The Five People You’ll Meet During Hurricane Sandy

Sandy, you’re the one that we want. Well… at least until the wind, rain and chill sets in… We’re all mutually soaking in the joy at not having classes, but Hurricane Sandy changes people. So here is a little guide for the five people you will meet during Hurricane Sandy.

1. The Paranoid One If you were to walk into this person’s dorm room you’d probably find 2-3 flashlights, complete with enough extra batteries to power all the clocks in the ICC. If you open their fridge you’d find gallons of water (despite the fact that tons of free water is falling from the sky…) They’ve probably built some sort of bomb shelter stocked with Twinkies in case Sandy somehow turns nuclear.

2. The Non-Believer Despite the sheets of rain, aggressive wind and city-wide shut downs, this person refuses to acknowledge that there is a hurricane going on. They continue to go on with their normal schedules and tweet holier-than-thou remarks about how Hurricane Sandy is ‘totally not a big deal’ and how they’re going to go for a jog or run errands on M street casually. Yes, good luck with that.

3. The Partier HURRICANE SANDY RAGERRRRR. Nobody’s mad. Apparently, to this person, when classes are cancelled it means that all obligations and responsibilities are also cancelled. That test that they were supposed to have today? Hah, no longer a concern. HOMEWORK, I VANQUISH THEE.

4. The Scrooge-Professor Some of you may be unlucky enough to encounter one of these. While you’re in the midst of celebrating not having to turn in your work or do the readings, this professor is looking for a way to rain on your hurricane. You will most likely receive an email from them, asking you to e-mail your homework in or complete an extra assignment about that day’s reading. Cue huge groan.

5. You You’re trying to be pumped about the time off but can’t shake the feeling that you really should be writing that history paper you have due Friday. You’re just enjoying the excuse to wear sweatpants everywhere without being judged and trying to recuperate from Halloweekend part I. But hey, this storm wont last forever so if I were you, I’d stop reading this blog post because your teachers are going to go full throttle when classes start again to make up for all this time off. Time to break out the books…or the pumpkin lattes and Netflix, either works.

The Return of drunkengeorgetownstudents.com

There’s evidence of the longstanding battle between Georgetown students and our disgruntled neighbors all over the place – lawn signs and pins reading “Our Homes Not GU’s Dorms”, angry listserv posts about sunbathing students, you name it. Now one of our more outspoken Burleith neighbors has resurrected his blog, “Drunken” Georgetown Students (quotation marks are his, not ours).

Featuring shaky videos of student parties with commentary like “No Snap… no Rocky? What gives?” and “Pigs in a Poke”, drunkengeorgetownstudents.com is run by Stephen R. Brown, a Burleith resident and former American University professor.

Seniors may remember the site from our freshman year, when Brown started taking pictures of parties on his block, and encouraging his fellow Burleith and West Georgetown residents to do the same. He once suggested a photo contest where one of the categories could be “urination” (sounds fun!).

The server hosting the original Drunken Georgetown Students took the site offline because Brown was posting photos of students without their permission, a violation of their Terms of Service. He started things up again on the current version of the site.

Brown wrapped up posting in May 2010, with a goodbye note to the graduating class. But now he’s back, and better than ever. He started things back up this spring with some snarky commentary about the effectiveness of SNAPS, and over the summer and fall has been posting videos of the parties on his block.

After the jump, check out one of his videos, and a few excerpts from the site.

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Courses that Cause Copulation: Which Majors Have the Most Sex?

Do you like numbers and money? Are you currently scouting internships with Goldman Sachs and McKinsey? Did you spend the last week stressing out about demand curves, trade policies or externalities? If so, apparently you’re also quite sexually active! Congrats! And where do you find the time?

According to studentbeans.com’s University Sex League, econ majors have more sex partners in college than any other major. A study released last week shows that finance nerds get wacky in the sacky the most with an average of 4.88 sexual partners since starting university.

Following close behind with an average of 4.7 sexual partners are social work, community care, and counseling majors. (How does that work? Give people advice and then unbutton their pants?) With an average of 4.57 sexual partners are marketing majors. This makes more sense: what better way to learn marketing than promoting your body?

And hospitality majors with 4.56 sexual partners seem to be lagging a bit in fourth place. They have hotel rooms at their disposal — frankly, they should be doing more.

With a disappointing 1.71 sexual partners are environmental science majors in last place — below even math majors and prospective engineers. I’m hoping that reducing the size of our carbon footprint is inhibiting their dopamine receptors (not sure what other excuse they have for being prude).

What I think we can take from these results is that even the highest major averages a relatively small number of sexual partners. What’s up with college student these days? Are these not supposed to be the years of experimentation and poor judgment? Soon we will all be tied down and must conform to the norm of monogamy. But now is the time to let loose. Eh, maybe once midterms are over.

Friday Fixat10ns: Game Plan

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Everybody needs a game plan when going out. The only way to get the boy or girl you’ve been eyeing is to plan out your moves; obviously the best way is to be jamming out to your soundtrack as you do it. This playlist will serve as your map through the night, from beginning to end.

You probably won’t be listening to your iPod, and maybe you’re not going through the 4E on a night out, but don’t be caught off-guard. These tunes tell you how and when to pull our your A-Game.

Ignition (Remix) – R. Kelly – It all starts on the dance floor. This song lets you put on your best moves, but doesn’t sacrifice lyrical quality. This song says it all: “So baby gimme that toot toot/ Lemme give you that beep beep”  – well spoken Mr. Kelly.

In Those Jeans – Ginuwine – Let the object of your affection know that they’re looking good tonight. This is when you can move in a little closer as you dance. It’s a big step to take, but if you’re gonna do it, you gotta do it to the smooth voice of Ginuwine.

Between the Sheets – Isley Brothers – This song was a hard choice because it may be a bit too forward, but then I thought, you still want to have time to salvage the night if the person you’re aiming for isn’t on the same page as you. You can dance to this song, but if it doesn’t work it, it’s still okay. The night can be salvaged – just refer back to the first song.

Anxious – Sweater Beats – So you got this far and there are no words necessary now. You just have to head back home with company. So it makes sense that you’d be a little anxious.

Sexual Healing – Marvin Gaye – Oh no, cold feet? Let Marvin bring his Motown feel to soothe any inhibitions that either of you might have.

Down Low (Nobody Has To Know) – R. Kelly –Does this one really need an explanation? If you’re listening to this song, you know why it’s on the playlist.

Love Making Music – Barry White – You didn’t think I was gonna forget the man blessed with a voice from the gods did you? This might be the definitive song of the playlist. It might not be. But it’s a hell of a jam.

Neighbors Know My Name – Trey Songz – This might be a more modern anthem of the night. Wake up your neighbors, get documented by the R.A., do whatever you want – just do you.

Be With You – Beyonce – This song is optional, I think. If you thinking you want to do this again, make it special. Tailor the night for the person you’re with!

Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye – At this point, you don’t need any more music other than the music you two are making by yourselves. Just to  cap off the night, we turn to Marvin Gaye once again. This could be a nice chill out song, or maybe the song that fades the scene out as you get NSFW.

Clock Thieves Use the Barter System (or should we say barker system?)

If you’re in the market for some clock hands (here’s looking at you, Healy Clock Tower), they’re now available for barter over on College Craig. In a listing that went up earlier this afternoon, we found another clue in the Mystery of the Missing Clock Hands. The culprits, going by the aliases of Reaper, Goliath and Juliet posted this poem:

Our friend runs but cannot walk, at times sings but never talks, 
He looks down on us all from a tower so tall.
And as graduation comes closer you’ll all want to recall
that time when you did the most daring act of all.

We’ll give you a “hand” if you’re willing to trade
for a campus celebrity who has recently made
quite the build up for just a little pup.

We have your key to make Hoya history
And since we’re not much for publicity 
we’ll give it back in double, but don’t want any more trouble.

The semester is getting late so stand down
bring us the dog and wait wait wait”

Hoya Saxa!
Reaper, Goliath, and Juliet

So Georgetown, looks like we’re faced with a pressing question – is the trade of Jack Junior for the Healy clock hands a fair one?

Photos: Flickr and Georgetown University

Who Stole the Hands from Healy Clock Tower?

For the first time in years (since 2005 to be exact), the hands have been stolen from Healy Tower. For those not familiar with the tradition, Wikipedia has a helpful summary:

Historically, students would steal the hands and mail them to the Vatican, where they are supposed to be simply stamped ‘return to sender’ and returned to the university. One such incident caused significant damage to the clock mechanism, however, and security has been increased as a result in recent years, decreasing the incidence of the theft. These measures have not prevented students from successfully obtaining the hands however, as they are captured every five to six years.

But the big question remains – who’s responsible for today’s shenanigans? While DPS investigates the situation, we’ve rounded up the usual suspects to see who might have the best motivation to scale the tower.

WGTB They were  the first to report that the clock hands had been stolen, beating both The Hoya the the Voice to the punch. In an effort to earn the recognition they deserve as a campus media outlet, perhaps some rogue WGTB members nabbed the hands and went straight to Twitter.

The Voice Or maybe it was another campus media group – our friendly rivals over at Vox Populi are acting like they don’t know the thieves’ identities, but that could all be a ruse.  Hey Vox, we’ve got our investigative journalism pants on too (they’re a little snug).

DPS Breaking up dorm parties and enforcing GOCard checks in Lau doesn’t make for the most exciting life. They hold the keys to all the buildings on campus, and nobody would question them heading into Healy at odd hours of the night. Who’s to say that DPS didn’t do this themselves to liven up finals season?

The Corp Not ones to shy away from big marketing ploys (I heard something about free slushies? for life??), the Corp could be behind this. We’re just waiting to see what goes up in place of the regular hands – Corp storage boxes? T-Shirts? Slushie machine?

The Tombs Not content to decorate their walls with rowing paraphernalia alone, a few brave Tombs waiters pulled themselves up by their bow ties to grab the hands off of Healy Tower.

Class of 2012 Our most likely culprits. If it’s true, they’re going out in a blaze of glory before graduation that we can only aspire to match. Come forward, brave souls! We would love to shake your hands (and add your names to the Wikipedia page for Healy Hall).

Photo: Michelle Cassidy/The Hoya

How to Enjoy Georgetown Day, Regardless

The traditional celebration of the last Friday of classes will undoubtedly be a little different this year. But don’t let a few metal barricades security checkpoints get you down – after all, we still have a dunk tank! Here are a few ways to make sure your Georgetown Day is a great one, bag checks be damned.

Explore Sure, in past years the day has been centered around Healy and Copley lawns. Just because there are fences on Copley doesn’t mean there’s no fun, Copley will host tons of activities and performances, so don’t avoid it. And yeah, there’s only water to drink, but staying hydrated is important when you’re day drinking. But you don’t have to be on the lawn all day; the Esplanade is now an alternative, and there are plenty of other spots around campus to hang out.

Pace yourself It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Most people start early, and if you don’t want your night to end before the sun goes down, you should reconsider that 8 a.m. power hour.

Bring a snack Yo, snacks are great. Before you venture outside, stick a couple granola bars or an apple in your fanny pack (also, acquire a fanny pack). You’re going to high five yourself for your foresight in a few hours when everyone else is waiting in a super long line for hamburgers.

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Where will you be this Saturday?

This weekend is sort of like a choose-your-own-adventure book (remember those?). It starts with a fabulous introduction, in the form of all-out Georgetown Day celebration and the second part is up to you. Will  it  be delightfully preptastic Foxfields or chill times at Sweeetlife?

FOXFIELDS

At this point in the week, you’ve probably already made your decision and that’s the first con against Foxfields.  You can’t just spontaneously decide the morning off that you’d like to engage in a day of garden party style debauchery. Everyone wants to party with a hat on but getting to this Charlottesville shindig requires weeks of preparation.

And let’s be honest, the bus ride is the most important part of the trip so if you’re not with a good group of your friends, it’ll be much less of a fun time.

But the whole premise of Foxfields is still genius. It’s a champagne brunch on wheels to a racetrack full of people all in the same mindset.  I think it’s pretty hard to go wrong with that recipe.

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