Georgetown Themed Breakup Lines

Banner - BreakupsUnhappy with your current bae? Stuck in a relationship that you want out of STAT, but don’t know how to convey it? With Valentine’s Day rolling around, these questions need to be dealt with immediately, before you are stuck at an expensive and annoying dinner with said lacking bae.

Thankfully, the place (AKA the single AF girl) who brought you Georgetown themed pickup lines and Georgetown themed rejection lines is back for one more round. Now, it’s time for part three: the best Georgetown themed break-up lines.

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I would love to keep dating you, but I prefer to spend my time people watching in Lau.

Our love is like the ICC: complicated and not worth putting effort into.

I Bleed Hoya Blue, but that doesn’t mean I love you. 

I hate your GUTS.

Hoya Hoya Saxa, it’s time to face the fact-a that this relationship isn’t working.

I’m liberally leaving this relationship, no continuity.

Lie down forever lie down.

You’re not the only Hot Chick in my life.

Let’s be like the printers in ICC and break [up] permanently.

The Dahlgren Fountain is deeper than you are.

I wish our relationship was a victim of the Cherry Tree Massacre.

You are like the Walsh elevators, too slow and not worth waiting for.

It’s not you, it’s your Corp order.

ICC you cheated on me.

Our relationship has less than 99 days left. 

And, for those of you who love 4E: I’m leaving you 4Ever

Hope these lines bring you some luck in ending those god awful relationships. And those on the receiving side, you probably should have seen this coming…

Photos/Gifs: blog.peekawoo.com; tumblr.com; smosh.com, addiction.com

The Closing Address

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I remember the exact day that I became Deputy Blog Editor and began my climb up the 4E ladder of power. I was sitting in a random hostel in Tel Aviv, Israel, on a trip with a subset of my abroad friends. It felt like a dream to me, both because I had just achieved one of my goals and because I was in ISRAEL (Read: wut). Anyway, I know for many this does not seem #lifechanging, but for me it was (cue emotions). Over the past two years, 4E and the bloggers have given me so much. It has defined so much of my Georgetown career, and for that I couldn’t be more grateful.

However, the time has come for me to give up my power and become an actual wash up. It is scary leaving something you love. But graduation is coming (even though I am trying to fight it) and it has come time to accept that the end of Georgetown is near.

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While this won’t be my last 4E post — because I am not ready for that yet — I am writing this to close the chapter of my dictatorship editorship. And, what better way to do this than by reminiscing on my favorite posts (of the 124 I have written) from the past two years.

From my heart to yours:

  • The End of the Beginning– “Oh, and when you are finally at your study abroad destination complaining about ‘how weak your internet connection is,’ just think about your favorite blogger (a.k.a. me) trying to stream videos in Turkey. God help me.”
  • 4-eign E: All About that Mosque– “Other than the untimely alarms, Turkish society is pretty normal. In Alanya, there are TWO Starbucks (and yes, they do serve iced coffee), local shops, a beach and a million and a half tourists.”
  • Campus Confusions: Post-Study Abroad– “My friends and I have realized that we have missed out on some key phrases that have been added to this beautiful language of ours. Excuse me, but what is ‘on fleek?’ Is that like a compliment? So beyond confused.”

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  • The Five Times when You Know You are a Senior– “The youth has been deprived. I explained the saga of going to Tuscany’s yesterday and actually got emotional. Who doesn’t miss the curb sing-a-longs? Or, wait, was that just me?”
  • Friday Fixat10ns: Freshman Year Throwbacks– “Let me set the scene: The year was 2012, fall to be exact. The place? Georgetown. Obama hadn’t been re-elected. Libya and Syria were all over the news. Gay marriage was not illegal nation-wide. Kim Kardashian and Kris were still technically married. And these songs were the hits of the time….”

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  • Finals Fashion: A Guide to Dressing Down– “This is me. I am leggings…There are many different ways to pull of this innovative look. Pair them with a t-shirt for a relaxed, ‘I might work out today’ look. The athletic, dressed down combo is sure to make people think that you might be fit and actually do something with your life. Or you can do what I usually do and pair your leggings with a sweater. The best part about this look is that people often will think you are put together. Joke’s on them.”
  • 5 Reasons Georgetown Students are Really Olivia Pope– “You’re awesome at delegating work and watching it all come together. Georgetown students work hard (and we Netflix even harder). Hoyas all possess the natural skill to command and demand attention. Come on, all of us have at least once delegated tasks and reaped the rewards. Life is a battlefield.”

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  • What flavor of Burnett’s are you?– “Sweeter than Whipped Cream, you are Sugar Cookie Burnett’s! This flavor should be illegal because it does not even seem like alcohol. You are perfect for fun night out, but not always for a crazy one! Maybe as the evening goes on…?”
  • Snapchat Updates Again: Emojis– “Fire- This emoji is the compliment to end all compliments. You guys are on a snapchat streak! Either you are besties missing each other or you are both too obnoxious on social media. Nonetheless, you have been snappin’ back and forth for the number of consecutive days indicated. Congrats!”

Honestly, I could list all my posts here. I have had such a blast being part of this amazing publication. Also, I’ll miss you all. Even those who rarely read my posts. Just having the opportunity to bring my thoughts to the world has been a gift to me. Don’t miss me too much.

Signing off from the Lau 3 reading room, forever 4E editor Coco.

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Photos/Gifs: bustle.com; theodysseyonline.com; buzzfeed.com; https://adnan.nyc/;  giphy.com; tumblr.com; manrepeller.com

Friday Fixat10ns: Freshman Year Throwbacks

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Has it really been 3 years since we, the Class of 2016, were mere Freshies struggling to find our way through the ICC? Yes my friends it has been that long. While I am a firm advocate for not accepting our impending graduation, there is going to come a time when showing up to Brown House parties is no longer acceptable.

In honor of the start of Dis-O tonight with the Leo’s Keg Party, 4E is taking you back to a simpler time.

Let me set the scene: The year was 2012, fall to be exact. The place? Georgetown. Obama hadn’t been re-elected. Libya and Syria were all over the news. Gay marriage was not illegal nation-wide. Kim Kardashian and Kris were still technically married. And these songs were the hits of the time….

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  1. “Gangnam Style” – PSY. The song of our NSO, the one that sparked so many awkward dance parties. Man, the last time I Gangnam Style’d… we are not going to get into that. This basically is the song of our generation (Read: but actually not at all).
  2. “Starships” – Nicki Minaj. If you don’t know all the words to this song you are most likely higher than a m***** f***** (you know what I mean). This was the song we all sang along to at the random party when we didn’t know each other. Were we awkward? Yes. Did the upperclassmen laugh at us? Most likely.
  3. “I Knew You Were Trouble” – Taylor Swift. Who could forget when Tay’s newest album, Red, emerged on the scene. My friends and I listened to EVERY SINGLE SONG. I still think to this day that T-Swizzle played a crucial role in the creation of my friend group. Thanks for the memories and all the romantic angst, girl.
  4. “Thrift Shop” – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. I’m 97.6% positive this song sparked the hipster trend at Georgetown. Don’t quote me on that though. Whenever you heard those beginning notes you knew that it was on and that it was time to sing. Did anyone actually know all the words? Or any words other than “grandma’s clothes?”
  5. “Call Me Maybe” – Carly Rae Jepsen. I feel like there was a dance attached to this song. Was that just me? Nonetheless, it was the song of the fall. The amount of people I told to “omg call me maybe” is kinda sad. I should be disappointed with myself. Whatever, I’m still here so I guess I didn’t screw up too much!
  6. “Boyfriend” – Justin Bieber. Ugh, the good old days when Justin was still young and quasi-innocent? Swag, fondue and falsetto. Did ever freshman girl want to be his girlfriend? Because, personally, this song kinda creeped me out. Like, hey dude please leave me along didn’t you get the message I am not interested.
  7. “Too Close” – Alex Clare. This song reminds me of all those 1st week relationships that quickly died out. This song perfectly explains the  moment when you realize “oops, we just met and I don’t think I actually like you.” RIP to all the fallen possible lovers.
  8. “Titanium” – David Guetta (Feat. Sia). My fondest memory of this song is me and my friends drunkly singing it at the top of our lungs in front of Tuscany’s (again, RIP). Such empowerment, I don’t think I could have gotten through the emotions and struggles of freshman year without the lyrics of Sia.
  9. “We Found Love” – Rihanna (Feat. Calvin Harris). Freshman year was tough. Thank god we found love (AKA alcohol and friends) in this hopeless place. This is back when Rihanna was still very pop. Doesn’t this song just make you want to hug your friends and look back at all your #mems?
  10. “Good Feeling” – Flo Rida. UGH FLO RIDA FOR THE WIN. The ultimate pump up song. This song completed every party. Every time I hear it  a montage of freshman year house parties and all the stupid things I did pops into my head. TBT that time I showed up to Brown House when there was no party. Oops!

We are not gone yet, Class of 2016. Let’s go out with a bang. Happy Dis-O!

Photos/Gifs: https://snaap.indiana.edu/; photobucket.com

Wagner’s Closed… For Now

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What’s the deal with Wagner’s?

Many of you may be familiar with Wagner’s Liquor, a fine establishment located at 1717 Wisconsin Ave. NW. Well, bad news!

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The interior of Wagner’s has been reduced to a pile of rubble, price tags and American flags. What happened here exactly? According to Hoya staffer Katherine Seder, who sighted movers at the Wagner’s storefront, someone has bought this establishment. Calls to Wagner’s went unanswered, but according to the movers, the new owners are keeping the area a liquor store.

Obviously, since the inside is gutted, Wagner’s is closed right now and will be for the near future. But once it’s reopened, you can get back to legally purchasing alcohol! So no worries, Hoyas who aren’t underage, when the new owners get “Wagner’s” up and running again, you’ll still have a reliable party shopping stop on Wisconsin.

Photos: Katherine Seder/The Hoya, panoramio.com

How to Lose Your Roommate in 10 Days

Bye Roomie

Is your roommate grimy? Psychotic? Just generally weird? Sometimes there is nothing better than hearing yourself referred to as an ex by someone you never want to see again. Follow these 10 steps to make sure they’ll dump you ASAP. Warning: Make sure you’re positive that you don’t want to continue to live with this person before you attempt this 10 day extravaganza; it’ll take a lot of effort and your soon to be ex-roomie will likely never look at you again.

Day One: Buy a small pet (I recommend a ferret), put the cage on top of Roomie’s dresser, feed it his/her snacks and make a chore sheet assigning him/her every task necessary to take care of the pet except for “playtime.” Yell at your roomie regularly for failing to take care of it. Throw the wood shavings or newspapers from the bottom of the cage onto his/her bed.

Day Two: Ask him/her, “Hey, have you seen our toothbrush?”

Day Three: Put your hair all over the walls of your shower. Brush it over the sink so that it covers the drain. Pick up the hair clumps off the floor and put them on her/his pillow.

Day Four: Subscribe to listservs using your roomie’s Georgetown email with companies that email prolifically — we recommend this one — and act like it was a really nice gesture

Day Five: Comment on all of their pictures on social media with sincere compliments or questions that obviously are irrelevant. For example, “Hey, we need more toilet paper. Mind picking it up on the way home?” Also, let your roommate know the ferret got out of its cage.

Day Six: Cry randomly whenever you are in the room together. Cut up your roommate’s T-shirts to use as handkerchiefs. When you’re done, hug your roomie and thank him or her for getting the tissues but encourage your roommate to buy the “name brand” in the future.

Day Seven: Push the two beds together and put your blanket and pillow over both of them. Sleep across the beds long ways.

Day Eight: Find out any and all of your roommate’s nonfatal allergies — these are your new favorite foods.

Day Nine: Don’t wear deodorant, get really sweaty and smelly and then stand in front of the air vent to circulate your stench around the room.

Day Ten: Send hourly texts with biblical quotes, cat facts or other niche topics that do not interest them. Also let your soon to be ex-roommate that you found the ferret but you also found another, much smaller ferret too.

10 days is all it takes! As freeing as it might feel, don’t forget to lose these awful habits as soon as you switch to living with a roommate you can actually stand.

Photo: tumblr.com

Qdoba is Outie

PEACEQDOBADear Qdoba,

As Celine Dion once said:

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
And I love Burritos

So you’re closing and I keep flashing back to when you said forever and always. It rains in your kitchen; everything is wrong. It rains when you’re here, and it rains when you’re gone. ‘Cause I was there when you said, “Burritos! Always!” You didn’t mean it, baby.

I’ll just have to go to Chipotle now. On second thought, that doesn’t make me very sad at all. PEACE QDOBA!

Now that we’ve sufficiently moved on via Celine and Taylor, it’s time to look to the future: Alice and Olivia is opening in Qdoba’s place. Why couldn’t these two stores just make an agreement to sell burritos and adorable dresses together? I would never leave.

Here are some Alice and Olivia ensembles that may be better than Mexican food:

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Note that we are choosing $500 dresses here over $6 burritos. So this may not be an even match or a smart choice — but look at that puffy skirt!

Moral of the story is: spend money on expensive dresses when Mexican food eateries break your heart.