The Epic of Quick Pita

Banner - CheesyRecently, it was revealed that Quick Pita will be closing at the end of 2016 (on December 31, to be precise). You can imagine the effect this news has had on me, a connoisseur of late-night food. When I heard the news, I had a meltdown comparable to that of a catastrophic nuclear accident.Many of my fellow Quick Pita regulars reacted similarly as I gently broke the news to them. In fact, some of them threatened to transfer. Hogan Lizza (COL ’19), a devout Quick Pita enthusiast, commented, “Georgetown without Quick Pita is like the Cincinnati Zoo without Harambe.” I couldn’t have phrased it better myself. Quick Pita has been around for decades, and life will just not be the same without it.The increase in rent has left Quick Pita with no other choice but to move out. I, for one, plan on venturing there every weekend until they close. I also felt Quick Pita could not go without a proper sendoff. With a nod to Edgar Allan Poe, here is 4E’s tale of the Quick Pita we know and love:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I wandered, drunk and weary,

Thinking about my ~classy~ night out on the dance floor,

As I ambled, nearly stopping, I heard a great number of people talking,

Talking of Middle Eastern food, of a place where I had never been before.

“Just a small eatery,” I thought, “hopefully cheaper than Epi because I’m poor.”

Only this, and nothing more.

I looked up this “Quick Pita” and set off for my potential hangover cure.

I hurried down Potomac Street, both hungry and eager to explore,

Eager to learn more about this eatery of Georgetown folklore.

Once I arrived, I took in the striped awning and the hole-in-the-wall that would help me score,

Help me score my freshman 15, something to soon happen, of that I was sure.

Quick Pita, I soon realized, would make me fat, forever more.

 Deep into the VCE darkness returning, I ate my chicken fingers and cheesy fries, still learning,

Learning about this wonderful taste, about to tell my friends they had to come with me.

But they didn’t listen, they said Darnall was too far from this place.

But I knew they’d come with me at some point, on my life I swore.

Eventually they ventured to Quick Pita, and their lives were changed when they walked through the double-doors.

Their hearts were changed–forevermore.

(Such as going to Quick Pita)
Such as going to Quick Pita.

Quick Pita became my solace, a refuge for me, whether or not I was sober.

The chicken fingers, the cheesy fries, the gyro kept me coming back for more.

I got on the scale after finals last year, and yelped in horror.

My parents asked me why I gained so much weight, how I didn’t notice my expanding core,

I told them how I frequently followed the Quick Pita spoor,

The spoor that would haunt my dreams-forevermore.

It was an ordinary night in September this year when I found out what would happen,

What would happen to Quick Pita, my dear Quick Pita, my savior.

Someone’s Snapstory said that Quick Pita was closing and raised a fury among students.

This was just something that I could not ignore.

I marched down to Potomac Street in the middle of a downpour.

I had to confirm that Quick Pita would be open (I couldn’t take not knowing anymore).

I strolled in and walked up to Sammy, the cashier who any Quick Pita regular knows.

I said to him, “Is it true you’re closing? If you say yes, I may start sobbing on the floor.”

He looked at me and said in a sad voice:

“Our landlord raised rent by forty percent, we can pay it no more.”

I replied, “Is there any way at all you can stay open? This is a place I really adore.”

Quoth Sammy, ever so honest, “Nevermore.”I walked home, depressed and defeated.

I told my friends and all acquaintances of the tragedy, the end of the food we all go for.

We all protested, and we in 4E ranted when we heard the news.

The neighborhood took away Rhino, now this? It’s like we’re at war.

But for now, all we can do is sit here and deplore.

For come 2017, Quick Pita’s doors shall be open – nevermore.

And Sammy, never moving, still is sitting, still is sitting,

Sitting at the counter, aimlessly staring at the eccentric, yet lovable, decor.

And his eyes have all the seeming of a good man that is dreaming,

And the fluorescent light over him casts his shadow on the tiled floor;

And the amazing food that we eat after leaving the Brown House dance floor

Shall be from Quick Pita – nevermore!


Mean Girls is Still Grool and We’re Talking About It With Katy Donahue

FetchKaty Donahue is flawless. I hear her hair’s insured for $10,000. I hear she does car commercials… in Japan. One time she met John Stamos on a plane, he told her she was pretty, and if she punched me in the face, it would probably be awesome.

Wondering why? It’s because Katy Donahue, a fellow Hoya in the College, has been published on discussing everyone’s favorite movie: Mean Girls. Katy’s a senior majoring in Economics with a Spanish minor and she loves to quote the 2004 film just as much as you do. Katy’s answer to the lifelong question “Why is Mean Girls So Quotable?” on her Quora account caught Slate’s attention, so we made sure to talk to her because we want to know: What is up? What’s the 411? What has everybody been up to? What’s the hot gossip? Because we’re cool moms.

Can you describe to our readers who don’t know what Quora and are and how you got involved with them?

Quora is like a classier Yahoo! Answers. Members post under their own names and answer questions, usually with some expertise or experience about the subject. Questions include anything from “What do you think the economic and social implications are of fracking in the UK?” to “What is it like growing up in North Dakota?” and answers are ranked by a vote down/vote up system. Slate is a popular news website that has a partnership with Quora to publish selected answers under a specific Quora blog.

Why did you want to respond to the question “Why is Mean Girls so quotable?”

I responded to the question because in general, I often get a lot of information from Quora yet feel like I can’t contribute as much as someone with more life experience. When I see a question that I feel I can contribute to, I love to answer it! As a member of the generation of girls (and boys) that have grown up with Mean Girls, I felt like I could understand and explain why it has become so embedded in our generation as a “cult” movie.

One of the reasons you mentioned was that the issues portrayed in Mean Girls are relatable for many girls our age. How did you relate to the movie personally? 

Mean Girls came out when I was in middle school, and I absolutely remember relating to the girl-friendship dynamics that the movie portrays. It may have become a cycle of life imitating art, unfortunately, because I do remember a few “burn books” being circulated after the movie.

It’s amazing that Mean Girls quotes are still used often. Should we be quoting Mean Girls if it illustrates a negative view of girls in high school? Or do you think the movie encourages a healthier, more compassionate lifestyle for high schoolers by showing the lunacy of bullying that goes on? Does it matter either way? 

Overall, I don’t think it matters much either way, since I doubt a few offhand quotes would change people’s perceptions much. However, I think its enduring place in our collective lexicon of movie phrases may encourage people who may not have otherwise wanted to see it – especially men – to watch the movie. Although the draw of Mean Girls is its hilarious dialogue, it does help expose culturally relevant issues. It uses comedy to expose a major problem between females: the subtle idea that we are all constantly in competition (for jobs, husbands, etc.). It’s not exactly one of the hallmark quotes of the movie, but this quote by Ms. Norbury illustrates the point: “You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores.”

What is your favorite Mean Girls quote and why? 

“The limit does not exist.” Great scene in the movie, applicable in many situations and it made me less reluctant to learn calculus.

Do you wear pink on Wednesdays? 


Finally, is butter a carb?

Yes, but Kalteen bars aren’t.

Whatever, Katy, we’re getting cheese fries.