5 Types of People Running for GUSA Senate

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It’s October, and you know what that means. It’s that time of year when the real issues begin to be discussed, when world-class leaders petition for our support. Campaign season is upon us, and the New South/VCW District is feeling the heat. 4E has exhaustively analyzed the various campaigns, and has broken down the candidate’s qualifications and positions on the issues in order to help you make your decision today.

  1. The Future President

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Platform: This person doesn’t care about Georgetown, the issues or you. This is merely another stepping stone in their path to the Oval Office that began in 5th grade. If elected, their first act of business will be to organize a committee to discuss how best to make “Freshman Dorm Representative” sound good on a resume.

Last seen: In a suit, giving weirdly firm handshakes to other freshmen.

Supporters: 

  • Their parents
  • Future Secretaries of State
  • Members of the 2024-2028 cabinet

Detractors: 

  • Future Vice Presidents
  • Anyone within 15 years of their age
  • Their parents, when they don’t win
  1. The One who Actually Cares

white anglo saxon

Platform: Social justice, all bathrooms become gender-neutral.

Last seen: Painstakingly drawing out handmade signs when everyone else just prints them out.

Strengths: 

  • Ability to appear in any room whenever the word “privilege” is used
  • Being raised in an upper-middle class white family
  • Multiple ethnic friends

Weaknesses: 

  • Hasn’t actually taken an African-American studies class
  1. The Cool Dude

zefron neighbours

Platform: Booze. Lots of it

Strengths:

  • Charisma
  • Actually very strong. Rumored to bench anywhere between 330 and 550 depending on how much you say you can bench
  • Good Jawline
  • Excellent Hair
  • Still has suit from that basketball dinner

Weaknesses: 

  • Refers to New South as “Zoo South”
  • Campaign posters are just dick drawings which, while funny, wont get him the same kind of broad support he enjoys on NS2 where, according to our sources, he’s “a legend”

Last seen:

  • Coming out of that girl you like’s room at 2 a.m.

Supporters:

  • Basically everyone, because who doesn’t like school-sponsored keggers.

Detractors:

  • The Living Well LLC
  • Lame RA’s
  • Other NARPs
  1. The Panderer

all ur dreams

Platform: Free food all the time everywhere. Not only off-campus meal plans, out-of-state meal plans. Everything is free. Electric bill? Free. Will fix everything freshmen complain about during NSO. Like that time you ran for middle school council but got beaten by the kid who promised kool-aid water fountains.

Last seen: Staggering under the pile of 15 pizzas he promised for his campaign event

Supporters:

  • Freshmen who haven’t yet had the hope beaten out of them

Detractors:

  • Anyone with actual experience dealing with any kind of administration

Campaign Slogan: With great power comes no accountability

ann perkins shrug

  1. The Serial Advertiser

don draper wink

Platform: Who knows. All we know is that he needs to stop.

Campaign strategy: Post at least 3 times a day on the GAAP Facebook group, each time prefacing his pitch with an apologetic “I know you guys are tired of these, but . . .”

Last seen: Furiously trying to think of rhymes for his first name

Supporters:

  • His multiple Facebook friends that promise he’s “a really chill dude with lots of great ideas”

Detractors:

  • Pretty much everyone, but ends up winning from third choice votes, purely through name recognition

So, whatever your choice, remember that participating in democracy is one of the most important things we can do for our country. Now go out there and make your voice heard!

#kanye2020

Photos/Gifs: Giphy.com; tumblr.com; sheknows.com

WBC Protest, As Told By Social Media

WBC

Unless you were abroad or in some Georgetown-day induced coma, you know that the Westboro Baptist Church visited our dear Hilltop yesterday. Their presence created quite a ruckus, leading to both a counter-protest and a solidarity event. Through both forms of expression, Georgetown students demonstrated their sentiments toward this event.

However, there was another way in which Georgetown students expressed their emotions: social media!

At first, many were confused what they were even doing there.

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Many were not feeling WBC’s presence, especially since it was the last day of classes.

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Tons of people showed up 3 hours early to capture the whole event…

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Todd Olson even showed up to show his support! (read: HAYYYY)

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And then the Instagrams began, capturing the occasion in a #artsy way.

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Some tried to bring comedy into the mix…

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The signs used by the WBC and their supporters were probably the most ridiculous part.

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But no matter the form the posts took, there was no doubt that Georgetown students were beyond proud of the support both the counter and the solidarity protests received.

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Photos: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat

What Does the Fox Say?

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You may have noticed around campus that there are a myriad of orange fox stickers that look something like this:

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This adorable little fox started popping up in odd places on campus towards the beginning of the semester. At first I only noticed it on a few cubicles in Lau. But now, as you go about your day you probably have seen this guy on the walls of the ICC, the brick pathways near Healy and even on a couple of trashcans. So what does this mean?

At first, there were various speculations. One student told me it was a secret society on campus- I really wish this was true, but alas, not the source of the fox stickers.

secret society

Another student told me it was for GAAP weekend, as a way to guide new students around campus. Instead of following footprints or arrows you simply follow the fox! While that would be highly entertaining to watch confused high school students and parents search for strangely placed foxes, this is also not the true source of the sticker.

What it is, is the logo for a new app called Secret. While it does have a clever name and an adorable fox as its mascot, people seem skeptical about the app itself. The purpose of Secret is that it allows you to post anonymous secrets for other people to read. Ironically the tag line for the app is “be yourself”, despite the fact that the entire purpose of the app is anonymity.

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Don’t worry kitten, we are too

So what exactly do people post on this Secret app? According to the app description, you can post things such as what is your biggest lie and what would you tell your 13 year old self?

The app promotes expressing yourself and making new friends. It kind of sounds like Facebook and Instagram without all the stalking, YikYak without the helpful tips or Formspring minus all the nasty questions and teen angst.

Unsurprisingly, there have been some concerns about vulgarity and bullying on the site. But who knows, maybe Secret is just about to catch on. Only time will tell. For now, the biggest secret seems to be, who has been putting up these secret fox stickers all over campus!?

Photos: play.google.com; survivingcollege.com; www.sodahead.com; apkware.com

The Five Stages of the GAAP Facebook Group

GAAPboard2014

Perhaps the only thing that connects and unites each and every class on campus are our respective GAAP Facebook groups. We eagerly joined them right after being accepted into Georgetown, hesitantly began to “meet” (stalk) our classmates before school began and now use them to communicate while on campus. After watching the progression of three different GAAP groups, I have come to the conclusion that every year, each GAAP group evolves in exactly the same way, and there’s no way around it.

Stage 1: Early Acceptance Butterflies

The group is created, and everyone that gets accepted Early Action begins to join. Generally, the posts aren’t too exciting at the beginning, as the newly accepted students start to feel the group out a bit. Posts usually fall under three categories: (1) “Congrats everyone, I can’t wait to meet my fellow Hoyas!”; (2) “Hey guys, where are my fellow (insert geographic region/state/country) at?”; (3) “Hey everyone, I’m super smart and got into (insert extensive list of other highly-ranked schools), help me decide!”

Stage 2: The Regular (Admission) Crowd Shuffles In

Any sort of calm in the group disappears on the day Regular Decision results are released. The group easily triples in size and more congratulations/geographic questions/pleas for college advice are soon to follow. This stage is fun, though, because the questions start to get a little more personal. This is the one time in your life that you can post “Does anyone love Full House as much as I do?” on Facebook and get dozens of replies.

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Stage 3: Summertime Madness

A lot happens in the GAAP Facebook groups over the summer. People get more comfortable and post some hard-hitting questions. The whole CHARMS process goes down, housing decisions are released and incoming freshmen struggle through pre-registration. Finally, and most importantly, Facebook Superstars (or Celebrities) begin to rise and there’s nothing more exciting than finally meeting that kid from Facebook that posted 300 times over the summer.

Stage 4: Too Cool, Except for School

Probably the most appealing of the five stages, this typically lasts for most of freshman year. Basically, everyone realizes that they would prefer to not be Facebook Famous, and only post the important stuff. Club sign-ups, cool on-campus events, and generally important school questions make it up on the page. Plus, cool upperclassmen (like me!) use them to spread and share pertinent information (like this article!).

Stage 5: Craigslist 

There comes a time when the GAAP group simply becomes a place to unload anything and everything that can be sold. Basketball tickets are certainly the hottest commodities, but that isn’t all. People sublet, rent out parking spaces, find roommates, unload old refrigerators and even sell livestock through the Facebook page. OK, so maybe I made the last one up, but it still is pretty ridiculous. Nowhere is the entrepreneurial spirit more alive at Georgetown than in upperclassmen GAAP Facebook Groups.

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Photos/Gifs: Tumblr.com; gaap.georgetown.edu

Survive the Wrath of SuxaNet

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The Internet has really, really, really sucked lately. Really really sucked. Get the picture?

Here at 4E we know the importance of good, strong WiFi so…

Here are some tips to help you survive:

Handwrite letters and coerce freshmen or frat pledges into delivering them by promising lifelong friendship.

Train a carrier pigeon. Step-by-step instructions can be found here. 

Actually use books for your research instead of online sources. We have a library, despite how soul-crushing it is.

Make decisions without first consulting a Buzzfeed quiz. Even though that is theoretically impossible.

Construct an elaborate zip-line system connecting your windows to your friends’ (Village C to McCarthy or Harbin, Copley to Village B, Darnall to Henle, Kennedy to Reynolds) so you can pop in and share news and cool things without using Facebook messenger.

Stop Facebook stalking your exes and crushes… this is probably a good habit to get into anyway.

Disclaimer: I realize the irony of publishing an article online with tips of how to survive the plague of the slow Internet. It is my sincere hope that SaxaNet (aka SuxaNet) shows mercy on 4E and allows you to load this page (and the pigeon instructions) before it goes under completely.

Godspeed my friends and let the WiFi always be with you.

Photo: https://technology.msb.edu/helptopics/macosx/

Questionable Facebook Trends

FB Trends

Despite my status as a social media aficionado, it took me until last week to notice that Facebook now offers us a list of trending topics on the homepage (in that sidebar under the birthday notifications).

This trend-list is much more informative than Twitter’s because it includes a sentence-long description of each trending topic. With trends ranging from breaking news to celebrity disputes, everything you need to know is in this little section of Facebook.

Some of these trends, however, are downright absurd. Here are our favorite and, for lack of a better word, kind of stupid trends from this week:

Lance Stephenson: Charlotte Hornets guard slaps self in face, flops to the ground to draw foul

Jabril and DSR — take notes.

Al Roker: NBC weatherman attempts to set Guinness World Record for longest continuous weather report.

“I wish the weather report was even longer,” said no one ever.

Shaun Hill: St. Louis Rams quarterback catches his own pass after ball deflects off of 2 players.

Hot potato, hot potato.

Charles Manson: Imprisoned mass murderer gets license to marry 26-year-old frequent visitor.

It seems like this mass murderer has found true love, but apparently he is still denied conjugal visits. This just raises so many questions.

Chandra Bahadur Dangi: World’s tallest man, Sultan Kosen, meets shortest man, Chandra Bahadur Dangi.

“Let’s take the tallest person and let him meet the shortest person, and we’ll take a funny picture.”

Dwayne Gratz: Police say Jacksonville Jaguars player drunkenly tried to pay grocery bill with gum.

Seriously, Dwayne?

Barry Callebaut: World’s largest confectionery producer warns of potential chocolate shortage by 2020.

The chocopocalypse.

As of July 2014, there are 1.35 billion active monthly Facebook users, so 1.35 billion people thought that these stories were the most fascinating in the past week and shared them with their friends. Congratulations, Facebook — this is a new level of dumb.

Photo: forbes.com

Humans of New York Showcases Georgetown Grad

10452949_686152651458838_7835508724648369623_oEarlier today, popular Facebook page Humans of New York posted a picture with a Georgetown shoutout. In it, the woman photographed states that receiving a scholarship to Georgetown was the happiest moment in her life. We’ve posted the photo and caption below, but you can take a look at the original post here.

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“My mom was hooked on crack. We were always alone and never had any food in the house, so I only ate at school. And we never had any electricity. So every night I had to do my homework in the hallway.”
“Do you remember the happiest moment of your life?”
“When I got my scholarship to Georgetown.”

Hoya Saxa!

Photo: Humans of New York

Georgetown Takes Top Spot for Social Media Influence

Social MediaHere on the Hilltop, we already pride ourselves on being smart, but now, we can celebrate a new accomplishment: being social media savvy. According to InTheCapital, Georgetown University garnered the best Klout score of all D.C.-area schools.

Klout is an analytics company started in 2008 that aims to measure users’ “influence” through social media presence. It tracks over 400 signals from 8 different social networks and then assigns users a score from 1 to 100. The higher the score given, the more influence a user has.

(President Obama currently boasts a Klout score of 99, while Justin Bieber and Zooey Deschanel received scores of 92 and 86, respectively.)

With active accounts on all of Klout’s measured platforms (including Instagram, Facebook and Twitter), Georgetown took the top spot for its social media presence with a score of 92. Close behind were Johns Hopkins and — sadly — George Washington University with scores of 91. University of Maryland and University of Virginia finished in the top five both with scores of 90.

To see the full list of rankings, click here. In the meantime, stay influential, Hoyas.

Photo: InTheCapital

Facebook Paper: Does It Fall Flat?

facebook_paperFacebook has just unveiled a brand new app called Paper, which, according to the company, will allow users to “explore and share stories from friends and the world in immersive designs and fullscreen, distraction-free layouts.” The app aims to give users a streamlined and engaging way to read their newsfeeds and view photos, like a unique, customizable newspaper.

Here at 4E, we like Facebook. And we like paper. We also like “immersive designs,” and we certainly love storytelling. So we downloaded Paper for ourselves to see if it lives up to the hype surrounding its release. Here’s what you need to know about our experience:

1. Paper is pretty We aren’t kidding. The app divides your newsfeed into easy, customizable categories. Photos are vivid and crisp (tilt your phone and watch what happens!), and just check out all that glorious white space!

2. Paper is also pretty pointless If you’re looking for a new Facebook experience, you’ve come to the wrong place. That being said, if you’re looking for a new place to read the news and stories you like, you’ve come to the right place.

3. If you have a tablet, Paper is great iPad users, you’re in luck. Paper’s simple, clean layout will be wonderful for your tablet device. It’s almost meant to be viewed on a Goldilocks-like screen: not too big, not too small, just right. For all you iPhone users out there, the app really seems lukewarm. Does Paper make for better viewing than the original Facebook phone app? We think yes. Is it dazzlingly better on such a small screen? No.

4. Who says my paper can only have nine sections? Another downside is that your customizable “Paper” can only have nine sections that you choose. These sections can range from Headlines, to Tech, to Pop Life, to Score, to Glow. (Side note: What in the world is Glow? Name one newspaper that has ever had a Glow Section. Is Glow like a Lifestyle section for aliens? If I choose Glow for my Paper, will I get a glow stick?) If you’re anything like us, you’ll want all the sections in your Paper, and having to choose is a bit of a letdown. Actually, never mind. We’ll just stick with Glow.

5. Try Paper for yourself And when you do, let us know what you think about it. Is Paper the next big thing? Is it revolutionizing media? Will the app bring Mark Zuckerberg some major “paper?” Or is it just a prettier newsfeed? Let us know in the comments below.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, Glow is a section about “Style, substance and beauty that’s more than skin deep.” I think it’s a section about Beyoncé.

Photo: readwrite.com

The Problem With Anonymity: An Interview With Georgetown Confessions

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In the few weeks between the inception of the Georgetown Confessions Facebook page as an outlet for whimsical admittances and its progression to a forum for heated debate about racial and socioeconomic issues or personal attacks, the person behind Confessions was overwhelmed with the volume and maliciousness of anonymous posts.

“I thought the Confessions would be primarily humorous and fun and never thought that intense discussions about race, socioeconomic class and other similar topics would emerge on the page,” Confessions wrote in an online chat.

Many of the discussions on Georgetown Confessions begin with a contentious confession followed by a debate in the comment section or another post that references and responds to the original poster.

“I feel like they have the potential to be meaningful, but they usually just become really petty and hateful,” Confessions wrote.

These comments are primarily submitted through an anonymous Google Form, but are occasionally sent through Facebook message, allowing the person who runs the page to know who submitted it, which Confessions acknowledged changes the dynamic of the anonymous page.

“I feel that non-anonymity gives the creator of the page a certain power over the people who send in confessions, compliments, insults, whatever – which I certainly don’t want,” Confessions wrote.

This difference is the reason Confessions encourages people to submit confessions anonymously. “I feel like it completely defeats the purpose of the page’s anonymity aspect,” Confessions wrote.

Georgetown Compliments, a more positive forum for anonymous Facebook posts, accepts submissions only through Facebook message, giving Compliments access to the identity of posters.

“Ultimately, I think [anonymity] encourages certain people to say things they feel they won’t be held accountable for, which I think is how we’re ending up with some really hateful messages being posted,” Compliments wrote about Confessions.

Georgetown Insults, which also exclusively accepts submissions through Facebook messages, shared the same sentiment.

“Complete anonymity, which Confessions claims to offer, makes people feel that whatever they say, no matter how offensive it is, will never be traced back to them. … I assume people find it sort of liberating when they release their pent up thoughts,” Insults wrote in a Facebook message.

Though the name Georgetown Insults implies the page would be a forum for slander, in practical terms, the page has been used quite differently.

“It’s been relatively easy for me because most of the posts are jests among friends or calling out establishments at Georgetown. … People realize that I am a person that they might know and/or be friends with, so they restrict themselves in what they send me,” Insults wrote.

The owner of Confessions has adapted to filtering posts for hateful or offensive content.

“In the beginning, I don’t think I was very good at filtering the confessions, but I gradually improved with experience,” Confessions wrote. “While I believe that the controversial Confessions do promote awareness about diversity-related issues within the Georgetown community, I feel that the negative and hateful comments may paint Georgetown in a negative light to the outside world.”

Recently, a debate arose on Confessions about slut-shaming and sexual harassment, to which Take Back the Night Co-Chair Kat Kelley (NHS ’14) responded. A subsequent post singled out Kelley in a malicious personal attack, displayed here. This instance of cyber-bullying caused outrage among Confessions readers, to which Confessions responded by issuing a formal apology on Facebook and contacting Kelley directly.

“Georgetown students do have the right to ask that posts be taken down,” Confessions acknowledged. The owner of Confessions took the post down due to the general public outrage and proceeded to delete many other confessions at student request. Confessions attributed this particular instance of publication of a hateful confession to inexperience of a new member of the Confessions team.

Given the tremendous increase in popularity and in the number of confessions submitted daily, I tried to find another person to help me run the page. I let the other person run the page for a few days, and because he/she was unfamiliar with how the page worked and the filtering aspect of the job, a lot of harmful Confessions were posted unintentionally. I didn’t realize what had happened until a few days later, and I thereby deleted the harmful posts and proceeded to issue an apology,” Confessions wrote.

Kelley was skeptical of this rationalization.

“I find it hard to believe that it was just a couple days of one person not filtering because it seems like there should have been a filter on a while ago,” Kelley said.

According to Confessions, similar pages at other colleges do not usually address such divisive issues.

“The page is similar to many other schools’ Confessions pages because many light-hearted confessions are posted each day, but it is different because of the intense discussions about race, socioeconomic status and other similar topics that take place on the page,” Confessions wrote.

It is uncertain whether other schools monitor confessions more closely or if the Georgetown student body is more prone to confession about socioeconomic, racial and sexual issues.

Northwestern Confessions employs a stricter monitoring method than Georgetown Confessions.

“We don’t post any posts with names on them or posts that directly attack a specific person or group of people. … Although this is a space where [Northwestern] students are free to confess, we don’t intend it to also be a vehicle for hate and hostility in the student body. Therefore, we believe a little monitoring is healthy for the page and the community that participates in it,” Northwestern Confessions wrote in a Facebook message.

Confessions noted, however, that the Facebook page shows something distinctive about the Hilltop.

“While the page might paint the Georgetown community in a negative light, especially because of the petty and hateful comments that have arisen in the past, I feel that the page also shows the diversity of opinions within the Georgetown community, in addition to the unity of the student body, especially in response to things like the controversial cyber-bullying posts,” said Confessions.

Confessions suggested that the increased volume of posters and expanded readership might minimize the impact of individual confessions.

“Given the large increase in the page’s popularity over the last several weeks, I’ve become somewhat desensitized to the impact that these Confessions might affect Georgetown students personally,” Confessions wrote.

Georgetown Confessions has prompted many students to reflect on the role of anonymity and public debate on campus, but only time will tell what else this page will show about the Georgetown community.

Photo: Lindsay Lee/The Hoya