to your favorite movie watched during the first three weeks of the second semester of your junior year. If you really want to learn about a school, having this kind of parent on your tour might actually be helpful. Or painful.

5. The Photographer

In the age of the smartphone, taking pictures on the go is easier than ever before. This makes college tours seemingly perfect for photo-ops. However, this parent goes a little too far, trying to get a picture of everything, often falling behind. Pictures can be great, but you don’t want to end up watching a tour through your iPhone camera. One thing’s for certain, though: This parent will definitely get the quintessential Healy shot from Lau steps. #InstagraMondays, anyone?

Maybe your parent falls into one of these categories, or maybe you’ve just witnessed these kinds of parents in action. Either way, it wouldn’t be a college tour without the lovely adults tagging along.

Photo: youngmegan.wordpress.com, salon.com

The Five People You’ll Meet in a GAAP Facebook Group

Gaining acceptance into Georgetown meant many things to all of us: congratulatory cards from relatives you haven’t talked to in years, celebratory dinners with friends and family, a plethora of letters and pamphlets with a zillion confusing acronyms from the university itself, and then the most exciting thing of all…officially joining the GAAP Facebook Group.

Some of you probably went straight online following the good news, “liking” Georgetown University on Facebook, updating your status, hardcore browsing the bookstore’s website for some Hoya gear, and finally joining the group that you had most likely been stalking for quite some time now.

With acceptance letters to the Class of 2017 officially out, we at the 4E thought it would be idea to take stock of “The Five People You’ll Meet in a GAAP Facebook Group”:

1. The Curious One This incoming freshman has a lot of questions about his/her incoming classmates as well as life on the Hilltop. Common questions include, “Who is from Jersey? JERSEY PRIDE :)” or “Is anyone going to GAAP weekend the 14th? If so, message me we can meet up!!” or “Wait did anyone get their NetId yet?” or even “PLEASE tell me someone likes The Princess Bride as much as I do or I am going to have to transfer. Haha just kidding! But seriously.” The Curious One shoots out questions that can range from any and all topics. Tip for incoming froshies: Although it is great to get to know your fellow classmates, don’t be that guy who posts questions in the group 24/7. You will come to regret it.

2. The “She Doesn’t Even Go Here” This person either doesn’t go to Georgetown or is not in the group’s specified class. They are either there to impart wisdom, spam the group, advertise their respective student groups. You may very well become one of these people some day!

3. The “So, Who is Ready to Party Next Year?!” One Ah, yes. The classic soon to be freshman in college who can only think about the crazy freshman year they are about to experience. This person is beyond excited to leave those high school days behind and get straight to business. There will usually be a significant amount of likes and comments on this person’s post. Although people might say this is exactly what not to do on a GAAP Facebook Group, we have all seen at least one over zealous kiddo who just couldn’t help it.

4. The “Sign Up For This and You Can Get 15% Off” One In all honestly, I don’t really know who these mysterious spammers are. Do they go to Georgetown? What year are they? Can you really get that iPhone for free if you sign up for that monthly newsletter? All I know is that these spammers frequent the GAAP group on the reg. so watch out little freshies and only partake in what you know is legit.

5. You You check the group every now and then when you’re bored in lecture, or post to sell your ticket for the basketball game when you have too many midterms that week. You think the Facebook group try-hards could use a hobby, but the group is useful when you’re advertising an event.

The Five People You’ll Meet at a Basketball Game

Well, folks, it’s back. By ‘it’, we mean the beacon of hope amidst these trying times. Among papers, finals and crying in the corner of Lau, it’s the light at the end of the tunnel, the ray of sunshine beaming through your window on a soft and snowy morning, the central tenet of your existence for the coming months. Yes, Hoyas, it’s basketball season.

The Hoyas might only be four games into the season, but even in four short games, one must learn to expect the unexpected with Hoya Basketball … cough cough, UCLA. But, in the spirit of our favorite game and our favorite time of year, here is something every Hoya fan can come to expect when he or she steps into the hallowed Verizon Center. Here are the five people you’re sure to meet at a Hoya Basketball Game:

The Drunken Potty Mouth It isn’t Hoya Basketball if this person isn’t at the game. They smell a little bit like beer, and they sound a little bit like this. Beware, opposing team, nothing is off-limits for this person. Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife, hide yo’ husband, and hide yo’ point guard, because they’re cussin’ err’body out here.

The Fan Who Doesn’t Know Anything About Basketball This person is virtually the opposite of our friend Joe (see below). He or she is characterized by looking the wrong way during the game, cheering for offense instead of saying defense, and consistently asking, “What just happened?” They probably aren’t wearing the Student Section Shirt, and they actually probably don’t even go here.

The Stats Freak This person knows that the Hoyas are 0-1, that Otto Porter used to average 8.1 points per game (we miss you, Otto!), that David Allen is exactly 6 foot 2, and that Tyler Adams is 2 for 2 in free throws this season. If you’re sitting next to this numbers-junkie, we’re sorry. But there’s a 95.6% chance that he or she isn’t.

Joe Fiorica The man. The myth. The legend. Hoya Blue’s fearless leader. Our loudest chanter. The President, nay, almighty ruler of Georgetown’s go-to group for sports-enthusiasts and school-spirit-junkies. If you don’t see Rennie screaming in the front of the student section, either he’s dead or you’re in the wrong stadium.

You You’re the happy mix of everything: the Hoya fan, the basketball fan and the social butterfly. You’re out to have a good time, spend an evening with your friends, and watch the Hoyas crush their opponents … watch out, rivals. So kick back, friend. Just relax, and enjoy the arena food. Hoya Saxa!

Photo: Georgetown Univeristy

The Five People You’ll Meet On Lau 2

Midterms. You’re stressed, you’re scared, you’re underprepared. Your hall is loud at all hours of the night, the Leavey center is just too far from your dorm, and you’re desperately looking for a place to study. You also can’t stand extreme silence while you work and so you head to Lau 2. Here’s a little guide to the five people you may find there:

1. The Loner They tend to sit alone at a table built for six with their headphones on and their heads buried behind their Macbook pros. You’re probably wondering to yourself why they aren’t just in a cubicle. It would serve them the same purpose and then you wouldn’t have to push those awkwardly shaped tables outside of Midnight Mug together so that your Spanish study group can actually sit in the same place.

2. The Crazy Whether they’re sitting on the ground in defeat after trying to get their laptop charger to reach the closest-but-still-not-very-close outlet, or they’re pulling their hair out at 3am while poring over Hobbes’ Leviathan, they kind of scare the living crap out of you. These people have clearly lost it and you should probably steer clear of them in case they have a nervous breakdown and go psycho on you.

3. The Social Butterfly There’s always that one person flitting from table to table, engaging their masses of friends in conversation as though they don’t have a care in the world. They’ll probably return to their respective table at some point, pull out their computer and Skype with a friend while browsing through some of last weekend’s Facebook pictures. They might even pull out a deck of cards and play Spit with their fellow butterflies.

4. The Sleeper This is pretty self-explanatory. This poor soul has fallen asleep in one of those red-ish/brown chairs in the middle of the room with their mouth lolling open while their forgotten psychology reading falls from their lap. Maybe they’re just field-testing Freud’s philosophies on dreaming?

5. You You’ve got Self Control turned on with an extensive blacklist, your trusty Red Eye in hand to get you through the 1 a.m. slump, and you have a six page theology paper due tomorrow of which you have finished approximately zero pages of. And now you’ve just wasted a solid half hour watching the other people on Lau doing questionable things… and then another 10 minutes reading this blog post. Better get to work!

The Five People You’ll Meet During Hurricane Sandy

Sandy, you’re the one that we want. Well… at least until the wind, rain and chill sets in… We’re all mutually soaking in the joy at not having classes, but Hurricane Sandy changes people. So here is a little guide for the five people you will meet during Hurricane Sandy.

1. The Paranoid One If you were to walk into this person’s dorm room you’d probably find 2-3 flashlights, complete with enough extra batteries to power all the clocks in the ICC. If you open their fridge you’d find gallons of water (despite the fact that tons of free water is falling from the sky…) They’ve probably built some sort of bomb shelter stocked with Twinkies in case Sandy somehow turns nuclear.

2. The Non-Believer Despite the sheets of rain, aggressive wind and city-wide shut downs, this person refuses to acknowledge that there is a hurricane going on. They continue to go on with their normal schedules and tweet holier-than-thou remarks about how Hurricane Sandy is ‘totally not a big deal’ and how they’re going to go for a jog or run errands on M street casually. Yes, good luck with that.

3. The Partier HURRICANE SANDY RAGERRRRR. Nobody’s mad. Apparently, to this person, when classes are cancelled it means that all obligations and responsibilities are also cancelled. That test that they were supposed to have today? Hah, no longer a concern. HOMEWORK, I VANQUISH THEE.

4. The Scrooge-Professor Some of you may be unlucky enough to encounter one of these. While you’re in the midst of celebrating not having to turn in your work or do the readings, this professor is looking for a way to rain on your hurricane. You will most likely receive an email from them, asking you to e-mail your homework in or complete an extra assignment about that day’s reading. Cue huge groan.

5. You You’re trying to be pumped about the time off but can’t shake the feeling that you really should be writing that history paper you have due Friday. You’re just enjoying the excuse to wear sweatpants everywhere without being judged and trying to recuperate from Halloweekend part I. But hey, this storm wont last forever so if I were you, I’d stop reading this blog post because your teachers are going to go full throttle when classes start again to make up for all this time off. Time to break out the books…or the pumpkin lattes and Netflix, either works.