Six Types of Relatives You’ll Meet at Thanksgiving: Hoya Edition

As the holiday season draws near, Hoyas are gladly anticipating a break from their usual Leo’s meals—but at what cost? Here’s 4E’s rundown of the six types of relatives that we all just ~can’t wait~ to reunite with over this Thanksgiving dinner…

1. The Interrogative Relationship Guru

“Do you have a boyfriend? That’s too bad! What about the cute boy in your Instagram post?”

First of all, Grandma, he’s gay. Undeterred, she offers up her very best date ideas from “back in the day” as you stifle your laughter at the thought of any MSBro at a drive-in theater. You wonder if the sort of “fine young men” she continually references even exist on the Hilltop.

2. The Millennial Wannabe

Lucky for you, this aunt’s midlife crisis seems to have perfectly aligned with your annual encounter. Having seen your Snapchat story from last Friday, she proposes a “girls’ night out” at Chi Di next weekend. You promptly delete your social media and apply to study abroad.

3. The Deadbeat

Maybe your college life isn’t as wholesome as your grandparents may think, but unlike this cousin, at least you’ll definitely most likely end up with a diploma. You decide that introducing him to your SFS friends might set his life back on track but quickly think better of it. Having him around will make you feel better about yourself when next semester’s club rejection season rolls around.

4. The Diehard Trump Supporter

Tattooed with the U.S. flag and shamelessly sporting a MAGA hat, this uncle finds a way to blame everything on the immigrants—even this year’s burnt turkey. You politely bear the brunt of his incessant rant until he spots the GU College Dems and H*yas For Choice stickers on your laptop, after which he avoids all interaction with you for the rest of the night. Success.

5. The Shy Guy

Exchanging forced pleasantries with this relative is even more uncomfortable than leading a tour group on Georgetown Day. As awkward as the conversation is, though, it’s just like the ICC: you can’t find a way out.

6. The Annual Alcoholic

This relative looks as tipsy as the Wisey’s rat before the turkey’s even carved. She must have mistaken Thanksgiving dinner for a late-night Epi gathering, but at least by tomorrow she’ll forget the night ever happened, and you can equally pretend that it never did.

We at 4E bestow our deepest sympathy and respect upon any Hoya that successful endures a conversation with three or more of these ~special~ relatives. On a serious note, we hope you all enjoy your well-deserved break from school and express thanks for all the family members who’ve supported you from afar (even those who fall under one of these categories)!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com

4Eats: Falafel Inc. Debrief

Quick Pita died and has risen again in a new and improved form. While no Georgetown establishment will ever truly take its place, Quick Pita’s successor, Falafel Inc., sure does justice to our need for a delicious and frugal late-night spot. 4E went full Guy Fieri mode to give you a rundown of what you need to know about this new spot.

Here’s a quick guide to everything you care about:

  1. Prices: 10/10. You’d be hard-pressed to find a cheaper, more filling meal. There are plenty of bougie options in Georgetown, but this isn’t one of them. The price for the value is the best around. Both the main selections (falafel bowls and sandwiches for $4 each) and the sides ($3 each) are well-priced.
  2. Food (Variety): 8/10. While there aren’t many options on the menu, you can easily customize your order with the plethora of add-ins that are traditionally included for free (such as cabbage slaw, tomatoes, etc.). They also have some Middle Eastern specialties you’d have difficulty finding easily elsewhere, such as Barbican, a non-alcoholic fruit and malt soda.
  3. Food (Taste): 9.5/10. Definitely blows any other falafel I’ve ever had in D.C. out of the water. While a falafel sandwich is a pretty basic concept, Falafel Inc.’s execution is pretty close to flawless, and they put a unique blend of toppings that make the mundane falafel sandwich tasty and exciting.
  4. Food (Sauces): 9.5/10. There is just something spectacular about being able to smother a falafel in their garlicky habibi sauce. I don’t know what’s in it, and they probably wouldn’t tell me if I asked, but make sure to try this out (and all of the others, which are equally tasty) when you go.
  5. Ambience: 8/10. The inside of this place harkens to a refugee camp, and for good reason. The dimly lit, plywood walls truly create a unique atmosphere directly emulating the falafel shops in refugee camps. The only thing that would make it better would be more seating, but the lack thereof gives it a more authentic feel.
  6. Staff: 9/10. Very friendly people who work hard to get the food out quickly and correctly. It’s just hard not to think back to Quick Pita’s staff and wonder what ever happened to Sammy.
  7. Hours: 5.5/10. This is probably the only let-down, though the hours aren’t truly bad by any means. We’ve all been itn dire need of a piping hot pita around the wee hours of the night, and unfortunately Falafel Inc. closes at 11pm, making it a great lunch and dinner spot, but not so much a late-night post-game spot.
  8. Bonus: +0.5 for being FTR (For the Refugees). For every $10 spent, the shop feeds a refugee for a day by donating part of its revenue to the World Food Programme, so you can feel even better about having tahini drip down your face as you stuff yourself with falafel.

Final Rating: 9/10

While we all dearly miss Quick Pita, Falafel Inc. is more than worth a try (or several).

Photos/Gifs: washingtoncitypaper.com, giphy.com

Dinner with 7 “Strangers”: A Recipe for Disaster?

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A new and mysterious program, Dinner with 7 Strangers, has taken the Hoya world by storm, and 4E has several questions:

Who’s in charge?

What if I get stuck with a bunch of duds?

Is this some type of elaborate scam to expose people who are desperate for friends?

Although the premise of the program is to meet new people and have dinner with strangers, there’s always the possibility that your dinner might include awkward acquaintances and people you semi-know, or people you never want to see again.

Here are 7 people you might meet at your dinner with 7 “strangers”:

1. You know who they are, but you don’t know if it’s because you stalked them on Facebook one night at 2:00 am. Do they know who you are? Should you address them by name? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!?!?!
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2. That boy you hooked up with at Brown House, only to realize you had Econ and Problem of God together. Also, you’ve butt-dialed him several times despite the fact that you haven’t talked to him since the DFMO. Now you’re sitting across the dinner table from him.
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3. Your professor whose class you slept through every single day. Also, your final paper was accidentally written in Comic Sans.

4. Your nightmare roommate from freshman year who you ditched second semester and never talked to again. They ate weird food in your bed and barfed on your pillow, and watching them eat their meal is giving you horrible flashbacks.
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5. The GERMS worker who rescued you after you fell down Harbin stairs and/or slipped in your own vomit.
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6. Your future husband/wife. According to super scientific studies that Blue and Gray tour guides like to relay in order to get overly eager parents excited about grandkids, 70% of Hoyas marry other Hoyas. Wouldn’t it be a great story to tell if you meet your future spouse on what boils down to a blind date with 6 other random people?

7. Hey, you never know, maybe you will get to eat with Bradley Cooper! Can Georgetown Alumni sign up? Please say yes! One date dinner with him and, who knows, maybe you will be on the cover of People.

In reality, Dinner with 7 Strangers sounds really cool and you should sign up. You might get the opportunity to meet some really incredible people *cough* me *cough*. Or you might have the most uncomfortable two hours of your life. Either way, you are sure to have some wonderful stories to tell. Also, free food.

Photos/Gifs: replygif.net, reactiongifs.com, imgur (@gidget), facebook.com

Hump Day Chomp: Pho DC

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If you’re one of the lucky few that are planning a Valentine’s Day Date, look no further than Pho DC in Chinatown.

We stumbled upon this Vietnamese gem last weekend while looking for Rita’s Italian Ice (which, by the way, is CLOSED for the winter – what the what?!?).

After having our ice dreams dashed, we walked up the block looking for something to eat/somewhere to cry when my date stopped short and asked if I had ever had Pho – which is pronounced “f-uh,” not “faux.”

I hadn’t, so we climbed the four steps up to the well-lit and sophisticated restaurant and the rest is history.

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I ordered Spicy Satay Pho Tai, which is basically a lot of broth mixed with chili paste, thinly sliced beef, cooked onions and thin rice noodles. You get to use chopsticks to scoop the noodles and stuff into this awesome mini-ladle. It was tough, but it got easier as the night progressed. My date had Spicy Pho Shrimp, which actually had a good amount of shrimp. The only annoying thing was that the tails had not yet been removed. Both dishes came with little bowls of basil, bean sprouts and lime that could be added to the soup.

The real winners were the sauces: one spicy orange sauce that tasted like sriracha on steroids, and one sweet brown sauce that was like a thicker, sweeter soy sauce. These were magical when added (in small dollops) to the spoonfuls of noodles.

We also tried Vietnamese Coffee, which is really rich coffee that has condensed milk at the bottom. You can stir the milk until the coffee reaches its optimum level of sweetness and pour it over ice if you wish (we wished, and it was delicious).

This place had it all – great music, wonderful food, fun atmosphere. It was also really easy to get to – just a couple of blocks from the Gallery Place/Chinatown metro stop. Pho DC is pho-sho one of the best places you can have Valentine’s Day dinner (or anti-Valentine’s day dinner) this weekend!

Photo: https://www.phodc.com/index.php

Brunch 2.0: The Revolution is Here

1905We talk and dream about brunch all the time on 4E, but today there is a new twist to the classic tale. Brinner, eating brunch at dinner (copyright: me), is now the hottest new option in Washington (once again, according to me).

According to DCist, the restaurant 1905 (down on 9th Street) is offering all the foods we love to eat at brunch … at dinner.

What? How? When? Is that even possible?

Why yes, yes it is! At 5:30 p.m. on Tuesdays, the trendy restaurant will break out its eggs and bacon for all to enjoy.

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While they will still continue to offer their classic dinner menu, you can now also take advantage of chicken and waffles. Yum.

1905 will also offer bottomless mimosas and Bloody Marys for those readers who are 21 and over. So, basically, they are offering people the chance to pretend it is the weekend and have a really, really, really good time.

Check out the menu and go wild.  And remember: Brunch all day, every day. All the time.

Photo: elitedcmag.com; Gif: tumblr.com