The Five People You’ll Meet in a GAAP Facebook Group

Gaining acceptance into Georgetown meant many things to all of us: congratulatory cards from relatives you haven’t talked to in years, celebratory dinners with friends and family, a plethora of letters and pamphlets with a zillion confusing acronyms from the university itself, and then the most exciting thing of all…officially joining the GAAP Facebook Group.

Some of you probably went straight online following the good news, “liking” Georgetown University on Facebook, updating your status, hardcore browsing the bookstore’s website for some Hoya gear, and finally joining the group that you had most likely been stalking for quite some time now.

With acceptance letters to the Class of 2017 officially out, we at the 4E thought it would be idea to take stock of “The Five People You’ll Meet in a GAAP Facebook Group”:

1. The Curious One This incoming freshman has a lot of questions about his/her incoming classmates as well as life on the Hilltop. Common questions include, “Who is from Jersey? JERSEY PRIDE :)” or “Is anyone going to GAAP weekend the 14th? If so, message me we can meet up!!” or “Wait did anyone get their NetId yet?” or even “PLEASE tell me someone likes The Princess Bride as much as I do or I am going to have to transfer. Haha just kidding! But seriously.” The Curious One shoots out questions that can range from any and all topics. Tip for incoming froshies: Although it is great to get to know your fellow classmates, don’t be that guy who posts questions in the group 24/7. You will come to regret it.

2. The “She Doesn’t Even Go Here” This person either doesn’t go to Georgetown or is not in the group’s specified class. They are either there to impart wisdom, spam the group, advertise their respective student groups. You may very well become one of these people some day!

3. The “So, Who is Ready to Party Next Year?!” One Ah, yes. The classic soon to be freshman in college who can only think about the crazy freshman year they are about to experience. This person is beyond excited to leave those high school days behind and get straight to business. There will usually be a significant amount of likes and comments on this person’s post. Although people might say this is exactly what not to do on a GAAP Facebook Group, we have all seen at least one over zealous kiddo who just couldn’t help it.

4. The “Sign Up For This and You Can Get 15% Off” One In all honestly, I don’t really know who these mysterious spammers are. Do they go to Georgetown? What year are they? Can you really get that iPhone for free if you sign up for that monthly newsletter? All I know is that these spammers frequent the GAAP group on the reg. so watch out little freshies and only partake in what you know is legit.

5. You You check the group every now and then when you’re bored in lecture, or post to sell your ticket for the basketball game when you have too many midterms that week. You think the Facebook group try-hards could use a hobby, but the group is useful when you’re advertising an event.

What’s the Difference?

WHATS THE DIFFERENCE

If you’ve been on Facebook at all during this school year, you’ve seen various anonymous Facebook pages cropping up and posting all over your newsfeed, tagging your friends, and getting into feuds. These pages were built for people professing love, teasing friends, confessing to naughty deeds, or used by Hoyas just trying to broadcast a joke about Leo’s or Lau. Some of you may be asking “what’s the difference?” Thankfully for you, The Fourth Edition is here to put a magnifying glass up to the nuances.

Georgetown Compliments – Georgetown Compliments was the first of these pages to appear on the Facebook scene and was used as a method of brightening the days of the people in our lives while retaining anonymity. People submit their entries by Facebook message and leave ultimate power to the person running this Facebook account.

Georgetown Insults – Georgetown Insults arose shortly after its counterpart mentioned above. Its main purpose is similar to Georgetown Compliments but with a different tone: instead of using an anonymous source to exalt your friends best characteristics, people use it to harmlessly poke fun at their friends or make fun of Georgetown institutions. Occasionally there is a legitimate ‘insult’ on the page, but those are scarce. Just like Georgetown Compliments, people submit their entries by Facebook message and leave ultimate power to the person running this Facebook account.

Georgetown Love Declarations – When people began using Georgetown Compliments to profess their love (or lust) for various residents of The Hilltop, someone decided that there needed to be a separate page for such things. The main purpose of Georgetown Love Declarations is to use it as an anonymous way to let that special someone know you’re interested (whether you actually know their name or not). In my opinion, it wouldn’t do much good since it’s…well…anonymous. My advice? Just go up and say hi.

Georgetown Confessions – Georgetown Confessions has picked up a lot of steam recently and is one of the more popular pages right now, despite the fact that it was created in late December. Unlike some of the other pages, Georgetown Confessions allows you to submit entries in complete anonymity through a Google form. People confess their sauciest, funniest, and most taboo secrets and they’re published with assigned numbers.

Here’s a confession…I wrote this one. JUDGE ME.

Georgetown Secrets – Same as Georgetown Confessions minus the Google form, minus the large following, created two months later.

Georgetown Crushes – Georgetown Crushes has you submit the names of five people you have crushes on and if there are any matches then they’ll set you up. Again…my advice? JUST TALK TO THE PERSON.

Hoya Hook Ups – We’ve reached a point where the posts on Love Declarations, Confessions, Crushes, and even Compliments, were getting a little too raunchy and it became clear that Georgetown students had some…ahem…needs to be addressed. Hoya Hookups is a sort of makeshift dating site but for those who want to “get hooked up with other Georgetown students.”

And to quote their Facebook “about” page (I have no further comments):

Are you DTF? Don’t want to resort to Brown House to find some company for the night?

Whether you’re looking for a quickie, a cuddle buddy, or to finally lose your virginity, Georgetown Hook Ups will hook you up. All you have to do is follow the instructions below, wait for us to hook you up, and then meet up with your soulmate for the night, or the next 30 minutes – we’re not judging.

And don’t worry, it’s completely anonymous if you want to be.

**Inspired by the NYU Hook Ups page

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO POST A HOOK UP REQUEST, MESSAGE this page with answers to the following questions:
1. your gender
2. your school
3. your year
4. your sexual orientation
5. your race/ethnicity
6. dorm on campus or live off campus
7. description of yourself
8. who you are looking for
9. anything else someone should know

some suggested questions include: how many times per week would you have sex
turn ons, turn offs

OR IF YOU SEE SOMEONE THAT SUITS YOUR HOOK UP INTERESTS, post a reply to that anonymous post and if they find you interesting, they will personally message you outside of this Facebook page

If you prefer to find a cuddle buddy in a simpler way, just message us a photo of yourself and we will post it.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU SUBMIT YOUR HOOK UP REQUEST
One of the administrators will anonymously post your message to this page’s wall and you’ll be able to choose from anyone that replies to your anonymous post. You can get in contact with them by privately messaging them on Facebook – outside of this Facebook page.

Georgetown Remorses – This was just created. No, I don’t know what it is. Yes, I do think this person was just bored over Easter break.

Georgetown Quotes – This was also just created this morning. It doesn’t mimic any of the above pages, but you may have heard of a little thing called @OHGeorgetown that was established several years ago, and which also has 2,557 followers. See any similarities? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery after all.

Georgetown Gossip – This one was officially added five minutes ago. Those obsessed with Blake Lively and Leighton Meester will get a kick out of it. The rest of us are jaded and unamused.

I’m just getting prepared for ‘Georgetown GPA’, where people can anonymously post their grades or Georgetown Diet, where people can tell the entire student body what they had for lunch that day without the risk of exposing their identity. What’s next?

Monopoly Madness! Meow!

Attention, world (and by world, I mean cat lovers): Hasbro has officially announced that they will be retiring the classic iron game piece and replacing it with their new cat game piece. That’s right. Monopoly’s newest game piece is now a metallic furry feline. We couldn’t be any more excited.

Hasbro, the toy-making megacorporation behind Monopoly, informed the public last month that it would be retiring one of Monopoly’s tokens, but it decided to leave the monumental decision in the hands of the fans. According to Hasbro’s senior vice-president, Eric Nyman, “The tokens are one of the most iconic parts of the Monopoly game, and we know that people are emotionally tied to their favorite one. When we decided to replace one of the tokens in the game, we knew we had to involve our fans in the process.”

Hasbro then initiated a poll on Facebook (where else?!) and offered enthusiastic “monopolists” a chance to vote for their favorite and least favorite “old” game pieces, in addition to choosing between 5 “new” pieces to add into the mix. The votes were counted and the results are officially in!

The cat, which has no name, garnered 31 percent of the votes for new pieces and won the coveted spot among other Monopoly tokens. Other new-piece-contenders included a helicopter, a robot, a guitar and a ring.

Of the old tokens, Scottie the Dog received the majority of the popular vote, receiving 29 percent of fan votes, and the iron (may he rest in piece — get it?) received the least. As a result, the iron had to “Go directly to jail — Do not pass GO — Do not collect $200.”

We think the iron’s exit may have gone something like this, but we also think the new cat game piece is a purr-fect addition.

What are your thoughts on Monopoly’s purr-cocious new token? Is it a major paw-sitive? Or is it a cat-astrophe?

Photo: DCist

[cardoza_wp_poll id=3]

Casual Thursdays: Warming From The Inside

Screen Shot 2013-01-24 at 1.01.05 AM

We hate to break it to you, everyone, but the Inauguration has ended. The mania has subsided and the fever has ended — except for our Beyoncé fever, which will carry on “until the end of time.” (Ha, see what we did there? We love you, B.) Now, all that’s left to do is celebrate the simple, serene beauty of the winter season. This cold weather took all of us by surprise, and you, at any point, see fellow students sprinting from building to building as they complain about their frozen fingers and ears. Because the Hilltop has experienced its first snowfall (read: dusting), this Casual Thursday is here to help you sit back, relax and celebrate all things snowy. Warm up by your bed with the Hot Toddy, the perfect winter companion, and play the Social Media Snowy Drinking Game:

The Hot Toddy:

  • 1 ounce brandy, whiskey, or rum
  • 1 tablespoon honey
  • 1/4 lemon
  • 1 cup hot water
  • 1 tea bag
  1. Coat the bottom of a mug or an Irish coffee glass with honey.
  2. Add the liquor and the juice of the lemon quarter.
  3. On the side, heat water in a tea kettle and add the tea bag to make hot tea.
  4. Pour the steaming tea into the glass and stir.

The Social Media Snowy Drinking Game:

Celebrate people’s ridiculous reactions to winter precipitation with this snarky social media drinking game!

Go on Facebook or Twitter and slowly scroll down your News Feed/Twitter Feed.

Take a sip every time …

-A status/tweet references “cold”

-A status/tweet references “winter”

-Someone has posted a picture of himself/herself in the snow

 

Take a big gulp every time…:

-Someone makes a really excited over-hyper status/tweet about snow. (e.g. “I LOVE SNOOOWWWWW! )

-Someone makes a really miserable, cranky, aggressive status/tweet about hating snow/winter. (e.g. “I HATE WINTER. SNOW IS ICKY.”)

 

 Take a shot every time…:

-Someone makes a really miserable, cranky, aggressive status/tweet about being annoyed by other people’s statuses/tweets about snow.

 

Finish your drink every time…:

-Some Captain Obvious (in real life) energetically points outside and exclaims, “It’s Snowing!”

Photo Credit: About.com, Georgetown University

 

An Open Letter to Mark Zuckerberg

Dear Mark Zuckerberg,

When you were sitting in your dorm room at Harvard, writing out math calculations on a really cool glass whiteboard that I’m sure you didn’t actually own, (thank you David Fincher for allowing me to once again lose myself in the world of hyperreality) I don’t think you foresaw what exactly your little creation would do to the rest of us.

What I currently need to be doing is drowning myself in population means and Max Weber; instead, I’m rating the girls in my ex’s most recent tagged photos and gagging at the impressive number of chins I have in the pictures my friend added from this weekend. I should mention that I just do not have the time or energy to go through pictures 1-460. Whoops. That just happened.

What’s worse is that I am so uninterested by the prospect of finals that I’m procrastinating by writing an inbox to my mother. In fact, it’s a haiku about how I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. The least you could have done was use that extremely large and competent brain of yours to predict that this would be a problem for easily distracted college students like myself and create some sort of application that would remove your dumb site from our computer’s knowledge. I don’t always have the self-control to turn on Self Control.

I’ve sunk so low that my new hobby is poking people with whom I share a very distant and barely friendly relationship. This is fairly amusing and I can objectively (though, really, it is completely subjective) laugh at the awkwardness I know they feel.

In conclusion, I am mad at you.

Please, Mark, change your ways. (Or at least take my Probability & Statistics final for me? Thanks.)

Shannon

Fight for Your Right to Georgetown Day

Since Tuesday’s announcement that Georgetown Day activities would be limited to Copley Lawn and fenced in with metal barricades, there’s been a fairly strong negative reaction from the student body (to say the least).

We’ve seen a new member of the blogosphere, Georgetown Day 2012, an anonymous “second-semester senior with entirely too much time on [his or her] hands,” making a case for the traditional freedoms afforded to the last Friday of classes.

The changes to Georgetown Day have also sparked the triumphant return of the King of Georgetown and a grassroots movement (via Facebook) to relocate the fun to the Leavey Esplanade. Within a few hours of its creation, the event had over 1200 attendees and another 3500 invited – nearly the entire undergraduate student body.

After seeing how quickly the event went viral, its creators (anonymous, and going by the names “Saxa Silence” and “Cura P. Workinggroup”) announced an effort to remind the administrators “that we’re civil, but we believe strongly that Copley Lawn should be open to everyone on Georgetown Day.”

Earlier this year, when administrators announced that Georgetown Day would be scaled back (meaning no beer garden and no bouncy houses), many students were upset. This led to the formation of a student planning group, and the involvement of many student groups with sponsored activities and stations throughout the day (who wants to go to “hat making in Red Square,” with me? Anyone? I’m serious!).

With less than 24 hours left until the big day, we’re interested to see how the administration reacts to the student response. Will there be any changes to the proposed schedule and security? Will all those hired security guards, DPS officers and student volunteers relocate to the Esplanade?

Regardless, stay tuned to 4E – we’ll have some tips and tricks for making the best of whatever Georgetown Day we wind up having. It’s still a celebration, after all!

Photo: quickmeme.com
(Ed note: the Georgetown Hipster features The Hoya’s own Meagan Kelly, former Photo Editor and current author of Grandma Goes to Turkey. We’re very proud of her internet fame)

You Should Really Branch Out

Still trying to find a  job or internship? Maybe our last round of advice didn’t work out for you (or maybe you’re just putting it off), but we have another helpful tip. A Facebook app called BranchOut  is a useful networking tool directly that can help you discover the work you’re looking for.

After adding this free app, you create a professional profile (think LinkedIn). You can then search for jobs based on industry, experience, tenure and location. The site was easy to use and navigate — you can quickly find a number of job opportunities. The most interesting aspect of this site was the ability to view the jobs of your Facebook friends (but only those who have also installed BranchOut). If you’re interested in a job at a company that a friend had worked for,you can message them to learn more about his or her experience at that company and ways to potentially secure a job there. It’s an easy way to create professional connections with Facebook friends.

Asad Esmail (MSB ’15) has been a marketing associate at BranchOut since February, and believes that the success of the site is due to the ability separate your professional and social lives. “Whenever you connect to your profile, even though it is attached to Facebook, none of your personal stuff is brought into it. No one has to worry about whether or not employees will see any of your photos or wall posts.”

I would highly recommend this site to any college student who is still seeking a summer job. It can’t hurt!

Photo: BranchOut