For Immediate Release: We Were Robbed and We Understand Why

LEAVEY 421— It was with great shock we discovered the abduction of our beloved vacuum, Eureka, today, at the hands of The Georgetown Heckler.

The identity of the culpable group saddens us; this shift in relations between us and our previously earnest admirers is regrettable. Nevertheless, we should have assumed that a souring of our friendship would be inevitable. We have not published a piece on The Heckler in ages; this is obviously symptomatic of a cry for attention.

While we acknowledge the petulance behind this act, we refuse to coddle its perpetrators. Thus, we have taken action. We are holding Heckler staffer and former managing editor Connor Rohan (COL ’16) in a secure, undisclosed location until further notice. As you can see, he is still in good condition, though his mouth is not presumably operational (thank God).

IMG_2738*no Georgetown University Student Association vice presidents were actually harmed.


GOP Debate Drinking Game

150616_donald_trump_getty_1160_956x519Being back on the Hilltop means a lot of different things. For many of our newer Hoyas it means new friends, new clubs and new social interaction. But being here in D.C. makes one thing unavoidable: Politics. You might hate it, you might love it, but you certainly can’t avoid it. So why not embrace it!?

Many of you may know that the second GOP debate is tonight at 8 p.m. In the spirit of embracing politics and all that is best and worst about living in D.C., we have a debate drinking game to get you through tonight:

Take 1 drink if:

  • Donald Trump mentions building walls
  • Ben Carson talks about a cool surgery he has done
  • Anyone mentions Planned Parenthood
  • Chris Christie mentions the great state of New Jersey


He’s joking right…..

  • Anyone personally attacks Trump (cough cough Jeb! Cough)
  • Anyone mentions being a “real” conservative
  • Anyone insults Hillary
  • Marco Rubio mentions Cuba
  • The candidates point aggressively at one another
  • Carly Fiorina mentions being the only female candidate


Good for you Glen Coco

Finish your entire drink if:

  • Deez Nuts makes a guest appearance in the debate. Deez Nuts 2016!

deez nuts

So there you have it folks — a way to make your debate experience more enjoyable all around. Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, I think we can all agree, everything goes down a little easier with a drink!

*Alcohol consumption is only legal for adults 21+ years of age.

*Please drink responsibly.

*If you have a tendency to throw things at your TV or others when angry, please drink EXTRA responsibly.