Diary of a SWUG: The 10 Commandments of Tombs

Banner - Tombs CommandmentsEleven days ago marked the 99th day before graduation (cue tears). Now, we are down to 88. How scary is that? 88 more days until I am officially irrelevant (Read: irrelevant here, I will always be relevant). To keep you in the loop (and keep myself in check) I will be doing a series of posts focusing on these last 99 days. Join me on an adventure of Tombs, thesis writing and goodbyes. Is it too late now to say sorry?

For those of you who don’t know, for the last 99 days of school, Tombs hosts an event called “99 Days.” Basically, for 99 straight days, (some) Georgetown seniors will visit and buy something at Tombs. Those who succeed get all the glory and an empty bank account.

For my first installment, I will be presenting the ~10 Commandments of Tombs~. While these are not written down anywhere, they are certainly true and worth committing to memory:

^Basically, I am channeling this. Take notes, my friends.

Commandment #1: Thou shall not yell at the bartender (especially if its Jon). The bartender (barkeeps? therapists?) are your friends, so treat them with kindness and maybe you will get some special treatment. Also, they are people. Calm your chill, get off your high horse and join the rest of us. It is a bar, it is going to be crowded.

Commandement #2: Thou shall request songs. Not all the DJs know what your #currentjam is, so you probably should let them know. And, don’t take no for an answer. If you want to hear “My Shot” from Hamilton the Musical, you should be able to hear it (Note: everyone should also hear it).

Commandment #3: Thou shall not steal coats. Come on people, this isn’t Brown House. Aren’t we adults (or at least quasi-adults) now? It is cold out and there is no way that I am ubering back to my house after droppin’ so much money at Tombs.

Commandment #4: Thou shall not arrive too early on a weekend. Okay, this is more of a personal rule. The earlier you get there, the longer you are going to have to wait until you can dance. Personally, I love to dance and I believe having to wait is a crime. As much as I love all my friends, there comes a point when sitting in a booth can get a little tiring.

Commandment #5: Thou shall take advantage of all the drink deals. Being 21+ is expensive, as we have all realized. Tombs has so many drink deals, so why not save money where you can? Plus, if you are doing 99 days, you can still check in if you split pitchers and wine, FYI.

Commandment #6: Thou shall make friends with all of the adults who visit Tombs to relive their glory days. Whether your parents are in town or a wedding just let out, these adults want nothing more than for you to have a good time. Never turn down the opportunity to get some free drinks, or fries. Both are important.

Commandment #7: Thou shall not judge people on the dance floor. I’ve been advocating for a no-judgement zone on the Tombs dance floor for a while now. Whatever happens, happens. We only have a few more months to make fools of ourselves at this place. Does anyone care that much?

Commandment #8: Thou shall actually go to Tombs during the day. It can be easy to forget that Tombs is a restaurant with pretty awesome food. Instead of picking up ‘za at Pizzeria Paradiso, grab a Hoya Salad at Tombs. Or, just go for brunch. Because what is better than brunch?

Commandment #9: Thou shall be aware of what time it is. The worst thing about a night at Tombs is when you forget what time it is and end up the only one of your friends on the dance floor. Things can get hazy down at Tombs, so make sure you actually know when your friends are leaving so you aren’t stuck walking home at closing time.

Commandment #10: Thou shall have fun, no matter what. So you got into a fight with your friend. So some girl spilled her drink on you. It is my personal belief that these are some of the moments we are going to miss the most. Don’t let the little things keep you from enjoying the memories.

Stay tuned for my #knowledge in the coming weeks. That is, once I figure out my life a little more.

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com, youtube.com, collegeranker.com

The Ten Commandments of Senior Year


The Ten Commandments of Senior Year:

1. You shall have no other bars before Tombs. 

Yes, you should actually take advantage of other bars in D.C. and hang with some of the yopros to see a glimpse into your future (it’s the same thing as college but with nicer drinks). However, Tombs should always be number one in your heart. On a serious note, where else can you get cheesy tots with your dirty girl scout shot?

2. You shall not make out with freshmen. 

When you were a freshman, you might’ve thought that DFMOing with a senior would’ve been the highlight of your friend group for the next few months. Now that you’re a senior, you recognize that it’ll be the laughing joke of your friend group until graduation. I’m not deterring you from reliving Club Lau or Brown House (in fact, you will definitely see me at both), but maybe avoid any conversations starting with “Do you live in (insert freshmen dorm here)” or “Are you in my Macroecon lecture?”

3. You shall not take the name of John/Jack in vain. 

This is a blanket statement of all of the Johns and Jacks out there – John Carroll, President DeGioia and Jack the Bulldog. If you accidentally step on the seal before graduation, don’t curse John Carroll. If Bradley Cooper skips our graduating class to speak in Gaston, don’t blame President DeGioia (hint, hint @Bradley and @DeGioia). If we don’t juice ‘Cuse yet again, don’t yell at the mascot.

4. Remember 99 Days, to keep it a tradition. In it you shall check in at Tombs every day. 

99 Days Club is equal parts money-draining, commitment and tradition. Try to focus on the last two. I’ve heard employers appreciate commitment and tradition, so what better way to demonstrate it to them! Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy you a well-deserved spot on the 99 Days Club plaque.

5. Honor your liver and your stomach. 

Do you remember the last time you did Edward Fortyhands? The answer is likely no. You should aim to make memories this year and wake up the next morning to remember them all (the only memory that is acceptable to forget is that slice from Eat & Joy on your walk home). Likewise, take advantage of your last year having a completely free gym membership. After graduation, you have to pay for the luxury of the elliptical machine and endlessly great people watching. No matter what the #dadbod trend says, you don’t want to graduate with a beer belly underneath your gown.

6. You shall not murder your GPA. 

For the past three years, you’ve worked hard to maintain or bring up your grades where you don’t actually have to lie about it to your (nagging and loving) parents. Congratulations on your job offers and signed contracts , but sadly, yes, you still have to do the required reading and participate in your group projects (@MSB). Nothing feels as bad as the harsh reality of losing honors after three years on the Dean’s List.

7. You shall not commit to adulthood. 

The real world awaits you, but it’s also not going anywhere. Senior year is the final year when it is socially acceptable to wear leggings as pants, carry around a backpack everywhere without looking like a wannabe hipster, and plan parties and pre-games with multiple themes and subthemes. No one likes the Debbie Downer who reminds everyone how “things are going to be different” or how you can brunch without bottomless mimosas.

8. You shall not steal from Leo’s. 

I’ll admit that I might’ve taken one too many bananas and a cup (or five) from Leo’s in the past. However, now that I no longer even have a meal plan, I’ll already feel #blessed when I find a friend to swipe me in for CFT. I will take full advantage of post-meal fro-yo with extra toppings. However, I will return all of my silverware because full-fledged adulthood is on the horizon and it’s about time and I bought myself decent (aka Ikea) dinnerware.

9. You shall not bear false identification. 

Although not everyone has yet turned twenty-fun, I mean twenty-one (autocorrect), it’s time to retire the “Jack Hoya” and “Jane Hoya” IDs. For those who have already turned twenty-one, you should’ve already put those days behind you. For the remaining underage seniors, your time will come. The perks of turning twenty-one late: the best Tombs night ever. No one has to take your picture and then turn around home. Bouncer is to letting people in as Oprah is to giving away free cars. EVERYBODY WINS.

10. You shall not covet the freshmen’s new experiences on the Hilltop. 

You had a great four (or maybe five) year run at Georgetown. If you’re sticking around at Georgetown Med or Georgetown Law, then please don’t become the “creepy alum” who talks to the freshmen moving in reminiscing when they met their CHARMS roommate or still shows up to club meetings. For those who move away from Georgetown, the District, or even America, you’ve already physically left and now it’s also time to metaphorically move on. Don’t worry though, Homecoming is always just around the corner.

Photos/Gifs: https://myctrring.com/