Friday Fixat10ns: Middle School Dance Edition


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Whip out the ugg boots, blue eye shadow and flip phones because this playlist will serve as the ultimate “throwback” to those fantastically awkward middle school days.

  1. “Stronger” – Kanye West. We all wanted those shutter shades featured in the music video, and even the kids who didn’t normally dance were likely to participate in this one.  
  2. “TiK ToK” – Ke$ha. Alas, the rise of Ke$ha, with her money symbol name and her amazingly bizarre lyrics. It’s still a mystery how middle schools allowed a song with words like “before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of jack.”
  3. “I Know You Want Me” – Pitbull (Feat. Calle Ocho). While we mock Mr. 305, we can agree that this song was our jam in those middle school days. Deep down we all had a special someone that we wanted to serenade with this tune if that sort of thing were “socially acceptable.”
  4. “Lollipop” – Lil Wayne. This song came on when the “grinding” (or whatever the kids call it these days) was in full force. The chaperones heard the start of this and were probably in alert mode to break up that kind of dancing.
  5. “Poker Face” – Lady Gaga. Everyone knows the tune, the words and the meaning. It was played not just at middle school dances, but at every other event where music was played aloud.
  6. “Live Your Life” – T.I. (Feat. Rihanna). As a middle schooler we all loved this song and all sang along to the chorus and focused on dancing during the TI verses since it was hard to memorize those portions. Good times.
  7. “With You” – Chris Brown. Awww. When Chris Brown wasn’t scary, this song was a perfect for slow dancing or just swaying along to.
  8. “Low” – Flo-Rida. Yes, we all googled “apple bottom jeans” and we all had that “a-ha!” moment after realizing that Flo-Rida is Florida “like the state.”
  9. “Umbrella” – Rihanna (feat. Jay-Z). It went beyond a song but was like a universally known and enjoyed middle school bonding piece that is still enjoyable to listen to.
  10. “When I Grow Up” – The Pussycat Dolls. This was a “belt it out and have no shame” sort of song, and it was a universal misconception (that we all bonded over) that she says “boobies” not “groupies.


Party Themes 2.0

Party Themes 2.0

Whiteout. Anything But Clothes. Toga. Flannels and handles. In a report released this afternoon by the Frat Boy Association of America (FBAA), these time-honored, critically acclaimed college party themes have all earned the widely sought-after “ratchet” status.

These findings reveal a lack of innovation across the board. Although these classics never fail to deliver their fair share of jungle juice, Natty, crop tops and shame, we at 4E believe it’s time to make some cutting-edge contributions to today’s antiquated party theme options.

Your Favorite Handle

A good party theme is all about the double entendre/puns. Sport @yourfavoritetwitteraccount on your T-shirt or dress up like your favorite flavor of Burnett’s. Recommendations include @LILBTHEBASEDGOD and @amandabynes. If you go the vodka route, get creative with your flavor choice. Tropical punch, perhaps. Just not maple syrup because we told you that’s disgusting.

I Woke Up Like This

Channel your inner Sasha Fierce or wear slippers and a nightgown. This theme presents a juxtaposition between divas and bedheads that will keep the party interesting. There is also the opportunity to put the absolute maximum or the bare minimum effort into the costume depending on whether you choose to be Bey or a lazy pajama-clad college student for the night. Earn extra points by merging the two and somehow finding a way to pull off being Beyoncé in a onesie.

Basic and Basic

Although the term “basic” has started to grind my gears, it has party theme potential. Either incorporate some chemistry knowledge into your outfit via a cute and flirty pH scale drawing on your tank top or opt for yoga pants and Uggs (with the fur rolled down) while toting around a Starbucks holiday cup.

Middle School Dance and Cargo Pants

This theme aims to take you back to your school gym in the seventh grade. Party attire can include a combination of any of the following elements: Apple Bottom jeans, denim mini skirt, pink Converse, a choker and/or a Juicy Couture track jacket. For the boys, cargo pants with so many pockets that you could simultaneously store all of your Yu-Gi-Oh cards within them. (Also acceptable: those sweatpants with fifteen zippers that allowed one to change from pants to capris to shorts to boxer-length shorts in a few easy unzips). If you’re not chasing your drinks with Sunny D and following those body shots with a sip of Capri Sun, you’re doing it wrong.

And that’s all for now. Use these last days before Thanksgiving to give these themes a try or hold out until your last free weekend before finals. Because you can only dress in ABC so many times before you start to realize it’s cold out.