What Your Favorite American Beverage Says About You

Fourth of JulyWith the Fourth of July just around the corner, it’s time to feel a little red, white and buzzed. At 4E, we pride ourselves on fulfilling the American dream and therefore, have done our own research on the best American beverages out there. The Fourth Edition is feeling a little star, spangled bannered hammered and luckily, we know exactly what you should be drinking this Independence Day (if you’re 21+, of course). Here are just a few of your favorite American libations and what they say about you.

Tito’s Vodka: You like to live life in the fast lane. You’re willing to spend a little extra guap to enjoy the finer things in life, because why the hell not? Your friend Tito is always at your side whether it’s with a splash of tonic and lime (ohhh you fancy) or just straight up. You’re that cool guy/gal at the party who people respect.

On a 1 to Star, Spangled, Hammered scale, you’re at about an 8.

Natty Light: You just like to #party wherever and whenever. You enjoy the simple things and as long as you’re with your bros watching ESPN, you couldn’t be happier.  Your favorite color is Nantucket red and you would be more upset if your Fantasy Football team lost than if you failed your last finance exam.

On a 1 to Star, Spangled, Hammered scale, you’re at about a 6.

Jack Daniels: You’re just f****** wild. You’re def the life of the party and do not live in ragrets, even though you probably should. You can make friends anywhere and the bartender at your favorite watering hole knows your name. You may not be the classiest, but you’re a nice guy/gal and always ready to show your patriotism.

On a 1 to Star, Spangled, Hammered scale, you’re at a solid 10.

California White: In your natural state, you are on the quieter side, but once you get a little Jesus juice (wine) in you, you’re a lot (like a lot) louder. You enjoy hanging out in more intimate settings and have an tendency to eat a whole wheel of Brie when drunk. Your average rate of likes per photo on Instagram is over 100 and you talk in hashtags. You’re patriotic, but you’ve seen the world and know what’s out there (because you went abroad, obviously).

On a 1 to Star, Spangled, Hammered scale, you’re at a 4.

Fireball: You don’t drink a lot, but when you do, it’s always a crazy time. You have a sweet tooth and thus, Fireball is your go-to. You can be a recluse during the week, hiding in the shadows of Lau. But when your friends finally get you out to Tombs, you tear up that dance floor (whether that is a good or bad thing). You’re studious, but also social. **Disclaimer: apparently, Fireball is Canadian, but that’s irrelevant**

On a 1 to Star, Spangled, Hammered scale, you’re at a 7.

We hope that all of you show your patriotism and love for ‘Murica this Fourth of July. Drink responsibly!

Images: giphy.com

Apply To Be A Columnist For The Hoya: Summer 2016

Apps Summer Columnist

Feeling a little bored already now that you have been away from the Hilltop for only two weeks? Do you miss all things Georgetown? Need something to fill up that old resume? Luckily, 4E has the solution for you! The Hoya will be taking applications for summer columnists and we want YOU to help us out! Why wouldn’t you want to take this opportunity to join such a prestigious publication?

We’re really classy.

The best part is that there are so many different sections to share your story on The Hoya. You can write for the the Opinion section, the Sports section, or the Guide, our arts and lifestyle section! Need some examples to get you feeling inspired? Luckily, 4E has those for you too!

We’re also just really excited.

The Guide: 

“There’s More Than the Glass Ceiling” By Kim Bussing

“Indoctrinated in Individualism” By Katherine Cienkus

Opinion: 

“Jinwoo: Party of Four” By Jinwoo Chong

Sports: 

“Red Sox-Yankees Rivalry Has Faded From the Spotlight” By Carolyn Maguire

“Pedro Martinez Was One of the Greatest Ever” By Jake Foote

Feeling motivated? Inspired? We thought so.  Please apply to be a summer columnist now for The Hoya and share your story. Articles will run from June through August.

P.S. 4E suggests you get to it as soon as possible! Apps are due by May 27th at midnight.

Pre-Registration Fails

prereg

Every semester I go into pre-registration feeling excited and confident. I plan out the perfect schedule and envision a fabulous next semester for myself. Yet, something always seems to go awry and I end up confused, angry and in despair. I’m not a pre-frosh registering for the first time, so why is this happening to me?

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If you’ve felt this way in the last few days you are not alone. Pre-registration tricks you into thinking you have control over your own schedule and then it pulls the rug out from under you and you end up lying facedown on the floor. Here are some typical pre-registration fails we’ve all encountered to help you feel better about submitting those classes today.

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1. Choosing the wrong professor. You plan to take the same boring intro class as your best friend so that you can help each other through the pain. A month later, you realized you signed up for different professors of the same class….

2. The infamous “any section” button. You really need the class to fulfill a requirement, so of course you say yes to “any section”! Only later do you realize that you never actually checked what the other sections of HUMW I actually are…. thus you end up in the Germanic Christian Hero (is that even a class you ask? Why yes, I took it Freshman year).

3. Picking a class that you thought fulfilled a requirement… but it turns out your maths need to be consecutive to count towards the general distribution requirement. I’m sorry, what? Calculus and Stats, those are consecutive right?

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4. Plugging in the wrong CRN number. This doesn’t happen as often, but when it does it’s a disaster. You copy and paste so many CRNs into those little boxes that eventually you are bound to make a mistake. If you don’t realize it in time you might find yourself in some interesting classes next semester.

5. Pre-registering for a class because your friend told you it was “great”… only to later learn that “great” is synonymous with “torture”. You’ll never look at your friend the same way again. You call this enjoyable?

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So no matter how hard you fail, just know you’re not alone. Also, chances are you will graduate in the end. And who knows, sometimes those random classes you accidentally pre-register for turn out to be the coolest ones!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com; buzzfeed.com; gurl.com; fanpop.com; survivingcollege.com

Introducing The Potomac Shore

With the Citizens Association of Georgetown (CAG) installing security cameras in the neighboring area we as Hoyas have to ask ourselves—what strange things will they catch on camera on the average Saturday night?

While the CAG cameras are meant to provide details in the event of a crime, we can only imagine what footage will go unwatched.

In my own party-going experience, I’ve gotten to know several types of individuals that may be seen on camera. Something I like to call The Potomac Shore…

The Situation/Ronnie/The Guy No One Really Remembers

You’re quite the rager, doing keg stands and shotgunning Natty like the professional bro (brofressional?) you are. You can barely walk in a straight line, let alone wheel yourself around on that superfluous skateboard. You’re that guy at the party which, for you, is not a bad thing to be. You can rock Nantucket Reds during the day and the lax pinnie at night, and we all know you’re going to score.

Sammie “Sweetheart”

We know, we know. You NEVER go out. You should be in Lau studying for that chem test on Monday, but instead you’ve got your heels in hand sitting on the 35th and Prospect. Pull yourself together, honey. Enjoy your night because there’s nothing you can do now, and worrying won’t add to your test grade.
Drink something to hydrate (jungle juice doesn’t count), and I promise you will survive.

Pauly D

You’re the cool guy that every girl and guy wants to talk to. You walk home alone, but that air of mystery that you don has people texting you all night asking what you’re up to. Listening to your Beats, you know all of the latest hits and you heard Gangnam Style before anyone else in the U.S. did. You non-
conformist, you. Stay warm, bro. Because being cool is too mainstream.

Snooki

A Potomac Shore Snooki is the guy or girl who will be seen the most on the security cameras. You’re best friends with the guys down at Tuscany, who no longer try to overcharge you for drunk pizza. Attempt to stay classy because you know that one day you’ll really want to run for a public office, and saying “It depends on what the definition of ‘is’ is” can only work once in a lifetime – props to our alum Slick Willy for that one.

Stay classy, Hoyas.